How do you handle 'Sleeping Beauty' and other fairy tales with young girls?

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Becca Wed, Feb 18, 2009 at 05:09 PM EST

I understand your concern. I have a friend whose daughter is four years old and is really into Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel, and other princess stories. She does worry me just a little bit. Her play focuses on the beauty and romance parts of the the story lines, and she pretends that she is attracting a prince with her beautiful voice. She has already learned exactly how to flirt. However, I do think that all of this has a lot more to do with the way that her family treats her than on just the Disney movies she watches. (She is kind of treated like a princess and I've often heard her mother say, "I love you. You are so beautiful." I'm sure the kid hears it as, "I love you because you are so beautiful." It is always the first thing people say to her because she has these amazing eyes.

I think you've just got to go by your situation. I don't think that my friend's daughter should be watching those movies, but I watched them as a kid, with no permanent damage (i think).

Jessica Tue, Feb 3, 2009 at 03:03 AM EST

Oh! And Mulan of course :) Also, I remember when I was a little girl I was fascinated by the A&E miniseries of Pride & Prejudice (the one with Colin Firth.) It's got the dancing and dresses and romance, but talk about strong female characters, I think Elizabeth Bennett takes the cake... and Darcy certainly proves to be a prince for far more important reasons than being rich and handsome. And Lydia looks like a moron for running off and eloping and having to be rescued... good messages all around haha! I don't think many seven year olds read Austen, but the movies translate pretty well.

Jessica Tue, Feb 3, 2009 at 02:59 AM EST

I grew up on a mix of the old and the new "princess" movies, and I think all told pop culture has a pretty good selection of stronger heroines to be had - especially in newer kids stories (for example the girls in Harry Potter - they're smart/talented/athletic/powerful with magic, etc. on top of being cute). I agree that buffy is a good selection too, haha. But even the later disney girls like Ariel, Belle, Jasmine, Meg, Pocahontas... they were all fairly empowered and not vapid for the most part! (You could even make an argument for Nala being a powerful female character, although it's a reach because I don't know that many little girls aspire to be lionesses. lol) She'll be fine as long as no one treats her like a spoiled, stupid princess and makes the expectations for her to be well-rounded clear. The fact that you're already thinking through issues like this bodes well for her :)

Jael Mon, Oct 13, 2008 at 10:18 AM EST

This is going to sound ridiculous, but what clued child me in to the make believe idealization of these movies was that all the princesses were blonde and the witches were brunettes. (I hated Snow White, so I never included her.) Brunette child me knew that was crap, so I assumed the princess life was not for me. Now I'm 25, college educated, and happily married to a wonderful man who would never pass as a Disney prince.

wryly Sat, Oct 11, 2008 at 08:43 AM EST

I remember watching "Peter Pan" with my nephew (we are American Indian)when it came out on VHS.
The thing I remember most is the look on his face during the scene where they're singing "Why is the Red Man Red". This kid had totally mastered the WTF??? look - and he wasn't even 2 years old.
He's in his teens now. He's turned out mostly ok - and the problems he encountered were caused by poor choices not by some movie he watched when he was a kid.

LisaMama Wed, Oct 8, 2008 at 05:28 PM EST

I also have to emphasize what others have said -- the men and women in a child's life have a much greater influence on that child than any fiction character will ever have!

LisaMama Wed, Oct 8, 2008 at 05:25 PM EST

I have 2 young sons and 2 young nieces, and it is something to think about. I think it's important to balance the vapid princesses with more empowered role models (Beauty from Beauty and The Beast when she's little, Buffy when she's older, for example). I also say things like "that's a good make-believe movie. What do you think a real prince/boyfriend/husband is like?" And then I emphasis that a real, good man loves a woman for her heart, her brains, her laugh, etc - not her looks. I guess point is to talk about with your niece and not worry too much, and feed her a steady diet of Buffy when she's old enough!

