Our Olympic Stud of the Day will be hosting Saturday Night Live's 34th season premiere Sept. 13th. (Musical guest Lil Wayne.) My internal monologue upon reading the press release:
- Do the monologue in a Speedo. Do the monologue in a Speedo. (And not that full-body one.)
- Andy Samberg will make a great Ryan Lochte.
- Would Michael be too busy to do something with EW.com?
- Annie and I are going to fight over it.
What was your first-response internal monologue to news of Phelps' hosting duties?
Join me in a splashy round of Paula Abdul seal claps to congratulate OSOTD Matthew Mitcham, who single-handedly thwarted China's much-publicized chance at a diving sweep! Running on a precise power hybrid of solid, focused dives and OVERWHELMING ADORABLENESS, the 20-year-old Aussie struck gold in the men's 10-meter platform finals, tossing goofy "looks like I'm actually in the running, mate!" mugs to the camera all the way. Mitcham, a former world double mini trampoline champion at 15, is the first Australian to declare his homosexuality before going to the Olympics. Cheers queers!
Other studly beasts from Saturday's telecast: Sanya Richards made up for a disappointing solo race to anchor the U.S. women's gold-medal 4x400 relay -- and the U.S. men won, too, setting a new Olympic record. U.S. Women's Basketball trounced Australia in a gold-medal game made most memorable by the Australians' unforgiveable spandex uniforms. Canadian rower and extremely hot man Adam van Koeverden won silver in the K-1 500, after a crushing eighth-place finish in Friday's 1000 that had him profusely apologizing to viewers ("I was a spectator," he said). Oh, and speaking of sitting on your ass in total disbelief, I watched synchronized swimmers and rhythmic gymnasts for hours -- a fun quatra-annual Saturday tradition involving my utter shock that a select group of physiologically advanced humans actually can and do...do that. You know? Why? How? Wow.
I now feel compelled to create an evidential collage of Matthew Mitcham's cuteness -- not our standard operating procedure, but what the hell, it's the weekend and here I am.
Well, that was fun and time-consuming. Co-endorse Mitcham, or nominate your own Olympic Stud of the Day, below!
Now officially the World's Greatest Athlete, Olympic decathlon winner Bryan Clay is also a serious Stud, as you can see by the normal, ripple-tastic press photo we received via email (left) and a gratuitous shot "from behind" (right...oh, so very right) which NBC decided to bestow upon us during the "Bryan Clay At Home" package, so to speak. It kind of looks like he's climbing out of a pool, but Clay is actually holding a javelin there. (Like the World's Greatest Athlete would bother to use the ladder.)
Other studs included Steve Hooker, who picked up Australia's first Beijing track and field gold in the pole vault and is the proud owner of this hair, and the Jamaican sprinters, who set a new world record by three-tenths of a second (HUGE!) in the 4x100-meter relay. Oh and I have to ask: Is anyone buyin' what those McDonald's "Chicken for Breakfast" commercials are sellin'? Because...I might.
Nominate your own Friday, Aug. 22nd Stud of the Day below -- keeping in mind that we'll (SPOILER ALERT) obviously mention Matthew Mitcham, women's basketball, rowing, and anything else that'll be televised today...tomorrow.
U.S. beach volleyball gods Phil "The Thin Beast" Dalhausser and his equally studly partner Todd "The Professor" Rogers annihilated hotshot Brazilian duo Marcio Araujo and Fabio Magalhaes in last night's gold-medal match that ended way past your bedtime. The 6'9" Dalhausser, now officially My Favorite Olympian, totally dominated the final set with three stuff blocks in a row, the most endearing of which was #3 because the ball knocked Fabio (himself nicknamed "Jaws," and this would be why) on the cheek on its way down. YEAH! Stuffed-crust pizza in yo' FACE, Jaws! U.S.A. sweeps the beach! Aside from Dalhausser's clutch finish, the best part of the v-ball telecast might have been the nonchalant manner in which the commentators used the guys' nicknames: "...unfortunately, the Thin Beast isn't getting many serves..." "...Jaws is just getting harpooned by the Thin Beast..." "...now, Karch, what do we think the Professor just said to Jaws up at the net?" And my favorite: "Jaws is upset."
