What are the worst-rhyming song lyrics?

Tue, Oct 21, 2008 at 02:49 AM EST

haha

how bout this
Your so last summer- taking back sunday
maybe you could just slit my throat and with my last gasp of air i could apologise for bleeding on your shirt

HOW AWESOME!!

Matthew Fri, Sep 19, 2008 at 07:06 AM EST

ITS CALLED ALLITERATION YOU DICKS.
AND ITS RHYMING, YOU RATHER THEY WROTE WHAT THEY DIDN'T FEEL OVER LETTERS?!

kevinlucas Thu, Jul 24, 2008 at 05:50 AM EST

I love this song his voice is very at the top of.

Nova Sat, Feb 9, 2008 at 04:42 PM EST

Sorry to post YET again, but just a word of advise: If a song is driving nuts remember you are the one in the end who has ALL control! Shut it off, Don't buy it, don't watch it, etc. But most important to remember is this: If the artist IS an astounding singer and performer...they ARE human! Remember they make mistakes just like the rest of us and probably know that the song sucked and are super embarrassed. If they're promoting it it may be because they're obligated under contract.(maybe!) So just focus on all they great things they've done for you and the world of art, forgive and ignore that piece and move on.
NOW, IF it continues to happen, the best thing is to remember the good times you had and move on, only checking in once in awhile to see if they saw the err of their ways and converted back. Remember there's a WHOLE wind world of art out there just waiting for YOU to discover it!
Blessings!
-Nova /\/\ -kisses
\__/

Nova Sat, Feb 9, 2008 at 04:24 PM EST

One more thing...I myself am an artist, so that's why I thought I would write to you all explaining kinda what goes on for ALL artist in the industry. I DO agree that there are MANY songs worthy to be put on this list lol don't get me wrong; I just wanted to make sure that these comments and the pulling back of the curtain didn't sour your taste on music or art completely. I'm glad to see that this is a safe place where we can all come together and share our viewpoints and no one attacks anyone else. That's so rare in this industry and the world as a whole. I wanted to commend you all for being so kind and polite to each other as well as the artists! I urge you all to start writing poetry yourselves,drawing,painting,acting or journaling; it's great for the soul,stress relief (picking up the ladies guys ;D), and really finding out more about yourself! You never know-you could even make it big and change what you don't like about the industry!Good Luck and Blessings to you all! -Nova

Nova Sat, Feb 9, 2008 at 04:13 PM EST

One thing you must keep in mind is that most singers DON'T write their songs and can't change one word! Also,most don't even try to rhyme;it's art!Part of art is being different!You're not supposed to sound like a limerick in a bathroom stall. It's about touching the soul,making people think,laugh,cry,and basically get in touch w/their emotions!Another good thing to remember is that some of these songs were written for other generations, not for ours.It doesn't mean they still can't touch us,but you have to keep an open mind!True art is when you're willing to take risks;art is never safe-it's not meant to be.Think about it;songs like "Banana" or others have no risk;it's the SAME words over and over w/no chord changes.Makes you feel like a zombie!But a song like "Hotel California" or "Hallelujah" stir up emotions in you!This my friends is art!They need not rhyme but can if they choose.Remember that your taste in music will change over time,so think before you reject a form of art.
TY!:D

Lord Whabel Fri, Jan 18, 2008 at 01:18 PM EST

Back in 1970, Bobbie Gentry had a UK No.1 with "I'll Never Fall In Love Again". This featured the classic rhyme:

What Do You Get When You Kiss a Guy?
You Get Enough Germs to Catch Pneumonia.
After You Do He'll Never Phone Ya.

They don't make 'em like that any more!

Greg Mon, Nov 26, 2007 at 09:54 AM EST

EVERYONE LISTEN UP! Sorry about the caps but this is important- there is one single line in hit song history that indisputably takes the title, over any line ever written, for the most abominable desecration of the English language just to get a rhyme- and a terrible HALF rhyme at that. It's the first line in Paula Cole's "I Don't Want to Wait": 'So open up your morning light, and say a little prayer for I." Even writing it down makes me feel ill. Thank you for your praise and acknowledgement that this is the hands-down winner.

Lexie Thu, Oct 11, 2007 at 08:46 AM EST

Backstreet Boys "Don't Want You Back":

You hit me faster than a shark attack
You saw my picture on the Backstreet's Back...alright!