Raven_Moon Wed, Oct 8, 2008 at 04:31 PM EST

I can only speak from my own experience because I don't have any children, but when I was a kid I watched this and other Disney films like it over & over & when I got into my teenage years I was a free-thinking, independent feminist, not resembling anyone on "The Bachelor." The only damage these films & every romantic comedy/drama I've watched since did to me, was make me think every woman who wanted one, deserved her own Prince Charming-like man. I know these things are unrealistic, but for some reason I still believe it. So, what I'm saying is show her these movies & let her enjoy them, but educate her, which I'm sure you would, anyway, as well. I think you just have to provide balance.

Anne Marie Wed, Oct 8, 2008 at 12:48 PM EST

Sleeping Beauty was one of my favorite movies growing up, but Aurora wasn't my favorite princess. I always thought she was kind of lame, but Maleficent was such a cool villain, and Prince Phillip was dreamy. My four-year-old niece LOVES Disney Princesses, and the women in my family share the same concerns as Mandi. I think it's important to talk about these films and challenged them a bit. My family raised me to be a strong and independent person, and I think family influence can trump what we see growing up on TV. Also, Disney is doing a much better job with their latest generation of films. Belle from Beauty and the Beast is certainly a good role model.

to Rich Wed, Oct 8, 2008 at 11:48 AM EST

Awesome!! Too funny

Moo Wed, Oct 8, 2008 at 10:24 AM EST

I grew up watching Disney princesses and loved every film. Now that I'm older and have many neices, I encourage them to watch films don't follow the formula of beautiful girls needing to be rescued by handsome guys. I especially love the movies from Hayao Miyazaki and my neice AND nephew love My Neighbor Totoro, Kiki's Delivery Service, Spirited Away and Howl's Moving Castle. In these movies, the girls are the heroes and it's their imaginations, skill, belief and love in oneself and those around them that gets them through the hard times. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a princess but with all things, it should be balanced.

Meghan Wed, Oct 8, 2008 at 09:34 AM EST

I don't think you'd have to do much. So long as you balance every Aurora with a Mulan or Belle, things work themselves out.

Amanda Wed, Oct 8, 2008 at 09:19 AM EST

LIke with any kind of media, you have to balance and be able to talk about it. The Disney movies are classic and they usually have wonderful messages about life and love. But they also set up an impossible ideal and often display negative images of women. Did you also notice that Sleeping Beauty has only a handful of lines and spends the rest of the movie singing/looking pretty while everyone around her talks? All she does is sleep and clean! Then again, little girls should be able to be little girls for awhile...whether they're princesses or pirates. So, parents just need to aware of the influences and make sure she gets the princess balanced by Dora the Explorer or something.

tricia Wed, Oct 8, 2008 at 08:43 AM EST

As a mother of a soon to be 12 yr old girl - who loves Ariel, Belle and Cinderella - she is an extremely confident and independent daughter - and I would hope that the independence many of the "princesses" show in their movies were part of the influence on my daugther.

That said, we had more issues with defiance in the movies. Ariel disobeys her father thinking she is right and he must be wrong. It all turns out in the end as a happily ever after with no consequences. Now that my daughter is older, I see her analyzing the movies in that way - coming to me a couple of weeks ago to tell me how bad it was that Ariel didn't listen to her dad!

Nicole Wed, Oct 8, 2008 at 08:20 AM EST

I say balance Cinderella, SLeeping Beauty and Snow White (which were products of their times), with the new more empowered "princesses" Belle, who not only is beautifule but loves to read, and Mulan, who helps save a country.

elaine Wed, Oct 8, 2008 at 07:42 AM EST

definitely overthinking it...sleeping beauty and cinderella were my favorite movies and i never got any "deep" messages when i was five...however...i was scared to death of malificent...she is truly one of the scariest villians ever created...much creepier than any of the other disney villians...

