Image Credit: Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic
If I were “Invisible,” I would sneak into the taping of season 5 of Celebrity Apprentice. Because not only have Cheryl Tiegs and Marco Andretti signed on to star in the next season of Donald Trump’s hugest-show-in-television-history-no-it’s-not-oh-well-let’s-pretend-anyway, but Celebrity Apprentice has reportedly attracted four more cast members: Debbie Gibson (totally rad!), Teresa Giudice (table-flippin’ awesome!), Victoria Gotti (bada bing!), and Clay Aiken (holy argyle!).
As a former Claymate — I was excommunicated five years ago after informing a close friend that, despite her gut feeling to the contrary, she likely would not end up marrying the American Idol runner-up — I don’t think I could be more excited if you told me Aiken planned to dress in a pimp outfit, sing “Bridge Over Troubled Water,” and make me believe that it’s really 2003 again. Of course, as a former Claymate, I also understand that the news that Gibson and Giudice are also involved in Celebrity Apprentice is exciting to the 99 percent of you who don’t worship at the alter of a man who helped make flat-ironing mainstream in the early 2000s. So let’s attempt to determine who will be crowned Trump’s Biggest Ass Kisser of season 5 by examining the four new cast members’ strengths and weaknesses.
Victoria Gotti
Strengths: Trump’s got such a nice yacht, it would really, really be a shame if he somehow fell off and found himself swimming with the fishes.
Weaknesses: Those hair extensions immediately transform her into Giudice bait.
Odds: 20 to 1
Teresa Giudice
Strengths: You only need to look at her best-selling cookbook, kid’s clothing line, and multiple magazine covers to realize this New Jersey Housewife is frighteningly adept at selling herself. Plus, she and The Donald share an interest: prostitution-whores.
Weaknesses: Her unconventional hosting techniques might sour a charity event or ten.
Odds: 10 to 1
Debbie Gibson
Strengths: She’s taken on Giant Octopus, Mega Shark, Mega Python, Gatoroid, and, most impressively, Tiffany. And anyone who survived the 1980s should be able to easily survive the boardroom. Also, this doesn’t hurt her chances with Trump.
Weaknesses: Controlling anger whenever anyone compliments her on “I Think We’re Alone Now.”
Odds: 5 to 1
Clay Aiken
Strengths: Simon Cowell’s heart grew three sizes the day he first met Aiken. Surely, Trump’s heart — or, at least, his hair — will do the same, right? And if Celebrity Apprentice‘s history has proven anything, it’s that well-intentioned singers always have the advantage. (See: Previous winners Bret Michaels and John Rich.) Also, thanks to a degree from the University of North Carolina, Aiken may be one of the only contestants with a resumé that expands beyond pulling out rich ladies’ hair.
Weaknesses: Leather. And Don McLean.
Odds: 2 to 1
What do you think, PopWatchers? Do any of these three possible contestants stand a chance to win?
Follow Kate on Twitter @KateWardEW
Teresa Giudice is such a moron that she couldn’t win any competition that requires five living brain cells. If she lasts more than one episode (that’s if she can find her way into New York from New Jersey), then the show is definitely rigged.
they shouldn’t let her give any input in how to run a business. her husband scammed his business partner out of millions
I never thought I would voluntarily watch this show. But, when the rumors first started flying that Clay would be on, I knew there was no way I could say no. Now, I also have Debbie to look forward to!BTW,I wanna share a good news to you.My best friend ,she just has announced her wedding with a millionaire man who is a celebrity !they met via Millionaireloving.C óM ..it is the largest and best club for celebrity and their admirers to chat online.You do not have to be rich or famous. ,but you can meet one , It’s worthy a try,Maybe you wanna check it out or tell your friends!
My best friend has just announced her wedding with a great man who is a cele+brity!
They met-via { millionaireluv^С^σ^м }
It is nice club for rich men or pretty girls mate.
You do not need to be wealthy or famous, but you can meet your true love, it’s worthy a try.
Still don’t see this group living up to last seasons crew! Not at all.
