'Pregnant in Heels' premiere: 'Do you know how hormonal I am?'

pregnant-in-heels

Image Credit: Miranda Penn Turin/Bravo

Thanks to the world of reality TV, America’s children now have actual proof of their parents making fools of themselves before they were born. For the children born from Bravo’s newest voyeuristic experiment, Pregnant in Heels, it’s a chance to see just how ridiculous their high maintenance moms were leading up to their birth, as the expectant mothers stumbled through and paid (large sums of money) for the services of maternity concierge Rosie Pope. The self-described pregnancy guru helps new parents prepare for their children by acclimating them to the world of strollers, breast pumps, and projectile pooping. Rosie prefaced the show with the observation “women are bitchy anyway,” which is a severe understatement when considering the overly hormonal clients featured in last night’s premiere episode.

Sarah and Jon are affluent Tribeca residents who desperately hoped their enviable life wouldn’t be tarnished by a (gasp) ugly baby. The successful couple felt a child shouldn’t require them to change their lifestyle, and firmly told Rosie they didn’t plan to dote on their little sucker just because he or she spent nine months holed up inside mommy’s tummy. You’re not special! Daddy made it to high level one on Angry Birds today. Don’t flatter yourself.

I’m not sure if it was the fact that Sarah hadn’t bought one baby item in anticipation of her birth or that she was referring to her unborn child as a “life force sucking parasite,” but either way, Rosie deemed the couple in need of a serious psychological breakthrough. Her decision to refer them to a doctor was met with opposition at first (don’t disturb the hormonal lady) but soon revealed itself to be helpful to the anxiety-ridden couple. Rosie’s magic actually seemed to work. Like Patti Stanger’s success stories on Millionaire Matchmaker, the guru took a clueless couple and managed to get them physically and emotionally baby ready by outfitting a proper nursery (with limited cutesy stuff) and helping to bring out Sarah’s maternal side, sans baby talk.

Meanwhile, Rosie’s second clients, Samantha and Mitch Jacobs, are proof that despite what anyone says about this economy, self-absorbed people will pay anything to have their life choices validated. Name dropping is big with these two — they hang with Mike (Bloomberg) and Tom (Brokaw) on the regular — which explains why they agonized over what to call their son. But don’t blame their behavior on parental naiveté. The Jacobs already have two children, whose names (Ruby and Ella) they apparently regret to this day (they’re one Miles or Louis away from a jazz trio). Start paying for those therapy bills now, baby one and two. Mommy and Daddy are spending thousands of dollars on your little brother from inside the womb, so he can become the “marquee” name of the Jacobs clan and make a run for office one day.

I can be indecisive, but heck, I didn’t think it was this hard to name a child. Why not go with something in the family? Your grandmother’s name, your first grade teacher’s, or even the name of your favorite television character? After establishing strict guidelines, Rosie had given the Jacobs a panel of experts and a focus group to discuss their final choices. Among them: Bode, Asher, and Holden. While they couldn’t stomach anything that began with a J, R, or E, referred to decorative items, or ended in an S, they had no problem choosing monikers that call to mind the drunk Olympic skier, eternal college partier, or iconic literary misanthrope. In the end, the couple renounced everyone’s time and effort by going with their own choice, Bowen Asher, which sounds like a preppy attackman on a D-1 lacrosse team (or some kind of new, uncharted skin disease). Happy trails, baby Bowen. Now get started on your presidential campaign and make sure that veep you’re eyeing isn’t named Porter or Theodore.

Yes, Rosie appears to be good at her job, and yes, she pleases her clients, but there’s only so many hormones one can take in an hour-long show (and isn’t that what The Real Housewives is for?). Is there a real demand for an upscale pregnancy concierge, or does Rosie simply cater to privileged, frazzled New Yorkers who don’t have time to read a few chapters of What To Expect When You’re Expecting?

Did you watch Pregnant in Heels? Has Bravo struck gold again, or should this one take a time out?

Comments (59 total) Add your comment
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  • SLB

    Why do we keep rewarding stupid people with fame?

    • Why?

