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Worst Christmas Songs Ever?

Dec 18, 2006, 03:17 PM | by Gilbert Cruz

Categories: Music

144041__simply_l It's easy enough to identify the best Christmas tunes (like every track on the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack, perhaps?), but worst is a bit harder. The self-sacrificing foks at Retrocrush, however, have made their picks and posted the videos. Clearly, Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmas Time" (pictured) is wretched; I imagine those unstoppable synth lines are what it would sound like if one of those little worms from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan were put into my ear. But NewSong's "The Christmas Shoes"? That's a new one. And what a video: the kid is dressed in a Dickensian urchin cap, his mother in a pilgrim hat, and apparently -- if we go by the gigantic bottle of nasal spray by her bed -- she's dying of a really intense sinus infection. I can't think straight after watching that. Help me PopWatchers. What are your choices for the Worst Christmas Songs Ever?

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Todd Wed, Jan 7, 2009 at 10:33 AM EST

I agree that not only is "Christmas Shoes" the worst Christmas song ever, it is the worst song ever (followed closely by "Jesus Take the Wheel"). I honestly thought that it was a parody when I first heard those overwrought vocals and almost wretched when I heard the children's chorus. It sounded like a song Eric Cartman would do. I'm waiting for the sequel in which the kid runs out of the store and hands the box of shoes to his (very healthy) mother who says, "Good job, Jimmy," and then goes back in the store to return them for cash and then Jimmy and his mom go on their grifting (not gifting) way.

Janet Wed, Dec 24, 2008 at 03:38 PM EST

That wretched song about the shoes. Your mom is dying, dickweed. Maybe it'd be better if she got some bedrest instead of being forced to walk around in your crappy present.

ncwoman Wed, Dec 17, 2008 at 12:27 PM EST

While I love most Christmas music, my "worst" list includes mostly secular "novelty" crap:
The Happy Elf by Harry Connick Jr.
Barking Dogs Jingle Bells
Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

Of the "serious" stuff I can't stand, it's "The Christmas Shoes" and "Christmas in America". It's the forced and manipulative sentiment of those 2 songs that make me want to gag.

Stegokitty Sat, Dec 13, 2008 at 11:30 AM EST

Hey! Wait! I've got a new complaint! Sorry for being so overly involved in this discussion, but being a music lover, a singer, and above all, a Christian, Christmas music has a particularly special place in my life. I'm not opposed to Santa and Rudolf and Frosty, though they are technically pointless, but I am opposed to the singing of particularly religious songs and deleting the religious nature thereof. Case in point, The Little Drummer Boy by Bob Seger, where "baby Jesu, pa rum pum pum pum, I am a poor boy too ..." is replaced by "little baby ...". Then there's the avoidance of singing "Jesus, Lord at thy birth" by Stevie Nicks in her version of "Silent Night", where she simply repeats "sleep in heavenly peace". Listen folks, it's a holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. If you don't want to sing about Jesus, dont' sing a religous song. At least Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond had the decency to keep it real when they sang Jesus songs, even though they are unbelievers.

Stegokitty Sat, Dec 13, 2008 at 10:16 AM EST

"Jesus Christ"??? That's a valid way to open a defense of Christmas songs? Trying even figure out what you were saying within a plethora of run-n sentences, bad grammar/spelling, and other silliness, I note that the only place any form of the word "drug" was used was by yourself and one other person as in being drug out into the street. Did the voices tell you to look specifically for a page describing the worst Christmas songs? That's how I found this place. I love good, well-made Christmas songs. And I'm sure that some of the songs that I despise are loved by others. It's simply an opinion. Land of the free, home of the brave, remember? Or would you rather that we all be cained for expressing opinions? Or worse, that we'd have to listen to you sing "Christmas Shoes"!

lotterytixx Thu, Dec 11, 2008 at 04:25 PM EST

Jesus christ, what is with all you guys? You're all so rediculous.

Why do you have to be hatin on all these songs?

I LOVE "Grown up christmas list" and "christmas shoes" and "where are you christmas" and even "mary did you know". they're all really good songs with a good message. I'm a singer myself, and I sing to all these songs alot, and you know as well as I do that if you were singing a good song and everyone else was making fun of it saying the only logical explanation for coming up with it was from being drugged, you would get upset about it. That's just being so immature. You all seriously need to just grow up..

Stegokitty Thu, Dec 11, 2008 at 01:33 PM EST

Part 2 (see below for Part 1:
Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town – Jackson 5; Silent Night – Stevie Nicks
Sleigh Ride – Johnny Mathis; The First Noel – n’Sync (the overuse and abuse of vocal curly-cues is an abomination to any song and this one is loaded with them. If anyone could hear the lead singer in this song, minus the accompaniment, it would be recognized as being one of the most hideous songs ever recorded.); Up on a Housetop – Gene Autry; Winter Wonderland – Aretha Franklin (as we ??? by the fire?); Winter Wonderland – Elvis Presley

As the Proverb goes, there's a time to every purpose under heaven. Christmas isn't time to piis and moan:
Father Christmas – The Kinks; Feed the World – Band Aid; Happy Christmas (War Is Over) – John Lennon; I Believe in Father Christmas – ELP; Some Day At Christmas – Stevie Wonder

Last (though certainly not least) we have the Pelagian "Christmas is really about being nice" crap song Christmas Shoes – Newsong (Bob Carlisle).

Cheers!

Stegokitty Thu, Dec 11, 2008 at 01:22 PM EST

I've been working on this list over the past two years, so I may have to make two or three posts, depending on the word count:

DREADFUL SONGS/VERSIONS:
All I Want for Christmas Is You – Mariah Carey; Baby It’s Cold Outside – Rod Stewart & Dolly Parton (or the one by Dean Martin & Matrina McBride); Deck the Halls – Michael MacDonald; Frosty the Snowman – Jackson 5(or versions by Chuck Berry, or Beach Boys); Happy Christmas (War Is Over) – Melissa Etheridge; Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas – Chrissie Hynde (the horror ... the horror); Here Comes Santa Claus – Elvis Presley; I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus – Jackson 5 (an audibly painful version); It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year – Johnny Mathis; Joy To the World – Michael W. Smith; Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow – Aaron Neville; Little Drummer Boy – Bing Crosby & David Bowie (ultra creepy); The Man With All the Toys – Beach Boys; Santa Baby – Ertha Kitt (this is not sexy, folks. Madonna's is better); to be cont.

nymphomercial Sat, Dec 6, 2008 at 01:19 PM EST

Agree with Kevin. 'The Christmas Shoes' is the worst...song...ever. You MUST check out this parody called 'The Christmas Thong':
http://thefump.com/fump.php?id=1120

arsenic Thu, Dec 4, 2008 at 08:17 PM EST

If anybody has an iPhone Kasio Kristmas is giving out free ringtones at their website. http://www.kasiokristmas.com

Kevin Thu, Dec 4, 2008 at 05:52 PM EST

Ready? Here we go...