Melissa Wed, Oct 8, 2008 at 06:28 AM EST

Let me preface this by saying, I watched this movie all the time as a kid from a ratty VHS copy taped off the disney channel, and rushed out to buy the DVD yesterday, ok. . . Not to sound like a super egghead, but when you look at the original stories (i.e. versions by the likes of the brothers Grimm etc.) Fairy tales tend to be mysoginistic, violent, and full of sexual over tones, so the disney versions are toned down, but that is the history from which they come. Most "fairy tales" began as cautionary folk tales about female power (witches etc) and sexuality (pure, beuatiful maidens). Yeah, all the princess movies are too looks oriented, but the fact is they can only do the damage a caregiver allows. If you teach the young girls in your life to love themselves, a little exposure to some shallow cartoons isn't going to hurt too much. I watched disney movies and played with barbies and I'm fine. Let's just love the little girls in our lives, so they can love themselves as they grow up

blah Wed, Oct 8, 2008 at 04:55 AM EST

My parents didn't care much about the disney movies, so I watched them with abandon. They were overly concerned with movies involving sex. So OF COURSE I was overly curious about it. Yeah... smart move.

I'm far more concerned about future kids growing up in sexually repressed households and then starting their promiscuous years at 15 like I did, than whether or not they think a prince will save them.

Kurt Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 11:11 PM EST

Is this really a topic people are concerned about? It's an animated fairy tale from the 50s that takes place in medieval times. I don't think there's a lot of social commentary there. My sisters watched it all the time growing up (ALL THE TIME) and it's now one of my daughter's favorite movies. My sisters grew up fine, and hopefully there are real-world women around who can be role models for your niece (and my daughter), so they won't grow up to be like someone on "The Bachelor", but rather intelligent and independent. If they do end up some entitled, Prince Charming obsessed brat then that's a failure of the parents and supporting role models. Not of Walt Disney.
Relax.

Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 10:25 PM EST

If you are worried about this, just wait until she hits her teens and starts on the Bronte sisters and Austen. Women over the hill at 20. Condescending men who turn out to be wonderful if you are just good enough. Well, I guess we should just throw these on the pyre along with some signing princesses.

Jen80 Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 09:57 PM EST

Also, Juliet was 13 in Romeo and Juliet. No one really minds...it was the custom of the time. I'm just sayin'.

bonash Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 09:53 PM EST

Confession: when I was a little girl, I was terrified of this movie. However, I loved Aurora because she had long blond hair. Cinderella was my 2nd favorite, because she at least had blond hair, even though it was short. Snow White was my least favorite because I thought she was ugly, with her short and dark hair.
Still love Aurora!

Jen80 Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 09:51 PM EST

Good gracious, please don't transfer your own insecurities on to your progeny. First off, kids that age ARE too young to read between the lines; second, I'm assuming that princess stories are not the only entertainment exposure she will be getting; and third, a healthy dose of can-do attitude in every other area of her life will far outweigh one antiquated idea or two from a Disney movie. Let her play with her Barbies, but don't forget to let her play in the mud. It's all about balance.

Samantha Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 09:11 PM EST

I think it is utterly hilarious that the Popwatch writers and readers are getting all stupid about Aurora getting married at 16 in "Sleeping Beauty" yet are foaming at the mouth fangirls over Twilight and it's completely creepy abusive stalker hero, and the nasty messages about age,(OMG!bella's getting OLD at 18!) appearance, (Bella only loves Edward because he's pretty, Edward only likes Bella because she smells good.) and martial pregnancy (Pelvis shattering, spine breaking, Emergency C section via chewing birth to death babies.)that millions of gullible young girls are getting from that book.

yet we are celebrating THAT bs in the post above.

L O freaking L.

Zach Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 08:50 PM EST

Show her Pocahontas. That one has a good message for girls (and please get over the historical inaccuracy, as if anything is accurate in Hollywood). And Beauty and the Beast is fine.

megC Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 08:49 PM EST

Ahahaha, your priorities sound exactly like mine: a healthy dose of Disney followed by some Buffy!

tia77 Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 08:41 PM EST

I love this movie so much and was thrilled to see it coming out again. I too, don't think you have anything to worry about. When I was little, I wanted to be Merryweather. I wanted to work the "good" magic and use it to clean my room. If she has questions, she'll ask. Now go forth and "make it blue!"

jenni t Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 08:34 PM EST

I worried too about exposing my daughter to the whole "a prince will come and save me" idea. I broke down and let her watch Cinderella and she only wants to be the Fairy Godmother. She has no interest in pretending to be Cinderella. She wants all the control. Good for her and yay for me. I must be a great mom! I hope that the encouragement of good qualities like independence will always temper these silly stories of women who need to be rescued by men.

