Image Credit: Glenn Harris/PR Photos; Bob Charlotte/PR PhotosA source has told People that Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal’s short-lived romance is over. Yay/Boo/Imma let Kanye finish? Regardless of how you feel about the (dis)union, there’s one thing that’s certain: Swift will write a song about it. (At least, we hope.) Until then, I’ve thrown together a poor man’s version of a Swift break-up song, set to the tune of “You Belong With Me.” Enjoy?
You were on the cover of EW naked
I spent a year making Kanye West livid
We were quite an unlikely Hollywood duo
But we were perfect for People‘s Star Traks
My pretty hair, your sexiness (we all saw Brokeback)
But we were still an unlikely Hollywood duo
And now we’re over, maybe cuz you’re older
You’re a bachelor, and now I’m back on a bleacher
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find that
Having Starbucks with me was really sublime
After dating Reese and me, you’ll find another blonde chick
But this break-up is one that I can stomach
Cuz can’t you see?
That 11 grand guitar still belongs to me
Okay, I admit: I’m no lyricist. But here’s your chance to help Swift write her next break-up song, PopWatchers. Suggest your lyrics in the comments below!
People don’t really think there was a relationship between them, do they?
There’s a blind item at blindgossip – guess who?
You may be wondering what the real story is with this superstar couple. While they certainly make a good-looking pair, it does seem a little unlikely that they would have hooked up on their own. The truth is that she is just the latest in a series of beards for him. The arrangement helps both of their careers, and they are happy to go along with it for the sake of PR. We think that our musically-inclined girl may secretly be a Whitney Houston fan, because while she can’t quite match Whitney’s voice, she can certainly take a dating cue from one of her films. She dates the famous actor in public, but in private, it’s all about The Bodyguard.
It’s become quite clear that if Brandon Routh cannot be superman, then it has to be James Maslow
This blind item could also be Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough…
CC got it right.
Sea crest is not an actor.
Yeah, I saw this one coming.
Itchy beard I guess
Erin FTW!
love it!!
No, he only dated her to become a song.
his movie bombed, and it didn’t help ‘mature’ her image substantially enough. oh, and it was completely creepy.
maybe he realized that a 21 yr old probably wouldn’t be ready for a long term relationship. Since it happened a month ago, at least it had nothing to do with Reese’s engagement
What the numbers got to do with it? Look at Hugh Hefner and his 24 years old fiancee, 60 years apart…LOL. Seriously, though I’m no fan of either, but can’t help wondering if something is wrong with him, woman after woman has ended relationship with him. You know, a real man doesn’t need to prove he is a real man by dating or sleeping around one after another, as if trying to hide something. Look at that Kenny Chesney, said he slept with at least 200 women just to prove that he’s not gay, uh, Kenny still can’t shake those rumors. George Strait, on the other hand, has been happily married to the same woman for over 30 years, and no one ever accuse him of being gay. That’s is a real man in my book.
That’s because his last name is Strait. *eyeroll*
HE’S GAY!!! C’mon people.
When will that professional beard just go away?
you know what’s going to happen she’s going to start dating younger men like her friend selena younger than 16 would be selena’s young co star from wizzards what’s his face the little douche who plays her young brother don’t know his name or a guy her age for a change.
How about a non-rhyming poem:
You were nine years older than me
But I act like a twelve year old
So that made it even creepier
I will write a song about you
And though it will be obvious
I’ll capitalize the letters of your name
Because I’m incredibly immature.
^^^ this for the win
i smell a poet laureate among us!
That’s actually better than any of her songs. Kudos!
Ha! That’s awesome. And so, so true.
Dumba$$ poem with dumb@$$e$ agreeing it’s good. losers.
Come at me, bro.
wtf?!?!? stop bein a b***h and grow up already.
i will be voting for you when you inevitabley receive your Grammy nomination
This had “beard” written all over it.
yeah i notice she acts sometimes like she’s 12 or 14 maybe she needs to get angry i know fans like her because she’s sweet but she needs to chenge that.
The nationwide hot cocoa tour has some to an end.
She just seemed way to young for him. even though they were only 8 years apart, it still seemed weird, considering she is a squeaky clean celebrity nice girl, while I have been watching Jake Gyllenhaal movies for a long time!!
Jake finally came to his senses!! Good for him.
Yeah but he DESERVES the revenge song she has probably already written by now. Where was his mind on the first place? SMH
I can’t wait for this one: Taylor SWIFT new single “JAKE…I SWEAR” in stores, coming soon!
omg i’d download that just for the title!!
i totally lost it when i read that. perfect!
I wish I could say that I was shocked but I am not! A couple cups of coffee does not make a relationship.
Totally agree. Ridiculous hype.
Well I like them both and hope they find happiness.