This season’s ‘Catfish: The TV Show,’ which premiered Tuesday, June 25 at 10 p.m. on MTV features so many OMG moments that it is best to analyze each episode with equally expressive reactions. And not just text-based or still image reactions — GIF reactions.
I can’t stand how many cameras they have for this show that are not even used but just hanging around their nondescript hotel not filming anything. I can’t stand it!
Tonight’s Catfishee is Lauren. She’s a sweet, pretty, single mother of the even sweeter Mason. She is completely in love with Derek, whom she met on MySpace eight years ago. Although Lauren lives in Texas, Derek is in Maryland. They text and message each other constantly, planning out their future together. He doesn’t have a webcam and avoided meeting her even when the chance has been available. Her family knows about Derek but EEK! They don’t know that Lauren has never met him in person.
“He’s ready to take care of her kid. But he’s not ready to video chat with her,” Max says, wide-eyed. He’s just saying what we’re thinking.
Oh fun. We get to watch Nevax pee and horseplay in the airport bathroom montage on their way to Texas. Wee. (Sorry.)
During their time in Texas, Nevax will be staying in the Sherlock suite. Max is the Watson to Nev’s Sherlock. (Oh my God, I wish Nev was Sherlock!)
Lauren and Mason greet Nevax at her father’s house. Lauren tells Nevax about herself, sharing that her mother died when she was six. She moved around a lot because her father was in the Navy, and so, eight years ago, when Lauren met Derek on MySpace, he became one of the only constants in her life. Lauren has even broken off a real life engagement in order to maintain her link with Derek. I can get the MySpace thing — I remember what it was like to be 14 on MySpace — but to continue to be in contact with someone for eight years and not see them in real time? I don’t know about that.
Lauren and Derek’s relationship started off as a teenage fantasy involving sunset trike rides. (Why do we care about this detail? Will it come up in the future?! Of course it will.) Regardless, she seems to fall for every excuse this guy gives her. Nevax warns her about what they might find out about Derek.
Bring the brownies and ditch the unnecessary cameras — it’s investigation time! The classic Image Search and Facebook stalking turn out well — Derek seems to be who he says he is. In a last effort for information, Nevax reverse searches Derek’s phone number. R. LeVourne pops up. It’s a middle-aged African American married man with kids. And a trike.
Wait, wait, wait. Who the hell is R. LeVourne? Is Derek really a 24-year-old or an older guy who’s married with kids?! What’s happening here?!
The next day, Nevax meets Lauren with Good Guy Ryan, her childhood friend. He has also warned Lauren to be guarded with Derek if not for herself then for Mason as well. Nevax shows Lauren their results. but she still believes Derek is being truthful with her.
Oh God, Nev calls Derek. It doesn’t sound like an older man, but he’s super evasive. He eventually agrees to meet them, but we still don’t exactly know what he’s hiding. Intrigue! This may be my favorite episode of Catfish this season. It’s gripping!
Lauren finally tells her father, Jeff, and stepmother, Melinda, the truth about Derek. They’re worried that Derek’s taken advantage of her big heart. But then Jeff starts to cry, overwhelmed with love and concern for his daughter and sad that her mother couldn’t be there to see her so in love. It’s obvious that they have a warm relationship. Aw, now I’m starting to tear up, too.
Good Guy Ryan joins Lauren, Mason, and Nevax on the voyage to Maryland to confront Derek. On the car ride to Derek’s house, Nevax continues to prepare Lauren for the worst. However, she gets upset telling them, “You’re making me feel like sh-t.” Nev is responsive and apologizes, reminding himself and Max that this is not just a TV show for Lauren but her reality. (Uh, I love when Nev is a good listener.)
Ah, but wait! It’s really Derek! He’s a real person! The online couple embrace and laugh, finally together. That meeting genuinely brought a tear to my eye — and not in a metaphorical sense like when I say I’m sobbing, and I’m just mildly frowning.
Mason is just the cutest little guy. Mason riding around on his “motorcycle” is what I call a quality mid-commercial clip.
Despite, or perhaps because of, Derek looking exactly as he presented himself to be, there’s still many questions left unanswered. Nevax and Lauren sit with Derek to clear up all the weirdness. His answer? He was scared to meet his dream girl and never thought not having a webcam was a big deal.
Anyway, Derek and Lauren go on a date, and it’s adorable. They hug. They kiss. They connect. This is really cute, but is it too good to be true?
The next day, Nev wakes nervous, shirtless Max who couldn’t sleep well because he was worried for Lauren.
The next day, Lauren tells Nevax that she had such a great time last night, now she wants to introduce Derek to Mason. Good Guy Ryan reappears with Mason in tow to meet Lauren, Derek, and Nevax at a petting zoo. Derek is visibly nervous with Mason. But how can you not love that sweet kid? Mason greets Derek and introduces himself saying, “It’s nice to meet you, Derek,” thereby melting every viewer’s heart. I assume Good Guy Ryan is okay with not being with Lauren, so all in all, Derek, Lauren, and Mason seem to be working out pretty well.
Two months later, Nevax checks in on Lauren. Lo and behold she’s joined by Derek and Mason! They’ve visited one another multiple times; Derek has even spoken to Lauren’s dad. She wants to relocate in Maryland and work their way to an engagement in about a year. I’m so happy that they’re taking it slow and not rushing to move in together and marry right away. I’m also happy that this turned out just as Lauren hoped and dreamed. A happy ending on Catfish, go figure.