queen of disrepair Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 07:54 PM EST

You tell her this was your favorite and you hope she likes it. You talk about how hard the artists worked to make the story come to life. You read to her different versions of this tale and show a variety of illustrations by different artists. You ask her what she liked best. You ask her if she wants butter on her popcorn. You make one bowl so you have to dig in and share. You wear your pj's and cuddle up in your favoritist afghan or blankie. You let her fall asleep in your arms when the movie is over wbecause sleepovers at Aunt Mandie's mean staying up late and being buddies. Doesn't that sound like a lot more fun than distilling the essence of womanhood through analytical discourse with anyone under the age of 13?

AAR Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 07:14 PM EST

Sleeping Beauty was/is my favorite Disney princess movie. I'm turning 26 next month, and am not ashamed to admit that I'm planning on asking my parents for the new DVD. I also think I turned out fine- I played softball, went to a very good university, and am currently pursuing a PhD in history- so 'Cinderella', if you REALLY want to go there, we can discuss gender theory, but it won't turn out well for you.
As for you, dear Mandi, don't worry, your niece will be fine. I actually like Aurora best because she wasn't raised as a princess, and she and the Prince fell for each other without knowing the other was a royal. Loving people for who they are- pretty good message. Oh, and my other favorite princess- She-Ra, Princess of Power. Show her those as well. I only ask that if you find the DVDs you let us know where!

fiveagainstone Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 06:45 PM EST

Bitter much, Cinderella?

"You turned out to be people who privilege looks above all else,"

So not true. I judge by character.

"who support and produce idiotic "entertainment" like the Bachelor or Rock of Love,"

I wouldn't br caught dead watching those shows.

" who teach little girls, or who believe yourself!, that your most important role is to change those beastly men into princes,"

Men are not Ken dolls. I accept men the way they are.

"YOU have turned into women who remove BONES FROM THEIR FEET in order to fit into Manolo Blahniks."

1) I can't afford Manolos. (Payless works just as well, if not better)
2) I can't fit into Manolos (feet too long and too wide)
3) Manolos are too high (I don't wear heels higher than 2 inches)

In a nutshell, Cindy, take a chill pill or get laid. Not worth getting hyped up over a cartoon.

bootsycolumbia Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 06:22 PM EST

The only advice I'd give as your niece gets older, is to comment on her achievements and intelligence more and her looks less. "What a smart girl you are!" or "Congratulations on your A in math!" will go a long way to building your niece's self-esteem than telling her she looks pretty in her blue dress. As for Sleeping Beauty and the rest of the princess movies, I watched all the Disney movies when I was a kid, but I was also raised by a tough, feminist single mom who taught me to stand up for myself. It's the role models who surround little girls who have a bigger impact on their lives. Moms, dads, aunts, etc who teach them to value their whole selves and not just their looks. Your niece sounds like she's going to be just fine.

mh Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 06:09 PM EST

I'm an eighties baby who grew up watching all the disney movies (Cinderella is probably still an all time fave) and I never once wanted to be the princess... in fact, I even dressed up as Maleficent for Halloween one year. hmmm....I wonder what THAT means in regards to this discussion. lol.

Raven_Moon Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 05:36 PM EST

I can only speak from my own experience because I don't have any children, but when I was a kid I watched this and other Disney films like it over & over & when I got into my teenage years I was a free-thinking, independent feminist, not resembling anyone on "The Bachelor." The only damage these films & every romantic comedy/drama I've watched since did to me, was make me think every woman who wanted one, deserved her own Prince Charming-like man. I know these things are unrealistic, but for some reason I still believe it. So, what I'm saying is show her these movies & let her enjoy them, but educate her, which I'm sure you would, anyway, as well. I think you just have to provide balance.

HKR Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 05:11 PM EST

show her another kind of disney movies, like mulan
os other kind of princesses, like xena the warrior one

Al Fredo Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 05:09 PM EST

"Cinderella" - do not confusion causation and correlation. I am in the large majority of those here who see no detrimental effects of certain children's shows and their ultimate development. Now, you are right that a pretty good chunk of the population is a little messed up. But you would be hard pressed to blame Cinderella, the Wizard of Oz, or a wide variety of other shows for that.

