The problem with modern action movies is not that they are stupider than vintage ’80s action movies, but rather, that they have become so bland, so milquetoast, so flavorless, the entire genre rendered insubstantial by the triple tidal wave of political correctness, the everybody-kinda-likes-vanilla method of winning over the global audience, and the brutal tyranny of the PG-13 rating. For truly, who among us doesn’t yearn for a more colorful time, when action heroes weren’t so emo, when the fate of the world wasn’t always at stake, and when a wild dude like Paul Verhoeven could introduce a three-breasted mutant prostitute into the hallowed history of cinema in the middle of Total Recall. But on that note, don’t despair, friends. Because today is a day for rejoicing: In a video interview with Collider, director Len Wiseman explicitly promises that there will be “a three-breasted woman” in his upcoming Total Recall remake, which will be PG-13. So instead of a prostitute, she will probably be a passionate social worker or perhaps a kooky city girl who’s successful in business but unlucky in love — waka waka Heigl Heigl — but the important thing is that Wiseman clearly states (around the 19 minute mark) that “you can’t make Total Recall without certain things,” which is true about three things in particular.
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Read more:
Comic-Con 2011: Did fans like their first look at ‘Total Recall’?
Comic-Con 2011: Totally beautiful ‘Total Recall’ stars talk totally awesome footage
Tit for tat.
Let’s hope it’s got more going for it than this.
You must be dreaming. Ahahahaha
Yes to this article. Yes to Len Wiseman. Yes to Paul Verhoven. Can’t wait to see this remake even though I love the original.
Why did I automatically think “Chandler Bing”?
because Chandler is not “about to show her his ‘tat’. ”
I think of Chandler each time someone says “tit for tat.” it came from a friends episode where Chandler accidentally saw Rachel’s ___, hence the ‘tat’.
add a few more and she can look like my dog after it had puppies. REAL attractive.
Amy Winehouse, had she lived, would have been an easy shoe-in for the three-breasted woman.
good call
after Len Wiseman destroyed the Die Hard franchise I can only imagine how he’s gonna butcher this fine film.
How did he destroy it? It made lots of money, sold lots of DVDs and a sequel is shooting soon. Hardly destroyed. Also the PG13 thing was Fox, not Wiseman (Not saying he’s a great director, just that your statement doesn’t appear to make much sense). What did you mean?
I actually liked the last Die Hard movie.
Better idea is go back to the source material, because the first movie was complete garbage, and it looks like this one will be as well
How is it complete garbage? Most people consider it one of Schwarzenegger’s best films as well as an example of a great action movie.
Bob, I no longer have any respect for you or your lame opinions.
come on! with today’s cgi effects why aren’t they upping it to four breasts or more?
Christ, do they have to remake everything, get some original ideas jackasses
Man no kidding!
This town has completely run out of originality. It’s just one crappy movie after another crappy movie.
This is wrong on so many levels.
Glad to see they’re setting priorities.
Thanks for keeping us abreast of the situation. Wakka Wakka Wakka!
Can’t wait until the movie comes to HBO so I can watch it on the boob tube. Wakka Wakka Wakka!
Sweet! I’m assuming she’ll just be wearing a bra in this version.
He did NOT say she would be topless!