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Tag: Things We Are Doing Just To Amuse Ourselves (1-10 of 63)

We try to interpret Louis C.K.'s high-sounding, 'not high' tweets

Before we get into what Louis C.K. has been tweeting this afternoon, let’s clarify: He is not stoned. At least, that’s what he claimed in a straightforward tweet: “I’m not high.”

His other tweets would lead us to believe otherwise. Wednesday morning, C.K. started releasing a string of tweets, beginning with a thought about how Mars may have been like Earth once before people like us messed it all up. He went on to clarify that his thoughts are “not opinions or theories,” but “feelings.” He just feels things, man.
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A poem for James Franco, in honor of his poetry

This morning, Time debuted two new poems from renowned poet—sorry, actor—sorry, graduate student—sorry, who knows what anymore—James Franco. The pieces come from Franco’s new book, Hollywood Dreaming: Stories, Pictures, and Poems.

The first, “Angelz,” is about Franco’s experience filming Spring Breakers. (In the second stanza, he even seems to start writing in character as gangster Alien, using “z” instead of “s.”) The second poem is an ode to Franco’s Milk co-star Sean Penn.

There’s really only one way to respond to this brave* new work—which is why EW has composed a poem for Franco in his own style. READ FULL STORY

The Summer of Butts: An exhaustive booty trend timeline

Ah, the summer of 2014: It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times. Though mostly, let’s face it, it was the worst. Yet even as horrific violence and heartbreakingly premature deaths and hemorrhagic fevers have marred the past few months, there have also been a few spots of levity. And most are thanks to butts.

True, the humble hiney is no stranger to celebration, especially when it’s warm outside. (You may, however, be shocked to learn that Sisquo’s “Thong Song” was actually released in January.) But this summer went above and beyond, prominently featuring ladies’ posteriors in movies, TV shows, and, more than anywhere else, music. As the season unofficially comes to a close over Labor Day Weekend, let’s take a look back at the Butts of Summer.

May 2
Consider this tasty little news story an appetizer: Word breaks that Japanese Godzilla fans are incensed about the monster’s appearance in Gareth Edwards’ upcoming reboot. Why? Because it’s just so… round, and out there: “It’s fat from the neck downwards and massive at the bottom,” one says. Clearly, nobody appreciates a big ol’ booty like Americans do—as the next three months will prove.

May 21
You know how summer movie season begins over Memorial Day weekend, even though summer doesn’t technically start until mid-June? Well, the Summer of Butts officially launched when Jason Derulo first crooned “You know what to do with that big fat butt” in the music video for “Wiggle.” READ FULL STORY

Let's cast everyone from 'Girls' in NBC's 'Peter Pan'

That collective “whaaaaa?!” you heard around 9:40 a.m. this morning was the sound of the internet learning that NBC had cast Girls star Allison Williams as the title role in its upcoming production of Peter Pan Live.

On its surface, the decision seems, well, kind of bizarre. Think about it for a minute, though, and you may get where NBC is coming from: Williams is a practiced, experienced singer, and she’s also long harbored dreams of voicing a Disney character someday. (This Pan musical is different from Disney’s animated take, but it’s just as much of a family-friendly classic.) She’s also got the wide-eyed, gamine quality of a young Mary Martin or Cathy Rigby, the two actresses who have most famously played this version of Pan in the past.

That said: For anyone who watches Girls, it’s going to be pretty tough to get over the cognitive dissonance of watching judgmental, aimless Marnie flitting around in tights, belting about how she’s gotta crow. Which is why we should take this opportunity to imagine an even weirder parallel universe in which a) the characters on Girls are real and b) they’ve all been cast in a live TV production of Peter Pan. Here’s who’d be playing who. (Since he joined the production before Williams did, this cast list assumes that Christopher Walken is still on board as Captain Hook—even though I’m sure we’re all yearning to see Brian Williams take over the part now.) READ FULL STORY

Beetles destroyed George Harrison's memorial tree, so we rewrote some Beatles songs about it

A tree that someone planted in memory of the Beatles’ George Harrison is no more: It was destroyed by beetles. No, really.

