Bless you, direct-to-DVD industry, for churning out endlessly amusing extensions of movies that never should have been franchises in the first place. An EW staffer casually mentioned the third Ace Ventura movie earlier today, inspiring a group of us to reminisce about the most random sequels we could think of — sequels many of us were hearing about for the first time.
And so, in honor of both these little-discussed gems and the gift that is Friday afternoon, here’s a list of the genre’s most unassuming entries. Caution: It’s about to get all nostalgic up in here. (Like that’s a surprise.)
Space Buddies (2009)
It’s Air Bud… IN SPACE! The craziest thing of all: This is the 8th movie in the Air Bud series, though it somehow neglects to show any puppies playing space basketball.
MVP 2: Most Vertical Primate (2001)
And on a similar note: This is a sequel to 2000′s MVP: Most Valuable Primate, a movie you may also be surprised to learn exists. It’s followed, naturally, by 2003′s MXP: Most Xtreme Primate.
Ace Ventura Jr.: Pet Detective (2009)
…All righty, then. Bonus: This movie shares a star with Space Buddies. At least the kid found his niche.
The Sandlot 2 (2005)
Starring Switched at Birth‘s Max Lloyd-Jones and… James Earl Jones? Presumably, there’s no relation.
Legally Blondes (2009)
In which Elle Woods has two British cousins, for some reason. Seriously, Producer Reese Witherspoon?
Wild Things: Foursome (2010)
Featuring the star of your liquid dreams, O-Town’s Ashley Parker Angel. Oh Angel, how far you’ve fallen!
The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning (2007)
Remember how much you loved Jessica Simpson in that 2005 Dukes of Hazzard remake? Well, you’ll really love Deal or No Deal model April Scott as Daisy Duke in this thoroughly unnecessary prequel.
Cruel Intentions 2 (2000) and 3 (2004)
The first stars Amy Adams and was actually supposed to be a televised adaptation of the first film. (Adams must thank her lucky stars every day that it never aired.) The second stars Jack from Dawson’s Creek, desperately trying to prove to us all that he’s actually straight. Also, his character’s name is Jason Argyle.
Marley & Me: The Puppy Years (2011)
All you really need to know: “The film was first released at Wal-Mart and Sam’s Club stores on August 16, 2011, followed by a wide release on January 3, 2012.”
S. Darko (2009)
Ed Westwick may be the poor man’s Jake Gyllenhaal — but that wasn’t enough to save this Donnie Darko-inspired stinker.
The Butterfly Effect 2 (2006) and 3 (2009)
Because an Ashton Kutcher movie that scored a 33 percent on Rotten Tomatoes was really crying out for a pair of sequels.
Angels in the Infield (2000)
David Alan Grier, I served with Christopher Lloyd. I knew Christopher Lloyd. Christopher Lloyd was a friend of mine. Dude, you’re no Christopher Lloyd.
Mean Girls 2 (2011)
It’s basically Mean Girls, only much, much worse.
American Psycho 2 (2002)
This gorefest features Mila Kunis, William Shatner, and the direction of Morgan Freeman. No, not that Morgan Freeman.
Home Alone: The Holiday Heist (2012)
A third Home Alone sequel that’s bereft of Macaulay Culkin? AUUUGGGHHH!
The NeverEnding Story III (1994)
Technically, if it never ends, there should be an infinite number of sequels, right? Bonus: See a young Jack Black as a dude named “The Nasty”!
Save the Last Dance 2 (2006)
This movie is country, and Izabella Miko looks country in it.
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