Tonight, VH1 airs the season finale of Hit the Floor (9 p.m. ET), the sexy scripted soap centered on the Los Angeles Devil Girls, the dance team for the city’s fictional professional basketball team. A body of one of the dancers has just been found floating under the Vincent Thomas Bridge. Who is it? We’ll break down the choices for you, and you’ll understand why this summer guilty pleasure is crazy.
• Raquel (Valerie Ortiz): The single mom didn’t make this year’s cut, so she’s running the bar at the team’s arena now. She has a 4-year-old son with her cheating ex Jesse, an agent who represents half the team. With a custody battle brewing, he told Raquel that he’d back off if she’d sleep with him one last time so he could have “closure.” She was going to do it, until the Devil Girls’ head bitch Jelena (Logan Browning) made a deal with Jesse in last week’s episode (embedded below): In exchange for him leaving Raquel alone, Jelena gave him the address of a private party being thrown by the next Dennis Rodman, L.J. Reynolds, who happens to be agent-less and about to sign a contract with Oklahoma for $135 million. Jesse showed up at the party, and L.J. told him he needs an agent who’d do anything for him. “Would I be like, um, on the top or the bottom?” Jesse asked. “Do I look like a bottom to you?” L.J. said. Long story short, Raquel was there to video the two of them in bed together as her insurance policy that Jesse would drop all legal proceedings and get out of her life. Jesse’s last words to her? “You cannot even imagine the ways you’re going to regret this, Raquel.”
• Jelana: Her boyfriend, Devils star player Terrence (Robert Christopher Riley), was going to propose to her after she stood by him when he said he didn’t take the drug that showed up on a test and ruined his trade to Indiana. But when he went to hide the engagement ring in her locker at the arena, he found a bottle of Oxymetholone there and punched a hole in the wall. Jelena was scheming with team owner Oscar (Don Stark) to keep Terrence in Los Angeles — and to do something else, which we’ll learn in the finale.
• Kyle (Katherine Bailess): The former stripper has been doing just about anything to bank a serious amount of cash, including selling a sex tape and seducing an Internet billionaire (who knew she had been involved with someone named Benny Wise and it’d been “a mess”). She’s received phone calls and letters from Folsom State Prison, and a note that read, “Kyle, we’re not finished. I’m coming for you.”
• Mia (Johanna Braddy): The former Devil Girl had been on the run but came back recently to reveal why she’d left: Team owner Oscar used to send her to hotel rooms to entertain referees, tire out players, etc. He had her wear a mic, so he had something to hold over those men. Then he’d give tips on games to gamblers who’d conveniently invest their winnings back into the new arena Oscar is developing. One night, Mia was raped. She told Oscar, and instead of having her back, he had her apartment ransacked looking for the mic. Tired of running, she finally gave the mic back to Oscar and said she was leaving town to have a life somewhere else. He wished her the best.
Ahsha (Taylour Paige): Stay with us now: She’s the good girl who’s been threatening to go bad all season. Still, her nice boyfriend German (Jonathan “Lil J” McDaniel) just broke up with her because he found out that Devils star Derek (McKinley Freeman), who’s been chasing Ahsha, kissed her when they were stuck in an elevator alone during a blackout. Rookie Ahsha is also currently battling veteran bitch Jelena in a fan vote that’ll choose which dancer represents the Devils at the All-Star Game. Devil Girls director Olivia (Charlotte Ross), who wants Jelena knocked down a peg, suggested Ahsha let her leak the information that Ahsha only recently learned — Devils coach Pete (Dean Cain) is her father. Ahsha said no — at first. But then she caught her original Devil Girl mother Sloane (Kimberly Elise) having sex with Pete, and well, she wants to beat Jelena. So she told Olivia to do it.
Who do you think is dead? And bonus scoop: Tonight’s finale introduces two hot new male characters you’ll be happy to see more of in Season 2.