The best (awesomely) bad movie titles

luxury watch Tue, Apr 21, 2009 at 10:16 PM EST

It's good! rolex watch?
luxury watch?

calamity Tue, Mar 24, 2009 at 12:01 PM EST

"Who is Harry Kellerman and Why is He Saying Those Terrible Things About Me?" Also, ditto on "Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia" (which is hilarious). I also nominate the movie title "Locusts," which may not sound that remarkable -- Until you try saying it out loud, with a LISP (locuthtth)!!!!

mermaid Tue, Dec 30, 2008 at 03:56 PM EST

Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (or is it Baby?) always got me, cause I mean, yes, I get that what he means is he *enlarged* the child, but there's got to be a way to say it without making it sound like a deadly explosion, right? And speaking of James Bond movies, Moonraker pretty much sucks. I know it's the name of something in the film, but as a title it just makes me think of dishwashing detergent or something. All time favorite though: "Jonathan Livingston Seagull"

Kate Wed, Dec 10, 2008 at 03:47 PM EST

Oh, and of course..."Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter"

Kate Wed, Dec 10, 2008 at 03:45 PM EST

"I Killed My Lesbian Wife, Hung Her on a Meat Hook, and Now I Have a Three-Picture Deal at Disney" - Directed by Ben Affleck...

mbbm Thu, May 15, 2008 at 08:58 AM EST

"the attack of the 50ft woman"

mbbm Thu, May 15, 2008 at 08:58 AM EST

"the attack of the 50ft woman"

marco Sat, Apr 19, 2008 at 03:36 AM EST

few weeks ago i found this quite big collection of movie titles... www.movie-titles.tv

Fri, Apr 4, 2008 at 01:13 PM EST

Leonard Part 6. I mean, what happened to parts 1-5?

luceiia Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 02:52 PM EST

Santa With Muscles

Anne Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 05:56 PM EST

"Snakes on a Plane," of course!
"Attack of the Giant Leeches" is a pretty good one too.

Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 11:14 AM EST

"The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl IN 3D" is my all-time favorite.

"The Wonderful Ice Cream Suit" is also good.

Buckaroo Banzai Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 07:56 AM EST

"Operation Dumbo Drop"
I mean, come on!

Brenna Sat, Mar 29, 2008 at 03:37 PM EST

"My Mom's got a date with a Vampire."
"Don't look under the bed."

Brian Thu, Mar 27, 2008 at 09:45 AM EST

"Ferocious Female Freedom Fighters;" (a rip-off of Woody Allen's "What's Up Tiger Lily?"); "Yegah!" (A ridiculously bad caveman movie); "Bloodsucking Freaks" (atrocious horror flick).

Brian Thu, Mar 27, 2008 at 09:44 AM EST

"Ferocious Female Freedom Fighters;" (a rip-off of Woody Allen's "What's Up Tiger Lily?"); "Yegah!" (A ridiculously bad caveman movie); "Bloodsucking Freaks" (atrocious horror flick).

nadjy Thu, Mar 27, 2008 at 05:00 AM EST

Already cited, but it's gotta be DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR...I mean, come on! ;-)

Henry Thu, Mar 27, 2008 at 12:04 AM EST

No one mentions "Naked Lunch"? It was such a bad movie title that it got its own joke on The Simpsons.

Jakeem Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 11:20 PM EST

I've always hated the title of the 1994 Nicolas Cage-Bridget Fonda comedy "It Could Happen to You." But I seem to remember that the original title was worse -- "Cop Gives Waitress $2 Million Dollar Tip"!
I also hate "About Last Night" (1986) because the original title was better -- "Sexual Perversity in Chicago"!

Meghan Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 10:26 PM EST

I'm adding my vote for Midnight Meat Train. After seeing that trailer and the reveal of the title, I said "are you KIDDING me?" out loud and then started laughing. So horrible.

Greg Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 09:57 PM EST

To be fair, "Blood and Chocolate," "Holes," and "What Dreams May Come" were all the titles of the original novels. (And the latter is a quote from "Hamlet.")

