How great is this Bad Lip Reading of the first Twilight movie? So great that I don’t even want to describe it — I just want to list my favorite absurd lines, then crack up reading that list over and over again. “He’s Kevin, so… Keeeeevvvvviiiin.” “I wanted to make some seafood.” “That cake’s my most bestest creation.” Whether you’re a Twihard or someone who cringes at the very word “vampire,” just watch it:
Tag: Lollapalooza (1-9 of 9)
The London Olympics, it must be noted, are just a little over halfway finished, and the major focus will now shift from the swimming pool to the track and field stadium and team sports. World-record holder Usain Bolt will attempt to make history today in the 100 meters, the Dream Team is still on course for gold in hoops, and the American women’s soccer team has its eyes set on an Olympic threepeat. For those of you numb from Bob Costas’ measured tones tucking you in at night, however, there are plenty of other gold-medal-caliber entertainment options this week. By plenty, I mean seven. So you may as well just succumb to the Olympic spirit, vow not to harp about NBC’s tape-delayed coverage, and try to mix in a little Full Metal Jacket Blu-ray or The Bourne Legacy in between all the U-S-A! chants. Good luck with that.
SUNDAY, AUG. 5
Lollapalooza at Grant Park in Chicago
Olympics Primetime: Who is the World’s Fastest Man?, NBC
Lollapalooza might be the best example of Olympic counter-programming ever conceived. I doubt many folks in Chicago for the weekend festival have been obsessively following the sweaty jocks 4,000 miles away. Tonight, the festival closes with performances from Jack White, Florence + The Machine, and Childish Gambino (a.k.a. Community‘s Donald Glover), among others. You can watch a live stream online.
Sometime around 4:50 p.m. ET, Usain Bolt will defend his title as the World’s Fastest Man in the men’s 100-meter final. He coasted through his preliminary heat — winning despite nearly stumbling out of the starting block. NBC’s primetime coverage will surely celebrate his repeat gold, or the crowning of a new champion.
MONDAY, AUG. 6
Pete Seeger on The Colbert Report, Comedy Central, 11:30 p.m.
Olympics Primetime: Men’s 400-meters final, NBC
I have this hope that Colbert’s sit-down with the 93-year-old folk legend will be as electric as the host’s interview last year with Maurice Sendak, who died earlier this year. (Hmm…, maybe “electric” isn’t the right word for Seeger.) But can they close with a duet of “This Land is Your Land”? Please.
American sprinter and 2008 Olympic gold medalist LaShawn Merritt injured himself in his qualifying heat, so the 400-meter title is wide open. So far, no one’s come within a second of Michael Johnson’s 13-year-old world record.
TUESDAY, AUG. 7
Full Metal Jacket 25th Anniversary Blu-ray
Olympics Primetime: Final day of men’s and women’s gymnastics, NBC
Stanley Kubrick’s 1987 Vietnam epic wowed critics with its stark portrayal of Marine boot camp and the multitude of contradictions that soldiers faced in southeast Asia. A new Blu-ray looks back, and passionate fans can dig even deeper with Matthew Modine’s Full Metal Jacket Diary app, which chronicles the actor’s own tour of duty with the unknowable director.
In London, hard-luck gymnast Jordyn Wieber goes for gold in the women’s floor exercise, and three other golds will be handed out during the last night of gymnastics competition.
WEDNESDAY, AUG. 8
Dallas season finale, TNT, 9:00 p.m.
Olympics Primetime: Women’s beach volleyball final
Tonight on Dallas!
Please let Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh Jennings make the beach volleyball final: May-Treanor has not yet thanked everyone she has ever met since she was 7 years old during her post-match heart-to-hearts with the camera!
THURSDAY, AUG. 9
Childrens Hospital season premiere, Adult Swim, 12:00 a.m.
Olympics Primetime: Women’s soccer final, NBC
As someone who’s been to a hospital once, let me say that Childrens Hospital is the best, most realistic medical docudrama on television. These doctors — heroes actually — make other, similar shows seem like a childish game of Operation.
The U.S. women’s soccer team faces Canada in the semifinals, and the winner of that game will face either France or Japan — yes, the same Japanese team that thwarted the Americans at last year’s World Cup — in the gold-medal game. It’s unlikely that NBC will tape-delay the entire game in primetime, so tune in for it live at 2:45 p.m. ET.
FRIDAY, AUG. 10
The Bourne Legacy out in theaters
Olympics Primetime: Women’s 4×100 relay and men’s 4×400 relay finals, NBC
Finally, Jeremy Renner’s got his own blockbuster vehicle. After driving shotgun in Mission: Impossible—Ghost Protocol and squeezing in to the back seat for The Avengers, the two-time Oscar nominee takes the wheel from Matt Damon in this unique “sideboot” of the Bourne franchise. “You think Jason Bourne was the whole story?” says a bad dude in the trailer. “There’s a lot more going on here!”
