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'Indiana Jones 4': Here's your hat, what's your hurry?

May 18, 2008, 12:10 PM | by Lisa Schwarzbaum

Categories: Cannes Film Festival, Indiana Jones

Harrisonford_lUPDATE: Lisa's full review of Indiana Jones 4 is now available here.

IF YOU ARE A PLOT PURIST AND DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS MOVIE, DON'T READ THE FOLLOWING!

It's a measure of the unique panache of the aging guy in the fedora that people started lining up hours ahead in the full midday Cannes sun for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. And in the few moments of silence and dark screen before the Lucasfilm logo appeared, uncontainable devotees in the balcony began singing the famous four-note theme — dahhh-di-duh DAH — that's as much a part of the Indy experience as the expectation of a bullwhip well used.

I felt like singing, too. And I burst out in a laugh of pleasure when Henry Jones II first appears — rumpled, grimy, his gray hair thinning, within sight of his iconic topper but not within reach. (Indy has been kidnapped by Russians posing as U.S. military personnel in the New Mexico desert — long story — and brought to the feet of Cate Blanchett, in rich Natasha Badanov mode as a Soviet mind-control expert in hot pursuit of the title skull.) There's joy and a middle-aged playfulness to the best of Steven Spielberg's unlikely sequel. And I mean that as a full compliment: All the movieman's themes are here, his interests, obsessions, trademark strengths as a cinematic storyteller, and Spielbergian "tells," too, with hubcap and sideview mirror reflections dating back over 35 years to Duel.

Harrison Ford? Terrific — and re-energized after too many recent action roles he has appeared to sourly resent. This older, creakier (but still spry) adventure hero wears his worldly wryness with even greater earned authority. Shia LaBeouf? Inspired, channeling one-half James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause, the other half Spielbergian Everyson.

The "but" that dangles in this instant reaction (a longer, more archaeological review will follow) is that The Crystal Skull threatens at times to crumble under the weight of all the impersonal zigging and zagging loaded on for the sake of special effects. The precious ancient cranium itself — where it came from, how to keep it out of the hands of the Russkies and get it to where it belongs — is of little interest, no matter how many waterfalls loom, monkeys swing, and locks unmesh. The first bravura action sequence is kickass, the 11th or 12th is industrial filler that makes swaths of the two-hour running time drag.

I love Indy, and his long-lost son, and Karen Allen as his rediscovered old flame, Marion Ravenwood, too. As with every Spielberg movie, family psychology drives the story, while skeletons, extraterrestrials, jungle tribesmen, and foreign villains make the most noise. I get the rudimentary, mass-audience political jokes and allusions, from the bomb-shelter-era quaintness of old-style Russkies to the tweedy dean who says, "I barely recognize this country anymore." I also think time has not dulled Indy's survival instincts, but neither has it inspired any risk taking on the part of the franchise owners. This is a 90-minute story pumped up to 123 minutes, not so much on steroids as on Frappuccino, and the chance sing the old four-note tune again.


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ssvs04 Sun, Oct 19, 2008 at 10:53 AM EST

Loved it in the movies and enjoyed more at home watching it twice the 1st week I got it on DVD. Cant wait for one more!

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Ben Mon, Jun 16, 2008 at 03:36 AM EST

Anyone who can say the alien thing was ridiculous must forget how it seemed when people heard what people faces melt from the ark, Or wow there is a man who has been alive for thousands of years guarding the cup, or what they rip his heat our and hes still alive. If dear Indy had anything left to discover it would be proof of aliens i mean seriously. HE IS 65 YRS OLD!!! He's probably discovered everything else already. Indy isnt supposed to be realistic people its fantasy and the fantasy based with mild realism is what made the movies great the fact that hes a professor at a normal school dealing with normal professor problems, then he goes and punches some guy in the face a shoots people to get a dang ark thats what made him great. So the fact that an aging Indy would be the one to discover aliens well come on if not him then who.

Tony Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 08:37 AM EST

VERY DISAPPOINTED!! I feel like my ole action figure Jones has just shot my dreams to Hell in a hand basket!! This movie just don't do that hair tingling sensation you get like his old stuff. And I agree with the most>> ALIENS???? What did they need to do?? Put Star Wars & Indiana Jones in a blender & see what they could get. Boy,I hope there is another one out to make up for this mess up. And hope it is soon!!!!