'Christmas Shoes' is not only the worst Christmas song of all time, but he WORST SONG OF ALL TIIME! (sorry Starship and 'We Built This City') When I hear all that contrived, saccharin schmaltz oozing from the radio, designed by the writers to tug at the heartstrings of the simple and feeble-minded, I ask why someone couldn't have crashed a plane into them! Why stop at just a poor, dirty boy with prodigious heart and a dying mother? He couldn't limp through the store on a crutch in mismatched shoes? No bleeding gums and a hateful teacher at school with a wandering hand? How about a finger that falls off from leprosy when he tries to pay? I hope the sequel catches us up on the Enron stock his grandparents left him for college, a kitten that was half run over by a car and forgot the 'meow-ning' of Christmas, and his little sister who isn't making too much sense since the chemo.

Thanks for the space to rant. Following are some honorable mentions... : )

Kevin Thu, Dec 4, 2008 at 05:47 PM EST

Continued-my runner-ups...

Chrissy Hynde and the Pretenders slept their way through an unfortunate "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas". After hearing it I want to punish my ears for listening. My personal fantasy is God makes her sing it right before letting her in to heaven (and gives her a much-needed bath and haircut).

Britney Spears made a Christmas song! Picture yuletide 'Cop Rock'. You just have to know they fired the guy that green-lighted this. Made me plot her breakdown and bald head long before she did.

And like a turd that won't flush, special mention to: 'The 12 Days of Christmas' It just keeps on keepin' on.

I'll put all the aforementioned in to perspective by stating that my favorite Christmas album is Barbara Streisand's (grew up on it from my parent's - but I will check in to that whole Jew thing) and my favorite song is 'River' - a properly depressing holiday song good only when sung by anyone but it's author. : )

Cheers to all! Kev

Regardless Thu, Dec 4, 2008 at 01:21 AM EST

I like most Christmas songs, but most is not all.

The songs I find annoying are as following:
-- The Chipmunk Song (I saw the movie on the Chipmunks, and the drama in the movie was excessive)
-- "I Want A Hippo For Christmas" (name may be wrong but you get the idea)
-- Jackson 5 version of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"
-- "Dominick The Donkey" from Monte Lou
-- The Elf soundtrack version of "Baby It's Cold Outside" (I like Vanessa William's version the best)
-- Some of Trans-Siberian Orchestra songs such as "Christmas Jam"
-- "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth"
-- Some of country Christmas songs (not all)
-- Slower versions of "Santa Baby" tend to be iffy although more upbeat versions are fine to listen to

For the most part, I like holiday music. I like 90+ percent of all holiday music, and this list is just to give you a basic idea of what I don't like.

Todd Tue, Dec 2, 2008 at 08:32 PM EST

That Kasio Kristmas stuff is the craziest Christmas music I have ever heard. It's by far the best new CD to come out for the Holidays. I've been playing it for my art class and everyone goes crazy!

Terrill Thu, Nov 27, 2008 at 03:49 PM EST

I love all music! "Christmas Shoes is my favorite song because it shows that people have compassion for others. My mom died in September of this year and that song touches my heart every time I hear it.

If you listen to the words the man that helped him pay had been only thinking of his problems until he realized that this child's mom was dying on Christmas eve. Happy Holidays.

Marley Thu, Nov 27, 2008 at 02:43 AM EST

Hello? "Christmas in July'', worst song ever. Those opening words ''you are putting up your Xmas tree toe arly". Send shivers dowm my spine and I mean that in a bad way.

Kiid Christmas Tue, Nov 25, 2008 at 08:38 AM EST

I find nothing wrong wit Christmas shoes. I don't see why you PEOPLE say it's bad i find it touching.

L in Nebraska Sun, Nov 23, 2008 at 11:51 PM EST

1. Last Christmas by George Michael, I almost wretch before I can turn the radio station. I pray every year that this will be the "last Christmas" I have to hear that dreadful song.
2. Feliz Navidad- it is so annoying and then it gets stuck in your head!
3. War is Over by John Lennon. The background vocals of Yoko screaching in the background is worse than nails on a chalkboard.
4. Christmas Shoes. Yes, I agree it is a nice sentiment, but the song itself is just plain annoying.
5. Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time, sorry Paul, not with that song we aren't!

Jane Sun, Nov 23, 2008 at 03:48 PM EST

The barking dogs' version of Jingle Bells is no longer entertaining.

Brigid Sat, Nov 22, 2008 at 02:11 PM EST

as soon as i read the headline, i thought of that obnoxious paul mccartney synth song. the drummer boy song with david bowie runs a close second though.

arsenic Tue, Nov 18, 2008 at 02:11 PM EST

Dude, that Kasio Kristmas stuff kicks butt. Thanks for the info. I bought one off their website at http://www.kasiokristmas.com

Cletus Tue, Nov 18, 2008 at 12:46 PM EST

I heard this weird rap version of frosty the snowman by a group called Kasio Kristmas. It sounded like Beck and the Beasti Boys on Mars. It also kind of reminded me of that cheesey band Flight of the Concords. I gues you could type in their name on myspace if you wanted to hear it

Hallie Fri, Oct 10, 2008 at 03:13 AM EST

Every time I hear "Bells will be ringing..." in Jon Bon Jovi's scratchy voice--actually, in ANYBODY'S voice--I want to plug my ears and pray that it ends soon!

Also, I'm a huge fan of Mannheim Steamroller's Christmas music--and, contrary to what someone else here said, their songs are NOT that easy to reproduce on a keyboard; I know, my husband and I have played their music together, he on the keys and I on the flute--like I said, I'm a huge fan of their Christmas music, but their version of "Carol of the Bells"? For that, they just need to be slapped!!!

And "Blue Christmas"--by any artist, but ESPECIALLY Elvis Presley--makes me wanna go absolutely HOMICIDAL!!! I cannot STAND that freakin song!!! Every time I hear it, I'm seized by the urge to smash the radio to smithereens on the floor!!!

summer Sun, May 11, 2008 at 02:55 PM EST

iam sorry but your website is kinda of bad there is nothing to do on it

summer Sun, May 11, 2008 at 02:54 PM EST

iam sorry but your website is kinda of bad there is nothing to do on it

elvis Fri, Dec 28, 2007 at 10:04 PM EST

first of all christmas was stolen by the catholics from the pagan holiday yule. so you can take your rotted xmas songs and jam them up your rectal region.