      Not only stupid people but people with money.

      I am almost believing that Bravo is purposely trying to start a class war in this country.

      How much longer are people going to support shows like this where the rich idiots get richer for nothing. And the worst part is, is that the people buying these celebutards junk are people who will never, ever, live in that lifestyle.

      Pathetic.

      • Lois

        Oh, You said a mouth full! I could not agree with you more, this show is a disgrace and an insult to people that are “normal” and trying to have children and then to insult them farther Bravo put this crap on the air. These people dont deserve these children or the money they have to support them! Disgusting! Bravo you have lost a fewer for sure! SUCKS!!!!

      • blb724

        Thank gawd I am not the only one annoyed by this! I think it’s time we celebrate the mom who busts her a$$ – sometimes without a dad around – to raise her kid right (or vice-versa)! OR, the unemployed family struggling to clothe and feed their kids because some rich b@stard (like the people hiring this woman) laid them off so they could fill an entire closet with newborn onesie’s and diamond-encrusted tiara’s. These people make me sick. I save my respect and kudos for the deserving – the people in this world who actually get their hands dirty. Not these airheads living in la-la land who have no clue how hard it really is to raise decent kids by their own hand!

  • heej

    I love how with all the time and planning spent they never did the “playground” test. “Tucker”, really?

  • SLT

    Watched the show, those women are truly crazy. I do like Rosie though. She seems pretty grounded.

    • Mean Girls fan

      does she have an hearing issue? She sounded like a British Marley Matlin..

      • dv4sc

        Sounds like she has Marbles in her mouth!!

      • Why?

        (Via Twitter)She claims she moved to US from England at 18 and had a Mississippi boyfriend. Those two factors she attributes to her weird accent.

      • Nina

        It seems pretty clear she has a speech impediment that she has worked to overcome–although it hasn’t been entirely successful. Ah well, the dimwit parents-to-be seem to understand her well enough.

  • JRG

    I tried to watch this and I know it’s not her fault, but I could not stand the way Rosie talks with that lisp. I also hate how Patti Stanger gets all this credit for matchmaking. Have you seen her show? Her matches (at least on the show)are almost always horrible.

    • dv4sc

      As stated before, she sounds like she has Marbles in her Mouth!!

      • Mean Girls fan

        she wears hearing aids. I think I saw them. Or maybe I was just distracted bt LT’s hair..

  • JT

    I liked Rosie too, and enjoyed laughing at the ridiculous couples. The second couple, the Jacobs, took themselves waaaaaaaaaaay too seriously. They would be the people who I would fall over laughing at something they said, such as, does this name sound like someone who would make a presidential run in 2060, and then look up in embarassment and realize they were serious.

  • GHR

    I LOVED this show. The couples are jaw-droppingly arrogant and self-centered but Rosie seems very grounded. I think I’m going to totally enjoy watching this show.

  • mammame

    Do you really think they PAID for this? No Way! I would want all of that baby naming stuff if it was free!

  • Coco

    All that effort to get to Bowen? What is special about that name? even as a last name it is fairly pedestrian.

  • crispy

    These people are the reason why I support strict licensing requirements to become parents.

    • Sue Laforet

      Seriously! That second lady was insufferable. What a stuck up you know what! A panel to decide a name? Give me a break! And did you see how she dismissed Rosie’s opinion and only wanted the “experts” opinions? Oh Miss high and mighty I feel sorry for your kids (and husband!!!)Get a life!!!!

    • jennrae

      Thankfully, having a baby is a biological right and not up to the government or our community to determine if we are fit parents. Having licensing requirements, as you put, is a sure way to wipe out the lower class. These people sound repulsive but I shudder to think what the masses think are appropriate parents. No one is fit to judge another person’s ability as a parent.

  • ctkat1

    I enjoyed that the second couple probably dropped several tens of thousands of dollars on a name that the brainstorming group, the focus group, and their friend group all denounced- Bowen. Which was the name they wanted at the beginning- money well spent, people!!!