Mariah Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 11:24 PM EST

i'll admit, im only fourteen, but im a huge indy fan. overall, i really liked this movie. the action was great. although i was concerned that making another movie after finishing the trilogy in the eighties and then coming out with a new one just now would really affect the way people would think of it, i was suprised at how well it was made and how harrison ford proved that he can still be indy even in his sixties. however, the end of the movie kinda dissapointed me when the aliens came in, i mean seriously, if george lucas wanted a sci-fi movie, he could've written another Star Wars.

MYK Thu, May 29, 2008 at 03:08 AM EST

I guess I'm just a purist. And I'd have to agree with a lot of you out there who asked "why did they agree to do this?".

The best part of any Indiana Jones film is the globe-trotting, puzzle-solving race to the finish line to find a piece of HUMAN history. You can accuse any Indy storyline of being convoluted, but at least it felt genuine. Where was that here? Aliens and a spaceship--c'mon!

Indy used to approach these tasks with a bit of reverence for the object for which he was searching. I guess old age has made him arrogant and impatient.

Speaking of impatience, did anyone else feel like this movie was hurried (didn't feel like 123 minutes to me)? Bored I was not. But I was finding myself wishing for a little down time, where they put some of the pieces together.

The family storyline, in my estimation, was perfect; albeit completely obvious. But it was a nice way to "round trip" the franchise.

I hope there's a next time so they can get it right.

andrew Tue, May 27, 2008 at 03:55 PM EST

Well everyone if your a are true fan of the orignal 3 films then i hope for the sake of remembering how great they were when you were a kid and still to this day are we all know weather we admit it or not that indiana jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull was the biggest let down we have ever seen in the theaters. Obvioulsy it didnt let down at the box office, nonethless we hoped it wouldnt happen but CGI! everywhere! ants, monkey's, groundhogs! what! no underlying seriousness and tone that the first 3 had. All i expected was another indiana jones film wich should excite us all greatly, but we didnt get that! We all know that lucas is a sell out but spielberg!? how can this happen to one of the best directors of all time? there is no way ford saw this final cut and serioulsy thought " yeah indiana jones is back" he's not back at all, he didnt even seem like his old self. I know that he is aged, but he is still indiana jones, or at least should be.

Leigh Adams Tue, May 27, 2008 at 08:29 AM EST

I’m a massive Indy fan and a George Lucas forgiver. I admit the latest 3 Star Wars were disappointing (apart from the Final Anakin / Obi-Wan fight) but come on, please George. Does everything have to have Aliens in it? I loved the beginning of the film, the Character introductions and the family reunion. The story became forgive the pun, crystal clear in tem minutes, and I forgave it as there was no chance we were going to have a big Alien finale. How could a whip beat an Alien. I was convinced it wasn’t going to happen, then Pow! A blooming flying saucer and parallel dimension. I know there’s a writers strike on but how come all the great actors in the film let this happen. Alien V’s Predator v’s Indy. Come on please……?!

cybie Mon, May 26, 2008 at 01:54 PM EST

Wow--it wasn't a complete let-down. But is sure isn't the return that was expected. Lucas and Spielberg should have known that Indiana Jones should not tread on "X-files" territory. And why would a guy, twenty-to-thirty years later, still be wearing the exact same outfit? Ford seemed to have difficulty delivering the Jones wit and there were too many times when it seemed as if they were straining to capture the originbal flavor. Overall this film is about as good as "Temple of Doom".

Showtime Mon, May 26, 2008 at 03:49 AM EST

I should have known where the movie was heading when they found the alien sarcophagus and made the references to Roswell. My wife figured out the plot in the first five minutes. Instead I kept watching as Indy dodged more machine gun bullets than 007 and an outrageous sequence of paranormal events took place, eliminating the need for a decent plot or screenwriters with any remote knowledge of history. The truly great Indy movies (Raiders and the Last Crusade) incorporated just enough history to avoid being insulting to one’s intelligence. This movie incorporated just enough Scientology to make me vomit. I have had enough of the big headed aliens who gave us the Pyramids, plumbing and the longer lasting light bulb. It was the Pharaohs, the Romans and Thomas freaking Edison. I realize Indiana Jones is about as realistic as Rambo but this film was ludicrous.

