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Is Chuck Norris the new Kilroy?

Mar 11, 2008, 06:00 AM | by Annie Barrett

Categories: Film, Things That Make Me Die Inside

Chucknorris_l Chuck Norris doesn't peer over brick walls; he crumbles them to pieces with the split ends of his 'stache. The s---kicking cloud of Internet hype that's been surrounding Chuck Norris for a few years has evidently reached the U.S. military in Iraq. The troops consider him a cult figure (duh?) and, according to a very important Reuters report, "comments lauding the manliness and virility of the actor have been left on toilet walls across Iraq and even in neighboring Kuwait." One such message, my favorite and also the most terrifying, is "Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter." Oh dear. Welcome to late 2005!

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SpaceCat85 Tue, Mar 11, 2008 at 11:23 PM EST

I thought this fad got old months ago?

Anyway, that Bruce vs. Chuck scene from Return of the Dragon mentioned earlier...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ly0tEC4f3Ic

Ms Daisy Tue, Mar 11, 2008 at 03:25 PM EST

I'm still trying to figure out why Chuck Norris has never won an Emmy or an Oscar for his fine acting abilities. (She says with heavy sarcasm.)

Stephanie T. Tue, Mar 11, 2008 at 01:19 PM EST

Chuck Norris can say "Nuclear"! lol!

Nix Tue, Mar 11, 2008 at 01:08 PM EST

Okay, I laughed so hard at that "manslaughter" one I even disturbed myself.

Ep Sato Tue, Mar 11, 2008 at 10:35 AM EST

Of course Chuck Norris has the support of the troops. After his onetime loss to Bruce Lee (in a spectacular azz beating in the Roman Colosseum), Norris went on to win the Vietnam War (more than ten years after the fall of Saigon), kick out the Communist invaders by himself, AND was able to rewrite the history of the TWA Flight 847 hijacking to make it look as if the terrorists responsible got killed (instead of getting away like they did in real life). Talk about a (propaganda) Army of one!

Melissa Tue, Mar 11, 2008 at 08:03 AM EST

I read that Chuck Norris "news article" yesterday. No wonder the rest of the world hates us.

furry_tom Tue, Mar 11, 2008 at 07:43 AM EST

My brother got his picture taken with Chuck Norris while he was in Iraq! Personally, my infatuation with Chuck Norris ended when I read his column for an ultra-conservative website where he sucked the joy out of the Chuck Norris facts by refuting them (actual excerpt: "'Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever.' There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases, sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris"). Way to be utterly humorless Chuck. As for members of the military, you can't really blame them for being behind the times, when they were initially deployed, Conan was still doing the Walker Texas Ranger Lever.

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