The fourth season of Jersey Shore was supposed to be a rollicking fun-time adventure, with the gang returning to their ancestral Italian homeland. Instead, the Florentine misadventure slowly devolved — over 12 memorably event-free episodes — into a relentlessly miserable experiment in Buñuelian anxiety, with the Shore gang trapped in a glorious villa with no one to keep them company except for the people they hate most in the world. READ FULL STORY »
Tag: Jersey Shore (31-40 of 162)
We may live in a world where people put nightingale dung on their faces and let flesh-eating fish nip at their toes, but it still sounded like the Internet was playing a trick on Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi when she revealed her latest beauty secret on Conan last night. In her new book, Jersey Shore‘s favorite guidette mentioned that she likes to save money on her beauty regimen by Googling DIY treatments.
The latest and greatest, Snooki said, was putting cat litter (“Clean cat litter!” just in case you wondered) on her face. “It’s got exfoliates, they’ve got rocks in there,” she insisted, “It makes your skin really smooth,” and later added, “I haven’t broken out yet!” A ringing endorsement if there ever was one. See her describe the home remedy, plus advise Conan on how to become a guido, below. READ FULL STORY »
Remember back in August, when Abercrombie & Fitch declared that they would pay The Situation money to not wear its clothing on Jersey Shore? We all had a good laugh about it. Then Abercrombie’s stock dropped 9 percent, a fact which made The Situation giggle with malicious glee. But Sitch is not satisfied with seeing his enemies merely defeated. He will not rest until he crushes Abercrombie, and he sees the board of directors driven before him, and he hears the lamentations of their women. Thus, on behalf of MPS Entertainment — a company founded by The Situation and his brother, Marc — lawyers have filed a Florida lawsuit against Abercrombie & Fitch for $4 million. READ FULL STORY »
Boardwalk Empire is the absolute Platonic Ideal of the modern television drama: Lavishly expensive, produced by HBO, created by a writer of The Sopranos, stamped with artistic goodwill by a cinematic icon (Martin Scorsese), featuring elliptical storylines filled with meaningless-and-yet-so-meaningful tangents and just-for-the-hell-of-it soliloquies and brutally sexy violence, all brought to life by a massive cast of theater veterans and big-screen character actors and other generally creative people who don’t mind nudity clauses.
So Boardwalk Empire is the exact polar opposite of Jersey Shore, a show which represents something like the absolute sewer-rat debasement of what used to be called “the documentary art.” READ FULL STORY »
The battle over the 'Jersey Shore' tax credit proves we are in the declining days of the American empire
When it comes to the Battle for the Snooki Subsidy – the $420,000 tax credit that the New Jersey government originally granted to Jersey Shore, which has just been vetoed by Governor Chris Christie — there are no heroes. Not MTV, which made untold millions off the Shore franchise in the last year and a half, but still couldn’t resist a tasty government shakedown for a few measly hundred thousands of weak American dollars. Not the grandstanding politicians, whose mock outrage over such an inessential matter proves once again that the modern American political system is incapable of focusing on actual important things, like a Ritalin-starved fifth grader who keeps getting distracted by his own shoelaces. Not the American public, who care more about half a million dollars misspent on popular drunk idiots than about untold trillions misspent on soulless finance kingpins and endless wars.
In fact, the only people who come off well in all this are the cast members of Jersey Shore. We like to pretend that they are the barbarians at the gate, the horsemen of the apocalypse. But the apocalypse is already here; we are the barbarians. At least the Jersey Shore cast is having fun. They’re like the tannest, drunkest, stupidest violinists left on the Titanic, playing string-quartet interpretations of crap house music while the ship sinks away.
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Politicians are attempting to justify yesterday’s decision to award Jersey Shore a $420,000 tax credit by noting that the show has an economic halo effect. No less an authority than the mayor of Seaside Heights, P. Kenneth Hershey, claims that the series provides an essential boost to the local economy, although to be fair, that “boost” mostly comes in the form of additional shots ordered at Karma and overtime pay for beefy security dudes who have to follow the Jersey Shore cast everywhere. READ FULL STORY »
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