SGentry506 Sat, May 24, 2008 at 09:51 PM EST

Epic Failure

Bob Dole Sat, May 24, 2008 at 04:32 PM EST

*Spoilers:*


Wow...... George Lucas needs to keep his damn star wars off the Indiana Jones franchise... what a let down... its one thing to keep the biblical fantasy aspects, ex. Lost Ark, Last Crusade, but geez, freaking Aliens? What the hell?? And who in the hell COULDN'T see that Shea was gonna end up his son? So much for a good climax. Just another dried up sequel milking out whatever money they can with a poor film.

t Fri, May 23, 2008 at 07:56 PM EST

Indiana Jones Meets Howard The Duck

Bryan Fri, May 23, 2008 at 12:54 PM EST

This movie SUCKED!! 2/4 stars A nuke?! Come On!!!

Dr.Jones Forever! Fri, May 23, 2008 at 12:46 PM EST

If this movie was titled..."The Mummy 4" and it stared Brendan Frazier. I'd have no problem with it and all its over the top cgi crap. But it wasn't....
THEY DROPPED A NUKE ON HIM!!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO JUST FIGHTING A HUGE GUY!?!?!?!

wlf68 Fri, May 23, 2008 at 08:56 AM EST

You people are nuts! The movie is supposed to be fun, it's not up for an academy award. Stop being so damn picky and give it, and them, some credit for doing a pretty decent job. You've got three people here who have provided us with such incredible entertainment in the past and you have to go and bash the hell out of them as soon as they perform slightly below your standards. I guess that's just typical of most spoiled, unappreciative morons. The public sucks!

Fri, May 23, 2008 at 02:35 AM EST

This raped my childhood. Where was the plot? The old awesome action. It felt like a Disney movie to me. I actually shed a tear in this movie.

matt Fri, May 23, 2008 at 12:48 AM EST

This was the worst I have seen from an experienced actor of this caliber, EVER! Why in the world would he want to put his name to this GARBAGE!???!!! I am extremely disappointed!

mike Thu, May 22, 2008 at 11:55 PM EST

This movie was awesome anyone who says different is crazy. Ive always been a diehard Indy fan and it hasnt changed.Whats wrong with aliens?Whats wrong with special effects?Welcome to the 21st century.The person talking about dieing snakes and pulling them in to there body needs to get help by a certifided theripist.

riles Thu, May 22, 2008 at 10:30 PM EST

the alien thing messed this movie up, it was great up until the special effects extravaganza that was the end. the flying saucer was completely stupid. in my opinion the effects were good but unneeded. people like classic indiana jones, not this sci-fi stuff. i think they should've made a movie about the terra cotta soldiers.

Christina Van Allen Thu, May 22, 2008 at 07:26 PM EST

This was a waste of time. Aliens? Honestly? It was ridiculous. I'll give it to them though: the car chase and beginning actually drew my attention. As for the aliens...I think we all need to start a petition for Lucas and Spielberg to go to rehab.

nico_scaR Thu, May 22, 2008 at 06:11 PM EST

The movie is 1000% great! Cinema history once more! When is the next one on ??? ;-) ... Nicos (Athens, Greece)

Jerm Wed, May 21, 2008 at 10:43 AM EST

I went and saw this movie last night and feel pretty neutral on the subject. I grew up with the Indy movies and loved everyone of them. Unfortunatelly this movie, as with so many others in this day and age, fall victim to too much CGI and cheesy dialogue. Case in point all 3 of the new Star Wars films. Lucas, Spielberg, and other directors need to lay off the special effects and let the actors do what they do best... act. In short, "too much filler and not enough meat." Some of the scenarios Dr. Jones gets into are pretty far fetched, even for Indy. It was "fun" movie and I would definitely see it again, but as far as the story and plot are concerned it's a little weak. Not something you would associate with an Indiana Jones movie.

Kb Rai Wed, May 21, 2008 at 04:32 AM EST

SHia's look is inspired by the greatest of the them all - Brando and not Dean.

Jean Tue, May 20, 2008 at 03:59 PM EST

I really couldn't believe Lisa gave this movie a good review as usually her opinion is right on with mine. But I saw this movie last weekend and it's just horrible. I was bored, no one was even trying (except the wonderful Cate Blanchett) and it almost seemed a paradoy of itself. I would say don't bother but of course everyone is going to see it anyway. Do yourself a favor and go to the bargain matinee. That way you'll be far less angry that you spent money on it.

Jeff W. Tue, May 20, 2008 at 06:33 AM EST

"Too much action" is an oxymoron for a summer movie as far as I'm concerned. If I want an in-depth look at The Crystal Skull I'll watch the Sci-Fi Channel special about the real one.

I mean come on! Raiders was one exciting scene after another.

