A glooming peace this morning with it brings… at least for members of the Colbert Nation. Hugo Chavez, president of Venezuela and “friend of” The Colbert Report, is dead. Stephen Colbert acknowledged the news last night before moving on to an issue that’s just as pressing: Jon Stewart’s upcoming hiatus from The Daily Show. And naturally, these two story nuggets led to a punchline accented by a pretty awesome photo:
Tag: The Colbert Report (21-30 of 106)
Interested in lobbing some Pope-related wordplay in light of Benedict XVI’s recent retirement? Good luck — Stephen Colbert probably already beat you to the punch.
During this segment on last night’s Colbert Report, the fake pundit (and real-life practicing Roman Catholic) revealed that he’s the master of Pope punnery via references to being “disimpopinated,” having a “popendectomy,” and, perhaps best of all, a franchise called Popemon — complete with an adorable illustration of the Catholic Church’s leader as Ash Ketchum. Hey, if you’ve got to lose, at least you’re losing to the best. Bask in Colbert’s reflected glory here: READ FULL STORY
“These days the gays are accepted everywhere you go. They’re like Visa cards, only thinner.”
– Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report
Check out the rest of your quote submissions from Wednesday Jan. 30 and come back Sunday to share your pick for best sound bite!
Steve Jobs: The popular jock to Bill Gates’s nerdy Chess Club president?
It certainly seems that way. As Stephen Colbert pointed out to the man himself last night, Gates has been working tirelessly for nearly two decades to promote education and eradicate childhood death through his Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation — yet the Microsoft founder has never received the same sort of fawning popular acclaim that Jobs got every time he introduced a smaller iPod.
Gates, to his credit, wasn’t bothered by the question. “He was always cooler than me,” the billionaire told Colbert of Jobs. “He was brilliant. He had his own style, he had his own approach. And mine is I guess a little geekier than his was.”
Last night, Kathryn Bigelow stopped by The Colbert Report and addressed the controversy surrounding the torture scenes in Zero Dark Thirty.
“First of all, torture is reprehensible,” Bigelow said. “And I think it’s a very controversial issue. It’s been debated since the early part of 2000. And it’s gonna continue to be debated. And I would call this movie kind of the first draft of history, or maybe the first rough cut of history.”
In the extended interview Colbert pushes further, asking Bigelow if she thinks that the firsthand information given to her was accurate or if it was twisted to make the torture techniques seem worth while.
Comedy Central’s crack fake news team kicked off four more years of Obama jokes last night, when the president’s second inauguration provided a wealth of material for both The Daily Show and The Colbert Report.
Jon Stewart began the evening with a discussion of the day’s main event: Michelle Obama’s awesome new bangs. He also hit on the inauguration itself — which featured an Obama screw-up that must have made Mitt Romney spit out his milk, George Stephanopoulos proving that all tall people look the same to him, and a presidential address that detailed “a healthcare plan designed to kill your white grandparents. Kill ‘em dead!” Pretty solid stuff, though not quite as notable as the fact that the show welcomed Supreme Court justice Sonia Sotomayor just hours after she swore in Vice President Biden. (Someone give The Daily Show‘s guest booker a raise, stat.)
What will the Colbert Nation make of this?
Elizabeth Colbert-Busch, one of Comedy Central star Stephen Colbert’s older sisters, will run for Congress in her home state of South Carolina — as a Democrat — according to a report from local newspaper the St. Andrews Patch. This is Colbert-Busch’s first foray into politics; she’s previously worked for various administrative departments at Clemson University. The race for the traditionally Republican seat in the state’s First Congressional District — which runs along the Atlantic coast — is a hotly contested one, with ex-governor Mark Sanford one of several Republicans vying for the seat. READ FULL STORY
Listening to a Brit talk gun control and the Second Amendment was sure to get Stephen Colbert’s well, guns blazing.
Piers Morgan stopped by The Colbert Report last night to comment on the CNN host’s call for stricter gun laws and his interview with radio host Alex Jones, who wants Morgan deported for his views. It turns out Colbert and Jones have that in common. Colbert opened his chat with Morgan by saying, “I mean this in the most respectful way possible: Get the f— out of Dodge!”
The chat amusingly went downhill from there, with Colbert whipping out a different pocket constitution every time Morgan tried to make a point. “I think it’s a cheap shot to bring up the subject that we’re talking about,” Colbert explained when Morgan tried to discuss the recent school massacres.
The interview peaked with Morgan describing what he seems to think many Americans’ greatest fear is: Prince William and Kate Middleton coming to the U.S. and taking away all the AR-15s.
Watch below and find out just how many pocket constitutions Colbert has on his person. READ FULL STORY
Can every week be Hobbit Week on The Colbert Report?
Last night, Stephen Colbert launched a full week of episodes dedicated to dissecting Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey — complete with a set elaborately decorated to look like The Shire, where Middle-earth’s most fuzzy-footed creatures make their home. The fake pundit — and real Tolkien superfan — welcomed as his first guest Sir Ian McKellen, a celebrated actor who’s best known in geek circles for playing Magneto in the X-Men movies and Gandalf in Jackson’s Tolkien adaptations.
Though he never broke character, Colbert was obviously psyched to share his second breakfast table with McKellen. After showing a clip from the new movie, the actor and the host chatted about everything from why Gandalf the Grey is more fun than Gandalf the White, whether Colbert or McKellen knows more about the character’s mythology, and McKellen’s work as a gay rights advocate. The highlight: McKellen quipped that a new Jackson sequel will star “Gandalf the Gay”: “And you get to find out who is his favorite dwarf.”
For all this, plus McKellen’s assessment of who would win in a fight between Magneto and the White Wizard, click below. READ FULL STORY
In a way, Batman is sort of like Santa Claus. He’s cloaked in mystery, sorts through the naughty and the nice at night, and has helpers who build his magnificent toys. Also — little known fact — the real Santa delivers his “Ho, ho, ho’s” in an Eastwoodian whisper. So it makes some sense that The Dark Knight Rises arrives on Blu-ray just in time for it to become the stocking stuffer of the holiday season. (Yeah, like you’re going to wait that long to watch it again.)
Check out what else this week has in store.
SUNDAY, Dec. 2
Boardwalk Empire season finale, HBO, 10 p.m.
Empire has demonstrated that it knows how to close. Every season, HBO’s gangster prohibition drama eases into the action, patiently setting up the game’s pieces during the first few episodes, before thundering towards an emotional climax. Expect more fireworks tonight. READ FULL STORY
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