Umm...okay....

talhamid Wed, Oct 10, 2007 at 01:30 PM EST

You guys have NO IDEA. Compared to some lyrics from The Cranberries, every lyric listed above is a masterpiece. Consider:
Suddenly something has happened to me/ As I had my cup of tea/
Suddenly I have become distressed/
Utterly and totally stressed/
Do you know you made me cry??
Do you know you made me die?

Speechless? Thought so.

millooo Wed, Feb 7, 2007 at 01:07 PM EST

best ever ever ever
are lfo - summer girls

i like the colour purple, macaroni and cheese,
ruby red slippers and a bunch of trees

new kids on the block had a bunch of hits
chinese food makes me sick

etc etc
go see on a lyrics page
u wont believe your eyes!!!

Alice Mon, Jan 22, 2007 at 07:55 PM EST

OK, I'm gonna add to the Steve Miller "bad lyrics" thread. I nominte the whole song "The Joker" but in particular:
You're the cutest thing
That I ever did see
I really love your peaches
Want to shake your tree

In second place, Shaninny Twit, er, Shania Twain's "Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under" (though any of her songs would qualify for this thread):
I heard you've been sneakin'
Around with Jill
And what about that weekend
With Beverly Hill
(I'm convinced after this there is a "lost verse" that rhymes moon and June and spoon!!!!!!!!!)

Halie Mon, Jan 22, 2007 at 12:25 AM EST

Agreeing about Avril Lavigne's 'Sk8er Boi' -
"He was a skater boy/She said see you later boy"

>:|

Halie Chaney Mon, Jan 22, 2007 at 12:24 AM EST

Agreeing about Avril Lavigne's 'Sk8er Boi' -
"He was a skater boy/She said see you later boy"

>:|

Ruth Sun, Jan 21, 2007 at 08:15 PM EST

As a songwriter, I had to laugh...this list is such a mix of songs that rhyme well (but people just don't like them), songs that DON'T have perfect rhymes because their writers don't WANT the song to have a perfect rhyme...and songs that...well, have bad or dumb rhymes.

If you contrast what Broadway wants vs. what Nashville wants (and pop/rock music isn't so fussy re rhyme)...in Nashville, there are lots of SUBJECTS you "can't" write about, but your rhymes can be inexact..."near" rhymes. On Broadway (NYC), however, you can write about ANYTHING (like "Urinetown"!) but God forbid you should use anything but a PERFECT rhyme!

There are artistic reasons why not to rhyme lyrics exactly.

On the other hand, there are dopey, clumsy accidental non-rhymes.

I just was reminded today that Paul Simon's "America" doesn't rhyme AT ALL, and that it works because the melody line doesn't have repeating parts. Maybe because the singer never plans to come back.

Lisa Sun, Jan 21, 2007 at 01:59 PM EST

How about Honky Tonk Badonkadonk by Trace Atkins

That honkey tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk

Donkey Kong? Slap your grandma? It's just awful.

HD Sun, Jan 21, 2007 at 12:25 AM EST

"Brother Louie" by Stories
She was black as the night
Louie was whiter than white
Danger,danger when you taste brown sugar
Louie fell in love overnight

Jenny Sat, Jan 20, 2007 at 03:48 PM EST

I enjoy Steve Miller, but his "Take the Money and Run" probably has the worst rhyming verse in musical history:
"Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas.
You know he knows just exactly what the facts is.
He ain't gonna let those two escape justice.
He makes his living off of the people's taxes."

And in the category of "bad lyrics written just to get a rhyme," I'd pick the Eagles' "Already Gone." It's a break-up song that needed a rhyme for "you were gonna put me on a shelf" and used the ultimate put-down "And you'll have to eat your lunch all by yourself."

Phil Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 06:41 PM EST

Another classic ELP lyric - this one from "Still You Turn Me On"

"Every day a little sadder
A little madder
Someone get me a ladder"

Or, perhaps, an adder...

And this nugget is from a catchy little tune called "The Diary of Horace Wimp" by the Electric Light Orchestra:

"Horace Wimp, this is your life,
Go out and find yourself a wife.
Make a stand and be a man,
And you will have a great life plan."

Hardly what one might have expected from the guy (Jeff Lynne) who convinced Bob Dylan, Roy Orbison, Tom Petty, and George Harrison to form The Traveling Wilburys.

