When a colleague came over earlier today and asked if I’d seen last night’s Revenge promos teasing a “love rumpus,” I thought to myself, “That’s ridiculous and brilliant, and I have no idea what it means. Also, people don’t use the word ‘rumpus’ enough.” But after re-watching the promos, I realized what they were getting at: Emily Thorne is deciding amongst (not between — that implies two) three elligible men, including her fiance, her ex, and her true love. Spoiler: They’re all smokin’ hot.
I went back to my colleague and explained my discovery, which caused us to watch the promo for a third time. That’s when we finally understood that it wasn’t talking about “the Hamptons’ hottest love rumpus” — it was talking about “the Hamptons’ hottest love rhombus.”
In case your geometry teacher, like mine, was fired after teaching you next to nothing in ninth grade: A rhombus is a simple quadrilateral that often resembles a diamond shape. A love square includes four parties who are all romantically involved in some fashion. A love rhombus, by contrast, happens when three people are all competing for a single person’s affection. So, basically a love triangle plus one extra hot dude. (Apparently, “love rhombus” is also a band, so, you know, there’s that.)
Cue burning questions: Are love triangles so last year? Are love rhombuses the new rage? And why is there no such thing as a love trapezoid? (Insert pun about love coming in all shapes and sizes here. Wait — evidently, there was a love trapezoid on Chuck in 2009! But what does it mean?)
I wanted to follow up this promo by rounding up the best love rhombuses on TV — but I couldn’t think of any entanglements that fell under that same definition. Sure, we’ve had two couples (or four people) mixing and mingling and swapping loves, etc. in the past, but I don’t recall many shows in which three people genuinely fought over a fourth character for a serious arc of time. (Unless you count reality television.)
So is Revenge kicking off a new trend? Or will the love rhombus live and die in The Hamptons? Bigger question: Who’s going to start a love rumpus, and what exactly does that entail?!