'30 Rock': Hookup on the Orient Express (Malarkey!)

30-ROCKImage Credit: Ali Goldstein/NBCFresh off her breakup from Pilot Carol, our dear Elizabeth Lemon decided to accept her downward spiral into spinsterhood. She rocked a fanny pack and held her hair back with a chip clip. For icing on her spinster cake, she adopted a cat and named her Emily Dickinson. She completed her look with an oversize hoodie and sweatpants. (But I don’t judge on that last one. Liz Lemon might just be my frumpy fashion icon. Truth.) Jenna wanted to help Liz rebound…sexually. So, she took her to a club that only Lemon could enjoy. At first, Liz was hesitant of the “hipster nonsense” but she came around after meeting the suave Anders. (AKA the yummy Eion Bailey.) The new couple hit it off, complete with a full-on spinning camera kiss outside the bar. It was then I cried, “Malarkey!”

Did Lemon really hit it off so quickly with someone not related to her? Well she hit it off well enough to make it to first base, which is what Jack considers sex with a stranger. But despite what Dennis may say, Lemon’s no dummy. She began to piece together the plot all of her TGS co-workers worked up to get her life going again. In an epic nod to Agatha Christie and her Murder on the Orient Express, Liz made sense of her one-night stand. But instead of going with the obvious conspiracy theory to explain her hookup, Lemon chose to believe this: “Liz Lemon got some and felt good about it!”

Meanwhile, Jack was prepping for licensing negotiations between NBC and Kabletown. His home life with the Trinidadian night nurse, Sherry, seemed to mirror work as he tried and failed to negotiate her salary. Are you telling me Jack Donaghy can’t negotiate a simple salary? I cry malarkey again! Turns out the emotional component of her taking care of his newborn, Liddy, gave Sherry all the leverage. He tried to take it away by saying he didn’t even care about the baby. This lasted all of two seconds until he heard Liddy cry over the baby monitor. Instead of a fair salary, he ended up agreeing to send every member of Sherry’s family to college. Despite being “reamed by a woman wearing Winnie the Pooh hospital pants,” Jack was able to use this lesson to his advantage in his real negotiations. Nicely played, Mr. Donaghy.

Over in people-who-are-not-Liz-and-Jack land, Pete and Frank formed a band. Apparently, Pete once lived the dream for three months when he was in Loverboy. (Not really, people.) That is until he gave it all up for a college scholarship to study TV budgeting. But you know what? “It’s never too late for now. / Yesterday’s dreams are gone. / But today I’m singing this song!” And thus, Sound Mound was born. Also, the catchphrase “It’s never too late for now” will start being used by 30 Rock fans everywhere.

Other “It’s Never Too Late For Now” highlights:

++ “And I blew all three (long pause) opportunities!” –Lemon on her past failed relationships

++ Lemon knowing that she could fit (cat) Emily Dickinson’s entire head in her mouth

++”My fanny pack is in my office in my mini fridge. I like my tampons cold!” –Liz (and really, who else could it be?) I’m not sure if I even want to know if this is a real thing women do.

++ The only thing Jack and his new daughter have in common is a fondness of Avery’s breasts.

++ “How about this for ID: I participated in Hands Across America.” –Lemon to the bartender after she realized her license is missing

++ Yuki, Sound Mound’s version of Yoko Ono

++ “My heart’s pounding like I’m watching Oprah’s farewell season!” –Lemon

++ Canal Yards Project = Tracy Jordan’s Place

++ “He was not a Swiss prostitute that Martha Stewart recommended to me.” — Jack’s response to who Anders was

I love 30 Rock so much I often find it can do no wrong. Last night had a lot of great Liz Lemon one-liners (i.e. learning her hair color is called “Grandfather’s Shoe”), but I thought the episode as a whole fell a little flat. Maybe it was Tracy’s absence. Or maybe I missed hearing Kenneth’s voice. (I’m pretty sure the only sound he made the whole episode was clapping as Liz unraveled the hookup conspiracy.) But as they say (and by they, I mean me),  a bad day of 30 Rock beats a good day of anything else. What did you think of last night’s episode? It’s never too late to now share your comments below.