Melissa Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 06:15 PM EST

Yeah, that Nickelback slam would have been way tougher if I'd written "by" instead of "but."

Melissa Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 06:13 PM EST

You know the song "Photograph" but Nickelback?

The whole thing. Cheesefest.

Eric Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 05:59 PM EST

how about rhymes that rely purely on mispronunciation to rhyme: like in Poison's "Every Rose Has its Thorn"

"Every Rose has its thorn/just like every night has its dawn/just like every cowboy sings a sad sad song/every rose has its thorn"

jvee Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 05:53 PM EST

More Steve Miller (whom I adore) from the aforementioned "Take the Money and Run."

He actually matched "great big hassle" with "robbin' his castle."

Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 05:52 PM EST

I always thought the line was
"Am I a page in your history/
Boy, I don't mean to make demands"

Oh well.

Richard Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 05:48 PM EST

There are bad,forced rhymes.
There is utter pretension.
The Police in Don't Stand So Close To Me set the standard for both:

He sees her
He starts to shake he starts to cough
Just like the old man in
That famous book by Nabakov

Lucinda Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 05:34 PM EST

I was going to nominate "Abracadabra," but I see that someone has beaten me to it. Can I nominate it to the Suckiest Songs Ever list instead?

And while I find the lyrics in Jewel's "You Were Meant For Me" inane and childish from beginning to end, the worst offense would have to be:

"Put on my coat in the pouring rain
I saw a movie it just wasn't the same
'Cause it was happy and I was sad
It made me miss you oh so bad"

mark in nyc Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 04:28 PM EST

Word to your moms,
I came to drop bombs,
I got more ryhmes then the bible got psalms.

steve Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 04:23 PM EST

How about this Van Halen classic from 5150' album "Only time will tell if we stand the test of time"

Medea Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 04:08 PM EST

I love Ludacris, like, LOVE! But his rap on JD's Welcome to Atlanta:
"I get the cream, cops see me flick my beams
Im allergic to 'doc perscribed anti-histemines"
WHAT? Seriously...WHAT?

kiley Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 04:01 PM EST

does anybody notice that song, "so happy together" asks "how is the weather?" where the heck did that come from? or is it only my ears that hear that line, which comes out of left field?

Dan Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 03:15 PM EST

All time worst, brought to us by Yes, in "Love Will Find a Way":

Here is my heart
Waiting for you
Here is my song
I eat at chez nous

Love will find a way
If you want it to
Love will find a way
For me and you!

Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 02:38 PM EST

love/hate Neil Diamond's "America"
"Everywhere around the world,
They're coming to America.
Every time the flag's unfurled,
They're coming to America."
UNFURLED? AWESOME/AWFUL....but mostly I think awesome.

Stephanie Travitsky Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 01:59 PM EST

To the people who commented on Steve Miller, while he is a massive talent, unfortunately most of his songs rhyme. I think that his worst was his comeback song with Chris McCarty" "Wide River: "Wide river
She opens her mouth to the sea
Singing dear, dear ocean, now
Here is a kiss from me

And she runs like a river to the setting sun
She runs like a river that has never been won
She runs like a river that will always be free"

Then there is Fleetwood Mac's "Hold Me" written by Christie McVie and Robbie Patton:
"Can you understand me
Baby, don’t you hand me a line
Although it doesn’t matter
You and me got plenty of time

There’s nobody in the future
So baby let me hand you my love
There’s no step for you to dance to
So slip your hand inside of my glove
Hold Me
Hold Me
Hold Me"

But I think one of the all time worst is "Stumblin' In" by Chirs Norman and Suzi Quatro:

"Our love is alive and so we begin
foolishly layin' our hearts on the table, stumblin' in
Our lov

Liza Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 01:39 PM EST

Qbee- Every Rose Has it's Thorn is by Poison, not GNR.

Jim Schneider Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 01:19 PM EST

Actually I'm not sure if this is the best rhyme ever, or worst rhyme ever...from Alex Chilton ("Free Again"):

Well I made a mistake, and thought I could settle down,
Thought I could take a leash on my neck around

Kate Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 01:12 PM EST

How about LFO's "Summer Girls": There was a good man named Paul Revere/Life's so much better baby when you're near

Braxton Hicks Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 01:12 PM EST

Worst ever? It's got to be Sister Sledge's classic tale of lost romance, 'Frankie'.