I've caught bits of Doom and Crusade on Sci Fi over the last few days. About as cheesy as I remembered, which just makes me more amped for the new one, if that makes sense. (I figure it'll be at least as good and probably better; Raiders is untouchable.)

Mon, May 19, 2008 at 07:01 PM EST

Indy is the best!

AVJFLIGHT Mon, May 19, 2008 at 06:00 PM EST

I guess the you think there should have been more car chases??? Or rat ta tat tat. Or maybe Karate????

Rizzo Mon, May 19, 2008 at 04:21 PM EST

I went to a screening yesterday and I loved this new version. I was a fan of the original films, way back when they were new in theaters (yes, boys and girls, old people still go to the movies!) This new Indy is exactly what the others were: Fun. And funny, action-packed, eye-popping, with preposterous plots. But who cares? The point is to go and have a good time. The world could certainly use a little fun right now!

Bill Mon, May 19, 2008 at 04:13 PM EST

Hope there's no smoking in this film. The use of the tobacco drug RUINS movies!

vw Mon, May 19, 2008 at 03:41 PM EST

Indiana Jones movies have ALWAYS required a suspension of belief!That's what makes'em great! It's all comic book/radio hero stuff from long ago. True Indy fans get it, expect it, and will have no problems with this movie. Ppl need to get a grip.

Jeff W. Mon, May 19, 2008 at 01:40 PM EST

Wow, Rebecca, you're a nut job!

Rebecca Bouvier Ramsey Mon, May 19, 2008 at 01:31 PM EST

Do You know that one lonely night at one of my numerous crisis houses in Santa Cruz California, I was laying in my bed, late at night and listening to Indiana Jones on the telivision out in the far living room. It was a particularly erie and stormy one, and when all of the snakes got burned up in the pit I took it upon myself to pull all of those dying snakes right into my body, for fear that they would have no more reternal life. Welll now I know they do , and they are still a part of God's kingdom as they never really did get caught on fire. WE
may always return to their memory's, at leaste I think so for further reprocutions, or should I say Spiritual development. Thanx, Jesus in Santa Cruz California

Dan Mon, May 19, 2008 at 01:26 PM EST

Roger Ebert gave it 3.5/4 stars. Enough Said.

donna Mon, May 19, 2008 at 12:44 PM EST

I'm not upset about plot spoilers. However, I am miffed that Lisa called Cate Blanchett's character a Natasha Badinov type. Every Rocky and Bullwinkle fans knows the character was named Natasha Fatale. It was Boris Badinov.

Tim Mon, May 19, 2008 at 12:29 PM EST

OMG does that mean that Lisa Schwarzbaum actually liked something? Unbelievable.

GeorgeLang Mon, May 19, 2008 at 12:13 PM EST

I saw the film last night, and Lisa's basically on target with this one. There is a lot to like about "Crystal Skull," and it does justice to the franchise, but consider this: the story that ran in EW's Summer Movie Preview mentioned an early '90s plot with a strong science fiction bent. After seeing "Crystal Skull," I was left wondering why it took so long, given that this is what we got?
http://blog.newsok.com/staticblog

Jeff W. Mon, May 19, 2008 at 11:53 AM EST

From Aintitcoolnews, "There’s a lot of magic in this film. A lot of it. I don’t think you have to be a chapter and verse fan of Indiana Jones to love it. Yes, LOVE IT. I think you just have to let go, believe and be willing to have another adventure with INDIANA JONES… because nobody, anywhere does it like Indy.

Indiana Jones is about nostalgia, that’s what it was conceived from. It’s suppose to be the joy of all that stuff from George and Steven’s childhoods. Their heroes reborn in the most awesome hero of their age – given adventures that only the 21st Century’s whiz-banggery could produce.

This was an Indiana Jones movie. THANK GOD!"

JJCRUISER Mon, May 19, 2008 at 11:47 AM EST

"This is a 90-minute story pumped up to 123 minutes, not so much on steroids as on Frappuccino, and the chance sing the old four-note tune again."

What on earth does that mean?

writerfella Mon, May 19, 2008 at 11:27 AM EST

writerfella here --
So far, writerfella has encountered two 'faint praise' reviews of IJ4, one here and one at IWon.com, AND THEY BOTH WERE WRITTEN BY WOMEN! Were either of such people at all cognizant or even alive when the first Indiana Jones feature hit theaters? Neither George Lucas nor Steven Spielberg need apologize for tailoring their Indy action adventures for males, young males, and fanboys of all ages. But, gustibus non disputandem est...

