By now, you’ve probably seen and heard enough from Charlie Sheen on the Today Show, Piers Morgan Tonight, and Howard Stern Show to last a lifetime, but ABC is showcasing more of his craziness/truth in the hopes that you’ll tune in to another interview on 20/20 tonight. At this point, I’m no longer curious about his unusual homelife — which he shares with two “goddesses” — or his “war” to keep Two and a Half Men on the air. I’m only interested in the pithy slogans he coins and the outrageous quotes that have have never, ever been uttered before by human tongues. Here are my top-nine from tonight’s 20/20 interview with Andrea Canning:
1. “I am on a drug: It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”
2. “I get in trouble for being honest … I’m extremely old-fashioned.”
3. “I was banging seven gram rocks and finishing them. Because that’s how I roll.”
4. “[I'm not bi-polar]. I’m bi-winning. I win here; I win there.”
5. “Dying’s for fools.”
6. “Can’t is the cancer of happen.”
7. “Hey kids, your dad’s a rock star. Look at his experiences. Look at what he survived.”
8. “I’m proud of what I created [referring to his party and drug binges]. It was radical … I exposed people to magic.”
… and my all-time favorite: “The [partying] run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards — all of them — look like droopy-eyed, armless children.”
Check out ABC’s previews, starting with this one.
Read more:
Charlie Sheen calls Howard Stern
Chuck Lorre vanity card: ‘I am so outta here!’
Charlie Sheen says he’d apologize to Moonves, puts down John Stamos as ‘Men’ replacement
‘Two and a Half Men’ crew will get paid
Sheen lawyer: Pay him for dumped episodes!
Lawyer: Charlie Sheen doesn’t have a case
Charlie Sheen says he will sue CBS, apologizes (sort of) to Chuck Lorre
Charlie Sheen on ‘Today’: ‘It’s $3 mil an episode, take it or leave it’
Charlie Sheen passes drug test
At this point, I honestly feel like Charlie Sheen would grant ME an interview.
He’s a warlock, you know.
That might actually be my first question: “Why are you a warlock?”
(Actually, my real first question would almost certainly be, “Um, Charlie, what the f—?!”
What did Michael Jackson try to say?
Charlie Sheen questions Obama about 9/11
despite AIPAC controlled media censorship.
Mel Gibson does not play dumb about 9/11 either.
I think the media is being quite unfair to Sheen right now. His obvious jokes are taken very seriously, his awesome one-liners are taken out of context and labeled bizarre, and his choice to engage in a form of rehab that is personalized for him is derided as something less than genuine. I think the media has an interest in piling on against Sheen, calling his interviews erratic, etc., because it helps draw viewers to the interviews. However, he sounds quite rationale in his interviews – even boring sometimes – but you have to be able to tell what is hyperbole, what is a joke and what’s just not that big a deal. I highly doubt most people have watched or listened to the interviews in their entirety. Instead, people are taking their cues from the media headlines with biased judgments that, again, are mostly intended to draw viewership.
I don’t support Sheen’s drug use – I’m glad he’s testing clean and certainly hope that continues – but I hope he’s able to gain some benefit from this media blitz, because his ability to capture the media’s attention is the only weapon he really has. Groveling would only make things worse… let’s be clear: he was not fired for drugs and sex, he was fired because he ranted against his boss – who had been making fun of him publicly for years. While I don’t sympathize with many of Sheen’s choices, I do sympathize with that.
Good luck on sobriety and employment, Charlie. Not everyone misunderstands you.
Sorry. I watched the whole Morgan interview, and while he sounded fairly normal on the surface, his mannerisms and appearance were still clearly those of a MAJOR crack addict. You simply don’t cure yourself of a drug as powerful as that by using the “power of your mind”.
The man is also under great pressure, he’s completely dominating the news cycle, he has done nonstop media interviews, and he’s being criticized by everyone (as I said, somewhat unfairly). And, of course, he’s going through what is no doubt a difficult detox period. Even without the detox, that’s a recipe for awkward mannerisms. My point is simply that he’s not as crazy and erratic as the media makes him seem when you take his quotes out of context. And it sounds like you agree with me, saying that he sounded “fairly normal.” Of course he has healing to do, and I pray he succeeds, but the concept that he’s acting totally nuts during these interviews just isn’t very accurate.
Its called drugs people. He’s not joking, drugs have f-ed up his brain.
FYI: He just tested negative with blood and urine tests NEGATIVE for a full array of drugs.
FYI – it was only accurate to 72 hours.
Who says he tested negative? When? I’m curious. I’ve seen people write about these tests, but who/what is the source?
All classic symptoms of crack…. sweating, no sleep, active, loss of weight, and on and on. Its not judging, it is all the signs. If people cared, people would not enable.
He’s starting to act as delusional as Gadhafi. “All my fans love me” is pretty close to “All my people love me and would die to protect me.”
Watching Charlie self destruct at this point isn’t funny anymore, just really depressing.
we need a talking charlie doll, pull a string he says a different catch phase
I don’t think he is on drugs or drinking anymore. I honestly think he is turning crazy right before our eyes.
I’m going to have to ditto that…he’s either trying to pull a stunt to top Joaquin Phoenix’s “I’m quitting acting to become an extremely untalented rapper” gig, or he’s mentally deteriorating day after day.
It’s called Bi-Polar people!! I have seen this for real- and he fits the bill!! Hope he gets help.
You mean, bi-winning!
I think you may be right… have a bipolar child (nearly 18) and other family members and it would be easier to accept but he just sounds so freaking wacked
Bi polar does not explain other signs that are consistent. Dual diagnosis maybe. But he is/was self medicating and diagnosing until he was hospitalised. And that info is confidential. Too bad so many people have stigma, and trust issues because he and others would benefit rather than be in denial. My opinion of course… I am a mental health, drug and alcohol advocate… who knows why people don’t trust the system.
It’s called Lithium, Charlie, get some soon.
Somewhere out there, Jon Cryer has a pillow over his head, sobbing ‘Why me’.
Just an interjection for all you ‘Charlie haters’: Fact – Pablo Picasso was a brilliant talented artist, who WAS crazy by all accounts. But that doesn’t reduce the value of his work, does it? His work is valued all over the world. He, also, lived an unconventional lifestyle that most didn’t approve of. He did, however, get the last laugh. Lesson: Don’t judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. ~ Unless you have ALL the information about the situation, it’s best not to judge. Let the courts and lawyers sort it out, because they will have access to all the information necessary to make an educated and informed decision.
I’m sorry – did you just compare Charlie Sheen to Pablo Picasso? Or were you comparing Two and a Half Men to a Picasso painting? Just getting some clarification….
But you’re okay with people comparing him to Gaddafi? A murderous dictator? That’s all over the news too.
Ugh, I am dissappointed in your comment Cincylndies – hardly an adequate comparison. Sheen ain’t no Picasso other than the fact they are both over-rated.
Charlie Sheen meet Tom Cruze, you’re now as wacked in the head as he is now!
What’s happening with his children? I heard they are living with him…He can self-destruct and he is, but I hope someone is going to protect his kids from his psychotic behaviour.
my heart goes out to his family and the people that love him..it is hard to watch someone destroy themselves..
The guy is living life the way he wants to. He’s definitely on the path to self destruction if he keeps going this way, but you know he’s living HIS life the way He wants to, and who can him for that?! As long as his kids or anyone else is not harmed by it, I say GO CHARLIE!!!
What a TRAIN WRECK