"He walked me to the deli then
We sat on the roof where it all began
I looked into your big eyes and
Said to myself, We coulda had twins"

Which is a beautiful and moving story,to be sure. But girls, try though you might, twins' will never rhyme with "when","and" or "began".

This was a huge hit in the UK, but here? Not so much...

Enjoy the full cheese here -
http://youtube.com/watch?v=W2Vc_aFtnqE

Mak Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 01:02 PM EST

Err, what you HAVE to take into account, not what you hate to take into account. My bad.

Mak Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 01:01 PM EST

I'll stand up for "Sk8er Boi," kinda.

Like I already said, it gets on my nerves when people rhyme a word with the same word, but what you hate to take into account with that song is that Avril's not rhyming "boy" with "boy," she's rhyming "skater" with "see you later." So it's a slightly different situation there.

Ernesto Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 12:57 PM EST

To be honest what I found the funniest is how they have the picture of the Michael Bolton at the beginning of every page LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

QBee Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 12:55 PM EST

For pure bad rhyme, G'nR:

Every rose has its thorn
Every night has its dawn
Every cowboy sings a sad, sad, song

radioflicker Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 12:46 PM EST

Maybe not the worst rhyme (although "rain" and "again" are weak), but the worst peotic image has to be the cake that got rained on and the depression that ensued because the cook lost the recipe.

kiley Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 12:43 PM EST

akon's smack that:

Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Taebo

yeah, the metaphorical skills of this guy is friggin brilliant.

Dre Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 12:35 PM EST

How about from Kanye's first album: "ooo girrrl your breath is harsh, cover your mouth up like you got SARS!" REDICULOUS

frowny mcbeard Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 12:20 PM EST

1) BACK UP OFF "Baby Got Back." No one can impugn that song, especially considering immediately afterwards comes "My anaconda don't want none/unless you got buns, hon!" Which may be one of the BEST rhymes I've ever heard.

2) Two spring immediately to mind-

R Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly" where the only actual rhymes come in the chorus, despite what he seems to think rhyming is:

"There are miracles in life I must achieve/but first I know, it starts inside of me."

And at the very beginning, he rhymes "on" with "song." And I don't have nearly enough space to catalogue his abuses in "Trapped in the Closet."

But my personal favorite is the Doors' "Light My Fire," where it all qualifies, but the chorus rhymes fire with fire. . . three times.

Rob Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 12:07 PM EST

now all bad songs have bad lyrics, but i liked that this list has some otherwise good songs with bad lyrics.

most painful example for me: Beastie Boys' "Three Minute Rule"

People come up to me and they try to talk sh*t man /
I've been making records since you were sucking on your mother's limp d*ck

A) that doesn't even make sense.
B) Gross!
why would the beastie boys soil the amazing paul's boutique with such garbage?

colin Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 11:43 AM EST

how about o-town?

"i want it all
or nothing at all"

Stephanie Travitsky Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 11:40 AM EST

Has anyone seen the new commercial for the New York State Lottery? Well, there is this guy sitting at a table and he has this creepy Dave Grohl smile. In the background you hear "It's so nice" by Gallery, a one hit wonder band from the early 70's who sounded like a bad Neil Diamond cover band. Anyway, the chorus rhymes and it is so cheezy:
"Oh, it's so nice to be with you
I love all the things ya say and do
And it's so nice to hear you say
You're gonna please me in every way
Honey, I got the notion
You're causin' commotion in my soul."

lindsay Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 11:27 AM EST

Sugar Ray's "When It's Over" is the worst in terms of rhyming with the same word...
"When it's over, can I still come over? When it's over, is it really over?"
Seriously?

bradyphrenia Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 11:11 AM EST

sk8ter boi. worst lyrics EVER. way to rhyme "boy" with "boy," avril. brilliant.

melissa Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 10:59 AM EST

Ever since someone pointed out the cringe-inducing line 2 of the Paula Cole song "I Don't Want to Wait," it's been hard to not notice. Here's the opening verse:
So open up your morning light
And say a little prayer for I
You know that if we are to stay alive
And see the peace in every I

Maybe that second "I" is supposed to be "eye"? In any case, even without rhyming the same word, the use of "I" instead of "me" is bad enough. Similar to what M posted.