BC Mon, May 19, 2008 at 11:15 AM EST

Have they ever explained what happened to Short Round (from Indy 2)?

Allan Mon, May 19, 2008 at 11:11 AM EST

Oh, and Rosebud is a sled.

Eli Mon, May 19, 2008 at 11:00 AM EST

KC you idiot, did you not read the big letters: IF YOU ARE A PLOT PURIST AND DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS MOVIE, DON'T READ THE FOLLOWING!

Jayel Mon, May 19, 2008 at 10:47 AM EST

M - If there was no spoiler alert up with the original post, that does change things considerably, I willingly concede. I would still contend that anybody reporting on this or any other movie has to say *something* about the plot and that this reviewer didn't spill any beans that anyone who's remotely interested in this movie didn't already at least suspect. That being said, it's a commonplace of internet courtesy to warn readers about possible spoilers, and surely this blogger should have known that.

Juan Mon, May 19, 2008 at 10:43 AM EST

Hey, everyone, please, get over it. Yes, she slipped in her review. What are you doing reading the review of Indiana Jones the SECOND it's posted on the site? Do you actually need to read a review for this movie? If you're so concerned with "ruining the mystery of it" then why bother coming to the website at all? You're GONNA see the movie, right? There is a zero percent chance that anyone fanatical enough to log onto the internet to immediately read the latest tidbits of information about this colossal event wouldn't already have certain plans to see this film within 72 hours of release. So, wah wah wah, she slipped a semi-obvious yet meaningful plot point. If this ruins the entire magical movie experience for you, then on behalf of the Internet, I apologize for your loss.

RMeyer Mon, May 19, 2008 at 10:40 AM EST

Well it's hardly surprising that Ms. S wasn't glowing about Indy, after all it's not an "important socially relevant" movie. It's a popcorn movie. I do think Ms. S should keep her job, she's the perfect reverse barometer for me, she hates it, I'll go to it. She likes it, it's nothing I want to see. She's a perfect 8/8 with me on films I was curious about seeing or not seeing.

jds Mon, May 19, 2008 at 10:40 AM EST

AB said "Lisa's condescending post is proof enough that all the criticism she's receiving is warranted." Which made the person who wrote that pretending to be Lisa Schwarzbaum very happy.

couchgrouch Mon, May 19, 2008 at 10:09 AM EST

this flick's been damned with faint praise from nearly every critic who's seen it. it's been hyped and commercialized beyond belief along with a "new" Indy box set out. in truth, Raiders was great but the other two sucked. I'll wait for PPV and baited breath for the inevitable "new, xtra-special" box set that's sure to glut Costo's shelves for the holidays. yawn.

laura adams Mon, May 19, 2008 at 09:58 AM EST

Lisa S. comments is an indication that the movie is great. She decries it but loves it subtlety.

Lisa Schwarzbaum Mon, May 19, 2008 at 09:57 AM EST

BTW- Vader is Luke's father Leia is his sister.

Beth Mon, May 19, 2008 at 09:56 AM EST

That's great. Indy's a deadbeat dad. Nothing like another sperm doner out there.

Beth Mon, May 19, 2008 at 09:56 AM EST

That's great. Indy's a deadbeat dad. Nothing like another sperm doner out there.

Lisa S. Mon, May 19, 2008 at 09:41 AM EST

And furthermore, Kevin Spacey is Keyser Soze!

Booper Mon, May 19, 2008 at 09:27 AM EST

SPOILER ALERT: Lisa S. is actually Indy's love-child from Marion Ravenwood....Shia is the product of Indy's relationship with Kate Capshaw's character in "Temple of Doom"! And, hey, wouldn't it have been great if they would have thrown in a surprise cameo by Sean Connery anyhow like they did in Costner's "Robin Hood"? Go and enjoy "Crystal Skull" and leave Lisa alone - she's got a gazillion movies left to review, and an upcoming Swiss Alps adventure yet to go on with Indy and Marion (another spoiler alert) for Indy V!

M Mon, May 19, 2008 at 09:23 AM EST

Only one minor quibble with your "YOU WHINE" tirade, Jayel . . . that disclaimer wasn't up yesterday when I read this spoilerfest. It does me no good to see the disclaimer now. Can't put the baby back in the womb!

BC Mon, May 19, 2008 at 08:57 AM EST

Just one point - she never actually said Shia was the long-lost son, only that Indy has one.