Celimene Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 05:07 PM EST

Whenever I get time with my niece, I make sure to give her a good amount of counterprogramming. Yes, two years ago she asked for a Sleeping Beauty dress for her birthday (she's now 7), but after spending several hours tooling around with the game at "Auntie and Uncle's" place, she now wants "Spore" for Christmas. When she said she wanted to be a hairdresser when she grows up, I pointed out that she's the best student in her class at math, and there wasn't much opportunity to use that cutting hair. She's a very pretty girl, and boys are already fighting over her... but I want her to be proud of the things her mind is capable of as well.

Kat Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 05:06 PM EST

You have to remember that Sleeping Beauty as well as Snow White, Beauty and the Beast and many others are set in the middle ages and at that time it was more than common for a girl to marry at 16. Which is a great opportunity for you to make the past a bit more interesting for your child and help make those wonderful Disney cartoons a history lesson as well!

el Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 04:45 PM EST

Cinderella, get a life and a grip.

Jackie Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 04:35 PM EST

Uh, some people need to calm down - some people who did watch these DID turn out fine. I've watched plenty of princess fairytale movies (sure, mostly Disney), and yes, fine fine, our society "privelages beauty", but if your daughter or niece or granddaughter or YOU think that, or "don't turn out fine", than it WASN'T just because of these Disney movies, was it? There are obviously some other underlying problems or you are just clearly SHALLOW. And/or not very intelligent. I watched plenty of Disney movies, I stopped wanting to be a princess when I was 7, and I don't watch Rock of Love, and sure, I'd like to get married some day.

So seriously, calm down. Let them watch Sleeping Beauty, read Harry Potter, watch Monty Python, read Twilight. They'll. Turn. Out. Fine.

Cinderella Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 04:07 PM EST

Many of you seem to say, "I watched Cinderella and I turned out just fine." or "witches are scary, that's what we should worry about." Are you kidding me?? No, you all did not turn out fine -- you, who make up a large % of our population and determine in large part how our society is run, did not turn out fine at all! You turned out to be people who privilege looks above all else, who support and produce idiotic "entertainment" like the Bachelor or Rock of Love, who teach little girls, or who believe yourself!, that your most important role is to change those beastly men into princes, since it is YOU who is responsible for their beastliness. YOU have turned into women who remove BONES FROM THEIR FEET in order to fit into Manolo Blahniks even when it is clear that you are NOT Cinderella at all. YOU HAVE NOT TURNED OUT FINE AT ALL!! My response? Tell your daughters & sons, "Poor Cinderella --doesn't she know that she doesn't have to be something she's not to find a real prince?"

sb Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 03:51 PM EST

Um, I think she was engaged at birth...which is much more creepy.

Rich Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 03:34 PM EST

Cartoons as role models? "Don't grow up to be like the two-dimensional primary-colored girl in the movie, dear." Give me a break. My favorite character when I was that age was Snoopy. I guess I should be glad I didn't grow up to be a World War I Flying Ace that sleeps on top of his doghouse.

RubyBaby Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 03:33 PM EST

As a Disney-raised child, I was less affected by the dream of "one day my Prince will come" than by their villains. To this day (I will not disclose my age, nooooo), I get a little spooked by Maleficent and the Queen from Snow White. Oh...and keep that Bambi DVD on the shelves until she is little older.

Other commenters are right: your new niece will have lots of positive influences from parents and others, so just let her enjoy these films for all the pretty colors, the animals, the songs...

Your real challenge is to say no to Bratz dolls and keeping her away, until she's about 30!, from the twisted messages contained in, say, Pretty Woman.

kb Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 03:31 PM EST

who really cares?? it's a fairy tale...she's a Disney princess. that's the way it goes. just let little girls enjoy these stories before they're old enough to become cynical about them.

dma69 Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 03:14 PM EST

When I was a kid, the local movie theater showed Disney movies, a different one every week. I was as entertained as any kid can be and I turned out fine. I'd be more worried about kids watching crap like Hannah Montana that teaches kids to be sassy and spoiled. Girls will go through the princess phase, but it's how they're raised that shapes them as people in the long run. If anything, they'll appreciate classic Disney films that were less about merchandising and more about entertaining.