Sun, Dec 23, 2007 at 03:21 PM EST

AJ, there is no way a song can ruin someone's faith in Jesus. IT IS JUST A SONG!!!!!!!!! If you must know, I personally enjoy Christmas Shoes, Oh Holy Night, and Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer, but the worst one to me is by far... I can't think of one off the top of my head. I am the kind of person who enjoys most songs, and despises few, except those dirty swearing songs like I'm in Love with a Stripper and Does your Chain Hang Low.

ekkostar Sun, Dec 23, 2007 at 10:44 AM EST

I hate how people pretend that the Robert Palmer version of 'Baby It's Cold Outside' doesn't exist and they never play it. Singlehandedly the BEST version of any Christmas song ever.

Michael T Caughey Sat, Dec 22, 2007 at 03:20 PM EST

"Christmas Shoes" is dreadful..to be followed by "Blue Christmas" (or ANY Christmas sing by Elvis for that matter). "Santa Baby"...horrible! "Grandma Got Run Over", "The Chipmunk Song", adn most "novelty" Christmas songs (including "I'm Getting Nothing") all BAD.

Niels Sat, Dec 22, 2007 at 09:25 AM EST

"Driving Home From Christmas" is the worst Christmas song I've ever heard.

Merry Christmas everyone,
Niels from Denmark

Stever Martin Thu, Dec 20, 2007 at 10:12 AM EST

Dean Martin's "Rudy the Red-Beaked Reindeer". God is there anyone's voice more annoying than his? And then he has the nerve to sing part of it in his broken German? Won't you guide mein sleigh tonight? I'm sick of how he thinks his voice is suave and debonair. He butchers that song. Butchers it. Dean..wherever you are..you sucked as a singer.

sarah Thu, Dec 20, 2007 at 01:46 AM EST

i would just like to say that the song
i want to buy my mom the shoes was the most tuching song that I have ever heard and would like to know how I can get a copy of it so if anyone would know please let me know

Jess Tue, Dec 18, 2007 at 04:29 PM EST

I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but just because people aren't Christians doesn't mean they can't sing Christmas songs..."Deck the Halls" is a PAGAN song...and no one knows when Jesus was born, the church constantly stole other religions' holidays.
I for one like "The Christmas Shoes"...it's sweet and heart-breaking at the same time to hear about a child who loves his mother so much that he tries to do everything he can for her.
As for songs I detest, it'd have to "All I want for Christmas is you" by Mariah Carey and any other song where the vowels are over-done "Oh-oh-oh-oh Ni-i-i-i-i-iiiight Diii-ii-iii-viiiineeeeee"...someone shoot them so they'll stop stuttering!!!
With that said, Happy Hanukkah, Blessed Yule, Happy Christmas and Happy Kwanzaa and whatever holidays I missed ;)

Grinchy Mon, Dec 17, 2007 at 07:27 PM EST

trolly Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 10:16 AM EST

Is the Paul McCartney song you are all talking about the one that starts off "so this is christmas....." or are you talking about another one? If so, please state a verse or chorus from it so I know which one you are referring to.

Trolly, that isn't Paul, that's John singing "Happy Christmas(war is over)". Paul sings "Wonderful Christmas Time".

Grinchy Mon, Dec 17, 2007 at 07:26 PM EST

trolly Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 10:16 AM EST

Is the Paul McCartney song you are all talking about the one that starts off "so this is christmas....." or are you talking about another one? If so, please state a verse or chorus from it so I know which one you are referring to.

Trolly, that isn't Paul, that's John singing "Happy Christmas(war is over)". Paul sings "Wonderful Christmas Time".

mariz Sat, Dec 15, 2007 at 03:06 AM EST

nice one... hope to have more of this...

Brett Fri, Dec 14, 2007 at 10:24 AM EST

I'm not to distract from Christmas Shoes. It's so bad it's bad. But, it MUST have a following. People I don't like, but a following nonetheless.

My personal worst, after a LOT of thought, is the cover of "These Are a Few of My Favorite Things" by Herb Alpert. It starts out with a sucky choral, and then it starts with a cymbal that had to be played by a monkey, then the stacatto trumpet, making you feel like shooting yourself. If that's not enough, it then starts sounding like you are shopping in SteinMart, with the elevator music feel. Just when you think the misery is over, it fades out, then comes back not only with a vengence, but with an added bonus: the background music for the James Bond Theme (listen to it if you don't believe me). Then, it sounds like Liberace came back from the grave to to do a cameo, and then the oompa-oompa-oompa-oompa of the same stacatto trumpet and cymbals. It is SO AWFUL, that it's good. Kinda like PM's "Simply Having.." GOTTA check it out!

AC Thu, Dec 13, 2007 at 12:18 PM EST

"Christmas Shoes" is the most dreadful tune ever! It sends everyone in my family into fits of rage whenever it comes on! We can't change the channel fast enough!

Joe Thu, Dec 13, 2007 at 10:48 AM EST

The all time worst! Baby, It's Cold Outside - Rod Stewart & Dolly Parton

Kelly Tue, Dec 11, 2007 at 08:58 AM EST

I agree that Christmas shoes is a really bad Christmas song, however, I think a new one has just taken the top honors. "Same Old Lang Syne" is by far the absolute worst Christmas song ever imagined. #1 You can't even understand what the guy is saying, he has a horrible voice. #2 The song has no poetry whatsoever. He sings about checking out and bagging up the groceries. WHO CARES!!! Oh man is it terrible.
I will agree with some of you that Billy Mack's Christmas song from Love Actually is great! "If you really love Christmas come on and let it snow. . . Ouch!" Happy Holidays!!!

Kathe Tue, Dec 11, 2007 at 08:29 AM EST

I cannot believe the cruel comments made concerning the timeless classic "Christmas Shoes". Have you people no gratitude for this unique gift from the musical heavens? It happens to be one of my friend's all-time favorite Christmas songs. She considers it to be not only incredibly beautiful, but also heartbreakingly realistic. She must be right, because one of her very favorite singers is Wayne Newton. Now that proves she has flawless taste.

Tue, Dec 11, 2007 at 08:27 AM EST

The worst rendition Christmas song without a question is O Holy Night (Love the song) performed(?) by Mariah Carey.

It sounds like she's strangling a cat while scraping her fingers down the chalkboard! It is the worst of the worst

MJC Thu, Dec 6, 2007 at 04:53 PM EST

Obviously, the Christmas Shoes song is the worst song ever written. Any time it comes on the radio, my mind starts hatching explanations for the plot. My favorite is that the boy is going from store to store collecting various pieces of women's clothing for his transvestite father, who is ashamed to do his own shopping.

I am also inspired to write my own parody, though with completely original music. I'd still find a gruff-voiced man to sing it though, so it would sound vaguely close to the original in style. Right now all I have is a title - "The Christmas Bra."

Bobby B Wed, Dec 5, 2007 at 12:31 AM EST

The Donkey Song, "Domonic the Italian Christmas Donkey" by Lu Monte is not just a great Christmas song but one of the greatest songs of all time. In college I woke up to that song as my alarm clock, and its up beet humor was just the right thing to start the day. The only people who hate that song are Anti Italian-Amarican-Semites, and dont have to listen to that song, or eat real pizza, ever again. We will let the white man make Pappa Johns for you, so eat you crap and lay off of my Donk.