Follow Breia on Twitter: @breiabrissey

Comments (62 total) Add your comment
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  • Anders

    One of the best episodes ever. Triumphant.

    • HD

      I thought the band was called Sound Mound.

      • Babs

        Me too, HD.

      • jk

        It was definitely Sound Mound. And yeah, the cold tampon thing freaked me out too, Breia (and I’m a girl, too).

      • Katie G

        I had my close captions on – it was Sound Mound….which is totally more hilarious then Sound Bound

      • Breia Brissey

        Thanks, guys! I’ll update with Sound Mound! You ears are much better than mine!

      • pastafarian

        my ears heard Sound Bound, but my eyes saw Sound Mound. I could see the confusion. Regardless, Sound Mound rocks the town.

    • frommtlwithlove

      I COULDN’T AGREE MORE (yes my enthusiasm si such, that I have to use Caps Lock)

  • Kana

    It was a very clever episode, like Jenna’s organ slimming pills with a little meth. Liz was an excellent Hercule Poirot but I missed Tracy.

    • Snsetblaze

      Because the body needs a little meth.

      • Tom Brazelton

        Where can I find these fabulous organ-slimming pills?

  • LOL

    A hawk got her!

    • no cars go

      that line made me laugh so loud.

  • Marshall1

    I thought this was much better than last week’s mean episode….
    very clever, and lots of Liz-isms (I coin this term..lol!)
    it’s really good to not see Tracy Jordan for a change (he’s always the weakest link to me), and it’s cool to see more of Pete!

    • LOL

      Amen. The show could lose Tracy and he wouldn’t be missed.

    • Snsetblaze

      Yes but what would happen to dot.com and Griz? I though they did a good job of covering the actor’s medical leave.

      • Marshall1

        I think they should give dot.com and Griz one major episode and see….30 rock….5 seasons…still funny
        Modern Family is not funny anymore after 1 season….I still think it’s first season is one of the best TV comedies in a long time

  • Brandon R.

    Jack imitating the nanny at the negotiating table was CLASSIC. I could not stop laughing.

  • Dave

    I thought it was a solid episode (and a sold episode of 30 Rock is a darn good half hour of TV in my book). The highlight of course was Liz piecing together the conspiracy. How great was it that instead of getting the editing lady to join in the conspiracy (she could have just faked being sick or something), they actually poisoned her!?!?
    The organ slimming pills thing was funny because they have meth in them (which Jenna already needs!).

    • Jenn

      American Sub Very Clean Please Come In

  • spence

    enjoyed reading agatha christie novels..loved the conspiracy take. thank you

    • Bobby’s Robot

      Murder on the Orient Express is one of my favorite movies – love when my worlds collide

  • cindy

    ‘No’ to cold Tampons! Whatever Liz does – assume the opposite is true!

  • vic

    I love 30 Rock. Any episode is a good episode


    Not flat, great! Last week’s episode was the only downer/flat episode I think I can recall of 30 Rock. I hope Emily Dickinson is okay…

  • HeadOverHeels

    I have such a crush on Tina Fey/Liz Lemon.

  • Nicole

    I disagree. I loved it. It was a sweet episode. And the scenes with the nanny were very true. It is hard to negotiate with nannies and hairdressers. Once you find a good one you are too scared to let them go.

    • Mr. Holloway

      The scene near the end where Liz points out how lucky a person would have to be to have an entire staff of people who know her so well AND care enough to concoct such a plan was among the sweetest in the show’s run.

      • Carol

        Yes and did you catch Jack’s subtle tearing up when she said that – Alec Baldwin is such a wonderful actor.

  • kel

    As a fan of “Murder on the Orient Express” I thought it was great just based on her summing up at the end of the episode. Plus a cat named Emily Dickenson.

  • diane

    Totally agree, 30 Rock typically can do no wrong…if I laugh out loud even once during an episode, I’m happy! The cold tampon line…only the amazing Fey could write that line AND deliver it, I’m sure…didn’t really miss Tracey b/c I love when it all goes back to the writer’s room…and the bar brawl with Lutz crying on the floor…hysterical!

  • reb

    I’m waiting for a Sound Mound/Jeffster face off. Hey– they’re both NBC shows. It could totally happen.

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