PopWatcher Katja supports my pick -- she aptly labeled Rogers and Dalhausser "both physically and celebratorily studly - did you SEE the adorable man-hug-tackle they shared?" Oh, I did. And may have pretended I was included in it. But, uh, let's move on.
U.S. women's soccer won their final, too! I didn't get to
see it, but Carli Lloyd absolutely deserves triple-co-stud status --
the central midfielder scored the only goal, six minutes into overtime,
in the U.S.' second straight Olympic gold-medal triumph over Brazil. Canadian platform diver Emilie Heymans almost ruined China's 7-for-7 winning streak, but 15-year-old phenom Chen Ruolin kept it alive. If you combined all six of Ruolin's tiny non-splashes over the course of last night's final, they'd make up roughly one substantial ripple. Amazing. U.S. women's water polo took silver, and three Americans -- Mike Day, Donny Robinson, and Jill Kintner -- medaled in yesterday's inaugural BMX finals.
Meanwhile, the U.S. went 1-2-3 in the 400-meter track final. LaShawn Merritt pulled way ahead for the win -- I loved the way he denied, during his post-race interview, having any doubt it was possible to beat teammate Jeremy Wariner by a whole second. Aw hell to the no! And finally, be sure to press play on the video player below to see David Neville's so-ridiculous-you-have-to-see-it-in-slo-mo DIVE across the finish line for the bronze medal. Enjoy!
I accepted my duties as Olympic Stud Finder with the promise that I was going to be professional and choose someone based strictly on talent, without letting muscles cloud my judgment. But then the men's 200m came on. And who wasn't seduced by the line of fast fellas?
Taking my vote for hunkiest of the lot is the American runner Walter Dix, who placed fifth, but was moved up to third after the two runners in second and third places were disqualified. There was something about Dix that caught my eye from the beginning. Maybe it was his sexy shades and his cool 'do, or the fact that the announcer kept calling him a "gamer," but he was no Usain Bolt -- the event's record-breaking gold medalist and
reigning showboat. He handled the bronze medal news with grace and good sportsmanship, giving a glum smile and saying "I still lost," to his manager. Well, we have a first place finish for you, Walt, and your pickup line, "I'm not the world's fastest man," sounds way better than Bolt's.
My silver and bronze medals for yesterday's games go to the ladies. You couldn't help but feel that ol' red, white, and blue spirit when Misty May and Kerri Walsh won the gold in women's volleyball. At 5'2", I'm already jealous of these leggy glamazons, but playing in a torrential downpour? In white bikinis? They pulled it off with out looking like runner-ups in a wet t-shirt contest.
I had to give Haley Ishimatsu a mention and a big ol' virtual hug! My heart broke while watching her try oh-so-hard to keep her composure after not making the women's 10M diving finals. Her sniffles turned into the kind of awkward public sobbing and choking that only happens at the worst times -- like when you're being interviewed about the most gigantic loss you've ever suffered...
Now it's your turn! Nominate your own Olympic Stud of the Day* — or second ours — below. (Then click here to check out our winning Studs from the last few days in Beijing.)
* Not just a man or woman who turns us on. (Necessarily.)
I had to -- they rhyme! And, of course, both Americans won gold. Dawn Harper (left) staged a huuuuuge upset over fashionably bespectacled U.S. teammate LoLo Jones in the 100-meter hurdles -- a win seemingly most shocking to Dawn herself. Mentor Jackie Joyner-Kersee's words of encouragement to Dawn (via email) rang especially true: "It's anyone's race on that day." But, aggggghhhh, that footage of Jones (possible long-lost sister of Rashida?) taking a private moment against the stadium wall, with only her crushed dreams and a herd of camera crews to keep her company, damn near broke my heart. I almost wanted to give her Stud distinction just for holding it together for a post-race interview ("I could feel the gold around my neck!")
Meanwhile, gymnast/dynamite stick Shawn Johnson (right; nicknamed "Minnie Mouse" by the Chinese) finally earned a gold of her own -- in the individual balance beam final -- to add to her three silvers from Beijing. I'm not sure what made me cry harder -- watching Shawn's parents' weepy embrace in the stands, or the ever-composed Shawn herself during the national anthem. I seriously don't understand how these impossible creatures don't totally lose it as a song plays JUST FOR THEM in front of the WORLD. Why am I crying and they're not?! The question only makes me cry even harder, every time. This, friends, is why I am Not Olympic Material.
