Tag: Things That Make Me Die Inside (81-90 of 679)

Aug 17 2012 09:00 AM ET

Lauren Conrad: What is your damage?

Former Hills star and current hair role model Lauren Conrad posted a video tutorial showing viewers how to cut the spines off of books, glue them to a box, and then store non-book items in that box. She used seemingly brand new copies of Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events. (Ooh, foreshadowing!) This turned out to be a FATAL ERROR — a bunch of book purists freaked out, the clip went viral, and LC removed the video all within a few hours Wednesday night. I know I’ll remember where I was when it happened for the rest of my life. Ha, no.

Lemony Snicket himself commented on Lauren’s peculiar failure to Slate: “It has always been my belief that people who spend too much time with my work end up as lost souls, drained of reason, who lead lives of raving emptiness and occasional lunatic violence. What a relief it is to see this documented.”

Exactly. So why’d she have to take it down?

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Aug 15 2012 10:38 PM ET

The new 'So You Think You Can Dance' elimination process is a major buzzkill

Well! That was a weird episode after a few weeks off. Instead of new routines, the Top 14 performed seven iconic dances from past seasons as a tribute to Mia Michaels. It was great to relive some of her brilliant choreography, but I feel like some of the current contestants got shafted when the judges compared them to the original performers instead of evaluating them on their own merits. Viewers may naturally do the same.

Plus, I’d forgotten how absolutely brutal So You Think You Can Dance‘s new elimination policy is. There’s no results show this season, so after all the couples have performed, Cat Deeley herds her ducklings into an arc of terror and proceeds to pack an hour’s worth of results into just a few minutes. The contestants who face elimination are in that position based on the last week’s routines — or in this case, routines from July 25.

Are you into this? I think it’s crazy and weird!

SPOILERS AHEAD: The four (!!!!) dancers heading home are…. READ FULL STORY »

Aug 14 2012 02:25 PM ET

Lady Gaga is a swamp monster in new perfume ad: VIDEO

So normally, when celebrities release a fragrance, the ad is aspirational. Gaga went in the opposite direction for the commercial for Fame, her first perfume. Gaga herself tweeted the ad out this morning, “THE OFFICIAL TRAILER “FAME” THE FRAGRANCE DIRECTED BY: STEVEN KLEIN.”

This follows a previous trailer that did not feature Gaga, and a print ad that showcased men climbing all over the naked singer. If you needed to see more of the later, you’re in luck.  This commercial features tiny men crawling all over her once again (Are we suppose to assume this is the height of Fame?), as well as a futuristic fashion show and plenty of some kind of black goo that is clearly not the fragrance coming out of her mouth… it’s all coming alive like a monster!

I see what she did there.

Check out the 30-second spot below: READ FULL STORY »

Aug 14 2012 11:00 AM ET

What's your damage, Olympics commercials?

Welcome to ‘What Is Your Damage,’ Annie Barrett’s summer shop of all the melodrama and self-absorption she misses from springtime reality TV. Every Tuesday and Friday, she’ll rant about a current offense to her humanity, then assess readers’ damages via video replies. Don’t be shy about admitting what annoys or intrigues you. We’re all in this pop cult together!

What’s your damage, Olympics commercials? Way to fuel my post-London depression. The Games are over but you’re still around, bringing back misty water-colored memories of the 17 days I spent cryling (crying/smiling) and LOVING IT on my couch. It’s time to go! You’ll fade out anyway, and it’s best we make a clean break so I can muster up the courage to go outside again. You know I love you, but you’re ultimately a fleeting tease, like Costas’ one-night-only hipster glasses. “What’s Your Damage, London?” volumes 1, 2, 3, and 4 were fun, but I can’t keep writing about the Olympics forever. Just once more. Allow me to assess your damage.

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Aug 11 2012 11:57 AM ET

Olympics recap, Day 14: The joy of Carmelita Jeter's victory, agony of Morgan Uceny's defeat

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Image Credit: Jamie Squire/Getty Images

NBC’s primetime telecast had something for everyone Friday night: Joy and pain at the track (both running and BMX), the network’s two best trips down memory lane (with the 1992 Dream Team and the first charming man to run under a four-minute mile), male 10m platform divers with and without body hair, and a Downton Abbey shout-out in a Mary Carillo segment on castles and coats of arms. (Why didn’t they choose a funnier sound bite from the Dowager Countess?) Let’s dig in. READ FULL STORY »

Aug 10 2012 12:00 PM ET

What is your damage, London Olympics? (Vol. 4)

whats-your-damage-bob-costas

Image Credit: NBC

Welcome to ‘What Is Your Damage,’ Annie Barrett’s summer shop of all the melodrama and self-absorption she misses from springtime reality TV. Every Tuesday and Friday, she’ll rant about a current offense to her humanity, then assess readers’ damages via video replies. Don’t be shy about admitting what annoys or intrigues you. We’re all in this pop cult together!

