'The Simpsons': Do all of the McBain clips add up to a killer action movie?

Are the producers of The Simpsons even sneakier than we thought? Consider the following video evidence, which stitches together all of those ’90s Simpsons clips featuring Rainier Wolfcastle in action as McBain, the Arnold Schwarzenegger/Bruce Willis-spoofing movie action hero. Turns out, they kinda-sorta add up to a short film in which McBain butts heads with his by-the-book boss (“Bye, book,” he declares after literally shooting the captain’s book), avenges the death of his partner (who was just two days away from retiring and sailing away with his wife on their newly christened boat, The Live-4-Ever!) by taking down Senator Mendoza (who’s been moonlighting as the head of an international drug cartel!), and gets the girl (“Right now, I’m thinking of holding another meeting… in bed”). So, was this part of an ancient secret master plan that is only now coming to light? “It was always just conceived as the most melodramatic fragments of a bigger movie where we never really had a big movie in mind,” Simpsons exec producer Al Jean tells EW. Jean did, however, open the door for the McBain mini-movie to eventually add a few scenes: “If Schwarzenegger goes back into movies, then we’ll go back into McBain.” And he left us with this quip: “If we edited together all the Itchy & Scratchys, we’d have The Simpsons Movie 2.”

What did you think of this McBain extravanganza? What’s your favorite McBain moment? (Consider: “Ice to see you!”) And let’s just get crazy for a second — would you rather watch a full-length McBain film, an Itchy & Scratchy flick, or a real Simpsons Movie sequel?

Comments (87 total) Add your comment
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  • MWeyer

    And it’s better than the last five Arnie movies.

    • Brandon Routh IS Superman

      The Simpsons stink, has not been funny since 1996, should have been cancelled a long time ago, it hangs around now purely for the nostalgia factor

      • jimmycurry01

        It is certainly a shadow of its former self, although I would give it a few more years than you.

      • Bruce_F

        The name “Brandon Routh IS Superman” negates any and all opinions you have or may have in the future.

        Hail to the chimp.

      • Dee

        It’s getting better and better!

      • alex

        Wow, that has to be the most original comment in the history of mankind. So what if The Simpsons are not what they used to be? They still beat about any other sitcom on TV. Also, Brandon Routh was easily the worst Superman on film. In short, you are an idiot.

      • joe the dirt

        I think they should make a Star Wars movie with Simpsons characters, that would be awesome.

      • Remy Cool

        Any show that hangs around for over 20 years has to be doing something right, otherwise it would have been canceled. You argument is invalid.

      • dman

        you realize that comment of yours is like 15 years old. it’s unoriginal. boring. lame. tired. your comments years ago were much more original and sharp. how sad for you. please stop posting anywhere.

      • Anya

        @Joe the dirt – Family Guy beat them to it, but it would be fun for a collaboration for parodies of Episodes 1-3.

      • truth

        @joethedirt they should do LOTR instead

    • Jennifer Never Wrong

      What in God’s name?
      This is an article about how they are NOT making a McBain show/movie.

      Pathetic EW writer.

      And a bunch of monronic sheep in this thread.

      • David

        I love the smell of irony in the morning.

      • Troy

        Yeah! What a bunch of monrons!

      • Kruel

        yeah moronic sheep.like anyone who posts on popwatch. oh wait aren’t we all posting on popwatch?

      • plushpuppy

        baabaabaabaa

      • zank

        Anyone who post here is a moron…D’oh

  • Ruth

    I was going to say The Simpsons’ Movie 2, but this clip makes me want a full length McBain movie.

    • jk

      Here, here!

      • SirLizard

        jk, it’s “hear, hear”, not “here, here”.

  • Kris

    This. Is. Amazing.

  • HD

    “Ice to see you” reminded me of the horridly craptacular dialogue of Arnie’s Mr. Freeze in Batman & Robin.

    • Bobby

      Pretty sure that was the point.

    • SirLizard

      Yeah, it was supposed to.

      • Terry

        Batman & Robin came out a few years after that episode, but, yeah, it’s generally supposed to be an Arnie imitation.

  • dee123

    Love It that was when i fell on the floor laughing at The Simpsons & not when i just giggled a couple of times.

  • West Archer

    “To human misery!” is one of the funniest one-dimensional one liners ever. God bless The Simpsons. Heck, I checked out a recent episode from season 22 called “Homer the Father” and it was brilliant. I understand the hateful sentiments towards the recent episodes, but they are still on the mark. And let’s not forget: when The Simpsons are brilliant, they aren’t “TV-brilliant.” They transcend beyond all television merit to something completely original and fantastic.

    • Joe

      Yep, the McBain beginning “Last Exit to Springfield” was easily his best. “No one’s that evil in real life…”

  • Michael Schaeffer

    MCBAIN!!!!!

  • Kel Varnsen

    “Any new business? Only your death” is classic I also like the McBain movie where he fights commie nazis.

    • josh

      okay sorry but you can not be both a “commie” and a Nazi they have seriously conflicting ideologies. but the Simpsons has been doing great recently and i’m really looking forward to more

      • Kel Varnsen

        To quote McBain himself: “That’s the Joke”.

  • javi

    i would love to see a doble feature dvd with mcbain movie and a itchy&scratchy film and i hope they do some day now days they can use cgi for mcbain fx or do it japanimation style either way would be awesome.

  • Jessica

    What I really want is a Troy McClure movie; sadly, that can never be.

    • Amanda

      aww, why you gotta go and be so depressing like that?

    • Sarah

      Where the heck did he go?

      • angel

        troy McClure was voiced by the late phil hartman.

    • Mise, Ireland

      God I wish that were possible. Without doubt my favourite Simpsons character :(

  • David

    Q: How do you sleep at night?

    A: On a pile of money with many beautiful women.

  • Jim

    Best Wolfcastle moment is when they were shooting the Radioactive Man movie and they botched the chemical spill stunt:

    “The Goggles! They do Nothing!”

    • Big Walt

      +1

    • kay

      I was going to say that one! (my eyes)!! But I didn’t think McBain was Radioactive Man…

    • Casey

      Up at them (atom)!!!

  • Kana

    When I’m frustrated, I say Meeeeeeeendoooooooozaaaaaaaaa! McBain Movie in 3D!

  • Crazydog

    I still feel that I’m one of the few people that get the joke about the addictiveness of “Swank”.

    • Mischa

      I didn’t get it as a kid, but I get it now…

  • Earl

    Nothing beats the menace of THE COMMIE NAZIS!

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