Sure, the Hunger Games already have a slogan. But if the gamemakers of the Capitol ever get tired of “May the Odds Be Ever In Your Favor” they would do well to consider “Outwit, Outplay, Outlast” as a substitute. Luckily enough for today’s Survivor contestants we don’t live in Panem and Jeff Probst hasn’t started wearing cake makeup, so the backstabbing that occurs on CBS’ venerable franchise is still just metaphorical. For now, anyway.
EW wondered what a few notable former Survivor contestants would do if they were thrown into the Hunger Games arena and risked having more snuffed out, so to speak, than their torches. So, to get you psyched for our live chat of tonight’s Survivor: One World at 8:00 p.m. ET, we got Coach Wade, Parvati Shallow, John Cochran, Jenna Morasca, and Eliza Orlins to confide in us what their respective strategies would be—and how they think they’d fare–if they were to find themselves on a show produced by Seneca Crane instead of Mark Burnett. Here’s what they had to say. Perhaps it shouldn’t come as a shock that Coach’s strategy involves a suicide pact.
Coach Wade, 40, Dragon Slayer.
5th Place—Survivor: Tocantins
12th Place—Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains
Runner-Up—Survivor: South Pacific
My strategy in the arena would be simple, just like I play chess. It’s kill or be killed, and I would play Suicide Slayer Style (SSS). I would let out a primal yell, and then charge forward, grabbing two swords and leaping over the crates in a single bound and take out the alpha male across from me. With both arms flailing, I would swing my sword left and right slaying everyone in my path. It’s only the alphas that go for the goodies in the beginning so the kids would remain unharmed.
I would, for sure, start taking the weak and the small and the young and place them firmly under my wings. I would lead a new band of Coach-ies and protect them all. It would end in a stalemate, and if the leaders tried to play any funny games with us we would just all sit around and drink the Jim Jones Kool-Aid at the same time. I mean it’s pretty much the apocalypse, and since heaven would be a much better place to live we could all go there sooner rather than later.
NEXT: Parvati Shallow seeks a “sweet, nerdy, nimble woodsman” as a partner. John Cochran may be just that woodsman—but fears wielding a machete.