We all like Google Maps, right? And we all like iPhones, right? Well, cousin, I’ve got a big idea for you. And not just any big idea. I’m talking a daring, unlikely, transgressive, high-concept, four-quadrant, gamechanging, universe-denting Big Idea: What if someone put Google Maps… on the iPhone? Stop! Don’t run away! I know it sounds crazy. I know we all love the Apple Maps application, or “Mapple” as it’s called by no one. I know we all love how Apple Maps plots a route from our house to the local movie theater that takes us on a 20-mile detour through a shadowy one-lane mountain road located on the precipice of an active volcano that doesn’t exist. I know that the whole idea of using Google Maps on our iPhone seems like a beautiful fantasy from a better world — a world called Early September 2012. READ FULL STORY
Tag: Apple (11-20 of 41)
Apple announces new MacBook, new iMac, new iPad, and new iPad Mini, all of them so thin and so beautiful and so thin
Two weeks ago, beloved universe-denting tech giant Apple sold its 100 millionth iPad. That might sound impressive. But we all know the sad truth. Around this miserable world, Apple consumers are using their iPads in 100 million different ways — reading books, surfing the internet, playing Angry Birds, playing Angry Birds Space, trying to find the one specific place in their apartment where the Wi-Fi won’t cut out while they use FaceTime, checking Twitter during the presidential debate so they can tweet about how annoying Twitter gets during the presidential debate. And they are all thinking the same thing: “Truly, this iPad is indeed a fine device. But why must it be so grotesquely obese? Would that Apple could create a beautiful new iPad! Would that I could replace this pot-bellied butterball of a tablet with something thin!”
Well, Apple CEO Tim Cook has a message for you. READ FULL STORY
It’s easy to make a snarky joke about Apple Maps, the Google Maps replacement that has single-appedly transformed a nation of happy-go-lucky iPhone users into ravaging hordes who roam the earth like feral dogs and yearn, hopelessly, for death. (See what I mean?)
But it takes real skill to create a unique take on MapGate. And strangely enough, that take was recently posted on MAD Magazine‘s blog.
That’s right: The people who brought you “Smellville” have hit home with the following parody, which reimagines Saul Steinberg’s classic “View of the World from 9th Avenue” New Yorker cover as drawn by Apple Maps. The Mississippi has replaced the Hudson, the Equator is squatting where New Jersey should be, and Wasilla, Alaska appears instead of Washington, DC. It’s a great send-up that gets extra points for being so meticulously composed; check out how similar it is to the original by comparing it to Steinberg’s cover after the jump.
Apple apologizes for decimating the infrastructure of modern society with apocalyptic Maps application
One week ago, dystopian techno-despotic megacorporation Apple effectively stunted the evolution of human society with the introduction of a new operating system — named “iOS 6,” as in “iOS 666,” as in Satan — which replaced beloved cartography system Google Maps with a far more insidious in-house application. Called simply “Maps,” the application was filled with images from a fearsome Bizarro-Earth where Portland was a nature preserve, Europe was accessible on the 405 freeway, and the North American landbridge never sank back into the ocean. A generation of smart phone users — incapable of holding more than two directions in their mind at once — found themselves wandering the streets of our once-great society, hunted, despised, living like animals. Home? We had no home. According to Apple, our home was only accessible by going northeast on a southbound dirt road and taking a left turn at the Yangtze River Valley. READ FULL STORY
While half the country is spending the day winding through centipede-like lines in hopes of nabbing an iPhone 5, a growing number of early adopters of iOS 6 (the software update for iDevices) are online puzzling over‚ or more accurately taking potshots at‚ Apple’s brand new Maps app. A replacement for Google’s stalwart navigation app, which had been included since the introduction of the iPhone in 2007 (and c’mon, it’s the best), Apple decided for unknown reasons to go it alone with their own version. But despite the addition of a cool flyover mode and GPS-style turn-by-turn navigation, the app’s many and mounting hiccups are inspiring users to express outrage‚ in the way we Americans know best — by creating a snarky internet meme!
Apple’s stock closed above $700 for the first time on Tuesday, the day after it announced that orders for its iPhone 5 topped 2 million in the first 24 hours. Shares closed at $701.91 Tuesday, up $2.13 from Monday’s close. They rose as high as $702.33 in afternoon trading Tuesday. The rally in Apple’s stock price puts the company’s market value at $658 billion.
The $700 mark is somewhat of an arbitrary milestone for Apple’s stock, representing little more than a nice round number and a record high trading level. The company, after all, already enjoys the distinction as the world’s most valuable public company ever, at least if one ignores inflation. Google Inc., its Silicon Valley neighbor, saw its stock price surpass $700 in 2007. On Tuesday, Google’s stock was trading at $712.28. But the online search leader’s market capitalization is well below Apple’s at $236.4 billion. READ FULL STORY
Apple introduces iPhone 5, ushering the human race into a brave new utopian era of technological revolution
The history of the human race is filled with brilliant thinkers who dared to dream and small-minded naysayers who said their dream could never come true. They said that Galileo was a godless madman when he proclaimed that the earth circled the sun. They called the Wright Brothers fools for believing that a man could fly. But the great minds of our species will always triumph over adversity. We invented the steam engine. We put a man on the moon. And this morning, in a moment guaranteed to alter the course of human history forever after, Apple announced the creation of the iPhone 5, a landmark new technological device which is slightly taller and slightly skinnier than the last iPhone. READ FULL STORY
The iPhone 5 is no longer just a myth. Beloved utopian super-company Apple has just sent out an invitation beckoning various media professionals to a September 12 event in San Francisco. As reported by CNN, the invitation seems a bit cryptic, featuring only one vague phrase — “It’s almost here” — over a large “12,” to mark the date. But as you can see from the image above, this invitation actually marks a rare non-cryptic moment for the tech giant. The “12” casts a shadow of a “5,” which seems like a relatively straightforward indication that the iPhone 5 will finally hit stores, thus fulfilling centuries of prophecy. Either that, or Apple just wanted to create an homage to that awesome Phantom Menace poster, which was made back when it was possible to write “awesome” and “Phantom Menace” in the same sentence without laughing and then crying. READ FULL STORY
There have been rumors about an impending release date for the iPhone 5 for so long now — basically since Steve Jobs introdcued the iPhone 4 back in June 2010. Last year, everyone was sure that the iPhone 5 was thisclose to hitting stores…until Apple introduced the iPhone 4S instead. (In the tech business, this is referred to as “Pulling a Not Without My Anus.”) So take this with a grain of salt: The enthusiast muckrakers over at iMore claim that Apple is plotting an event on September 12 where it will introduce a next-generation iPhone. That device will, per the rumors, go on sale on September 21. READ FULL STORY
Apple’s latest recruit in their ongoing campaign for the iPhone 4S is none other than director Martin Scorsese. Following in the footsteps of Zooey Deschanel , Samuel L. Jackson and John Malkovich, Scorsese sits in the back of a New York cab and seamlessly utilizes the personal assistant software Siri to reschedule an appointment, locate a friend named ‘Rick’ and also employ a real-time traffic feature to see how bad the traffic is “downtown.” The last feature is rumored to be part of the new iOS 6 system scheduled for release in the fall.
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