HomeOn the Scene: 'Idol' Top 9 Results Night
Apr 6, 2007, 07:07 PM | by Adam B. Vary
Categories: 'American Idol'
I know this write-up is coming to you a day and change late, PopWatchers, but I've been in recovery for the past 24 hours, and I just got released. No need to send flowers, I'm fine, but the results show was such an emotional roller coaster that after it was over I basically walked to Cedars Sinai and checked myself in for observation.
First of all, Corey the Warm Up Comic is no more. Or, rather, it appears he is dancing with the stars full time. So it looks like for now we're stuck with Bill the Warm Up Comic, who at first showed some serious improvement when he pulled up an audience member to deliver a surprisingly credible "Rapper's Delight." Then he had two pre-teen girls do Beyoncé jiggles — not to mention placing Papa Malakar in the awkward position of "teaching" Mama Sparks how to be an excited fan (as if she doesn't know?!) — and I lost all faith.
The celebs in attendance were also an odd assortment: Stephanie Edwards, buried waaaaay in the back left; Richard Curtis, director of Love, Actually and main man behind Idol Gives Back; Harvey Weinstein, there with his three daughters (more on why else the one-time indie film tyrant was there in a bit); and two of the Maloof brothers. Random.
But the real drama came after the first ad break, when the stage manager placed the Top Nine in those three groups of three. Once Gina saw in which group she was standing — neither with Mindy Doo and Jordin, nor with Blake and Sanjaya (let's face it, he's invincible) — her head dropped right down on Phil's shoulder. My stomach, meanwhile, was in knots, but for a whole different reason. My unconscionably nice colleague, Dave Karger, was sitting next to me Wednesday night, and upon seeing Jordin, Mindy Doo, and Kiki clutching hands, we both immediately thought back to three seasons ago. You know, when it looked like Fantasia, La Toya and J. Hud were in the top three when in fact, they were in the bottom and the future Oscar-winner was sent home. Dave kept repeating, "No, it's gotta be Haley, Gina and Phil, it's gotta be," and I started my slow descent into madness. Even when this season's diva trio were given the reprieve, with Chris (pictured) and Sanjaya already once each spending time in the bottom two tank, well, that long walk Randy took across the stage to reach Blake, Chris, and Sanjaya was a bit too long for my sanity's sake.
During the second ad break, Jordin, Blake, Kiki, and Chris gathered around Gina while Mindy Doo attended to Haley and Phil and Sanjaya just sorta stood around and stared into space. It would appear Blake and Chris had some nervous energy to burn off; when it came time to file back into the benches, I caught them enacting an "After you" "Oh, no, after you" "No, I insist, after you" back-and-forth. (In my head, they did it with British accents.) Then, during the final ad-break — after Michael Bublé's performance, just as unnerving in person as it played on TV, even though Mindy Doo and Jordin clearly seemed to dig it — Blake and Chris started freestyling together. From my vantage point, it looked as if Blake was providing the beat-boxing while Chris the "wicky-wicky"s. They went on like this for a good two minutes, at which point Gina, seated directly in front of them, turned around and said what can only guess was a variation on "Can you guys please stop that, I'm kinda a total wreck here with nerves," 'cause the guys did indeed stop right then and there. Chris even knelt down and gave Gina a sweet from-the-back-and-above hug of support.
Alas, Gina was K.O.'d, and as the logo credits rolled after her insanely ironic farewell performance of "Smile," Chris immediately swung around and enveloped her in a giant bear hug. All three judges made their way immediately to Gina to give their words of advice (usually, it's just Simon who goes first while the other judges linger), and soon enough everyone was ushered off stage while the crew set up for a special performance.
Yes, again, the audience was asked to stick around for some music star to pre-tape an Idol performance, so, yet again, stand-in Randy, Paula and Simon's had to be snagged from the audience while superfluous drum kits had to be placed on the Idol stage. At least this time, Cor — I mean, Bill the WUC turned it into a contest, letting the audience choose which among five guys made for the best Simon. Ryan called out our choice, however, when he showed up to introduce the act and pointed out that the stand-in Simon was the spitting image of Michael Bublé.
Which brings us to why Harvey Weinstein. He was there to introduce Fergie, who has a rare acting role in this weekend's Grindhouse. (Well, to be accurate, since Fergie's Idol performance won't air for another two weeks, it's "the hit movie Grindhouse," according to Harvey, clearly unafraid to look like a fool if his Tarantino-Rodriguez cinematic experiment flops.) It was a good five minutes or so after that introduction was filmed that Fergie showed up on stage, there to learn her choreography from Fatima Robinson, Dreamgirls' choreographer. And by "choreography," I mean, "go here, stand, sing, go here, put your back to the bass player, sing, go here, stand, and sing," and so forth. Not even a four-square in there.
Actually, I wish I could inject more snark about Fergie, but the truth is that when she opened her mouth to sing for the sound check, all other considerations melted away. This woman tore into her song "Big Girls Don't Cry," with a big, clear, emotive voice that blew every single Idol performance this season out of the water. (I even liked it better than the version on her album.) I even turned to Dave Karger and said, "Man, I hope the Top 8 was able to watch this." And that was the sound check. I had to skedat before the actual performance was filmed — it was such a powerful reminder of what good singing can be that I needed some time to recover, so who knows where my sanity will be when I finally get to see Fergie's actual performance? Actually, one thing is for sure — it will be no where near the universe of Sanjaya.
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