    The first couple was a little more realistic- I think it’s more common for couples to deal with a (surprise?) pregnancy the way that couple was dealing- by pretending that their life wasn’t going to change and that they were prepared when obviously they weren’t. I think Rosie Pope was actually helpful in that case- she gave them a nursery (which they didn’t seem able to pull together themselves) and she gave them a reality check about having a baby.
    Ultimately they would have gotten there on their own once the baby was born, but getting ready pre-birth is always good.

    • KWise

      Yeah, the second couple basically spent thousands of dollars only to learn that people hate their chosen name. So not only did the money NOT produce a new name, it actually revealed to them how despised their favorite name was (information they probably never would have learned had they not spent the money, since friends would have otherwise primarily given the generic, polite “oh isn’t that a nice name” after the baby was born).

      • mammame

        Reality shows don’t make people pay for the services so i bet they got it all free.

  • KWise

    As someone who is currently 40 weeks pregnant (+ 3 days), I LOVE this show! I wish it had debuted earlier in my pregnancy – I feel so much more confident now in my own abilities, and my own decisions, as a to-be-mother. Those couples last night were CRAZY! I now think my kid will turn out ok (of course, I’m currently throwing together a last-minute focus group to test out our final 3 boy names……I can’t believe I didn’t think of that sooner).

    • KLD

      I will join your focus group!

      Good luck with the end of your pregnancy!

  • Fatima

    This show was a lot more entertaining than I expected. I think what sold me was that Rosie was very aware of how ridiculous everything she was doing was.

    • JT

      Yes! I love that she didn’t buy into any of the nonsense. But she’ll happily take their money…

  • Caryn

    Emily-thank you. I was waiting for you to post something on this (as well as how uncomfortable Andy looked during the AWFUL live rh of miami reunion-please bravo-let this city die!) because it was brilliant. I was appalled by the first couple-but when the therapist came and labeled her as anxiety ridden I took a step back. As soon as I saw this chick on Bethenny, I figured Andy would immediately get her on.

    • Fatima

      I loved the Miami reunion because it was the sound of 6 women fighting for their lives and for renewal. Adrianna was so aware of the show’s waning status that she stepped up the crazy immediately. I actually want them back because there are a lot of fights set up for next season and first seasons are rarely polished in the first place. Seriously, go watch NY Season 1…I think if it debuted today people would want that canceled too.

    • Fatima

      I also think Andy was uncomfortable because he realized what a mistake a live reunion was immediately. The women were crazy, but they were even more crazy because they knew they had such a limited time to get their points across that they were yelling over each other. Normally those reunions tape ALL day but this format made them all panic and get messy.

      • Caryn

        ‘Stepped up the crazy immediately’ so true and made me laugh; thanks Fatima. I also liked when she yelled ‘if everyone was like me this would be bigger than Beverly Hills.’ You know what’s funny? I did see season 1 of NY recently on a personal day off from work-and while it was a trainwreck the characters were at least likable. These Miami girls are super boring and think they’re so great–you married someone rich–big deal. Go on basketball wives, not real housewives.

    • Becca

      Ha. The show was already probably filming long before her Bethenny appearance, and they put her on the show as a cross-promotion. They filmed the pilot in ’08 apparently, and the rest of the episodes in early 2010.

  • JPan

    Love Rosie Pope! She did an amazing job and her store is fantastic!

  • dv4sc

    Rosie Pope, The self-described pregnancy Guru, needs to take ALL the MARBLES out of her mouth before she tries to speak on camera!!! She by far has the most annoying voice/dialect I have ever heard on programmed television!!!

    • mostboringseasonever

      She seems like a sweet woman, but I could not understand a single word she said. I had to turn it off.

      • marcig

        How about a little sensitivity. She sound like she has some sort of speech impediment, so I give her credit for rising above it and not letting it hold her back.

    • Hillary

      I sooo agree Rosie is annoying with every word she speaks!!! What the he’ll is wrong with that accent!!! Couldn’t they find someone better!! I can’t stand listening that that annoying voice!! Can’t believe people are this arrogant to make a show this stupid!!!!

    • Hillary

      Sooo agree!!!!

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