Well-juiced Simon Cowell talks 'American Idol' fatigue, 'X Factor,' orgasmic IV regimen

Simon-Cowell-Paula

Image Credit: Fox

In an interview with GQ, Simon Cowell talks about his total disinterest in his last few seasons of American Idol and how a lawsuit citing similarities between Idol and The X Factor forced him to delay plans to bring his show to the U.S. for five years. It’s a great read whether you dig the guy or not, but the thing that will stick with me most is that Simon Cowell has a multi-person team to make sure his “breakfast appears” every day. Breakfast is seven courses, six of them liquid. GQ provides footnoted recipes of his breakfast smoothies, with each fruit serving measured out to the millimeter.

It’s all very scientific. At this point, his entire life is so immaculately curated that Simon Cowell just doesn’t have to deal. With anything. Ever. He wakes up late, watches The Jetsons, absorbs nutrients, and avoids people. He’s my hero. And here’s something very unfortunate for a person who is not a multimillionaire media mogul: Simon Cowell has brainwashed me into believing I should be on an orgasm-inducing IV at all times. (I should, right?)

On watching old cartoons: “It’s less depressing than watching the news, which is just relentless. You’ve got to try it one morning. You’ll be happy for the rest of the day.”

On American Idol: The first two or three years on Idol, I had a blast. And then, as it got more and more successful, I didn’t want to do it anymore. I just felt I was there being paid to do a role, and after a while that’s not very satisfying. So it was hard work the last couple of years…. If somebody had actually asked me to produce the show, maybe that would have been a different thing.”

On procreation: “With the way I live my life, I wouldn’t have the patience. I’d sort of want people born at the age of 10, I think.”

On nutrition: After a recommendation from Dannii and Kylie Minogue, “each week, Cowell has an intravenous drip with B12, magnesium, vitamin C, and, he says, ‘something for your liver.'” “It sounds odd, but when you have it, it is fantastic,” he says. “One girl came down and actually had two orgasms during the treatment.”

And yet: “if you look in my fridge, it’s like children’s food—chips, milkshakes, yogurt.”

Milkshakes in the fridge, huh? Mine always seem to melt. This guy is really onto something.

Read more:
‘The X Factor’: Are you intrigued or fatigued?
Simon Cowell believes ‘X Factor’ can top ‘Idol’
‘The X Factor”s lively, goofy TCA press conference

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Comments (21 total) Add your comment
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  • allie8

    huh. not sure what to make of this interview… always kind of liked him – thought he was witty and smart but here he sounds like a self-centered, mindless man-child. Not impressed at all.

    • Squishmar

      I feel that way too. I feel kind of resentful for his comments about Idol. I mean, we could all tell he was phoning it in the last couple of seasons… but at least try better to fake it for that kind of money. Hopefully, he’ll be into “The X-Factor” and it will show.

    • JoMarch

      You’re just now figuring out he’s a self-centered jerk? Hmmm… must be the first interview you’ve ever read on him, or maybe the first time you even heard of Simon Cowell. Taking all that pay and not being interested in the job (and behaving that way) makes him a thief, too.

    • Andrew

      Seriously, the whole AI jerk aspect aside, “man-child” is definitely the best word to describe him here. He sounds like he’d be the most insufferable guy in person.

  • davey

    I get such a kick out of these “celebrities” who make a fortune and talk about how “hard” it is to be them – yadda yadda yadda! Maybe you’d feel better if you gave some of your money to help other people or organizations!

    • STOP THE INSANITY

      ok so stop paying attention to these egomaniac buttholes and they will go away

  • Stacey

    It was obvious he was phoning it in, especially the final season where it looked like he was even trying to sobataging the show by giving good feedback to weak contestants and not going after them with venom he would have normally had… So a producing credit could have gotten him to continue on AI. Interesting. Yet even without the negative criticism when they should; I actually think the new version of AI without Simon works better… Simon became too big. And while I will try out X Factor. I almost wishes it fails. So Simon has a major flop and sees that he can’t turn everything to gold!

  • KC

    I wonder if you might find Paula’s head in his freezer one day?

  • Garry

    Sorry, but Simon is beginning to sound like a certifiable nut job, In twenty years time, he’ll be hiding in a hotel suite like Howard Hughes.

    And anyone who has a staff to serve him breakfast every morning should be dragged into an alley and be given a good beating.

    • STOP THE INSANITY

      ignore him and he will go away_just like that rash you picked up while on vacation!

  • Ryan

    A milkshake to the brits is actually quite different from what you Americans consider to be a milkshake. Our is quite literally milk shaken, with flavor. Thickness is not a necessary component for us.

    • Tatum

      Re: milkshakes: Thickness is not a component?? You Brits have to ruin everything don’t you?? :D

      • JC

        No ice in the drinks, mashed peas, it’s not wrong, just a different mindset.

  • huangzhenwei

    It was obvious he was phoning it in, especially the final season where it looked like he was even trying to sobataging the show by giving good feedback to weak contestants and not going after them with venom he would have normally had… So a producing credit could have gotten him to continue on AI. Interesting. Yet even without the negative criticism when they should; I actually think the new version of AI without Simon works better… Simon became too big. And while I will try out X Factor. I almost wishes it fails. So Simon has a major flop and sees that he can’t turn everything to gold!

    • used_to_like_simon

      Until Season 5 he was excellent to me. After that… he was really bored and didn’t mind about faking it. It was so obvious. He should have quit before.

  • Steve

    So sorry to hear he got bored with the job which earned him millions, thanks to all of us viewers tuning in. I really feel sorry for him.

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  • gayle baughn

    This was my favorite show for years. Last year I totally lost interest and skipped even the finale. The candidates weren’t interesting and there was no unusual talent. I really loved the first few years and the auditions! Funny as hell sometimes. They really uncovered some freaks.

    • RCB

      I skipped AI’s finale too. After Haley got eliminated, I just lost interest. Judges were so biased in favor of Scotty and Lauren.

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