Fri, Nov 30, 2007 at 12:49 PM EST

That "merry Christmas" song by The Waitresses is a great period piece. It reminds you of what life was like before i-pods, cell-phones and computers up the ying-yang.

Hate O Holy Night. Sorry

O Night Divine . . .
O-oo Ni--ii-ght Divine.

Huh?

Lana Thu, Nov 29, 2007 at 02:31 PM EST

How about that Christmas song about the Christmas Donkey? I can't think of the name right now. I heard it for the first time last year. At first it was so stupid it was funny, but now...

AJ Mon, Nov 26, 2007 at 11:33 AM EST

I just heard "Christmas Shoes" for the first time. Just when I thought the song couldn't be any worse, a children's choir broke into song. I then immediately googled "worst christmas songs ever". I think this song has ruined Christmas for me forever. In fact, this song has destroyed my faith in god. How could a merciful god ever allow a song like this to plague the human race. I mean sure there is war, disease, poverty....but up until now I believed they were all part of God's masterplan. However for the life of me I can not see how God can infect an already suffering population with "Christmas Shoes". Sweet Jesus, I think I'm going to be sick.

designerdiana Tue, Nov 20, 2007 at 10:56 AM EST

Hands-down it's "Christmas Shoes" - I can just picture the men in suits sitting around the conference table calculating how they could wring every ounce of manipulation out of this over-the-top piece of schlock. I refuse to be affected by it. I recognize it at its first strains and slam the radio off as fast as I possibly can.

Barbra Streisand's "Favorite Things" - not a Christmas song, all the joy got sucked from it.

Any Christmas song version sung by people who do not believe in Christ. Is it just for the money? Commercial success and recognition? If you don't believe in what you're singing about, how can it be meaningful? Questioning their motivations makes these versions impossible to enjoy.

Bugsy Sat, Nov 17, 2007 at 10:09 AM EST

The absolute worst Christmas song ever is "Light a Single Candle," sung by Anne Cochran and written by radio DJ Delilah and Jim Brickman. Every time I hear the line "with a cup of Christmas tea" it reminds me of background music on one of those old international coffee commercials ("what was the name of that waiter?...Jean Luc!")

Courtney Mon, Jan 1, 2007 at 11:33 AM EST

How can you not like christmas songs???? Sure they can get annoying and some will put you to sleep but the idea is to feel the joy of christmas the whole giving and being kind theme. For example, Christmas Shoes is a very depressing song but that has probably happened to someone and it talks about the christmas spirit. The little boy wants to buy some shoes for his mom and the cashier allows him to take the shoes even though he doesn't have enough money. Christmas songs are supposed to make people happy and I don't understand how anyone can criticize a christmas song.

aron Fri, Dec 22, 2006 at 04:52 PM EST

"All i want for christmas is you" is probably the worst christmas song.

Phil Fri, Dec 22, 2006 at 01:46 AM EST

I just heard a new low at the supermarket
"Santa Claus is Coming on a Boogie Woogie Choo Choo Train"
I thought I was going to expel an olestra paintball on the spot

Bruce Springsteen
Wham / George Michael
Mariah Carey
Barbra Streisand
Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
Two Front Teeth
Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Santa Baby
Toyland
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
The Little Drummer Boy
My Favorite Things
Let It Snow as done by Vaughn Monroe
O Come Immanuel as done by Annie Haslam
(who thought she should rewrite the lyrics of this 150 year old song)
Christmas Wrapping by the Waitresses
The Christmas 45 by Fear (I needn't name it)
Run Rudolph Run (100% Chuck Berry, 0% Christmas)

I'm entirely burned out on, and hope to never again hear
Jingle Bell Rock
Rockin Around the Christmas Tree
White Christmas
The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting)

I've never heard Christmas Shoes or Christmas In America,
perhaps because I boycott commercial radio, but they certainly sound wretched

I hope that before I die I get to hear, at least once, James Brown's
"Santa Claus Go Straight To The Ghetto".
And the thought of Porky Pig doing "Blue Christmas" brings tears of laughter to my eyes.


Daisy Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 09:29 PM EST

I LIKE Same Old lang Syne by Dan Fogelburg despite the fact that most people don't buy beer at a liquor store. Who doesn't have an old love they would like to drink with at Christmas!

I HATE Christmas Shoes- schlock! Alvin and the chipmunks also needs to go!

350stock Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 07:31 PM EST

"Christmas Shoes" I have never heard, but just readinbg the lyrics was enough. Yuck! The song I absolutely detest beyond all others is "Grown Up Christmas List". Why the hell David Foster produced this crap is incomprehensible. Unfortunately my favorite singer has it recorded on his Christmas album and I have my CD player programmed to skip that track. I have been dying to discuss how much I HATE this song on his fan board, but I didn't dare for fear that I would be verbally eviserated. Thanks for allowing me to vent here.

Julie Jensen Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 07:14 PM EST

How horrible! This song has been helpful in tears that are needed in grieving. I thought I was done with grieving but have found that I am still sharing this wonderful thing with my family. Last Christmas Eve the last words I heard my sister say were "I'll call you tomorrow". Forty-five minutes later we got a call that she was in the hospital. At 12:05 a.m. she died. So for all you that are sarcastic maybe you should just all get a little Christmas spirit--don't all adults know that Santa isn't real but still like to watch all the Hallmark programs?!

Caeleigh Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 06:59 PM EST

I never thought I'd be dogging any member of The Beatles. They are my boys! but I have got to say I can no longer stand John Lennon's "So This Is Christmas." I do like all the part he sings but when, oh my god, Yoko chimes in, it's like nails on chalkboard and it needs to stop! Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer needs to die too. It had it's moment in the 80's but enough is enough people. Let it die, let it die, let it die.

krista Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 06:51 PM EST

This should be a Christmas past time. This season my husband and I have been compiling Christmas songs for a CD titled "From the Sublime to the Ridiculous: Songs You Love and Love to Hate". In his unbelievable collection he has such crapclassics as:
Jingle-O the Brownie
I Want a Hippopotomus For Christmas &
I Want an Elephant For Christmas
The Christmas Polka
Mel Blanc singing as: Tweetie Bird, Speedy Gonzalez and others.
dogs barking Jingle Bells and many more.
I actually like "All I Want For Christmas is You" but not Pariah's version. I prefer the version sung on the Love Acutally Soundtrack by the little girl. My husband loves the Billy Mack song.
Personal favs are The Reindeer Mambo and O Holy Night, but the worst song ever is Christmas Shoes. It sparks loathing in me with the heat of a supernova.
Thank you to whomever for reminding me about Fairy Tale of New York. A must have for our CD.

mreazea Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 06:37 PM EST

Never heard the shoe song (good thing it seems), but 'Grandma got run over by a reindeer' makes me hope I have a stroke to put me out of my misery.