AB Mon, May 19, 2008 at 08:38 AM EST

Lisa's condescending post is proof enough that all the criticism she's receiving is warranted. It falls on ET for giving her the assignment when they knew how things were likely to play out.

Jayel Mon, May 19, 2008 at 08:30 AM EST

M, I'm sure someone else will say this, but ye gods . . . if you didn't want to be spoiled, why did you read it? The writer put in big bold letters at the top, don't read if you don't want to know. And yet you read. And now you whine.
When Spielberg & Co. screened this thing at Cannes, they didn't do it as a favor to friends they thought would keep it a secret. They showed it to critics so they would talk about it, promote it, get people in the seats. You don't have to grow up if you don't want to, I suppose, but this is ridiculous - it's like a reflex, isn't it? "Can't resist . . . . must point out spoilers . . . . spoilers BAD!!! ARRRRGGHHHH!!!"

M Mon, May 19, 2008 at 08:20 AM EST

Reading such a blatant spoiler makes me appreciate Spielberg's months-long shroud of secrecy . . . and also makes me nostalgic for the days before the Internet could ruin plot twists at lightning speed.

NYC Mon, May 19, 2008 at 08:06 AM EST

I saw it yesterday at an advance screening and it's ok, nothing more. Worth seeing for a spectacular jungle chase sequence about 2/3 of the way in, but otherwise somewhat stilted and rote. The audience (hand-picked by Paramount, mind you) was mostly very subdued, and the ending was greeted with not much more than polite applause. It's not bad, it's just not much. The actors do what they can (Cate Blanchett appears to be having a blast), but I do have to say that Ray Winstone's role is absolutely horrible (and horribly written), and his performance is only marginally better.

And for what it's worth, I had not heard anything before I entered the theater about Shia L being Indy's son, but I guessed it about 2 minutes after he appeared onscreen. Also, the "secret" is revealed about an hour before the end of the movie, so it's not like it's the culmination of the entire story.

Maeve Mon, May 19, 2008 at 07:23 AM EST

These days everything you read about a movie says "warning: possible plot points ahead." And if I read it I expect to find details regarding what the overall plot of the movie is going to be. I don't expect to have someone ruin a secret for me. I don't care how obvious it is. Thanks, Lisa.

kim in kentucky Mon, May 19, 2008 at 06:48 AM EST

please people -- its been out for MONTHS that Shia was Indy's son!! And I don't mean in the obscure-only-a-handful-of-people-read sites - its been all over the media --- and want more of a review with MORE details - go to TIME.COM -- full 2 page article on the flick -- I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THIS FILM!!!

Jeff W. Mon, May 19, 2008 at 06:47 AM EST

Having Lisa S. review Indiana Jones is like having your grandmother review a comic book. I would much rather read a review from someone who loves the series and is therefore in a better position to gauge this film against the others.

ronnie Mon, May 19, 2008 at 06:07 AM EST

Lisa S a real person? Come on now. That's the first objectionable thing I've read on this page. Kidding!

Love you, woman, don't let the haters get you down. They're off their meds. And what part of SPOILER ALERT is illegible?

Lisa Schwarzbaum Mon, May 19, 2008 at 06:00 AM EST

Good morning, commenters. It's me, Lisa Schwarzbaum, a real person, here to find out what you've been talking about since I posted my Insta-Reaction to Indy 4 from Cannes yesterday.

To paraphrase Shia's Mutt, what are you, like, three?
Play nice!
I'm now off to see a profound Belgian film.
xoxox

DanBoston Mon, May 19, 2008 at 05:25 AM EST

Could it be that critics are having a higher expectation for this movie than the public?

sawadee Mon, May 19, 2008 at 02:48 AM EST

I enjoyed the review, Lisa. It was balanced and intelligent--while still carrying the enthusiasm of a fan. It's crazy that people are so angry in their comments. I wish that energy was directed at more important issues--like the ongoing humanitarian crisis in Congo.

jds Mon, May 19, 2008 at 01:58 AM EST

I don't understand why people who hate movie reviews read them. Is it just so they can complain about them? Is it because they really hope that every review of every blockbuster will be "OMG one of the absolute best movies ever"? I just don't know what's going on here.

Elfit Mon, May 19, 2008 at 01:42 AM EST

I'm so excited to see this movie!!!!!! Lisa did a good job at being objective about a movie many are anticipating. As for the spoilers, come on, what were you expecting? All reviewers give a little plot away in order for the reader to understand what they are reviewing about. If your still complaining, don't click on the link.