My nominee? "The Howling 3: The Marsupials."

To Silv Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 09:04 PM EST

The significance of the title Eternal Sunshine is explained the movie, and if you've seen the movie the relevance is clear.

kim in kentucky Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 09:03 PM EST

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me - or even better (worse) - the original full title: Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me, Teresa Banks and the Last Seven Days of Laura Palmer (guess they wanted you know exactly what you watching)

Shawn D Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 09:03 PM EST

Slumber Party Massacre
Beware! Children At Play

I'm gay for Tina Fey Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 08:52 PM EST

Also, I came to say Quantum of Solace, but I see that has been covered!

I'm gay for Tina Fey Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 08:46 PM EST

Over 80 posts, and no one has said Love in the Time of Cholera?

Or does it not count because the title came from the book...?

gisel Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 08:18 PM EST

since some already put down the craptastic title 'mother, may i sleep with danger?,' i'm going to put down 'terror at the mall.' ohh lifetime. you slay me.

D.R. Mosby Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 07:58 PM EST

C'mon...the absolute worst movie title ever is "Soft Toilet Seats".

kim in kentucky Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 07:56 PM EST

Hawmps! (yes the ! is part of the title) - a 1976 flick about how the cavalary resorted to using camels

alex Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 05:27 PM EST

"Mother, May I Sleep with Danger?"
try and beat that

arryana Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 05:22 PM EST

how about robin williams' "what dreams may come" - i giggled at the title but fell never thought it would be accurate as i fell asleep in the middle of it.

Silv Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 04:56 PM EST

And according to imdb.com, not only was there a "Sssssss", there was a "Sssshhh", a "Sssshht!" and a "How to Get the Man's Foot Out of Your Ass". Seriously!

Silv Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 04:53 PM EST

Perhaps these are not in the same class as some of the priceless ones here but I always wondered what possessed the producers to name these currently airing on cable: "Kinky Boots"; "The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada"; "Honey I Blew Up the Kid" and then there's "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind."

lucy809 Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 04:21 PM EST

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats
now that's a title!

laura Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 04:12 PM EST

Agree with Sarah, who posted really early this morning...I too saw the preview for "Midnight Meat Train." Hilarious! My husband thought "Meat Train" would have been a better title...I think they should scrap the whole thing...

Coyote Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 03:46 PM EST

I agree with the characters on "30 Rock" -- "The Rural Juror" is a terrible name for a movie, and impossible to pronouce!

Stephanie T. Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 03:37 PM EST

And I forgot, GASSSSS.

Cara Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 03:36 PM EST

Also: (and this one speaks for itself)

"Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death"!

dma69 Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 03:35 PM EST

Wrestling Ernest Hemmingway comes to mind.

Stephanie T. Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 03:35 PM EST

1. Chopping Mall, aka- Killbots
2. Dude,where's my car?
3. Amazon Women Go to the Moon
3. Dr. Jekyle and Miss Hyde
4. Earth Girls are Easy
5. Cop and a Half
6. Suburban Commando
7. Can't Stop the Music (just because no one could STOP that movie from being made.)

Cara Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 03:35 PM EST

"Herbie: Fully Loaded". Is our favorite friendly car drunk in this movie, perhaps? Stoned? Suffering from an obvious boob job like its star?

Bunny Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 03:35 PM EST

Allison- It's "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" not itch. Which, I guess, isnt a whole lot better.

Anonynous Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 03:30 PM EST

How about Phffft! Seriously, it's a romantic comedy starring Jack Lemmon. Check out the link if you don't believe me.... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phffft%21

DanOregon Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 03:03 PM EST

The weird ones are great, the bad ones are those that are stapled onto generic romantic comedies, usually with some phrase with "love" in it. Forgettable. Bonus points for anyone who can name these movies: River Phoenix and Samantha Mathis in Nashville as songwriters; Greg Kinear and Morgan Freeman in Portland set Robert Benton flick. Gena Rowlands, Sean Connery, John Stewart, Angelina Jolie in LA-set romcom.