Olympic relays are high-stakes affairs, especially since American women sprinters have an infamous reputation for dropping the baton. In the men’s 4×400, medical marvel Oscar Pistorius, who lost his own legs and runs on prosthetic blades, will compete for South Africa.
Jeff Ross Roasts America, Comedy Central, 11 p.m.
Olympics Primetime: Men’s 50K walk, 4 a.m. ET
Somehow, Jeff Ross has made insulting people to their faces a noble deed. As the Roastmaster General, he produces many of the Comedy Central roasts that help pay for many celebrities’ continued addictions. On Saturday, he sets the mood for Sunday night’s ritual tar-and-feathering of Roseanne with this one-hour special documenting his cross-country tour.
On the Olympic front, I’m calling you out, posers. You think you’re an Olympic fan? But just how committed are you? Wake up early to see a stampede of skinny men wiggle for 50 kilometers as if they’re racing for the last Porta-John in London. Watch this whole race and earn the right to light the torch in Rio 2016.
SUNDAY, AUG. 12
Olympics Primetime: Closing ceremonies and men’s basketball final
Will the Spice Girls reunite for the closing ceremonies, book-ending the Games with the Beckhams? Will One Direction, Pink Floyd, Annie Lennox, The Clash, George Michael, and Russell Brand perform? Will the Queen bungee-jump from Big Ben?
More importantly on these shores, will America’s NBA stars be smiling as they take their final Olympic stadium bows? LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, and the rest of the undefeated American have already been tested, nearly losing to Lithuania (population: 3.2 million). On Sunday morning at 10 a.m. ET, they’d better be playing for — and winning — gold or an entire nation will welcome its hoops squad like the city of Cleveland greeted the Miami Heat.
The end, or so we’ve been told by a spirited fellow in Times Square, is apparently very much nigh. In fact, Judgment Day is scheduled for May 21, 2011. So unless our calculations our way off, that means we’ve only got 11 days until the Rapture. Aw, maaaaan.
This is a bummer for a number of reasons, besides the whole you and everyone you know and the whole world going out in a blaze of fire and brimstone. Not only will this have made the John Cusack, everything-goes-boom flick 2012 totally pointless and silly (see photo: Not at all implausible scenario of what could have happened a year from now!) but it completely screws up other things on our pop culture agenda. READ FULL STORY
Okay, nostalgia time. When I read that Jane’s Addiction would be returning to Lollapalooza this year, I got a little verklempt. See, it got me thinking back to 1991, the year of the very first Lollapalooza festival, which everyone remembers as the one headlined by the festival’s creator Perry Farrell and his band Jane’s Addiction. But for me, 1991 was the year that alterna-rock/post-punk legends Siouxsie and the Banshees played the mega-fest, breaking into the U.S. mainstream on a bigger platform than ever before. I am among the hugest, most devoted Siouxsie fans on earth, so the Banshees’ participation in that tour was electrifying for me. Too bad I never got to witness their Lollapalooza magic. I did have tickets (of course I did! My sister and I slept outside overnight to get them!), but Sioux lost her voice and the band ended up canceling the two nights that my 16-year-old self would have been going apoplectic at Great Woods in Mansfield, Mass. I had seen the Banshees before Lollapalooza and went on to see them (and The Creatures and Siouxsie solo) many times after, but I never quite got over the heartbreak of missing this historic event. Interviewing Siouxsie with my sis in 1992 on ridiculously made-up credentials, then by myself as a legitimate journalist for a 2004 EW story helped ease the pain — a lot. And I can always console myself with the video below, in which the Banshees perform their 1988 ode to love, "The Last Beat of My Heart," at the ’91 fest. (Note how the adoring crowd goes nuts at the 0:40 mark…right when Siouxsie takes the stage. Aw yeah. Also, love the gypsy head garb, Siouxsie.) Tell me, PopWatchers, what monumental (to you, anyway) pop culture events do you regret missing?
Coachella. Stagecoach. Sasquatch. Bonnaroo. Lollapalooza. Austin City Limits.
Those are the music festivals I attended this summer, PopWatchers, and believe me when I say, those were enough. Completists will notice that I missed Pemberton (during Comic-Con), All Points West (the weekend after Lollapalooza? I don’t think so), Outside Lands (went to Vegas instead), and my first Bumbershoot in three years (couldn’t afford the plane ticket). Nevertheless, I feel like I became something of an expert in the art of festival-living during the summer of 2008, in which I pushed my limits — and the limits of my editors — by enthusiastically throwing myself into a self-issued challenge: Could one girl, armed only with a Nikon and a notebook, singlehandedly revolutionize the art of concert coverage?