Mak Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 10:38 AM EST

I cannot STAND it when singers rhyme one word in a song with THE SAME WORD. Take this "gem" from Kanye West's mostly-good "All Falls Down":

"Now she's so insecure,
Th'concept of school seems so secure."

Rhyming insecure with secure? YOU, sir, are a wordsmith! That particular stanza also sucks because he tries to rhyme "secure" with "years" with "here" by pronouncing them all like "urrr": "securr," "yurrs," "hurr." Like I said, I actually like that song, but that piece of it is just poorly rhymed.

Sara Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 09:57 AM EST

A Kiwi friend living in Europe thinks the worst song is Danny and Armi, "I Wanna Love You Tender". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IV6rQxfk48

You love me, you wanna love me tender.
How can I be sure you're not pretender?
And if I could touch your hand,
This rock would turn to sand,
So this is where we stand.
I just want to be your loving fender.

Felicity Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 09:55 AM EST

Steve Miller has already gotten a couple of mentions, but I can't believe no one mentioned this gem:

Abra, abra-cadabra
I'm gonna reach out and grab ya

And as if that weren't bad enough, he then commits the sin of rhyming a word with itself.

paige Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 09:51 AM EST

look i loooove Madonna... but...
"I don't like cities but I love new york
Other places, make me feel like a dork"

really??? thats the best you can come up with???

jen o. Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 09:50 AM EST

i have always been bothered by the lyrics for "in the summer time" by mungo jerry:

If her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal
If her daddy's poor, just do what you feel

wtf?

mon Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 09:49 AM EST

most recently, i don't like these 2 lines because it's just using the same word to rhyme with itself...seems lazy(IMO): I could have another you in a minute/
matter fact he'll be here in a minute

From the past, you gotta love/hate this Destiny's Child classic for its clever changing of a word: can
you pay my bills
can you pay my telephone bills
can you pay my automo'bills

EP Sato Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 09:45 AM EST

Talib Kwali says "I used to have a complex about being too complex" in the song Brown Skin Lady. He rhymes "complex" with "complex", using different pronounciations making it NOT rhyme. Not the worst offense, but dude's a rapper and should know better.

KTS Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 09:44 AM EST

"I am I said. To no one there. And no one heard at all. Not even the chair."

Or something like that. Neil Diamond. The Chair? Really? Didn't hear you? I'm so shocked!

Fran Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 09:39 AM EST

Ophelia- of all the songs out there that's the one you pick?? Seriously? Those lyrics seem like a genius wrote them compared to most of the other songs mentioned.

Wire Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 09:33 AM EST

Ric Ocasek of the Cars deserves a lifetime achievement award:

HELLO AGAIN

Do you feel electric?
Do you feel loose?
Do you feel eclectic?
You wanna call a truce?

LET'S GO

She's laughing inside
Cause they can't refuse
she's so beautiful now
she doesn't wear her shoes
She doesn't like to choose

She's winding them down
on her clock machine
and she won't give up
Cause she's seventeen...

What the heck is a clock machine, anyway? And why in the world does being beautiful lead to not wearing shoes?

Silv Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 09:32 AM EST

Train's "Drops of Jupiter" - I try to get it, I really do, but: "Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know youre wrong.."
Huh?

Ken Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 09:14 AM EST

Beyonce's latest Irreplaceable and #1 single for several weeks now which goes to show how intelligent America has become. Ha! "I can get another man in a minute. Matter fact he'll be here in a minute." Brilliant! What a masterpiece. Love when artists use the same word to rhyme! Must've taken months to write that song...

almost 40 Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 09:11 AM EST

Touch that dial
Turn me on
Start me like a motor
Make me run

Turn that dial
All the way
Shoot me like a rocket
Into space
Lovin' Every Minute of It.....
by Loverboy

Galley Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 09:06 AM EST

"Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes" is a brilliant statement as I can attest. My life changed considerably for the better when I moved from North Dakota to South Carolina 18 years ago.

shannon paugh Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 08:33 AM EST

Hands down winner -- the lamest opening 2 lines ever. (The rest of the song is not great either.) Anyway, I give you Angel by The Dave Matthews Band:

I call you up
You pick up

M Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 08:07 AM EST

I know it's not pop, and I may not have it quite right, and he is known for his simplicity, but here, ladies and gentlemen, is a real howler from Johnathan Richman:

Here come the Martian Martians
They're baking up a Martian pie
I hope the Martians like me
And give some to I

Cracks me up every time...