Lee Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 03:01 PM EST

Tom Green's classic "Freddy Got Fingered"

birdgirl39 Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 02:54 PM EST

Octopussy, hands down.
I worked in a movie theatre (single screen) when this particular film came out. Every time someone would call to ask what what was playing, I was forced to say that dreadful title
over and over agian. Alot of a-holes would call just to hear me say it. Frankly, the movie sucked as well.

Allison Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 02:49 PM EST

How about Hedwig and the Angry Itch?
don't they have a cream for that.

LizO Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 02:20 PM EST

I can't believe no one has mentioned the new James Bond movie.

Quantum of Solace???????

fredric Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 02:13 PM EST

In keeping with the Weiners theme, how about Dick, with Michelle Williams and Kirsten Dunst? (Pretty *awesomely* bad... much of what's listed here is just plain bad.)

Skitch Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 02:09 PM EST

Blood and Chocolate

When the title for that werewolf movie came up on the screen, everyone in the theater laughed. How did that get passed studio executives?

Snarf Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 02:04 PM EST

Forgot "Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town"

Snarf Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 02:02 PM EST

That should be "the" not "yhe"

Snarf Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 02:01 PM EST

"Yhe Perils of Gwendelyn in the Land of Yik-Yak"
No, I'm not making this up, and yes, it's as bad as it sounds.

Meier Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 01:57 PM EST

My votes:
- Billy the Kid versus Dracula
- Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
- Glen or Glenda
- Night of the Lepus
- Don't Be a Menace in South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood
- Manos: The Hands of Fate

Amanda Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 01:51 PM EST

I agree with everyone who mentioned Midnight Meat Train. If they make a porno spoof, what will they call it? How can you possibly make that title dirtier?

Catherine Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 01:47 PM EST

And oh yes, Rick is totally right saying that "Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever" is a heinous movie title -- btu the movie itself was even worse.

Catherine Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 01:43 PM EST

In the mid-80s I saw a trailer for a sci-fi movie about hip teenagers fighting for survival on a post-apocalyptic Earth. I leaned over to my friend and whispered, "Looks cool!" Then the Deep-Voiced Movie Announcer Guy gravely intoned the title "Solarbabies" and the entire theatre -- including my friend and I -- erupted into laughter. Uh, no. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091981/plotsummary

Rich Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 01:20 PM EST

Any column like this that does not mention Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever simply is not complete.

Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 01:16 PM EST

How about Barn of the Naked Dead? Or Leonard, Part 6? (whatever happened to the first 5?)

Nell Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 01:13 PM EST

I don't think it counts if the movie title has ironic air quotes and is intentionally bad: Incredibly Mixed-Up Zombies, Vampire on Bikini Beach, etc. Same with intentionally camp titles.

Worst titles ever: Slap Her..She's French and Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo

There's Oh Dad Poor Dad I Hung You in the Closet and I'm Feeling So Sad.

Aiman Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 01:04 PM EST

Jacob Two Two was a classic children book title, and can be forgiven. How about "The Stupids", enough said.

Kate Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 01:01 PM EST

Jacob Two-Two Meets the Hooded Fang

adam Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 01:00 PM EST

i've always loved "Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!"

Martha Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 12:57 PM EST

Wasn't there a movie called "Amazon Women on the Moon"?

Nicolletta Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 12:50 PM EST

* Snatch
* Sammy and Rosie Get Laid
* The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill But Came Down A Mountain
* Gigli
* Gentlemen Don't Eat Poets

SpaceCat85 Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 12:39 PM EST

Roman Polanski's `60s vampire comedy is called, in full:
"The Fearless Vampire Killers or: Pardon Me, But Your Teeth Are in My Neck"

Shenanigan Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 12:22 PM EST

Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter.

to thad Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 12:18 PM EST

the title is actually 'the unbearable lightness of being', and that's actually a great title.

Crystal Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 12:04 PM EST

What about Superbad? It doesn't reflect the subject of the movie in the least. And I feel super-stupid saying the title "Superbad", even though I liked the movie.

