'Duck Dynasty': Charlie Sheen demands 'shower dodger' Robertson apologize

TV’s controversial media sensation of 2011 is attacking TV’s controversial media sensation of 2013: Charlie Sheen is demanding Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson apologize for his inflammatory comments to GQ magazine.

The volatile Anger Management star posted a lengthy rant to “shower dodger” Robertson via his Twitter account Saturday.

“You have offended and hurt so many dear friends of mine, who DO NOT have the voice or the outreach that I do,” Sheen wrote. “Your statements were and are abhorrently and mendaciously unforgivable …. the only ‘Dynasty’ you are attached to might be the re-runs of that dated show … you need to make serious amends to those you have radically offended.”

Sheen, of course, was fired from CBS’ Two and a Half Men two years ago after a series of public tirades against his employers and now only appears in reruns of that show.

Meanwhile in the Duck Dynasty story, Cracker Barrel is defending its decision to pull some Robertson family-branded products from its restaurants, while one member of the Dynasty clan is thanking fans for their support. That update here.

Full Text:

hey Mallard brained
Phil Robertso!
you have offended and hurt so many dear friends of mine,
who DO NOT have the voice or the outreach that I do.
well news flash
shower-dodger,
I will speak loudly and clearly for ALL of them.
so,
just when your desperately sub evolved ass thought the pressure was off,
you are now in the crosshairs of a MaSheen style media
beat down.
(I’ll try to keep the big words to a minimum as not to confuse you)

your statements were and are
abhorrently and
mendaciously unforgivable.

the idea that you have a job
outside of dirt-clod stacking
is a miracle.

the only ‘Dynasty’ you are attached to might be the
re-runs of that dated show.

the only thing you should ever be in charge of building is a hole in the ground the exact size of your head.
perhaps your beard would fit as well if you plucked out the
army of scabies and
bull weevils sequestered deep in it’s sarcophagus of dander and weasel pelts.

shame on you.
you’re the only surviving
brain donor I’ve ever known.

when the gators and Egrets
kick you out of their
hovel,
you need to make serious amends to those you have
radically offended.

on the eight day
when I was whittling my cosmic banjo,
I’m pretty sure YOU were the scattered dross I then used to light a fire and
locate the nearest
Andy Gump.

repulsed by you;
c sheen

hash tag;
Duck; that was me.

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