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'Top Model' 11: Feel the love Tyra has for herself

Aug 5, 2008, 10:15 AM | by Annie Barrett

Categories: 'America's Next Top Model', Advertising, Fa-fa-fa-fa-fashion, Magic

Topmodelad_l The first print ad for Cycle 11 (billion) of Top Model has popped up in Vogue, so let's tally up the most significant elements of its absurdity. (Image comes courtesy of Oh No They Didn't via Best Week Ever; you can examine a bigger version of the spectacle, here.)

People looking at the camera: 6
People gazing in awe at different parts of Tyra, even though she definitely wasn't at the same shoot: 3
Girls staring off into space/the giant nacho platters in their dreams: 5 (including Mr. Manuel)
Unfortunate elements of Tyra's outfit: 2,019 (shoes count as 1000 each)
Jays: 2
Sleepers: 2
"Smiling with the eyes": 0
Tattoos that do not appear to be airbrushed: 0
Is the first line of Emerson, Lake & Palmer's "Karn Evil 9" stuck in my head now, for good reason? Oh hell yeah.

Any important categories I missed, P-Dubs?


gia Wed, Sep 17, 2008 at 07:27 PM EST

OMG it has gotten SOOooo cheesy. Imean the whole future thing, then tonite with the whole make over fairy. are u serious? And where is tyra? she dosn't ever go to shoots, unless she is the one, I think she is a hot, fab model, real boobs, real ass, and FAKE personality. LIKE OH my God!!

Gian Mon, Sep 1, 2008 at 06:46 PM EST

I guess u should have thanked tyra for all of her effort in putting up this kind of show...cos without her..you think you would know ANTM?? You think u'll learn that there is such thing as Smile with the eyes?? cmon? wake up!! someone who cannot see beauty on the creations of others...is surely a person who doesnt have inner confidence..and trying to hide his/her insecurities by projectin that to others...Does it hurt>???

Anyway, let us watch the whole episode and start to cast yer votes who you think will be the next top model..

well, for me...i guess..SHEENa will win this cycle..ya know whY? you surely know!! ^_^

Beverley Wed, Aug 6, 2008 at 09:07 AM EST

It's funny that the "stars" of the show, Tyra, J. and Jay the other gay guy who tries so hard to not look hispanic at all, all look absolutely ridiculous. If they want to appear like a "legitimate" show and not just get laughed at, they need to get some better "stars".

Julie Wed, Aug 6, 2008 at 05:58 AM EST

Number of models false-idol worshipping: 6

Number of models who could care less that they're actually in this picture: 7

Marketing companies projected outcome of creating an ad that will increase viewership based on sheer stupidity: PRICELESS

misnix Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 10:54 PM EST

Can you say PHOTOSHOP any louder than that, Ty-Baby? Sorry, you don't look like that anymore - not that it's bad - but if you didn't pretend to be 'model waif' no-one would care. It's because you're ashamed to now be 'plus size' that people are talking. Just be you - and stop concentrating on you so much. Sheesh!

Julie Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 07:08 PM EST

Oh. My. God.

And yesss!! we need some more ANTD up in here!

Pamela Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 04:49 PM EST

I with eventgal...I need some ANTD to counteract the effects of another ANTM go-round. And the ad was in Vogue?(Oh, the irony). Just think how fab the ANTD gals - Explorita, Hellaciouse, Extendrer etc - would look in all their tie-dyed loveliness! Peace and love, y'all.

As for categories missed? No-one could top Womp Womp's most accurate suggestion!

TheOtherOne Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 04:46 PM EST

Is Tyra just incredibly airbrushed, or is that some fantasy portrait as opposed to an actual photo?

LEW Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 03:43 PM EST

Is it me? Or do a lot of these girls look familiar?

Do they have to have a platinum blond pixie-cut girl every cycle?

T-Rex Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 03:09 PM EST

C - I think Tyra is the plus sized model.

Womp Womp Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 01:34 PM EST

Potential models: 0

Snarf Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 01:23 PM EST

No one loves Tyra as much as Tyra.
"I looked in the mirror and who did i see? Me! Me! ME!"

eventgal Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 01:07 PM EST

When are we getting our next installment of America's Next Top Doll? I need some Explorita & Princess Thursday to get me through the work day - it's true, y'all.

ELP Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 12:58 PM EST

"Welcome back my friends,
to the show that never ends..."

Dinosaur Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 12:35 PM EST

Opening lyrics of Karn Evil 9:
Cold and misty morning, I heard a warning borne in the air
About an age of power where no one had an hour to spare,
Where the seeds have withered, silent children shivered, in the cold
Now their faces captured in the lenses of the jackals for gold.

Hmmm.

GOB Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 12:20 PM EST

That font at the top and the overall vibe seems like the designer completely ripped off the current Honda Odyssey mini-van campaign. Are they trying to seduce the soccer moms into watching?

mscisluv Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 11:44 AM EST

In response to this add: holy crap! And Tyra looks so photoshopped, especially her face - yikes! My favorite part is that ANTM advertises in Vogue...as if trying to trick us into believing it has anything to do with the fashion industry. But of course I'll be watching every trashy, ridiculous minute!

Winona Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 11:30 AM EST

Missing the 40th anniversary of the "Summer of Love" by two years: check.
Or perhaps they're going for the 40th anniversary of Woodstock.
Just make sure the models don't take the brown acid.

Elizabeth Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 11:25 AM EST

Unfortunate use of headbands: 10 (sorry Miss Jay, you too!)

Scott Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 11:25 AM EST

Ugh, I hate hippies.

coco Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 11:18 AM EST

I think that you need to ingest some illegal substance in order to get it!
Can't wait for the next season!!! I'm already smmiling with my eyes...LOL

Dave Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 11:14 AM EST

Yeah, my first thought when I looked at that picture was, how the eff did they got Beyonce to pose for that? Followed by, wait, that's Tyra?? On a hot mess scale of 1 to 10, that promo is like a 27. So awesomely bad.

Crystal Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 10:35 AM EST

Success as an ad: 10 of 10. Because there's no way you can see that and forget it AND what it's advertising, so I give kudos. Hilarious. Why?!!

C Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 10:27 AM EST

I don't see any "plus size" models in this photo. Maybe since Whitney won last cycle, Tyra doesn't feel the need to cast any more full-figure beauties.

Tenna Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 10:22 AM EST

Oh, now that is the epitome of hot mess. And all those little darlings better learn how to smile with their eyes soon or we will have to endure 394829348923 more lessons on how to do it. D:

canuck1975 Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 10:21 AM EST

Tyra's been photoshopped to look like Beyonce. Oy.


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