Glenn Beck to solve the economic crisis with patriotic clothing line. Watch the video to fix America!

Let’s begin on a positive note: A small business that sustains a healthy working environment and creates jobs with fun things like, you know, benefits and living wages in this terrible economy is undoubtably a good thing. That being said, there is absolutely no reason why we can’t poke a little fun at Glenn Beck’s all-American clothing line. Beck may have left Fox News back in June, but don’t ever think that the puffy professor of paranoia would exit without a contingency plan in place for his “fix America one town at a time” project. First there was the online video network GBTV, and it looks like sartorial patriotism is the next stop on Beck’s express train to a better Amurika! 

According to the currently sparse website for 1791: The Original Blueprint, “The mission of Glenn Beck’s 1791 clothing line is to help inspire Americans to remember who we are — and empower them to lead rather than hand everything off to a government bureaucracy. The item kick starting this movement is the ‘Death to Tyranny’ t-shirt.” This t-shirt is a movement starter alright! Beck chose 1791 because this was the year the Bill of Rights (which Beck refers to as ‘The Original Blueprint’) was ratified, and he has said that some of the proceeds will go to charity.

Of the many problems people have with Beck, one that always sticks out is the fact that his abundant use of cheesy slogans and meaningless pro-America statements makes it frequently impossible to discern what the heck he is actually talking about. Yes, the economy is in the tank, and this company will create some domestic jobs. That is all very good. But how will the lofty goals set on Beck’s YouTube business plan become realized through a line of Ed Hardy look-alike t-shirts? “For some, 1791 will simply be a new line of clothing,” he says. “But to others, it will become a way of life.” Gravitas you lack not, Mr. Beck.

Watch the video, and let us know if you’ve figured out how the t-shirts will save us from government tyranny in the comments. Also, wouldn’t Glenn Beck be a great contestant on Project Runway? For your next challenge, designers, you must create a high fashion and a low-end look that perfectly encapsulates your political and socioeconomic views. Make it work!

Read more:
Glenn Beck’s last show on Fox News: Woo hoo!
Glenn Beck launches GBTV: Will his audience pay to watch him online?
Glenn Beck will do it his way, but not in New York, New York

Comments (25 total) Add your comment
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  • Vince

    Oh Yeah that will solve everything, what an idiot

    • LOL

      He’s the face of Crazy.

    • lisa g

      He’s a fat closet freak! Ugh can’t stand him!

  • Z

    The biggest economic boost will be to Glenn’s bank account. The biggest hit will be taken by Glenn’s cult of yahoos and yokels who would buy his used toliet paper if Glenn told them it would be “patriotic”….

    • ann

      Actually all proceeds go to charity. But nice try.

  • twiight sux

    I guess this caursed man is trying to say relevant

  • Flyer

    That “Death to Tyranny” t-shirt is $30!!! It’s a T-shirt!!! I guess Glenn thinks the middle and lower classes aren’t “all-American.”

  • Alyssa

    It will be a cold day in hell when I buy anything from a FOX news reporter. I wouldn’t pay a penny for his books, shirts, etc. Same with Bush, Cheney-Palin, Limbaugh, O’Reilly.

    I will read the wall go streaking before that happens.

  • JPX

    Wow, Beck is still making money off of stupid people.

    • jules

      Hey, at least the douchebags will be easier to spot now…

  • Nat

    ‘Patriotic Clothing line’? There is no one in America who knows less about how to be patriotic than Glenn Beck.

  • markinnyc

    how much you want to bet all of it will be made in China?

    • ann

      Nope, all made by hand in America. But again, nice try.

  • It’s leviOsa, not levioSA

    Only people with half a brain cell & an ounce of taste would by his crappy clothes.

  • JK Rolling thinks you’re a moron

    I bet he knows how to spell “buy”

  • mcprophet

    I felt like I was watching a cult recruitment video. I kept having flashbacks to Tom Cruise’s Scientology video where he said “when you see a man on the side of the road, only a scientologist knows that they can TRULY save him.” Glenn Beck is dangerous for America.

  • ann

    Ah, the arrogance and ignorance of youth and liberals. And folks, when your jobs are downsized as the economy continues to tank while taxes and inflation rise and you complain that you can’t pay your bills, you will no doubt be among the masses hauling your brand name clothes and your iPhones down to Wall Street to complain about the evils of capitalism – aka the folks from whom you currently get a paycheck. And Glenn and the tea party folks will still be the ants toiling away as the grasshoppers complain that work or capitalism or building a business that actually employs people is just too hard and they’d rather chant and update their Facebook all day.

  • joeblow

    i’m confused, granted this won’t “save america” but here’s a nonpartisan charitable plan that will actually create real jobs and commerce, and the government didn’t have to inject itself into the free market for it to happen. why is this a problem?

  • zack

    “Death to Tyranny”. Isn’t that what John Wilkes Booth was trying to say? Shooting a man in the head and saying “thus always to tyrants” is pretty close.

  • tresorparis

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