ITS OFFICIAL, CLAY IS A HAS-BEEN!!
Was he ever a have?!?
You guys are so lame.
Totally agree….
Call me crazy, but I’m liking this season’s participants so far… Could Donatella be this season’s Busey? Dare to dream!
Could have sworn clay Aiken was already on this show once, but I must be wrong.
Matt: Clay has never been on C.A. I do think he has a great chance of finishing either at the top or very close to it. He is very clever, snarky, witty and smart. Clay is one of the most successful of all American Idol contestants-he knows how to WIN.
Really? What has he won?
I can hardly wait. It will be so nice to see Clay Aiken again!
Who knows who Trump will pick-it’s so subjective! It does seem like an interesting group. Love the show-can’t wait.
I never thought I would voluntarily watch this show. But, when the rumors first started flying that Clay would be on, I knew there was no way I could say no. Now, I also have Debbie to look forward to!
Oh, boy…Teresa Guidice and Victoria Gotti on the same show? I am sooo there. Please, God, let there be tension and catfights between these two, please, please!!!!!
DVR event for sure, so you can rewind through all their fights to figure out exactly what they’re screaming at each other. There should be odds on what their first fight will be about. Gotti’s plastic surgery or just Hair in general.
I agree! Victoria and Teresa are either going to get along really well or hate each other! No in between.
Maybe Teresa would call Victoria is 1 of 20 Italian. LOL
If you guys have been watching NJ of wives the latest show.
.
We don’t have a token crazy. . yet anyway. ;o)
The Claymates are the crazies this season!
Love your assessment of the contestants so far. I think you are spot on. Can’t wait to see the rest of the list but so far I’m liking this group. Although I wouldn’t feel safe in the same room as Gotti!! LOL.
Ok, was I the only one who saw that “(Clay Aiken’s)
[w]eaknesses” link and clicked on it expecting to be redirected to some gay S&M/Leather Daddy site? lol
Put William Shatner on this!
As a (somewhat) former Claymate (let’s just say it’s complicated), I’m not happy by this. It’s basically the final nail in the coffin for his career. Obviously, I’ve known it’s been nearly dead for a while, but I was in denial. Sure, I’ll still buy any new music he makes out of loyalty (even if he keeps doing stupid covers), but OH GOD, CLAY, WHY? WHY?
Why? For the kids, of course! He’s doing it for his charity.
Youre actually admitting you were a Claymate?? SMH
I agree that on the screen, non-serif fonts shulod be used they are cleaner and easier to read. I do not like Arial or Helvetica at all; in fact, I would have trouble coming up with the name of a font I do like in the non-serif style. I lean to things like Comic and Lucida when I an looking for non-serif something a little mannered. Perhaps because I dont really see it as print.
what career?
Because 6 million albums, 11 tours and starring on Broadway isn’t a career. *rolls eyes*
I don’t think so. John Rich’s career isn’t dead. Neither is Joan Rivers’ or Piers Morgan’s or Bret Michaels’.
I love how Kate writes CA “attracted four more cast members`. But no, all the cast has been signed since filming begins Monday. Its just that you found out about four of the cast members. I haven`t seen such bad writing since before Slezak went into hiding aka writing for an unpopular website. No hard feelings though Kate. I too wanted Clay to tickle more than my ivories once upon a time.
so who’s the Celebrity?
Help was at hand, however, in the shape of the shocol film society. Im eternally grateful to the master in charge, responsible for introducing me to Bergman, Fellini, Godard etc, and all those wonderful old movies like Kameradeschaft, Metropolis and The White Hell of Pitz Palu. But once my mate and I got on the committee, we dragged it down to our level.
America loves crap.
Leather and Don McLean are not weaknesses for Aiken, just sayin’.
Great news for Clay Aiken fans. He is coming out with a brand new Decca-backed original single in January….and now Celebrity Apprentice. I imagine his experience at starting his own foundation for children with special needs and his work with UNICEF will help his succeed on this show.
You just made 27 people very happy.
More like 17.
More like 27,000,000.