DesertCat Mon, May 19, 2008 at 12:44 AM EST

I loved "Raiders", could've done without the following two movies, and will definitely see this one, just for fun. That said... GROW UP, people. It's a movie, and a movie review. It's not Darfur, it's not a major natural disaster, it's not a cure for cancer... it's about a frickin' movie. It's ultimately all fluff, so get over yourselves. See it or don't. Seriously, who cares what a critic thinks anyhow? Are you that insecure? I'll go to a movie based on my own interests and instincts, thank you. Let Lisa S. write whatever she wants, it's (supposedly) a free country.

Atticus Mon, May 19, 2008 at 12:29 AM EST

In response to the commenters below who are taking out their own issues on Lisa Schwarzbaum: get over yourselves. Lisa's review is not what's unbalanced here. Over time her reviews have earned my absolute trust. At metacritic.com I always click through to read her full review of each movie, because I've learned through trial and error that her take on movies matches mine better than any other critic featured there.

Anyway, enough with the misplaced complaints, commenters. If you're going to criticize a reviewer's opinion before you even see the film yourself... or if you simply can't stand the idea of a critic doing their job and analyzing what works and what doesn't about your precious franchise-movie-you're-determined-to-like-come-hell-or-high-water, what can I say? Nobody asked you to come here and be a nuisance.

Eddie Sun, May 18, 2008 at 11:15 PM EST

Who's this Lisa Schwarzbaum?

dayton deines Sun, May 18, 2008 at 10:36 PM EST

yeah you can read it twice mothereffers

dayton deines Sun, May 18, 2008 at 10:36 PM EST

yeah you can read it twice mothereffers

superhonky Sun, May 18, 2008 at 10:34 PM EST

nothing was spoiled in this article...as it is with everything this wordy,run-off-at-the-mouth punchbowl-turd EVER writes. Why does EW allow lisa schitbomb to continue her critique of major film releases?! Let Owen "the gleeb" Gleiberman cover the movies that will MAKE money and lisa "the runny schitz" shitbomb pan the movies no one wants to see. her inevetible opinion is why i read this crap online instead of paying for a subscription of an otherwise fine periodical.

superhonky Sun, May 18, 2008 at 10:34 PM EST

nothing was spoiled in this article...as it is with everything this wordy,run-off-at-the-mouth punchbowl-turd EVER writes. Why does EW allow lisa schitbomb to continue her critique of major film releases?! Let Owen "the gleeb" Gleiberman cover the movies that will MAKE money and lisa "the runny schitz" shitbomb pan the movies no one wants to see. her inevetible opinion is why i read this crap online instead of paying for a subscription of an otherwise fine periodical.

sara Sun, May 18, 2008 at 09:49 PM EST

ummm, what idiot would click on a movie review link, read the "do not read this if you don't want to be spoiled" disclaimer, go ahead and read it anyway, and THEN start foaming at the mouth that they've been spoiled??? clearly some serious dolts out there, allright...

bob (part 2) Sun, May 18, 2008 at 09:47 PM EST

... and as such shouldn't ruin the experience.

(heh... sry... ran out of characters in comment... hmmmm... that in itself should be worthy of commenting on... suppose i should get an editor, but that would mean i'd have to think about my comments before rambling... :D)

Bob Sun, May 18, 2008 at 09:44 PM EST

This is a comment to everybody who reads "reviews" and doesn't expect to see any type of plot listed.
"oh... my... god!!!!"
Why?!? Why would you even read something about the movie if it's going to completely and totally ruin the experience for you?!?
What possible good can come of it?
Allow me to sum up every movie expected to come out this summer:
It will likely earn an average rating of C to B- by most critics. It will fall short of expectations in a few areas, and the plot will be somewhat dimished by the overuse of action or CGI. It will never be as [good/memorable/funny/relevant] as it's source material, and yet will accomplish it's goal, to make tons of summer money from people who are looking for pure summer escapism in a world that could currently use some.
User reviews will be either "A++++ Best Movie I have ever seen" or "F--- This movie is a total piece of S#I+, etc. etc"

Grow up people! Shia LeBouf playing Indy's son is NOT the main portion of the plot!...

gre Sun, May 18, 2008 at 09:31 PM EST

Fire Lisa! This movie is supposed to destroy my childhood, and your review is making me want to see this movie!!
(*sarcasm off*)

Holly Sun, May 18, 2008 at 09:11 PM EST

I saw the movie today at a preview for the media. It was fantastic - on par with the original. Humor, adventure, subtle nods to key elements from the franchise. I honestly can't remember when I enjoyed a movie this much.