A.Rae Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 03:05 PM EST

You just have to try and focus on complimenting the smart first when you're talking to your girls, and pretty next... I'm also prepping my kids for Maleficent and the dragon, because that scared the poo out of me when I saw this in the theater when I was my daughter's age!

Marty Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 03:00 PM EST

I am a Cinderella fan myself, but also a staunch feminist, yeah, go figure. Yes, I am a mother of a three year old who watches all kinds of movies and shows, age appropriate, of course. These movies are just that, movies, and are not a big deal as long as there are other infulences in your childs life. I was actually more traumatized by Fox & the Hound than any other Disney movie . . . and, of course, watch out for Bambi!!!

Martha Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 02:53 PM EST

I'll echo others' thoughts here and say that I wouldn't worry about it, Mandi. My 5-year-old loves princesses but doesn't think she'll be married at 16 or she doesn't need an education. However, Ceballos is right - Maleficent is one scary-ass villain, so you need to count on a freak-out. And Nanci's right too - you'll be a terrific aunt! I'm putting this video on my daughter's birthday and Christmas wish lists - it looks great. The old version we saw earlier this year was so dingy.

Carol Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 02:52 PM EST

Pick and choose the shows you expose the younglings to. Most current kids shows are fairly modern and generally enlightened in attitude. Dora is independent and adventurous. Kratt's Creatures features a girl as the coordinating brain.

Counterbalance Disney's fairy tales with Barrymore's "Ever After" or Kreuk's "Snow White: The Fairest of Them All" and the like. I hear Yeoh is doing Mulan right, but that's most likely going to be viewing for the Buffy age bracket.

Carol Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 02:51 PM EST

Pick and choose the shows you expose the younglings to. Most current kids shows are fairly modern and generally enlightened in attitude. Dora is independent and adventurous. Kratt's Creatures features a girl as the coordinating brain.

Counterbalance Disney's fairy tales with Barrymore's "Ever After" or Kreuk's "Snow White: The Fairest of Them All" and the like. I hear Yeoh is doing Mulan right, but that's most likely going to be viewing for the Buffy age bracket.

Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 02:50 PM EST

Pick and choose the shows you expose the younglings to. Most current kids shows are fairly modern and generally enlightened in attitude. Dora is independent and adventurous. Kratt's Creatures features a girl as the coordinating brain.

Counterbalance Disney's fairy tales with Barrymore's "Ever After" or Kreuk's "Snow White: The Fairest of Them All" and the like. I hear Yeoh is doing Mulan right, but that's most likely going to be viewing for the Buffy age bracket.

Nancy Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 02:40 PM EST

Mandi, you are going to be a wonderful aunt. You obviously care a lot about this baby, and she's not even here yet! Your young niece is going to look at this movie and think "oooh, pretty dress/hair/girl/animals", and the nuances will be lost on her. That's okay. What will shape her most is what her parents (and awesome aunt) value. However, saying "You know, they make it look like the prince liked her for her beauty, but it's really because she was kind to animals" won't hurt anything.

Winona Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 02:27 PM EST

As the mother of a pop-culture-immersed two-year-old daughter, I often hem and haw over this... but I've realized that she is her own person and will be free to make her own choices - but like Em said above, I will give her a balanced diet of "princesses" and empowered heroines - and absolutely NO Bratz dolls. But I am going to buy Sleeping Beauty on my way home tonight...

vw Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 02:16 PM EST

get a grip Mandi

Anna Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 02:11 PM EST

You can worry when your niece starts asking your pets to do her chores and takes up a spinning wheel. Other than that, I'm sure imagination and fun are just fine.

Em Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 02:10 PM EST

My mother bought me both Disney princess movies and books of fairy tales/modern takes on fairy tales that features extremely strong female protagonists. That way we could balance every sappy Disney-fied tale with weak-ass girls and "Prince Charmings" (some of which ARE entertaining) with tales of female empowerment.

All the princesses I ever idolized carried swords and fought their own battles.