Christopher Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 08:07 AM EST

Most aggregious use of a product in a pop song would be J.Lo's Cadillac shout-out in "Love Don't Cost a Thing". In the 80's the worst lyric seemed to be in Van Halen's "Why Can't This Be Love": "Hey I know / Only fools rush in / only time will tell / if we stand the test of time", for it's use of time twice... incredibly jarring. I cring over the attempts to fit 'Fergilicious' into rhymes. (Except the 'repeat it' line-- I thought that was witty.)

caryn Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 04:07 AM EST

Regarding the salt-n-pepa lyric from 'what a man'... whitney houston sang a song about a boyfriend stuck on an ex called 'my name is not susan'

mink Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 04:04 AM EST

Am having 80's flashbacks...
She used to be a diplomat/But now she's down the laundromat - the immortal Spandau Ballet, Highly Strung
In the back of my head I heard distant feet/Che Guevara and Debussy to a disco beat - Pet Shop Boys Left to My Own Devices - true classics
I love Walk on the Wildside...leave Lou alone heh!

NYC Girl Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 02:26 AM EST

I always thought that the line in "You'll Think of Me" was "take your CAT..." :D

Donovan Credence Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 01:56 AM EST

I love this song, but these lines in Teenage Fanclub's "The Concept" have always bugged me:

"When she's at the gig, she takes her car
And she drives us home if it is in a bar"

If she's at the gig, where's she taking her car? And that "if it is in a bar" is about as clunky as Wesley Willis.

ChuckE Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 01:43 AM EST

For utter weirdness, it's hard to top "Just like Kathie Lee needed Regis/That's the way I need Jesus." Breaks the mood just a little bit.

Another rhyme that deserves mention for being astronomically illiterate is this one from Lenny Kravitz's "Fly": "Let's go and see the stars/The Milky Way, or even Mars." Right Lenny, because Mars is SO much harder to get to than the stars.

James Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 01:38 AM EST

Juvenile's "Back That Thang Up," has already been mentioned. That reminded me of Juvenile's first hit "Huh." The entire song consists of each verse ending in "Huh."
Juvenile and Diddy are the two worst rappers ever. That's right, even worse than Vanilla Ice (and I can't stand that sucka!).

Mat Jones Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 01:19 AM EST

"He also can't stand But she never lost her head/Even when she was giving head, and neither can I, but I always thought that was because I'm an angry feminist." Feminism? HE WAS A SHE! HAVE YOU NOT LISTENED TO THE SONG?!!! Maybe you're an angry chauvinist.

gramkracka Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 12:46 AM EST

Eminem, "When I'm Gone":

"Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?"

Wait - what?

En Vague Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 12:05 AM EST

"When the dogs begin to smell her. Will she smell alone?"
Stone Temple Pilots, Plush

ophelia Fri, Jan 19, 2007 at 12:01 AM EST

Hands down... Patrick Swayze's "She's Like the Wind" from Dirty Dancing:

"Am I just fooling myself
That she'll stop the pain
Living without her
I'd go insane"

Yikes.

Brandon Thu, Jan 18, 2007 at 11:23 PM EST

Hands down - "Whatta Man," Salt 'N' Pepa.

"And yes, it's me that he's always
choosin'
With him I'm never losin',
And he knows that my name is not Susan..."

Um...what? Susan?

Ron Mwangaguhunga Thu, Jan 18, 2007 at 11:15 PM EST

Rico y Suave by Gerardo. You may want to take a shower after listening to this song:

"I'm used to good ol' fashioned
Homestyle Spanish cooking
If i try that I'll be puking"

V Thu, Jan 18, 2007 at 10:57 PM EST

Oooh, I was gonna say LFO's "Summer Girls" also!

The entire song has awful, awful lyrics. I hated that song.

jay Thu, Jan 18, 2007 at 10:51 PM EST

I think putting Mariah Carey on the list is pretty ridiculous. yeah, the line is lame, she didn't even write or sing the lyric (it's Mystical rapping it). It seems like a pretty cheap shot to me.

theBigE Thu, Jan 18, 2007 at 10:26 PM EST

I've always laughed how Nickelback is able to rhyme "sorry" with "story" in "How you remind Me." Those wacky Canucks and their ridiculous Canadian accents!