The Counteragent Sun, May 18, 2008 at 08:39 PM EST

So now "revealing" plots points that were already widely assumed as the truth is considered grounds for someone to lose their job? Grow up, people. If you didn't want to know anything, you shouldn't have clicked the link in the first place, regardless of whether it was noted as having spoilers-better safe than sorry, right? As for the actual mini-review, there's nothing wrong with having mild criticism; it's her JOB to be objective, and she does it well. And in response to the comment that women shouldn't be reviewing action films: Tom Strong, you couldn't be more ignorant if you tried. Are we going to ban male critics from reviewing romantic comedies as well? If anything (assuming we're going off sexist stereotypes here) it'd be better to have a woman review an action film so that she can be more objective.

Andy Sun, May 18, 2008 at 08:29 PM EST

Why is everybody hating on Lisa? She gave the movie a positive review, people! I'm really truly extremely excited for this movie, but I accept that not everyone is going to love it and I'm certainly not expecting it to be perfect. Even the best movies have their flaws, and to mention them in an otherwise positive critique is perfectly acceptable, and does not deserve people to be instantly calling the writer out of touch and a terrible critic! So she thought it was a little long, go see the movie and decide for yourself, and then after you have thought about the movie, post a thoughtful response. Sorry. End of rant.

Jeff Sun, May 18, 2008 at 07:50 PM EST

Fire Lisa!

erin Sun, May 18, 2008 at 07:47 PM EST

I absolutly cannot wait to see this movie! I've been excited to see this movie since I first heard rumor they were doing this 4th movie. I will be there on Friday night!!!!!!!!!
I dont care what the reviews say, what do they know? And...Harrison Ford is still hot at 65!

Dave Sun, May 18, 2008 at 07:46 PM EST

I saw it today and I really enjoyed seeing Karen Allen. She looks great and her character has spunk!

Nix Sun, May 18, 2008 at 07:13 PM EST

Aliens! Now they've gone too far!!!
;-j

Mad Sun, May 18, 2008 at 06:52 PM EST

The warning was not there this morning or I would have read it and avoided confirmation on certain points.

Still though, a review is not to give away thigs that are only hinted at in the trailer.

It's kind of like Ghostbusters 2, everyone just knew that little baby was going to be Bill Murray's son and he wasn't. No one knew for sure that Shia was...

TorontoTom Sun, May 18, 2008 at 06:35 PM EST

Having Lisa Scwarzbum review Indy IV is like having Howard Stern review Swan Lake. Her reviews are so out of touch with what the public wants and pays to see.
Please, EW - put us out of our misery and hire a critic that could restore your credibility.

Cory Sun, May 18, 2008 at 05:25 PM EST

Okay, so it didn't actually say "spoiler alert" in those exact words, but there was a sentence IN CAPS that was a more than adequate warning in my opinion. If you were spoiled, it's your own fault.

Lane Sun, May 18, 2008 at 05:09 PM EST

Lisa Schwarzbaum has absolutely no credibility whatsoever at this point.

lisa Sun, May 18, 2008 at 03:59 PM EST

poor......

lisa Sun, May 18, 2008 at 03:55 PM EST

poor......

lisa Sun, May 18, 2008 at 03:55 PM EST

poor......

Allan Sun, May 18, 2008 at 03:31 PM EST

Just came home from an early screening... and loved it. The film delivers exactly what you expect it to -- it's about forty barrels of thrills, jokes, stunts, exciting set pieces, inside jokes, some eye-rolling groaners, and over the top mayhem. But what a kick to get to visit our old friends again! Go, enjoy, don't listen to critics who may carp, see for yourself, and try not to read too much about the plot beforehand... this is an audience pleaser from the first frame to the last.

Gre Sun, May 18, 2008 at 03:29 PM EST

This film has received enough good reviews from critics I trust that I can breathe a sigh of relief and just look forward to a great fun film next week.

Jeff Wincze Sun, May 18, 2008 at 03:20 PM EST

I'm so disappointed to hear that there's too much action! What a silly complaint. It only makes me want to see it more.

Sarah A Sun, May 18, 2008 at 03:16 PM EST

Agreed with Pam. It seems nowadays critics are eager to rip apart or slightly insult a film just to appear above it. Whatever, there's been so many times where I disagree with critic.


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