Theresa Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 02:09 PM EST

I'm going to echo the sentiments here. I loved Sleeping Beauty growing up--and I turned out just fine. When you start to over-analyze these things it takes the fun and joy out of it. Your niece can be a beautiful, smart, funny, lovely person. Who she'll be is not dependent on if she likes Disney princess characters. We take so much of kids youth away from them, make them grow up so fast, I think we do a disservice. if you teach her about being a good person, caring for others, caring for the world around her then she'll be fine. let's let kids be kids sometimes. And now I'm going to have to order this again on Amazon (btw, I'd worry more about that dragon scene. freaky!)

doopey Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 02:07 PM EST

Oh please, lighten up. It's a great, classic film. I have three girls who watch Disney films all the time and love to be princesses. I'm not too concerned about how they'll turn out in the future. Their lives are a little more well-rounded than that.

Kai- Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 01:57 PM EST

As a mother of two girls (11 & 13) all I can tell you is that you have to take it as it comes. Both my girls went through the princess phase and now I'm lucky if I can get them to wear anything but jeans. As a parent, especially of girls, you have to make sure what movies, TV, books, magazines, etc... project is not the only voice they hear. I always tell my friends that if I can raise my daughters to have a good self-esteem and a healthy body image, then I've done my job.

Liddy Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 01:57 PM EST

Obviously, our values are much different when this story was written. As a feminist I find it's message revolting, and yet I have strange affection for Disney princess movies, go figure. But it's called a fairy tale for a reason.

A for your niece, as long as this isn't the ONLY movie she ever sees, I think she'll be okay. And don't let her parents spoil the crap out of her, then she won't end up as a dolt on The Bachelor.

Laurie Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 01:53 PM EST

I wanted to be Ariel too to the point that I would take a diving ring, place it around my feet whenever I was in the pool, and try to swim around like I was a mermaid. I also reenacted that scene (too many times) where she pushes herself up on the rock. But I digress... I didn't grow up wanting a fairy tale romance or on reality dating shows. I think you can balance the "fairy tale princess" notion with other animated movies like Mulan and Anastasia where the girl gets to fight for herself. (Although, in Mulan, didn't the guy still do something in the end to save her?)

Marci Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 01:47 PM EST

NOTHING. I watched Disney movies (and played with Barbies) all the time when I was little. In fact, I wanted to BE Ariel (the Little Mermaid). Do you know how I turned out? Just fine. I don't base my self-worth on how beautiful, or thin I am, or on whether or not I "have a man." And if her parents raise her right, neither will your niece. Because it has a lot more to do with parents than it does with movies.

Heather Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 01:46 PM EST

You point out that the movie was done in a different time and about a different time. But putting extra emphasis on "OMG it's going to teach her to want less than she should" is crazy. The people in a little girl OR little boy's life have a far greater influence. If you worry about that movie, read her a story that's a balance to that.

Ceballos Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 01:41 PM EST

Mandi, I feel you may be overthinking this.

I don't have any kids yet, so I can only speak from personal experience. (Yes, I'm a 26-year-old man who is stopping by Best Buy today after work to pick up the second season of "30 Rock"...and "Sleeping Beauty" on DVD.)

When I watched these and other Disney movies as a kid (over and over and over...as you mentioned) I really just paid attention to the songs, the comic relief and the BIG moments in the flick. I never paid any attention to the nuances, such as which gift was given first, and so on.

Then again, they say kids today are smarter than ever, so maybe you're absolutely right to be worried. Still, if I were you, I'd be more focused on dampening any long-term damage Maleficent may have on your niece. Scariest. Disney Villain. Ever.

el Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 01:40 PM EST

I agree with Catherine. My niece (who is three) LOVES princess movies, Cinderella being her favorite, and I can't think of anything I'd rather her be watching at that (or any other) age.

Catherine Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 01:33 PM EST

Nothing. I have watched these movie (in fact Sleeping Beauty was my favorite till I was 10) and turned out just fine (I think). Movies, in themselves, are innocent, It's the overall education that makes a difference.
My opinion is that you say something if the child ask question.
And to be fair, no movies (fairytale or not) will exactly point out the "real" value, ever.