Christina Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 06:19 PM EST

The most aggravating is 'Christmas Shoes', although Bruce Springsteen's Christmas songs grind my teeth too. Also, I'm sorry, George Straits 'Christmas Cookies' gets too much airplay.

The greatest Christmas albums are the three by Transiberian Orchestra and John Denver and the Muppets (a good mix of comedy and serious songs).

Amanda Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 05:58 PM EST

"Christmas Shoes"? Yeah, worst song ever. The little con artist gets the guy to pay for those shoes & then probably sold them at the pawn shop down the street so he could buy cigarettes.

Ray Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 05:18 PM EST

Worst Christmas CD ever is the California Raisins Christmas, especially if one has to listen to it in a non-stop, continuous loop in a retail environment. My coworkers and I smashed the CD into about 10 pieces on December 26 and put them into a picture frame which also said, "We survived Christmas 1990!"

Jessica Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 05:13 PM EST

The two worst offenders are Paul McCartney's "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas-time" and the one about the Christmas Shoes--both completely sappy and ridiculous.

One of my favorites is Sleigh Ride by The Ronettes...

Tammy Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 05:04 PM EST

Anything with Willam Hung!!! My goodness I can not stand that. Everything he sings is bad. Why Accu-radio Christmas pop keeps playing his songs is beyond me!

Chuck IN DC Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 04:47 PM EST

I live in DC and "Its christmas in washington" makes me ashamed to live in washington. I feel sorry for whoever wrote it though, because she made many people want to move out of dc. I leave everyone else with this question, Does the rest of the country get tortured by this song????

TommyK Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 04:38 PM EST

The "Christmas Shoes" song is, bar none, the worst piece of garbage ever spewed forth from an "artist". May the author of that piece of trite songwriting rot in whatever hell they believe in.

I realize that it's not a Christmas song per se, but Adam Sandlers "The Chanakkah (sp) Song" is one of my favorite holiday songs of all time.

The Vince Guraldi Trio - A Charlie Brown Christmas - classic stuff.

And I don't care what anyone says, "Wonderful Christmas Time" by Sir Paul is a great tune!

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to one and all!

Julie Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 04:02 PM EST

Seriously, no one has mentioned the Jackson Five version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" yet???? Also, "Little Drummer Boy" is sheer tedium. And I can't think of a punishment good enough for any pop diva that butchers "O Holy Night," which is the most beatiful Christmas song ever. Most secular Christmas songs are at least mildly annoying, but it can't get any worse than "Last Chrismas" by George Michael.

John Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 03:24 PM EST

I apparently have been so far blessed to not hear "Christmas Shoes". One of the perks of being stationed in Germany. It sounds like it would easily replace my #1 loathed song of "Little St. Nick" by the Beach Boys. I get pissed off "this time each year" because of this song. I have removed this song from my MP3 player until William Shatner releases his Christmas album (he is Jewish too) with it included. I removed a few others this year that I deemed unworthy of being good Christmas music. "Macarena Christmas" is now history. What is wrong with singing in your native tongue? Worked for the first version of Macarena! Removed "Ding Dong, Merrily on High" by Roger Whitaker. This version badly needed a caffeine drip, No Doze, and a Red Bull chaser. And I finally removed all my Christmas songs recorded by Michael Bolton, this was just because. If I want to hear any of "his" songs, I will just find it done by the original artist.

I have decided to keep all my songs from Trans-Siberian Orchestra. I especially enjoy "Christmas Eve - Sarajevo 12-24". I also am keeping the Glenn Miller Orchesta Christmas music. Apparently I have an affection for instrumental music. These are just my favs, but there are others that I am keeping.

If I can find out the music that went with last year's Christmas lights video, I would get it in a heartbeat. Until then, I have the video.

Froehe Weihnachten vom Deutschland. (Merry Christmas from Germany)

Jennyferr Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 02:32 PM EST

Jesus is the reason for the season. It's because of his birth that we celebrate Christmas. When people die they will either enter heaven or hell, and you can't decide after your death where you'll go. And whever you end up, that's where you'll be forever and ever and ever. No end to it. Our life on earth is short and sweet. Life after death is eternal, which is hard to understand or comprehend in our lifetime.

If you want to go to heaven, you have to accept Jesus into your heart before you die. Otherwise, you'll go to hell where you will burn and suffer forever with demons. Why would anyone want to go to hell? You do have a choice. Why wait?

Accept Jesus into your heart today and know for sure that you are going to go to heaven. It's simple and you can do it right at your computer right now.

Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven. You'll still sin and make mistakes in life - all humans do. No one is perfect. But Jesus forgives our sins when we ask for forgiveness. Only he can forgive us - not priests. And we can pray directly to Jesus - not to a dead saint.

Jesus said: "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father but by me." (John 14:6)

Good works cannot save you.

"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Trust Jesus Christ today! Here's what you must do:

ADMIT YOU ARE A SINNER.
"For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;" (Romans 3:23)

"Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:" (Romans 5:12)

"If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us." (1 John 1:10)

BE WILLING TO TURN FROM SIN (REPENT):
Jesus said: "I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish." (Luke 13:5)

"And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent:" (Acts 17:30)

BELIEVE that Jesus Christ died for you, was buried, and rose from the dead.
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16)

"But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners. Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

"That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved." (Romans 10:9)

Through prayer, invite Jesus into your life to become your personal Saviour.
"For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation." (Romans 10:10)

"For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." (Romans 10:13)

You can pray out loud if you are alone or to your self without speaking by saying this prayer:

Dear God, I am a sinner and need forgiveness. I believe that Jesus Christ shed His precious blood and died for my sin. I am willing to turn from sin. I now invite Christ to come into my heart and life as my personal Saviour. Amen.

"But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:" (John 1:12)

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." (2 Corinthians 5:17)


If you have received Jesus Christ as your Saviour, as a Christian you should:

Read your Bible every day to get to know Christ better. If you don't have a Bible, go online to www.biblegateway.com and using "THE MESSAGE" "NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION" or "LIVING BIBLE" translations are good for new Christians because they use modern day wording and no "thee" "thou" type old language.

"Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." (2 Timothy 2:15)

"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path." (Psalms 119:105)

Talk to God in prayer every day. (aka pray)
"And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive." (Matthew 21:22)

"Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." (Philippians 4:6)

Be baptized, worship, fellowship, and serve with other Christians in a church where Christ is preached and the Bible is the final authority.
"Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:" (Matthew 28:19)

"Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching." (Hebrews 10:25)

"All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:" (2 Timothy 3:16)

Tell others about Christ.
"And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature." (Mark 16:15)

"For though I preach the gospel, I have nothing to glory of: for necessity is laid upon me; yea, woe is unto me, if I preach not the gospel!" (1 Corinthians 9:16)

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek." (Romans 1:16)

MJ Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 02:18 PM EST

"Wonderful Christmas Time" can only be described as awful by people that don't have any Christmas spirit. C'mon! It's Christmas! The song feels like Christmas!

