'Hell's Kitchen': Who's going to win?
Aug 8, 2006, 06:30 PM | by Michael Endelman
Categories: Reality TV
After countless knife cuts, grease fires, and barked cries of “Yes, Chef!", Fox’s sensationalist gastro-reality elimination show Hell’s Kitchen is down to two contestants: abrasive, crazy-eyed Heather, the sous chef from New York, and blubbery, crazy-for-Gordon Virginia (pictured), the salad chef from California. Poor wigga Keith. The egg-shaped, slack-mouthed cook couldn’t keep his attitude in check and Ramsay sent K-Greasy packing. Keith may have had bad leadership skills–and bad posture, and bad grammar, and bad choice of jeans, and bad manners -- but he was entertaining as all hell. When right after being eliminated, Keith mouthed back at Ramsay -- “I think you have the ‘blankity-blank’ hots for Virginia!” -- I thought our Scottish drill sergeant might julienne his scalp with a Wüsthof.
Even though this season started with a surfeit of talent -- remember hopeless marketing exec Gabe or waddling fishmonger Larry? The final two seem to be somewhat capable, though I still think that any of the contestants from Bravo’s Top Chef could cook Heather or Virginia under the butcher’s block. The final pair represent a good balance: Heather clearly has the better cooking mechanics, she’s a bulldog who can survive the pace of a hot kitchen, and could run a kitchen competently. Still, she’s an annoying micromanager and know-it-all who rubs everyone the wrong way. Virginia has a better palate, a more finely tuned sense for flavor combinations and understands what Vegas high-rollers expect for $30 an entrée. In the speed of a kitchen, she’s still kind of an amateur, and she’s immature, needy, and acts like a besotted schoolgirl in the presence of Mr. Move-Your-Ass. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to eat at a restaurant that had either Heather or Virginia running the joint. If I’m gonna go to a reality-chef bistro, I’m picking this place.
Questions for the finale: Did you think Gordon picked the right chef? Does Gordon have the hots for Virginia? Will Heather and Virginia be able to control the sloppy crew of discarded cast members who are returning next week? And most importantly, who will win?

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