Are you a pop-culture bully?

Em Wed, Jul 16, 2008 at 08:37 PM EST

I hate being bullied into watching/listening/reading anything, so I try not to bully others, but I will admit that I tend to bully my sister, mother, and father, usually by insulting them. I am a terrible person, but seriously, what am I supposed to do when I find them watching Celebrity Apprentice, or paying to go see absolutely terrible movies? Oh, and I made a terrible manhandling mistake with my sister, who told me "I might have liked Arrested Development, if I hadn't already heard you quote every single line thirty or forty times".

Alex Wed, Jul 16, 2008 at 03:40 PM EST

I think there is a sub-group amongst Insulters, who are HBO elitist. I know several people who say, "I don't watch tv, but I do watch HBO." You know, they claim that all the best shows are on HBO, and anything not on that channel is not worth watching. How do you know if you don't watch them??

anonymous Wed, Jul 16, 2008 at 09:39 AM EST

That's funny, the insulter in my life was also "K."

As for me, I have the tendency to respond to situations with, "This is just like that Friends episode!" I guess I'm an accidental manhandler.

Allie Wed, Jul 16, 2008 at 09:36 AM EST

I'm one of those "If you like that, you'll love this" type of manhandlers. Like, if I have a friend that likes crime procedurals but has seen everything on the air, I offer to loan them my "Homicide: Life on the Street" DVDs. I offer once, then don't harrass them, because...and all you pop culture bullies out there, pay attention to the next bit...your efforts to get people to try new things are a lot more successful if you aren't a total jerk.

Movie_Dearest Wed, Jul 16, 2008 at 02:43 AM EST

Dude, you just basically described everyone on the internet.

Mike Wed, Jul 16, 2008 at 02:32 AM EST

I'm probably a lot of both. As EW readers, we're early adopters. People have a fixed amount of leisure time, and I'd rather a friend who seems to enjoy smart media enjoy The Wire or Veronica Mars than Law & Order reruns.

Kath Wed, Jul 16, 2008 at 12:54 AM EST

Shameless pimper here. Confessed. Certifiable. By the way, I heard that Kr- oh, crap, I'm doing it again.

sharon Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 07:04 PM EST

Haha, I agree Sara. Nine times out of ten whenever you have a conversation with anyone who is a fan of Buffy, they'll bring up that episode and proceed to tell you why it's the best thing ever. As if musicals in general didn't exist before.

sara Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 06:55 PM EST

I find Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans to be particularly egregious pop culture bullies. I mean, I love Joss Whedon and Firefly as much as the next girl with a pulse, but for the love of God, could they shut up about the damn musical episode?

Nathan Poitras Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 04:38 PM EST

My friend 'G' makes everybody that comes over to his house watch Hard Candy with Ellen Page. No matter how old they are or what their relation to him is, it's gonna be a Hard Candy night. I like the movie, but I just don't get how he can watch it over and over again like that.

RedAngel Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 04:25 PM EST

My friends and I are mellow manhandlers...we're always burning copies of our CDs that we think another person might like, or sending links to YouTube clips over e-mail to each other. No one ever really presses the issue. I do have a few friends that try to do the insulting thing, but I manage to get in some jabs about the guilty pleasures they think I don't know about. That shuts them up pretty quickly.

Raven_Moon Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 04:03 PM EST

My brother is definitely an insulter. Every time I watch Scrubs he says, "Why are you watching that? It's so stupid." This coming from a guy who thinks wrestling is real. I'm a bit of a manhandler, but a polite one. I made a friend watch Scrubs, Wes Anderson's movies, Garden State Donnie Darko & Arrested Development and she thanked me for it.

Jeanne Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 03:52 PM EST

I'm definitely a correcter, but I get enabled in that regard because family members are always calling me to ask who did what and when. I've made a concerted effort to cut down on my Insulter tendencies over the past few years, mainly because I've gotten sucked into far too many reality shows to be in a position to criticize anyone.

brandi Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 03:29 PM EST

I would put myself in the "corrector" category as well. It drives me absolutely crazy when people get their pop-culture information incorrect. I will pull out the iPhone and correct them everytime.

Minutiae Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 03:11 PM EST

One of my best friends married a jackass who was both an insulter AND a manhandler. The problem was that his fixation tended to be on movies and 80's power metal music. I swear if I had to hear about the greatness of Iron Maiden and how every modern hard rock/metal band I liked sucked ONE MORE TIME, I was going to strangle him. My friend started wanting to do everything as "couples" with my husband. Needless to say, we're not really friends anymore

Warda Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 02:47 PM EST

The insulting types make me want to bang my head into a wall. Check that. They make me want to bang THEIR heads into a wall. Maybe I need new friends or something, but I know way too many people that have nothing better to do than to tell me that things I like suck (mostly music rather than tv choices, but it's the same idea). I've even met a few misguided individuals who like to point out that so-and-so (usually someone they regard as a low life, if not actually a mass murderer) likes the same musician/tv show that I do, which therefore makes me a bad person as well. At least Tori Amos felt relatively confident that her ex didn't leave her merely because she "and Charles Manson like the same ice cream," unlike some people who definitely would. Yeah, go ahead, knock me for liking Tori Amos...

michelle Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 02:20 PM EST

oh, I'm definitly an insulter, but only about certain things. whenever I go over to someone's house I scan their dvd collection for Family Guy, and if it's there I launch into a lecture on why The Simpsons is superior and why that person and I can not be friends. honestly, I have said this to people I JUST met.
perhaps this is why I don't have more friends...