Well, no. But I did take a boatload of sweet pictures, meet some lovely new friends (with whom I will never again drive in a golf cart), and experience the full range of human emotions while standing at the feet of musical giants. It was then suggested by a co-worker that I should create my own awards ceremony, honoring the best — and worst — of what I reported here on PopWatch this year. I happily took him up on his genius idea and have thus put together the first-annual Festie Awards, now broadcasting live in gallery form on the front page of EW.com. It’s a good chance to click through some never-before-seen photos of Radiohead, My Morning Jacket, Foo Fighters, Jenny Lewis, and more; plus, I was miraculously able to find video for nearly every single specific moment I wrote about, from the sparkling blanket of lighters stretched across the field during Pearl Jam’s set at Bonnaroo to Perry Farrell’s totally cracked-out introduction to "Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door" in front of a pit full of small children at Kidzapalooza. (Tragically, I still can find no trace of Broken Social Scene’s glorious "Ibi…" from B’roo; will pay, like, a whole dollar for video of that if you’ve got it.)
So go check out the 2008 Festies, watch some video, relive the memories, and then c’mon back here to share with the group: Did you hit any of these festivals? Agree with my conferring of honors? And if you were to hand out trophies from your own personal summer concert season — doesn’t have to be festivals; could just be your local bar band — who would they go to and why?
UPDATE: Whoops. It’s just been brought to my attention that a website called MelodyTrip handed out some “Festies” themselves last year. My bad. Let’s call mine the “Festeez”!
There’s a thunderstorm dripping on downtown Chicago this Monday morning, PopWatchers… and just like that, Lollapalooza is over for another year. Hmm. I said that this scene was like old hat to me. It wasn’t. I haven’t been here before. And after one go at it, there’s no way I’ve got this festival anywhere near figured out, not in the same way the geography of Coachella is burned (literally) into my brain and the happy rhythms of Bonnaroo call to me from far away like the hills of Ireland. No, Lolla is a riddle, a big, hot concrete enigma wrapped in tall buildings that seems to stretch for miles, especially when you’re dashing between stages, and thus do the small essentials of life tend to pass you by. For example, it took me until 7pm Sunday night to figure out how, exactly, to procure food on the grounds. (The food stands are by no means located convenient to any stage at all, unlike the beer, which is located convenient to everything.)
But if I had to go away, at least I went away thrilled, courtesy of Trent Reznor and the big Nine Inch Nails sound and light extravaganza. (Come on. You didn’t honestly think I was going to Kanye, did you? Dude, fool me once, etc.) (Though to be fair I’ve been told he was quite good. Go look at Brooklyn Vegan’s pretty pictures.) NIN put on a polished, veteran, bang-for-your-buck headlining performance that kept me engaged all the way to the encore break, even though I haven’t bought a Reznor album since The Fragile; I’d have stayed longer, but there were photos to edit and a blog thingy here to write and I promised myself that “Head Like a Hole” was to be my exit music, no matter when it came. So after hollering “I’D RATHER DIE! THAN GIVE YOU CONTROL!” a couple dozen times — oh, the horrid things I’ve screamed this weekend, PopWatchers; don’t tell my mom — I hitched a pedicab ride back to the hotel with a nice driver named Tyler. It seems I missed “Hurt.” It was apparently awesome. I believe it.
Things I did not miss today included The National, Nicole Atkins, The Whigs, What Made Milwaukee Famous, Love and Rockets, Flogging Molly, and a very special Kidzapalooza performance from Perry Farrell and his BFF Slash. That’s right, PopWatchers: I have now witnessed Perry Farrell and Slash playing “Jane Says” in front of a pit full of very small children. You’ll want to read on after the jump.
addCredit(“Trent Reznor; Whitney Pastorek/EW.com”)
It’s another glorious, sun-dappled morning in Grant Park, PopWatchers: Lake Michigan is the color of the Caribbean Sea, and I’m sitting at the BMI stage writing to you from a laptop in the grass. Ha Ha Tonka– a band about whom I get an unreasonable amount of press releases– has just wrapped up their set by playing a chipper song about an oscillating fan, then throwing in a celebratory improvisational version of Sufjan Stevens’ “Chicago” with lyrics rearranged to reflect their excitement at getting to see Radiohead and Rage Against the Machine for free. Up next is the alt-country of Wild Sweet Orange, whose We Have Cause To Be Uneasy came in the mail recently and keeps ending up in the CD player at work.
