Golden Globes 2014: Screengrab recap

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Image Credit: NBC

I took way too many photos of my TV screen during the Golden Globes. Some of them made the cut. (Who can say what “some” means, really?) Join me in a visual adventure through Tina and Amy’s gladiating, Martin Scorsese’s unbridled enthusiasm at a vagina joke, Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ gluttony, and more:

Switch hit: Amy Poehler really did look amazing tonight.
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Tina and Amy’s Scandal/Blue Steel moment: Chilling!
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Lots of cuts to intense Jon Voight in the audience. Is this why Jennifer Lawrence was scared?
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Elisabeth Moss (Best Actress in a Mini-Series) had a big night: Flipping off E!’s mani-cam….

announcing “Holy Sh*t!” …and demonstrating the proper way to use tongue.
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More wine, Liv? (Not the pregnant actress. Her character.)
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Jonah Hill and Margot Robbie’s “Hey, why are you guys all naked?” deer-in-headlights reaction to a teleprompter meltdown:
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Can Alex Ebert (Best Original Score, All Is Lost)’s hair count as an up-do? It’s glorious.
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Julia Roberts never leaves this position during any speech — the incredibly intrigued office temp is ready to take on whatever bold new administrative challenges you can throw at her.
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Totally off-topic, but Michael Sheen and Kate Beckinsale’s daughter is very Shannen Doherty in Girls Just Want to Have Fun.
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Finally, a boozy shot. I wanna be at THIS table.
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Amy Adams gently but firmly scolds the un-feeling music robot for playing her off.
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Amy Poehler plays Randy, the love child of Tina Fey and…. some celebrity. Who’s the daddy? It’s not Idris Elba. I’m going Zac Efron.
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Emma Thompson furthers her status as every woman’s hero by shakily clutching her heels in one hand and a martini in the other.
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“Pssssst. Act more excited,” a phantom limb encourages Lorne Michaels following Andy Samberg’s Best Actor in a Comedy win for Brooklyn 99.
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Zoe Saldana’s dress has truly inspired me to take up rock climbing.
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“On Sundays, we eat hot dogs.” Mean Girls Tina and Amy taunt Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who’d table-hopped from the glamorous Movies section to the concession stand-quality TV section.
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Love is blindness: Bono gets more action than anticipated from Poehler as she wins Best Actress in a Comedy for Parks and Rec.
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“That was. Lit-ruh-ly? The greatest speech I’ve ever heard.” –Rob Lowe, proud owner of a flattop.
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I see sperm on Emma Stone’s dress, but I’m probably just looking for it.
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“Herpes…” “Earpiece…” — it’s all the same in zero Gravity! Sandra Bullock delights in director Alfonso Cuarón’s Best Director speech.
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“So what did you think of my new album?” –Jared Leto
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Martin Scorsese’s extended, full-out cackle after Tina Fey delivers solid gold: “Like a supermodel’s vagina, let’s give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio.”
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Johnny Depp’s pocket chain and Hot Topic-y shoes: The dream of the ’90s is alive in L.A. (all the hot guys wear glasses)….
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Inside Llewyn Davis’ Oscar Isaac pouring water like a waiter before a commercial.
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Matthew McConaughey “dances,” sort of, with Jessica Chastain. Is it a dance? Olympic Curling? Only a true detective would know for sure.
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Neck peck! 12 Years a Slave director Steve McQueen gets some love while accepting for Best Picture, Drama.
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Red carpet honorable mention: Hayden Panettiere needs to take after her Nashville character and own her fashion sense — Juliette Barnes NEVER shies away from a thong neckline.
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