Katatonic Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 02:10 PM EST

I'm totally both a manhandler and an insulter! I force my friends to watch The Office, 30 Rock, How I Met Your Mother, and (the dvd's of) Arrested Development all the time. Then when I go and insult their love for whatever it is I don't think is up to par, we tend to have an epic battle, sometimes with an audience!

Adam Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 02:07 PM EST

Great article. I know exactly what you mean with the mandhandlers. My college roommate was just like "D"! Crazy...

rls Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 01:55 PM EST

I continually insult one of my friends for DVR-ing reruns of Beverly Hills, 90210. I say to her: the DVR should be use for good, not evil.

Liddy Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 01:50 PM EST

Yikes, I've just realized I may be both. My usual screening process for friends is 1) Are they Big Lebowski fans? 2) Are they Arrested Development fans? If yes to one or the other, we'll get along just fine.

Krista Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 01:40 PM EST

Oh crap. I'm totally a manhandler. Whoops. And I definitely have my Insulter moments.

Angel Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 01:27 PM EST

I think I might be a PCB- but it might be okay as most of the time I'm trying to force people to realize how awesome Battlestar Galactica, Dr. Who and Hot Rod really are. Without a little push, you might miss all that joy!

Anne Marie Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 12:57 PM EST

To Nose - you are so right. I had a roommate in college that was so condescending about us having a TV. She refused to pay her part of the cable even though she watched the news (we were in the middle of nowhere and only got local news from antenna). I would get livid when she would sit down and say, what's happening on ER? Amazing Onion article on the subject - http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28694

Anne Marie Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 12:50 PM EST

I'd like to think I'm not a PBC, but I'm probably guilty of charge #1. I try not to criticize other's tastes because I have such eclectic tastes myself. My boyfriend made fun of me a few months ago for DVRing Masterpiece theater and Rock of Love on the same night. I'm more likely to yell at someone for NOT liking something, but it's definitely on a case by case basis. For example, I wouldn't criticize someone for not liking Real World/Road Rules Challenge, Ghost Hunters, or Girls Next Door because I get that bad reality shows aren't everyone's cup of tea; however, if you don't like 30 Rock, then we're gonna have words! I recall telling numerous people to just give Arrested Development a chance -- you'll start to get the inside jokes!

Ep Sato Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 12:41 PM EST

I'm a passive aggressive pop culture bully. Unable to sway the opinions of the people I know in person, I spend my time here ragging on the very writers who inform me about all the latest in pop culture all the while alienating my fellow readers.

Now that I've admitted to my problem, does it mean I get sent to "pop culture bully" rehab? Or just a well deserved beat down by my fellow readers?

Rahul Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 12:36 PM EST

Guilty on both of these from time to time. I blame this magazine in part.

Strepsi Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 12:32 PM EST

The most egregious Insulter I ever knew was an otherwise peace-and-rainbows hippie in college, who actually shouted at a girl: "Lenyrd Skynyrd is WAY better than Crosby Stills Nash and Young! BE OBJECTIVE!!!!"

BOTR Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 12:26 PM EST

I'm in no way a pop-culture bully. Ever since I had a person actually stop talking to me because of my taste in music and TV, I keep what I like quiet but only in real life; I'm not shy about it online.

Dallas Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 12:24 PM EST

Haha. Oh, "D". Quality. Excellent writing, Amy. It's really exciting to see people I know writing in such accessible forums. "D" sent me the link to the article saying, "I wonder whom she could be referring to…." I love it. Don't know if you had much interaction with the "A" type of PCB, he would probably fit into the latter category. Keep the sharp, poignant, thought-provoking articles coming.

flightjkt Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 11:54 AM EST

I am a former PCB, now currently in recovery (though my posting a comment shows that I have a lot to work on).

One of the many things that made "Seinfeld" such a great show was their use of this phenomenon to poke fun - Elaine's hatred of "The English Patient," Kramer getting beat up for refusing to wear The Ribbon, etc.

A classic example would be that you can find many people who can't stand Radiohead simply due to their resentment of the Pop Culture Bullying that has taken place for the past 10 years on a massive scale.

I say that as a fan of the band, btw.

aaa Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 11:45 AM EST

I admit, I'm totally an insulter -- but I'm pleading genetics, because my whole family is the same way. We still make fun of my sister for seeing 'Definitely, Maybe' at the movies 6 months ago (I'm buying her the DVD for her birthday next week). So I'm forced to hide my shameful taste in certain VH1 reality shows that will not be named...