Chree Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 12:03 PM EST

How has nobody added "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Love Julie Newmar"? Classically awful.

Josh Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 11:56 AM EST

I remember there was a John Waters movie a few years back called "Pecker." I think I was about 16 at the time, so of course I thought it was pretty funny.

paige Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 11:40 AM EST

awesomely bad title for an awesomely excellent film: "Dr. Strangelove: or how i stopped worrying and started to love them bomb". I think it was titled that on purpose...

Zod Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 11:16 AM EST

Morons From Outer Space

Auriana Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 10:59 AM EST

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?

marilinda Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 10:53 AM EST

HOLES!!!

love this movie. always giggle at the title.

Lisa M Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 10:53 AM EST

I saw the trailer for Midnight Meat Train when I saw The Bank Job and a lot of people laughed when the title was revealed.

Kathy Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 10:47 AM EST

How about from a movie within a movie? In Bowfinger they are making a movie called "Chubby Rain". Always loved that one!

Dana Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 10:42 AM EST

To: GeeMoney

I was just going to type those two very same movies until I saw you all ready did :)

lilly Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 10:31 AM EST

HARD RAIN

Adam Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 10:29 AM EST

I second "Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead" and add "Amazon Women on the Moon"

liz Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 10:28 AM EST

8 heads in a duffle bag

Freddie Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 10:09 AM EST

Gotta go with Stallone: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot

Ryan Walter Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 10:05 AM EST

The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak, Glove : Lethal Terminator, Hard Case and Fist. Three horrible movies, three great titles.

Victor Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 10:05 AM EST

"Rat Pfink a Boo Boo"

The title was supposed to be "Rat Pfink and Boo Boo" but the title designer messed it up. The budget on this movie was so next to nothing that the director couldn't afford to fix it, though he flat out denies in the dvd commentary.

Victor Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 09:57 AM EST

"Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia"

You really can't help but to say it out loud in a bad spanish accent...,right?

Dominique L. Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 09:51 AM EST

I remember that when the title came up at the end of the "Blood and Chocolate" trailer, everyone laughed. Hard. Also, I've always reaaaaaaaally hated the title "Shakespeare in Love".

dom Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 09:46 AM EST

Attack Of The Clones

Eva Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 09:38 AM EST

Do TV movies count? If so, I nominate "Mother, May I Sleep with Danger?" (Go, Tori Spelling, go!)

If TV movies don't count, I found B*A*P*S to be both stupid and offensive.

Victor Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 09:36 AM EST

"The Pope Must Die(t)"

Victor Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 09:33 AM EST

"Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death"!

Remember that? With Bill Maher?!

Thad Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 09:31 AM EST

The Unbearable Likeness of Being

Being John Malkovich

Red

White

Blue

Jennifer Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 09:17 AM EST

I vote for "Pootie Tang"

Kathy Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 09:08 AM EST

How about "Assault of the Killer Bimbos" and "Surf Nazis Must Die"? Thos are two of my all-time fav titles from really bad movies!

Jim Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 08:44 AM EST

The Door in the Floor.... yeeeesh!

Nick Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 08:42 AM EST

The Neverending Story II

Heather Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 08:33 AM EST

I third "Midnight Meat Train." Despite the eerie trailer, I laughed out loud when the title came onscreen.

What are the odds at least one executive saw that title and wondered whether he was being Punk'd?

Scotty B. Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 08:28 AM EST

How about "Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama?"

Or, "Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death?"

(and, believe it or not, niether one is an adult movie!)

Perhaps best yet, from the 50s, "The Incredibly Strane Creatures Who Stopped Living, and Became Mixed-Up Zombies."

No kidding.

NineDaves Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 08:23 AM EST

"don't be a meance to south central while drinking your juice in the hood."

GeeMoney Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 08:21 AM EST

"Snakes On A Plane", of course, and my favorite, "Killer Klowns from Outer Space." Awesome.

Ceballos Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 08:19 AM EST

"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians":

Does it tell you what the movie is about? Check.
Does it give away the ending? Check.
Is it completely nonsensical? Check.
Is it awesomely bad? Double Check!