The pine tree, planted in 2004 near Los Angeles’ Griffith Observatory, died when it was infested by a swarm of beetles. It will eventually be replanted—but for now, we have some words for those tree-destroying insects. And naturally, those words come in the form of reinvented Beatles songs. READ FULL STORY

Recapping 14 episodes of 'Firefly' -- on napkins

You didn’t think that we were going to start writing napkin recaps of Joss Whedon shows and leave out Firefly, did you?

Well, weren’t. So in the continuing spirit of reducing complex mythologies and funny jokes to poorly scrawled napkin descriptions, we threw together these napkin recaps of the famed (and sadly cut short) first season of the cult-classic space western.

Before we start, here’s a drawing Joss Whedon did of the future of the Serenity crew post-Serenity. We’re not napkin recapping the film, mostly because it took place on a whole different medium.

Note: previous napkin recaps were by the season, but since Firefly only lasted for one season, we’ve gone down to the episode level.

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Everything Hugh Jackman looks like now

Hugh Jackman looks crazy.

The actor is currently playing Blackbeard in next year’s Peter Pan prequel Pan. Yup—everything in that last sentence proves that we’re living in the hilarious dystopia our greatest science-fiction writers warned us about. But don’t despair, because Jackman isn’t just playing Blackbeard: He’s also rocking a very distinctive Blackbeard look–bald head, elaborate beard–and he’s rocking it in public, mostly in the stands at Wimbledon. Here’s everything Hugh Jackman looks like now: READ FULL STORY

Lunchtime Poll: What would you turn into if you were 'Beauty and the Beast'-ed?

It’s a tale as old as time: Creepy old woman asks to use your phone on a cold prologue night, elementary school-age prince declines because his parents raised him well, aforementioned spinster casts a curse on the kid and his entire staff, whose only crime was trying to get by on the crazy merry-go-round we call This Provincial Life.

That’s how Beauty and the Beast transformed a whole ensemble of domestic workers into pieces of furniture and assorted household objects. Certainly it was an unfortunate fate for all of The Beast’s staff, but especially for the ones with bad enough karma to be transformed into, say, a wardrobe—or worse, a teacup without a face. READ FULL STORY

AMC's 'Walking Dead' marathon: A survival guide

Big plans for the Fourth of July weekend? Barbecue? Fireworks? Spending time with family and friends you feel bad for not seeing more often?

Nuts to all that! Why not spend the most American weekend of the year watching the most American show on television? No, not Turn. I’m talking about The Walking Dead, AMC’s beloved death-festival melodrama.

The network will air all 51 episodes of the post-apocalyptic saga starting on the morning of July 4, which means you can spend the next few days experiencing four seasons of zombie killing, lead-character fatalities, Rick Grimes’ poor leadership decisions, gruff-but-lovable Daryl Motherf—ing Dixonisms, people yelling “Sophia!” to no avail, people trusting the Governor when they really shouldn’t trust the Governor, admirably adventurous attempts at Southern accents, ridiculously romantic Glenn/Maggie moments—and did we mention the zombie killing? READ FULL STORY

Note to movie studios: Give trolls their due!

Trolls are having a moment. Yesterday, DreamWorks announced that Anna Kendrick would star in Trolls, an animated musical based on the creepy children’s toys. Last week, Laika released the trailer for The Boxtrolls, which combats trolls’ reputation as monsters, depicting them instead as silly magical creatures living peacefully in the sewers. And last year, Frozen featured a gaggle of friendly, wise trolls who adopted leading man Kristoff and gave leading lady Anna a hand when she needed their help.

All of these creatures stand in pretty sharp contrast to various Old Norse myths, which establish a few basic trollish characteristics: they’re magical, strong, not very smart, human-hungry, and vulnerable to the sun, which turns them into stone. While this cuddly new breed of trolls may be magical, they’re also cute and amiable. And that’s a shame.

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