Danielle Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 10:35 AM EST

I think I fall into another category of PCB: the Corrector. I constantly correct people on their pop-culture misinformation, and I have to imagine that gets annoying after a while. Doesn't stop me from doing it, though!

escargot Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 10:10 AM EST

I have a different, but related problem. I know lots of useless pop culture trivia, my husband does not, but always turns to me when we're watching something - "What's her name again?" "What else have I seen the guy in?" The problem is that he never remembers what I tell him, then he'll ask me the SAME QUESTION the next time we watch the show, and the next time after that. Constantly! I'll have to admit, sometimes I lie and say I don't know, go look it up on IMDB.

K Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 10:02 AM EST

I definitely fit into a third category of pop culture bully: The Shameless Pimper. People suffering from this complex are much less threatening. They sound more like a never-ending infomercial than a jackass who abuses a YouTube video (although “D--- In A Box” is a fine choice) or insults “bad” shows like their an authority. The Pimpers tirelessly inundate friends and family with information on their favorite shows, movies and musicians and hound them until they start participating in the awesomeness! For example, I was super-excited about the season premiere of “The Closer” last night, so I emailed my friend, who doesn’t watch that much TV, with the channel and time the show premiered. When the show started, I called her to make sure she was watching. Shameless Pimpers are more enthusiastic pests than bullies.

Love entertainment? Check out my blog…The Pop Culture Closet at themediacloset.blogspot.com

See, I can’t stop!

Scott P Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 09:32 AM EST

Wow Vicky, I have to applaud your friend for his taste and boldness, since "Always Sunny" is one of the funniest and least appreciated shows on tv. More power to him!

Vicky Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 09:12 AM EST

My boyfriend's birthday was a couple weekends ago and a friend of mine bought him the dvd set of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." Now mind you, my boyfriend has never watched the show. I heard that my friend was buying this set for everyone at any special occasion just to make people watch one of his favorite shows. If that's not manhandling, then I don't know what is.

Stephanie T. Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 09:11 AM EST

I can't stand people who say that if you know about pop culture, you're not an intellectual. I feel it's best to know all corners of the square, not what's in the middle. Then again, I'm a librarian so what'd you expect?

Nose Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 09:00 AM EST

I detest the people who say, "Only idiots watch (insert show name here)." I also detest the opposite of the PCB, or the "I don't even HAVE a tv" group. So I watch some television. That's really no reason to look down on me. Jerks.

Kristen Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 08:59 AM EST

Funny comment Nix! I'm frequently told my taste in movies, tv, and music sucks, and I don't really care. I just laugh and agree. The only thing I've ever been "bullied" into is listening to music out of my R&B comfort zone- and I've discovered some Rock, Punk, and Country artists I now love. I refused to watch "D--- in a box" though- no one can bully me into having anything to do with Justin TImberlake's career.

Heather Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 08:59 AM EST

My former best friend preferred to call herself elitist instead of an insulter. *g* And really, she didn't so much do the insult thing as just quirk the eyebrows and give a look that let you know that your taste sucked.

Nix Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 08:52 AM EST

But bullying is what comment postings are for. It sucks enough that we have to be, like, pretend nice in real life. At least on the internet we can hate as much as we want to!

BrandonK Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 08:43 AM EST

I suspect Simon Vozick-Levinson falls under the Manhandler category in real life...fortunately I don't have to click on the videos and links he posts here!

Broadway Baby Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 07:43 AM EST

Scott P - lol - as if to prove the point. Anyway, if I don't get bullied I am likely to watch the same things over and over and never expand the horizons from musical theater and variety shows. As long as I can take my friends to see Chicago I can go with them to see Batman.

Scott P Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 07:32 AM EST

So let me see if I have this straight, you didn't find a Chappelle Show skit funny, and D--k in a Box funny until the 5th viewing? And you are writing for EW (well, the website anyways).

That makes a lot of sense. Let me guess, you must REALLY love American Idol and The Hills right?

Snarf Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 06:58 AM EST

I was going to make reference to the many(not so) enlightend trolls that post over on AICN (who apparently do not subscribe to the notion that one man's garbage is another ones pearls) but I see Mack beat me to it.

I'll only go after someone if they're being a complete ass-hat about something. Like the mother upset that a gay male ex-stripper was doing well on American Idol ("how am I supposed to explain this to my 12 year old daughter?") or the goof who suggested Heath Ledger commited suicide over advancing the homosexual agenda in Brokeback Mountain.

The Pope Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 06:54 AM EST

Your Honor,
As to count one of the indictment: guilty as charged.

As for count two, NOT GUILTY (by reason of insanity?)

The Pope Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 06:52 AM EST

Your Honor

Mack Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 05:50 AM EST

Michael Sleaze-suck is the greatest grand fairy PCB of all. :D