'The Originals' recap: Three men and a baby

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Image Credit: Annette Brown/The CW

Welcome back to New Orleans, everybody! I don’t know about you all, but I have missed this place, bloodshed and all. I even missed Thierry’s hats. OK, I especially missed Thierry’s hats, but that’s not important. What is important is the theme of this week’s episode, which was all about picking a side in the war that’s about to come to a head. And nobody — I mean nobody — is messing around. Let’s dig in, shall we?

We kicked things off with one of my favorite sights, and one that will never get old: Big bad evil Klaus doing a little painting in the beautiful morning light. He was painting Genevieve, who was currently in his bed. According to Klaus, the painting was a token to honor their pact. So was their night together just a means to an end? Well, it was a “rather delicious means to a mutually beneficial end.” Good lord, I have missed how these people talk. Klaus explained that he would provide the witches protection if they promised him their allegiance. And by allegiance, he meant that he wanted them to first and foremost fix Kieran.

And speaking of the witches, the three harvest girls were practicing magic in what looked like a yoga class gone horribly wrong when Monique successfully channeled the ancestors. They claimed it was time for the fourth harvest girl to be resurrected, which meant Genevieve had to die. Surprisingly, Genevieve agreed — but only after she got ahold of Esther’s grimoire and secured the witches power.

Back at the homestead, Elijah was doing some remodeling in a v-neck. No big deal. Nothing to look at here, guys. But Genevieve stopped and looked anyway (Can you blame her?). She asked Elijah if the town could celebrate the Feast of the Blessings, a.k.a. an event where everyone brings gifts to the witches in exchange for blessings. He agreed, but he wasn’t happy about showing respect to the woman with whom Klaus had “grown rather nauseatingly intimate.” That comment only made Klaus think of Hayley, who he was allowing to stay in the bayou for now. She’d be safer there, where she was considered royalty. Plus, Klaus had an in with Oliver, who introduced Klaus to Cary, a descendant from his line. Apparently Klaus needs to know what type of stone once sat in the ring that was passed down to his family. That’ll be all for now, Cary. Come back when you have some helpful info, will ya?

Away from all the plotting, Elijah was busy rounding people up for the party. Francesca agreed to represent the humans in exchange for a favor, and when Elijah visited the bayou, he was surprised at how easily both Oliver and Jackson agreed. He immediately warned Hayley not to trust them. But instead of being stealthy about it, Hayley let her pregnancy hormones get the best of her. She went straight to Oliver and quite literally twisted his arm until he caved. They told her about the deal they had with Klaus. Also, Oliver’s comment about one reason not to tell Hayley being “tall and immortal and wears a pocket scarf” was great … except Daniel Gillies is not tall. Good try, guys.

Out of town, Marcel and Thierry were trying to get Diego on their side, but he said he felt safer standing with Elijah, even though he called him a dick. So yeah, if I ever meet Diego, we are going to have a serious chat. And Marcel shared my sentiments (though not for the same reason): It was time for him to do something drastic. Cut to the party!

After the earth, wind, and fireworks (?) display, Monique and Genevieve decided to teach Davina a lesson by not allowing anyone to “bless” her with a gift. All I could think in this scene was “Four for you Monique, you go Monique! And none for Davina.” Right?

But Genevieve’s grand plan was destroyed when Klaus showed, up, pardoned Josh — yay! — and then gave Davina a gift of his own. Spoiler: It was a daylight ring for Josh, and I’m real excited about it. And another one of Genevieve’s plans that Klaus spoiled? When she sent one of her men to Klaus’ house to steal his mother’s grimoire, he gave her another gift instead: The severed hands of said messenger. Needless to say these two don’t get along, and that fact backfired on poor Cami who had convinced Genevieve to help Kieran. But after Klaus’ present, Genevieve was no longer on Team Kieran. However, she was totally down to tell Klaus that Cami and Marcel slept together.So it’s probably safe to call her a party pooper.

Although, the bigger party pooper was Marcel, who delivered a band full of compelled humans to the party who all slit their wrists. Elijah tried to control the vamps, but when the lights went out, murder ensued. Elijah ran to Hayley, but he was too late. On the wall, written in blood, was a message from Marcel: “There will be no peace.” And cue Elijah’s face of the week! I like to call this one the “Oh hell no, Marcel. You did NOT just ruin my treaty.”

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Back at Marcel’s hideout, we found out that Josh had been in on the plan the whole time. He’d gotten Davina to safety before the chaos ensued. But hold on, y’all, because that Elijah face wasn’t just something to look at. This Original was ready to act! As soon as I heard him scream “Marcel!” I knew we were in for something great. Elijah rarely ever raises his voice. Seconds later, Thierry was on the ground, and Elijah had his hand on Marcel’s heart. “I warned you and yet still you returned to the French Quarter,” he told him. Marcel tried to bring up Klaus’ meetings with the witches, to which Elijah’s response was amazing:  “Whatever shall I do? I suppose I could just ask him.” Ugh, this man is just the best. But when Marcel mentioned Klaus’ secret werewolf meetings, Elijah decided on another punishment. Instead of killing Marcel, he ripped out Thierry’s heart. As sad as I was to see Thierry and his hats go, Elijah’s badass exit made it a little easier: “You live and you die according to my will,” Elijah told Marcel. *Dropped Thierry’s heart like it was a freakin’ mic* “Try to remember that.” And with that, Elijah Mikaelson had left the building.

After the bloodshed at the party, Hayley agreed to the pact with Klaus, but told Jackson that they could never really trust him. But more importantly, let’s get to my favorite confrontation between Elijah and Klaus. Klaus tried to put up an argument for the wolves being his family, but Elijah wasn’t having any of it. “How casually you disavow 1,000 years of allegiance towards you,” he told his little brother. And when Klaus tried to play the Hayley card, Elijah was really done. He had denied every impulse he had for Hayley out of some hope for Klaus’ redemption, but no more. “If I want something, I’ll take it, and nothing, nothing will stand in my way.” If only I were the thing he wanted, amirite?

Moments later, we were back at the bayou, where Elijah had become the onlooker that Jackson used to be. He was watching Hayley laugh with her clan, and with Jackson, and told Eve that he just wanted her to be happy. He left without telling her he had stopped by. *sigh*

At Thierry’s memorial, Diego and the other vamps showed up ready to fight against the Originals. No backing down this time. And the same thing went for the witches, who decided to let Genevieve live in light of another sacrifice of their choosing: They want the witches to kill Klaus’ child. It wasn’t that shocking of a twist, but still incredibly disturbing.

So what did you all think of the episode? Are you Team Marcel, Team Elijah, or Team Klaus? Or something else altogether? Team Witches, perhaps? And can someone please describe me as a “lover of fiery men” at my funeral? Thanks! Sound off in the comments below!

QUOTABLES:

Genevieve: In my last life I was far too modest to pose in the nude.
Klaus: Well then consider yourself much improved. Modesty is for the weak.

“No child of mine will be born in a swamp.” -Klaus on bringing Hayley home to give birth

“If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results than surely my quest for your salvation ranks me as one of the maddest of men.” -Elijah to Klaus

“Your vampires ruined my party.” -Genevieve to Klaus

“Pity, I will miss the sex.” -Klaus to Genevieve


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