Mark Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 01:55 PM EST

I dont like thinking about worse songs at Christmas as Christmas was ment to be a positive thing. I like Johnny Cash's Christmas Guest that he and Grandpa Jones
wrote.
I also like John Berry's and Martina Mcbrides versions of Oh Holy Night and Mark Lowerys Mary Did You Know.
Anyone who has ever heard these songs and doesnt like them, deserves a lump of coal for Christmas.

rachel Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 01:55 PM EST

For all of those who hate Christmas Shoes and Mary did you Know have you ever thought about how there would be no Christmas without CHRIST? He is the only real reason for the season. In Christmas shoes the mother may have died but the little boy got his wish. His mother was beautiful and I believe she did meet Jesus. Christmas is a day of wonderful celebration. We wouldn't be here without the love of Christ. I pray that you all have a change of heart. Merry Christmas and God Bless!

Paul Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 01:49 PM EST

I hate the following Christmas songs:

Jingle Bells
Frosty the Snowman
Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer
Charlie Brown Christmas Song
White Christmas
Silent Night
Joy to the World
We Wish You a Merry Christmas
Holy Night
Away in a Manger
The First Noel
Angels we have heard on high
Where are you Christmas (Celine Dion)
Jingle Bell Rock
Holly Jolly Christmas
Santa Claus is Coming To Town
Blue Christmas
Barking dog song
Twelve Days of Christmas
Elmer Fudd song
White Christmas
Merry Christmas Darling
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Santa Baby
Sleigh Ride
Santa Looked A Lot Like Daddy
All I want for Christmas is you
Not Tonight Santa
Run Rudolph Run
The Christmas Song
Santa got lost in Texas
Santa got stuck in my chimney
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
Dominick the donkey
Deck the halls
Adam Sandler's Chanukah song
Bandaids "Do they know it's christmas"
Greatest time of the year
Mary did you know?
Paul McCartneys and all Beatles Xmas songs
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Happy New Year
Auld Lang Sye
Any song that starts with "Merry Christmas"
Love on Layaway
John Lennon's xmas - war is over song
Have a Funky Funky Christmas
Little Drummer Boy
Any and all instrumental xmas songs
I Hope I Sell a Lot of Records at Christmastime
That Holiday Feeling
The Brady's Christmas song
The bell that couldn't jingle.
I Wish It Could Be A Wombling Merry Christmas Everyday
Let's Light the Christmas Tree
Let's Party
No Child Should Ever Cry on Christmas
Marshmellow World
My December
The Greatest Gift of All
Tenessee Christmas
Mistletoe and Holly
Mistress for Christmas
The Night Before Christmas
The Night After Christmas
What Christmas means to me
I've Got my love to keep me warm
Christmas presents
Warm and Fuzzy
Jesus take the wheel
Last Christmas
Mad World
Power of Love
A Lover's Christmas Carol

THIS BEING SAID, I DO LIKE SOME XMAS SONGS, JUST A FEW - HERE THEY ARE

I WANT A HIPPOTAMOUS FOR CHRISTMAS (only song that makes me cry everytime)

MY GROWN UP CHRISTMAS LIST

MY FAVORITE THINGS (Streisand at her best)

CHRISTMAS SHOES for that girl's mom (always makes me smile - she gets her shoes in the end - timing isn't always what we think it's going to be but god knows and her mommy had a new set of shoes for her funeral, which is very important, great song, definite classic)

Sher Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 01:37 PM EST

worst song: Christmas shoes. This song is just stupid. You can't meet Jesus ever. It is soooo depressing, I want to HURL

Joy Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 01:33 PM EST

I have to agree that the best "bad" Christmas song is "Christmas All Around" I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes...

Anyhow I dislike Ashanti's version of "This Christmas", totally brutal.

Jack Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 01:08 PM EST

I hate The Little Drummer Boy!

Amanda Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 01:06 PM EST

I absolutely hate "Chrstmas Shoes!" Although my husband loves it. I also hate that "Mary did you know" song and Gloria Estefan's version of "Let it Snow." I enjoy the Bing Crosby/David Bowie song "Little Drummer Boy" only because it reminds me of when Saturday Night Live did a parody of it and Jimmy Fallon was David Bowie. Does anyone else remember that?

Mike Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 12:34 PM EST

After I finished reading this long list of horrors, I began to understand why alcohol consumption goes so far up during the Holiday Season.

MC Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 12:21 PM EST

"Love on Layaway"?????? Hmmm.

I could give the Hippo song a second chance if I heard the Three Stooges do it. The kid in the recording I'm familiar with is just irritating.
I heard Celine Dion's "Ave Maria" just now on the radio and I think she needs to be slapped. Really, some songs just don't need to be "remastered" or made into huge productions. Simple & straightforward is sometime all you need.

Beth Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 12:01 PM EST

Trolly, the song you're thinking of that starts with "So this is Christmas" is actually the John Lennon song "Happy Christmas (War is Over)".

Some beginning lyrics from the much maligned Paul McCartney song are:

The mood is right
The spirit's up
We're here tonight
And that's enough
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time

Hopefully that jogs your memory. Or not, if you're lucky.


Wilma Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 11:31 AM EST

Check out the words in the christmas shoes song that everyone is talking about.
************

It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line
Tryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing 'round like little boys do
And in his hands he held a pair of shoes

His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say

Chorus:
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

He counted pennies for what seemed like years
Then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here"
He searched his pockets frantically
Then he turned and he looked at me
He said Mama made Christmas good at our house
Though most years she just did without
Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,
Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes

So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out
I'll never forget the look on his face when he said
Mama's gonna look so great

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

Bridge:
I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love
As he thanked me and ran out
I knew that God had sent that little boy
To remind me just what Christmas is all about

Rachel Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 11:03 AM EST

Paul - you are such a scrooge. I can't believe you listed like a 100 xmas songs. You are an anti-xmasite that probably hates Christmas cards, christmas lights, decorations, gifts, and the colors red and green. Lighten up, dude. What happened to your xmas spirit? Let's talk.

