Your mission, should you choose to accept it, PopWatchers, is to help me put together a 2011 pop-culture time capsule. It’s been a year of change that swept from the lowest brow (Two and a Half Men) to the highest (the Arab Spring). We saw many great people pass on and many more step into the spotlight. With all this in mind, what cultural relics would you pick to communicate this strange and marvelous year to the future? Check out my picks, then add your own ideas to the mix.
An iPhone 4S engraved with “Steve Jobs (1955–2011)” and loaded with the year’s top movies, music, books, apps, and this picture. [My most listened to/watched: 21, the entire Harry Potter book and film collection, Bridesmaids, Back to Black (timeless, RIP Amy!), The Book of Mormon soundtrack, the video for “Party Rock Anthem,” Bossypants, American Horror Story, “E.T.,” Batman: Arkham City, and the complete Hunger Games plus the trailer for the 2012 movie.]
DiGiorno Pizza & Cookies and a Starbucks Trenta Coffee Cup: They’ll need something to snack on while enjoying all that entertainment, so why not this year’s brilliantly bonkers pairing of two of the world’s unhealthiest foods — in one box! Then, if they’re going to indulge in junk food, why not wash it down with a drink that exceeds the natural limitations of the human bladder?
Ab cruncher: In celebration of a year that saw Immortals, countless superhero movies, and Ryan “You look like you’re Photoshopped” Gosling, to name a few… and because the denizens of the future will need to work off that pizza and cookies.
A head-to-toe outfit composed of…
Charlie Sheen’s #winning hat: Let them think it didn’t swiftly become an ironic statement.
Or, if they prefer, Melissa McCarthy’s tiara from the Emmys: Not to be confused with that thing Kim Kardashian wore on her head at her wedding.
A sweaty, signed tank top from Hugh Jackman: Back on Broadway: At one Saturday night performance, every bead of sweat was worth approximately $500.
Chaz Bono’s boxing gloves from Dancing With the Stars: He may not have won the coveted mirror ball, but he fought for equality with every two-step.
Britney Spears’ engagement ring: Third time’s a charm(?)!
Highlighter-yellow zebra pants like Justin Bieber wore at the AMAs: They’ll scare off money-hungry baby mamas in a flash.
Walking Dead shoes: When you’re a zombie and you know it, stomp your feet! (Though true men don’t wear shoes or shirts at all, just ask Jacob Black.)
And for the homicidal maniac of the future who won’t be satisfied by mere tank tops, tiaras, and zebra pants, the one-size-fits-all Rubber Man suit from American Horror Story: It transitions really well from day to night.
A Douchebag Jar: Even people in 2468 will need to be kept in check. If anything, they’ll probably only be more like Schmidt.
Half of the Elder Wand: Lest they forget the disastrous potential of too much power.
A scrap of paper with this inspirational quote: “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves”: If it’s good enough for Emily Thorne/Amanda Clarke, it’s good enough for the future.
Now that we’ve got you started, PopWatchers, we want to hear your tokens of 2011. Sound off below!