But that’s today, and we’re here to talk about yesterday… but first, I want to talk about Friday again. I’m enjoying the comments on my post about Radiohead, and taking to heart what commenter Rose Tyler said: That those of us who loved their first three albums just need to let it go. I guess those of you who said they answered The U2 Question the minute they put out Kid A are right– this is a band flourishing by doing exactly what they want to do, nothing else. So, like I said. Artistic integrity and all that crap. I applaud it, sleepily.I also applaud last night’s headliners, Rage Against the Machine, and not just because they rocked my face off. There’s an example of a band doing exactly what they’ve always done– playing the hits, and playing them loud, and expending enough energy in a single song to power Radiohead’s entire global-warming-conscious light show– but I think the most important thing they showed last night was maturity, i.e. the sense to know that the situation at the front of the stage was completely out of hand, and they needed to stop playing or people were going to die. The admittedly weak picture above is my shot from a staircase far from the stage where I took refuge after not making it into the photo pit; all it took was 30 seconds of “Testify” for me to realize the photo pit was not a place I wanted to be, and thank my lucky stars for the distance.
Boy, that’s an ominous way to head into the jump, isn’t it? Ah well. Follow me anyway, for Margot and the Nuclear So & Sos, Dr. Dog, Dierks Bentley, Perry Farrell’s DJ set, MGMT, Explosions in the Sky, Okkervil River, and Broken Social Scene…
addCredit(“Rage Against the Machine; Whitney Pastorek/EW.com”)
We were told Grizzly Bear singer/songwriter Edward Droste was a huge fan of EW, so we decided to let him blog his Friday at Lollapalooza– during which he wore a stellar pair of shorts (pictured). Read on! Let the indie goodness wash over you!
Lollapalooza is a hot massive field with as many people as the eye can see. It’s really fun to be at a festival with an urban backdrop, particularly one as spectacular as Chicago’s. We’d been anticipating playing the festival for some time now and luckily got in just in time to catch our friend Yeasayer’s amazing set. They’ve grown so much since I last fall them this past fall in Montreal and imparted some wisdom upon us about "making it big" in England. You need to have "chants" they told us, "the British love chants, it reminds them of football games." I think that makes perfect sense, really.
Unlike Bonnaroo’s dust clouds and Roskilde’s fields of mud, Lollapalooza was a very clean, manageable festival. We wandered around a bit confused, getting our bearings after Yeasayer, trying to shake off our bad night’s sleep (was our first night ever sleeping in the coffin-like beds a sleeper bus has) and eventually we joined forces with our favorite festival friends CSS, who were playing immediately following us on the Citi stage. It’s always funny to see them on tour because they are continually in the best mood and bring the cheer. Lovefoxxx’s outfits continually impress me each time I see her. She must own at least 50 body suits of varying patterns and colors.
addCredit(“Ed Droste; Whitney Pastorek/EW.com”)
Good morning, PopWatchers, and greetings from Grant Park in beautiful, sunny, mothereffing HOT Chicago, where Perry Farrell’s Lollapalooza is now in its fourth year as a stationary object. As those of you who follow this blog are well aware, I’ve visited the majority of America’s large rock n’ roll festivals this summer — Lolla makes 6, to be precise — and I can honestly say I’ve never lost as much water weight as I did yesterday. How a festival held in the middle of a major urban center directly adjacent to a breezy lake with sailboats floating upon it manages to be hotter than the deserts of Coachella is a scientific mystery we’ll ponder later, but for now I’d like to just thank the nice people of the MySpace corporation for giving me a tent and a couch and a place to write up all of Friday’s musical wonderment while listening to the best band you’ve never heard of, Margot and the Nuclear So & Sos, play my favorite song, "Skeleton Key." Life, she is good.
The big headliner for your first day of Paloozaing was Radiohead (led by Thom Yorke, pictured), and your Aunt Whittlz was thrilled. I’d never seen them live before, not in all my many years, and I’d get to start the show in the photo pit, all up and snuggly with the boys from Oxfordshire. They opened strong with "15 Step" and "Airbag," and I was totally digging it, if you’ll excuse the lameness of that expression. But once I got spat out into the field, things turned a bit dodgy. After a long day of schvitzing in the humid Illinois air, the endless quiet arpeggios of their Kid A/Amnesiac/Hail to the Thief/In Rainbows period lulled me into a state of half-consciousness, interrupted only by the yakking of drunks wearing free MySpace bandanas. There’s nothing wrong with half-consciousness, per se… but after the jump, we’ll talk a bit about this band’s future, i.e. The U2 Question, and dissect the set a little more closely.
Also in this post’s great beyond: Rogue Wave, Black Keys, Duffy (no, for real), Go! Team, and the band I’ve seen more times this year than one would think possible, Jack White and his Raconteurs. Come along, won’t you?
addCredit(“Thom Yorke; Whitney Pastorek/EW.com”)