Paul Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 10:57 AM EST

I hate the following Christmas songs:

Jingle Bells
Frosty the Snowman
Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer
Charlie Brown Christmas Song
White Christmas
Silent Night
Joy to the World
We Wish You a Merry Christmas
Holy Night
Away in a Manger
The First Noel
Angels we have heard on high
Where are you Christmas (Celine Dion)
Jingle Bell Rock
Holly Jolly Christmas
Santa Claus is Coming To Town
Blue Christmas
Barking dog song
Twelve Days of Christmas
Elmer Fudd song
White Christmas
Merry Christmas Darling
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Santa Baby
Sleigh Ride
Santa Looked A Lot Like Daddy
All I want for Christmas is you
Not Tonight Santa
Run Rudolph Run
The Christmas Song
Santa got lost in Texas
Santa got stuck in my chimney
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
Dominick the donkey
Deck the halls
Adam Sandler's Chanukah song
Bandaids "Do they know it's christmas"
Greatest time of the year
Mary did you know?
Paul McCartneys and all Beatles Xmas songs
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Happy New Year
Auld Lang Sye
Any song that starts with "Merry Christmas"
Love on Layaway
John Lennon's xmas - war is over song
Have a Funky Funky Christmas
Little Drummer Boy
Any and all instrumental xmas songs
I Hope I Sell a Lot of Records at Christmastime
That Holiday Feeling
The Brady's Christmas song
The bell that couldn't jingle.
I Wish It Could Be A Wombling Merry Christmas Everyday
Let's Light the Christmas Tree
Let's Party
No Child Should Ever Cry on Christmas
Marshmellow World
My December
The Greatest Gift of All
Tenessee Christmas
Mistletoe and Holly
Mistress for Christmas
The Night Before Christmas
The Night After Christmas
What Christmas means to me
I've Got my love to keep me warm
Christmas presents
Warm and Fuzzy
Jesus take the wheel
Last Christmas
Mad World
Power of Love
A Lover's Christmas Carol

THIS BEING SAID, I DO LIKE SOME XMAS SONGS, JUST A FEW - HERE THEY ARE

I WANT A HIPPOTAMOUS FOR CHRISTMAS (only song that makes me cry everytime)

MY GROWN UP CHRISTMAS LIST

MY FAVORITE THINGS (Streisand at her best)

CHRISTMAS SHOES for that girl's mom (always makes me smile - she gets her shoes in the end - timing isn't always what we think it's going to be but god knows and her mommy had a new set of shoes for her funeral, which is very important, great song, definite classic)

Driggs Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 10:35 AM EST

Sorry everyone, but I've loved the "Hippopotamus" song since I heard the Three Stooges do it when I was a kid. And there are just so many other horrible songs to hate. To be really hateful, I think a song has to meet one or more of several key criteria:
1. Words that make no sense or that shamelessly pander to some agenda—political, commercial, or hearttugging.
2. Sung badly—either oversung with Mariah-like acrobatics or by someone who has no business singing at all, ever. Ever.
3. Points for over-the-top, frantically-huge symphonic productions.

And here are my nominees:
• Christmas in America. Just disgusting in every way, from the cringingly transparent “patriotic” message to the bombastic background music. Any sleeper terror cells out there that hear this one will surely be goaded into immediate action.

• Christmas in Washington. Lyrics make absolutely no sense, but they manage to string together every tourist attraction and neighborhood in the area so that no one has to feel left out.

• Christmas Shoes. If you don’t understand why this is an offensive song, you clearly haven’t heard it.

• It's the Holiday Season by Andy Williams. Whoop-de-doo and dickery dock? That's the best you can come up with? You suck.

• Wonderful Christmastime. It ranks right up there with McCartney's other I-wrote-this-in-my-sleep-but-they'll-put-it-on-the-radio songs, like "Let 'Em In" and "Silly Love Songs."

Some other notes:
• Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by the Pretenders is, indeed, off-key. I have perfect pitch and this one is intolerable for me. Love the Pretenders, but couldn’t they have tried another take on this one?!?
• Whoever came up with that Two Front Teeth song with the whistling sound must be killed, now.
• The following are just plain creepy and/or disturbing: The Chimney Song; Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer; Santa Claus has Got the AIDS; and anything by Karen Carpenter (I just envision her wretching up eggnog as she starves herself to death).

Brendan Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 10:25 AM EST

I'm so very happy that "Wonderful Christmas Time" is getting so much flack -- that synth line alone makes me wretch, never mind that one of the formerly greatest vocalists in rock history ("I Saw Her Standing There," anyone?) just phones in a completely craptacular performance. Also, Billy Corgan ought to be strung up by his toenails for the lyrics to "Christmas Time Has Come," even though the melody is very pretty.

Near the top of my crap list is "Please Come Home for Christmas" by the Eagles. Every time I hear it, I want to unfreeze hell and send them back to it. The guitar solo's awful, the lyrics are lame ("There'll be no sorrow / No grief, no pain / And I'll be happy / Happy once again"?? Come on!), and the tempo is so durned plodding that I just want to fall asleep.

Dishonorable mentions: "Jingle Bell Rock," "Nuttin' for Christmas," "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer," "Christmas Shoes," "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree." Y'all have said these already, and y'all are absolutely right.

Some of the greats, though:
1. "Christmas Time Is Here Again" by the Beatles. "O-U-T spells 'out'" in a Christmas song? What does that even mean?? It means awesome, that's what.

2. "The First Noel" by the Crash Test Dummies. Really beautiful version of a gorgeous tune, despite the Canadian lead singer's overreaching deep vocals. Also, the Brian Wilson version that came out last year is fantastic.

3. "Fairytale of New York" by the Pogues. Okay, I'm cheating; it's barely a Christmas song. But name me a song -- any song, Christmas or no -- that has more beautiful, more poetic lyrics or as stirring a melody. And whereas crap like "Christmas Shoes" is all fake, trite sentiment, this one actually gets depression right.

4. "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" by Darlene Love. If anyone -- ANYONE -- brings up the U2 version, I will be very upset, because it's so inferior; besides, there isn't a better vocal performance on any Christmas song ever than Darlene Love's on this one. There's a reason why she sings it on Letterman every year: it's one of the most enduring, most heartbreaking ballads ever written. And Phil Spector's production on it (or really, everything on that "Christmas Gift to You" record) is some of the best work he ever did.

5. "I Believe in Father Christmas" by Emerson Lake & Palmer. I despise ELP. I really, really do. I find them pretentious, boring, and emotionless. But this song is absolutely genius. The lyrics are wide-eyed like a six-year-old who finds out there's no Santa ("I believed in Father Christmas / I looked to the sky with excited eyes / Then I woke with a yawn at the first light of dawn / And saw him and through his disguise"), and those horns that come out of nowhere just get me thinking that Christmas might be a lot of fun. It helps to be an adult who really WANTS to believe in Santa, sure, but the song is awesome regardless.

Kelly Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 10:25 AM EST

So like I totally hate that song that Streisand sings called "My Favorite Things" because it makes me want to just drive off the bridge and kill myself. The song is like totally depressing and not cheerful or happy at all. Usually when you are talking about your favorite things you are excited or happy or whatever, but not Stresand. My gosh. It's like she is being held at gunpoint to forced to sing the song as slow and as low as possible. I'd say okay if she was held at gunpoint - i mean you do what you got to do - but if she was NOT held at gunpoint and did this song this way on purpose, then she NEEDS TO BE SHOT - i think celebs who get successful and popular and rich forget what makes a good song good.

