Green monkeys! Orange iguanas! If these unnaturally occurring animal-color combinations don’t send chills down your spine, you weren’t a child of the ‘90s.
Funny or Die has posted a fake trailer for Legends of the Hidden Temple: The Movie, a would-be action flick that finds a gruff former contestant drinking away his sorrows as he contemplates returning (a la Lost) into the cruel hands of Olmec the Terrifying. “You think you’re going to be all right, just ’cause you have a guide,” muses the faded former Red Jaguar as memories of a distant Kirk Fogg appear. “We lost so many good men that day.”
The joke, of course, stems from a fantastic game show back in the golden age of ‘90s Nickelodeon, wherein kids would compete in physical and trivia challenges to outwit the other teams and find themselves in the grand poobah of game show finales: the Temple. Inside, they’d have to retrieve the artifact du jour to win the game, avoiding horrifying guards and obstacles before trying to assemble the
cure for cancer Shrine of the Silver Monkey, a simple three-piece puzzle that frequently stumped contestants and has long infuriated viewers who swear that it has to be easier than it looks.
Ah, yes, the video is pointless and surely a waste of 1:37 of your life that you’d spend elsewhere watching videos of family dogs welcoming returning soldiers, but oh, the laughs and merriment you’ll have for the brief flash of nostalgia brought on by this pseudo trailer. Stick around for the credits, which include production designer Tommy Pickles, costume designer Stick Stickly, and music by Catdog.
The ridiculousness gets me thinking about other Nickelodeon game shows that might make for epic films. Basically, all of them:
Nick Arcade!: The Movie: Animated G-film about teens sucked into a videogame; Kel Mitchell supports as kooky wizard.
Family Double Dare: Two down-on-their-luck parents (Larisa Oleynik and Danny Tamberelli) enter a game show to win back their foreclosed house.
Guts: The Dark World: Summer Sanders and the kid who played Donkeylips lead a pack of mountaineers up the Aggro Crag.
Figure It Out: The Shelby Woo Story: Hard-hitting crime biopic about Shelby Woo, OBVIOUSLY.