Honorable mentions abound: Canadian springboard diver (and way hotter version of Gossip Girl's Ed Westwick) Alexandre Despatie picked up a silver last night, which I realized in between obligatory DVR pauses to count the ripples on 4 percent body fat-boaster Troy Dumais' 20-pack. Great Britain track star Christine Ohuruogu astounded fans of U.S. armwarmer queen Sanya Richards by pulling ahead in the straightaway portion of the women's 400-meter final to win gold. 34-year-old Russian cutie Dmitry Sautin endured countless commentator references to his ancientness to (probably) wrap up his own diving career, while the amazing He Chong continued the China-Only streak of gold medals in diving. And I know a lot of you tire of all the volleyball coverage, but as a former 'baller I must geek out for a moment: Indoor setter Linsday Berg absolutely ruled games 4 and 5 of the U.S.' match against Italy, jump-serving aces all over the place and finally utilizing her middle blockers (holla!) to score the U.S. a spot in the quarterfinals -- they'll next face the scary-awesome power attackers from Cuba. And, um, let's talk about chicks, man (chicks, man)... Italian outside hitter Francesca Piccinini: Are. You. Kidding me? (I will be her in another life!)
Oh, and granted it was only the semis, but U.S. runner Wallace Spearmon gets a special shout-out for jokingly wagging his tongue at showboaty Jamaican runner Usain Bolt during their heat. (SPOILER ALERT: This just happened in today's final.)
Nominate your own Olympic Stud of the Day* — or second ours — below. (Then click here to check out our winning Studs from the previous days in Beijing.)
* Not just a man or woman who turns us on. (Necessarily.)
One of the Studliest things I've ever read about is Mercury astronaut Gordon Cooper falling asleep on the launch pad while awaiting liftoff. Therefore, it should be no surprise that my Stud of the Day is Russia's princess of the pole vault, two-time Olympic gold medalist Yelena Isinbayeva. She didn't even have to compete until the bar rose to 15' 5" — how common are those free passes in the Olympics? — so she just reclined right there in the infield. When she finally joined the competition, she not only clinched her second gold medal, she also set her 24th world record. And she did it all while wearing black nail polish, which I love. (Special shout-out to American beach volleyball player Kerri Walsh, whose black nail polish I've admired many times during close-ups of her blocking. Look for Walsh and partner Misty May-Treanor to be Studded when they win their second gold.)
Now, of course, Isinbayeva would like to make the jump to Hollywood, with a "small but important role." We think she'll need more than three attempts at that. But then again, she would look great next to Jean-Claude Van Damme...
Nominate your own Olympic Stud of the Day* — or second ours — below. (Then click here to check out our winning Studs from the previous days in Beijing.)
* Not just a man or woman who turns us on. (Necessarily.)
I remember hearing once that some Olympians will go into a depression after the Games. Why? After finally achieving their goals, they can't escape the overwhelming sense of what now? I wonder if viewers can experience that, too... I've spent so many hours watching swimming in the last week that when I go to turn off the air conditioner in the wall just above my bed in the morning, my right arm actually swings around to tap the off button as if I were finishing the 100M free. Though NBC did its best to keep the feel-good Phelps-story alive on Sunday (I'm convinced the network will now track down the kids who bullied him when he was younger), I was definitely feeling a bit of a letdown.
The equestrian team jumping event, aired in the afternoon, provided a few awe-inspiring moments — how high are those jumps and how awesome is it that Brazil's Rodrigo Pessoa rides a horse named Rufus? But it was as though the evening broadcast wanted to break my spirit. Two of the favorites on the men's floor, Romania's hunky Marian Dragulescu and Brazil's inconsolable Diego Hypolito, sat down. Alicia Sacramone finished fourth on the vault (cue uncomfortable scoring rant by Bela Karolyi). Alexander Artemev fell off the pommel horse and ended his fairytale. Shawn Johnson took silver on floor (okay, that's not so bad), and China's Cheng Fei left the mat in tears. Over at the Bird's Nest, native Kenyan Bernard Lagat, now competing for the U.S., didn't even make into the 1500M final, and China's 110M hurdler/hero Liu Xiang had to withdrawal with an injury.