Another song I so like totally hate is the christmas shoe song because my gosh, it's like totally depressing and makes me want to just go kill myself. It's the perfect suicide song. And then at the end of the song the mom dies so she didn't even make it to Christmas day after all. So why do the friggin' song, people?

Why not make a song called "fresh skin" about a 3rd degree burn victim who is in extreme pain and in the hospital trying to heal from a fire and some kid is singing about santa bringing her dad fresh skin for christmas and so fresh skin is brought but by then (by the end of the song) the burn victim is dead. You just don't write a song about that. You don't.

trolly Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 10:16 AM EST

Is the Paul McCartney song you are all talking about the one that starts off "so this is christmas....." or are you talking about another one? If so, please state a verse or chorus from it so I know which one you are referring to.

Dave Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 10:16 AM EST

Perry Como's recording of Home for the Holidays makes me want to set myself on fire. Just awful.

Joy Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 09:33 AM EST

Worst... most songs re-done by current artists. Songs like "White Christmas" by Bing Crosby are perfect. Artists should just leave them alone. There are a few exceptions. I actually like "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" and a Baltimore song "Crabs for Christmas". They're done is jest and taken that way.

Best? I love the Carpenters (sorry) and almost everything by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra (aka Savatage) especially Christmas Eve Sarajevo and First Snow.

MC Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 08:53 AM EST

I have to agree with "Christmas Shoes" and that damn hippo song! But I have a new "please don't ever play that one again" song - Jessica Simpson's frightening rendition of "Let it Snow". Someone must have felt that the nasty sound she makes at the end of that song was musically wonderful. It's so nasty that animals probably scream when they hear it. My throat hurts if I'm not paying attention and hear the thing. And I just discovered that her Christmas album is called
"Re-Joyce".......please.

Brenda Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 07:40 AM EST

1. Feliz Navidad by Celine Dion. Just when you think the original can't get any worse, along comes the screeching Canook.
2. The Christmas Shoes song - whoever thought it a good idea to write a song about a poor little boy wanting to get his dying mother some pretty new shoes for Christmas then killing off the mother at the end needs to be drug out in the street and beaten with said shoes.
3. Silent Night by Steve Nicks - I love Stevie, but she sounds like a goat in need of metamucil on this one. Sorry, folks, but the truth hurts.
4. The one by Paul McCartney (come on, you all know the endless and painful refrain) - For this he was made a Knight??

Richard Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 04:37 AM EST


Best: go and google Blue Christmas by Porky Pig. It will make strong men weep.

Worst: the surreal video of Little Drummer Boy in which David Bowie shows up at the home of Bing Crosby, who has this look on his face like he's trying to decide whether to call the police.

Steph Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 04:36 AM EST

Worst X-mas songs ~ AND HOW & Amen!!!!
Wonderful X-mas Time
Christmas Shoes
Dogs Barking Jingle Bells
Dockery Dock Song by Andy Williams
Hippo Song
Any Drummer Boy Song that ISN"T a famous Choir
Mary Did Ya Know
John Denver's song about Daddy not getting drunk this
Christmas
Santa getting stuck in Chimmney
My Favorite Things
Any X-mas song that Neil Diamond or Babs S. sings
All I want for X-mas is my 2 front teeth
Anything by Beach Boys
Old Aung San that isn't shown with movie "It's A
Wonderful Life"

Sharon Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 01:48 AM EST

The most depressing song ever has the chorus "things fall apart, but they never leave my heart - It's Christmas". They used to play it on KROQ all the time. The woman's Mom dies (I think) her boyfriend breaks up with her, she feeds her cat, the angel on the tree has a broken wing. Actually it's so sad and unusual that I "enjoyed" hearing it. Anybody know what the song is called and who sings it?

Strepsi Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 01:20 AM EST

The worst is "Backdoor Santa" by Bon Jovi.

There may be a time and a place for a rockin' song about attacking someone anally... but Christmas ain't it.

Strepsi Thu, Dec 21, 2006 at 01:18 AM EST

re: sounds like two female robots are singing, and the chorus just goes "Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas"

The song is "Chistmas Rapping" by the Waitresses.

You have to imagine you are in NYC in 1985 with a bow in youyr hair and a crinoline skirt over black legwarmers and you are rushing out to a friend's Christmas party after seeing "Desperately Seekign Susan" -- then it's not *quite* so wretched.


john Wed, Dec 20, 2006 at 11:40 PM EST

It IS easier to name the best. "Happy Holidays" by Bing Crosby is great. "Baby It's Cold Outside" another winner. What about "Christmas Rapping" by the Waitresses, I can't believe no one mentioned that.

OK here's the worst, not in any meaningful order:

1. That Paul MacCartney song.

2. Bruce Springsteen "Santa Clause is Coming to Town". His whole "have you guys been good" rap and the canned "Ho, ho ho"s made me realize I should hate him.

3. The Beach Boys song. Some of the Beach Boys songs are among my favorites, but this is awful. The chorus in part reminds you that "Christmas comes this time each year" . . . WTF? Were they tutoring Brian at this point?

4. "Grandma Got Run Over by a . . .
Screw it; can't even finish typing that one. Funny for 10 seconds when you're eight.

The list can go on and on, but these really grate.

Fleas Navidad everone.

Todd Wed, Dec 20, 2006 at 11:38 PM EST

Thanks so much for asking this question. My friends expect that each year, I will announce the season's Most Hated Christmas Song. This year, hands down, it's "Very Special Christmas" by Gloria Estefan. Now, I love Gloria. She's a wonderfully benevolent entertainer, tireless and can recover from catastrophic injury like nobody's business. But this song has got to be given a hiatus. Perhaps I'll like it when it comes back 10 years from now.

Or maybe it's simply because the sentimentally-charged word, "special", just kills me.

Janice Wed, Dec 20, 2006 at 11:33 PM EST

LOTS of crappy songs this time of year, but the absolute BEST is the Ramones "Merry Christmas, I don't Want to Fight Tonite". YAAAA!! Now that 3 of them are in R&R Heaven, I toast them for all the gifts they gave is. Merry Christmas everyone!!

Amy Wed, Dec 20, 2006 at 11:32 PM EST

Feliz Navidad...it's like nails on a chalkboard. **shudder**

Charlotte Wed, Dec 20, 2006 at 10:43 PM EST

Christmas Shoes and Blue Christmas (by Elvis) are horrible, and Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer is hideous.

I don't mind sad Christmas songs, as lons as the sentiment is real. They tend to cut through the I'm so happy I could shoot myself sentiment that pervades the holiday.

I've never heard the Hippo song, so I guess I've been lucky.

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