Speaking of Canucks, Sarah, that Barenaked Ladies' lyric in "One Week" referred to a chicken scare in China during the late 90's. I think a bunch of people over there died from eating contaminated fowl - don't really remember all the details.

mike Thu, Jan 18, 2007 at 10:24 PM EST

Canonfodder stole my thunder. Take the Money & Run has the worst rhyme ever.

tyler Thu, Jan 18, 2007 at 10:01 PM EST

My sister went thru a Staind faze, and
I hope you’re not intending
To be so condescending
From "Right Here"
drives me insane for some reason.

Aime Okwaho Auger Thu, Jan 18, 2007 at 09:51 PM EST

Arts, in any form, are supposed to shock or derange people. The more you attack or do critics on them, the more they are worth existing. For example, the statue of Liberty is a great work of art, it describes desire of justice and freedom but the joke is: it was put down in a land that survived on Natives genocides. Any other questions?

chris Thu, Jan 18, 2007 at 09:30 PM EST

I've always loved/hated the Jimmy Buffett Boat Drinks rhyme:

I know I should be leaving this climate.
I got a verse but can't rhyme it.

Of course, the rest of the chorus has an interesting mix of rhymes:

Twenty degress and the hockey games on.
Nobody cares; they are way too far gone,
screamin' "Boat drinks," somethin'
to keep them all warm.
This morning I shot six holes in my freezer.
I think I got cabin fever.
Somebody sound the alarm.
I'd like to go where the pace or life's slow.
Could you beam me somewhere, Mister Scott?
Any old place here on Earth or in space.
You pick the century and I'll pick the spot.

JAR Thu, Jan 18, 2007 at 09:30 PM EST

The lyrical rhyme that i absolutely hate: (and by absolutely hate i mean absolutely LOVE!):

What's wrong with the world, mama?/
People acting like they don't have no mamas.

But nothing is worst than the song in Dreamgirls, that went something like: "We are a family, our love is like a tree, hovering over me...." That's not exactly how it goes, but i did try to block most of it out...

steven Thu, Jan 18, 2007 at 09:26 PM EST

Easy..
DEAD OR ALIVE - "LOVER COME BACK TO ME"

"I've been lying here so lonely
I've been wishing you would telephone me"

Case closed.

Thu, Jan 18, 2007 at 09:18 PM EST

LFO - Summer Girls. Best. Lyrics. Ever.

Hip Hop Marmalade spic And span,
Met you one summer and it all began
You're the best girl that I ever did see,
The great Larry Bird Jersey 33
When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets
Call me Willy Whistle cause I can't speak baby
Something in your eyes went and drove me crazy
Now I can't forget you and it makes me mad,
Left one day and never came back
Stayed all summer then went back home,
Macauly Culkin wasn't Home Alone
Fell deep in love,but now we ain't speaking
Michael J Fox was Alex P Keaton
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

krushgroove Thu, Jan 18, 2007 at 09:11 PM EST

ABC - That Was Then But This Is Now:

"Can't complain, musn't grumble
Help yourself to another peace of apple crumble"

Sarah Thu, Jan 18, 2007 at 08:58 PM EST

While I have nothing against the Barenaked Ladies I've always wondered what the hell this means from "One Week":
"Chickity china the chinese chicken
You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin"
Is it a commentary on msg in Chinese food?

Jesse Thu, Jan 18, 2007 at 08:55 PM EST

Ladies and gentlemen, the immortal Rick Springfield:

You know, I feel so dirty
when they start talking cute
I wanna tell her that I love her,
but the point is probably moot

CanonFodder Thu, Jan 18, 2007 at 08:39 PM EST

Steve Miller Band's "Take The Money and Run." I cannot believe this verse didn't make the top 20:
Billy mack is a detective down in texas
You know he knows just exactly what the facts is
He aint gonna let those two escape justice
He makes his livin off of the peoples taxes

Peter Daniel Thu, Jan 18, 2007 at 08:26 PM EST

Ricky Martin's Livin La Vida Loca..
She's into superstitions black cats and voodoo dolls.
I feel a premonition that girl's gonna make me fall.
...She'll push and pull you down, livin la vida loca
Her lips are devil red and her skin's the color mocha
...Woke up in New York City in a funky cheap hotel
She took my heart and she took my money
she must've slipped me a sleeping pill

doll rhymes with fall?!?! hotel with pill!?! come on! this is one loco lyrics if i may say so.