Luckily, I got a morale-boost from 21-year-old sprinter Shelly-Ann Fraser (pictured), who led a Jamaican sweep in the 100M and celebrated accordingly. It looked like she passed out, but no, she just collapsed with her back on the track, put the flag over her face, and kicked her feet in the air. After so much heartbreak, it was nice to see pure joy. (See also: China's men's badminton champ, Lin Dan, a.k.a. "Super Dan" to Bob Costas, who threw his racket and sneakers into the stands when he took gold.)
Now it's your turn: Nominate your own Olympic Stud of the Day* — or second ours — below. (Then click here to check out our winning Studs from the previous days in Beijing.)
* Not just a man or woman who turns us on. (Necessarily.)
There's no better pick-up line than "Hey baby, you ever been with the World's Fastest Man?" After breezing past the competition in yesterday's 100M final, gold medal finisher Usain Bolt of Jamaica has earned the right to use that line. The 21-year-old "Lightning" Bolt was already the world record holder in the event when he smashed it again in a record 9.69 seconds.
Back in college, a friend and I coined the term "dutch section" for any group of hotties that were together in one space. Beijing's Bird's Nest was clearly the dutch section of the Olympics. Bolt, who is himself more than six feet of lean muscle, beat out other studly contenders Walter Dix of the US, top collegiate sprinter Richard Thompson of Trinidad and Tobago, and former world record holder Asafa Powell, also of Jamaica.
Bolt's jubilant victory lap and triumphant wave of the Jamaican flag has edged out Cool Runnings as the best Olympics-related moment for the country.
Now it's your turn: Nominate your own Olympic Stud of the Day* — or second ours — below. (Then click here to check out our winning Studs from the previous days in Beijing.)
* Not just a man or woman who turns us on. (Necessarily.)
We knew this day was coming. We held out as long as we could (honest!), but who else could be our Olympic Stud of the Day but the unstoppable Michael Phelps? The 23-year-old human fish not only captured his seventh gold medal in the 100M butterfly, tying Mark Spitz's 36-year-old record for most golds won in a single Olympiad, but Phelps did it by the narrowest margin possible — one one hundredth of a second. The race was so infinitesimally close, that if it weren't for the electronic touch pads fixed to the pool wall, no one would have believed Phelps had finished first. (His own mother was waving two fingers signaling a silver medal finish.)
What made his seventh win even more jaw dropping (and believe me, my jaw dropped), was the fact that at the turn he was seventh out of eight swimmers. He made up significant ground (or would it be water?) in the final seconds, but when frontrunner Milorad Cavic of Serbia reached for the wall while Phelps was in the midst of his final half stroke, it looked as though the University of Michigan student's dream of eight gold medals was done for. But this is Michael Phelps we're talking about. The phenom inexplicably managed to circle his beanstalk arms around and touch the wall just before Cavic could glide to victory. Races just don't get better — or closer — than that. Phelps will have the chance to best his and Spitz's record tomorrow as he swims his last race, the butterfly leg of the 4 x 100M medley relay. Whether he wins or loses, Phelps has accomplished something only one other person in history can say he's done. And in my book, that's pretty neat.
Honorable mentions: Though Phelps stood atop the medal podium, it was the tall, dark, and dreamy silver place finisher Cavic and blond bronze medalist Andrew Lauterstein of Australia who held my attention. Meanwhile, another swimmer, 41-year-old mom Dara Torres, deserves props for halting the start of her 50M heat until a fellow competitor could slink into a new suit after hers ripped. And on the track, Jamaica's Usain Bolt ran his quarter final 100M dash in a speedy 9.92 seconds but made it look as though it required no more energy or concentration than a Sunday afternoon jog through Central Park.
Now it's your turn: Nominate your own Olympic Stud of the Day* — or second ours — below. (Then click here to check out our winning Studs from the previous days in Beijing.)
* Not just a man or woman who turns us on. (Necessarily.)