What’s your damage, Olympics? (After the exhaustive picture roundups of Volume 1, Volume 2, and Volume 3, I ask you for the last time.) Why must you end in two days and RUIN MY LIFE?

I’m particularly mad at you, Bob Costas, for wearing those random yet intriguing glasses that kept disappearing and reappearing during last night’s primetime telecast. Why’d you wait ’til Day 13 to transform into Harry Potter’s wet hot American uncle? Those hipster specs of yours were just like the Olympics: As soon as you get invested — poof! They’re gone. Brutal.

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Aug 10 2012 11:15 AM ET

Baby Beluga is dead, and so is your childhood

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Image Credit: Vancouver Aquarium

The new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles say “booyakasha” instead of “cowabunga.” The producer of The Smurfs has set his sights on ALF. And, oh yeah, the adorable beluga whale who inspired Raffi’s immortal tune “Baby Beluga” is dead in the water. Is nothing sacred anymore?!

Raffi Cavoukian met Kavna the whale at the Vancouver Aquarium in 1979. He thought she was a “magnificent creature”: “The folks at the aquarium brought me to poolside and the trainer helped me to play with Kavna. Kavna even came out of the water and placed a gentle, graceful kiss on my cheek and I couldn’t stop talking about it for a couple of weeks,” he told Vancouver’s News 1130 earlier this week. READ FULL STORY »

Aug 7 2012 12:19 PM ET

When reality stars sing: Whose tune is the worst of all?

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Image Credit: MTV

When reality stars sing, the results can be totally inoffensive (Brooke Hogan’s career) or surprisingly decent (Paris Hilton’s “Stars Are Blind” — seriously, it’s like a watered-down “Underneath It All”! In a good way!). More often, though, their songs are auto-tuned nightmares and tone-deaf raps, music that makes you yearn for a sweet shot of Adele to take the pain away.

In that vein, I offer up Teen Mom Farrah Abraham’s new single. Is it the worst piece of “music” in recorded history? It’s possible — though Abraham’s got some serious competition from other misguided reality crooners. Let’s survey the candidates, then decide which is the most rotten apple at the very bottom of the barrel:

Farrah Abraham (Teen Mom), “Getting Up from Rock Bottom”
The Lowdown: Knowing that this 21-year-old mother has endured substance abuse, depression, and her boyfriend’s death might make you feel bad about crapping all over her musical venture. But when a song is this dismal, it’s tough to practice the golden rule. Be sure to turn your speakers down before hitting “Play” on the linked SoundCloud file, unless you’d like to suffer from Pounding Eardrum Syndrome.
Worst Lyrics: Vocal effects are applied so thickly that you can’t really understand a word Abraham is yelping. Blessing in disguise?

READ FULL STORY »

Aug 7 2012 12:00 PM ET

What is your damage, London Olympics? (Vol. 3)

Welcome to ‘What Is Your Damage,’ Annie Barrett’s summer shop of all the melodrama and self-absorption she misses from springtime reality TV. Every Tuesday and Friday, she’ll rant about a current offense to her humanity, then assess readers’ damages via video replies. Don’t be shy about admitting what annoys or intrigues you. We’re all in this pop cult together!

What’s your damage, Olympics? Last Tuesday, I railed against poolside interviewer Andrea Kremer among other Olympics offenders like Ryan Seacrest. Friday’s Volume 2 brought spitting in the pool, a lucky towel, and a very special wedgie. But most damaging right now? NBC interrupting — and cutting a significant chunk from! — a primetime SPORTING event in order to air another “What is….London?” Mary Carillo segment. Brutal! READ FULL STORY »

Aug 3 2012 12:00 PM ET

What is your damage, London Olympics? (Vol. 2)

michael-phelps-olympics.jpg

Image Credit: Tim Wimborne/Landov

Welcome to ‘What Is Your Damage,’ Annie Barrett’s summer shop of all the melodrama and self-absorption she misses from springtime reality TV. Every Tuesday and Friday, she’ll rant about a current offense to her humanity, then assess readers’ damages via video replies. Don’t be shy about admitting what annoys or intrigues you. We’re all in this pop cult together!

What’s your damage, Olympics? This week I’ve already railed against poolside interviewer Andrea Kremer and NBC’s hideously disjointed men’s all-around gymnastics telecast, so it’s time to lighten up. Today’s all about wedgies, towelies, and a lovely temper tantrum from a “challenging character” in women’s gymnastics. But first and foremost: Can these gross-outs please stop spitting in and around the pool?

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