'Hawaii Five-0' Bingo: Play it at home tonight!

Scientists estimate that something ridiculous happens on Hawaii Five-0 roughly every five milliseconds. Every episode features hot chicks, hot dudes, malevolent gangsters, car chases, and shots of the Hawaiian coastline that will make you weep with envy. Daniel Dae Kim rides around on a massive motorcycle, Alex O’Loughlin executes some sort of incredible athletic feat of strength, Scott Caan snarks off, and Grace Park inevitably goes undercover in some sort of skimpy outfit. Lessons are learned. Family values are upheld in the most risqué manner possible.

And now, you can play along at home! Click forward for a look at the Utterly Unofficial Hawaii Five-0 Bingo Board. Be sure to mark it off whenever O’Loughlin shows some skin, Park goes surfing, awesome cars awesomely crash, or a really tasty-looking fish swims across the screen. (The surfing square is a free space, because someone will always be surfing in Hawaii.) You might already be a winner!(Designed by Jef Castro)

PopWatchers, did we miss anything?

Comments (95 total) Add your comment
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  • reb

    Hilarious! This is exactly why I’m not watching Hawaii 5-0 anymore!

    • TQB

      Hilarious! Exactly why I look forward to this show every week!

      • j

        This.

      • Tarc

        This, indeed! :D

      • Carrie

        Totally this!

      • KatieBell

        Gotta go with TQB on this… these are all reasons to WATCH the show… not stop watching.

      • Michelle

        THIS.

      • kal

        exactly, i love watching this show

      • Julius

        Thisssssss. So much fun.

      • Michelle

        Amen

    • Che

      Terrible Show, one of the worst this season…

    • ncmacasl

      Of course this week’s bonus — Hiro from Heroes and Ken Tanaka from Glee!! (are they getting every semi-Asian looking actor in Hollywood for guest appearances??). Of course this is a big difference compared with Lost (which was also based in Hawaii) as they continually strived to avoid all scenes looking like they were made in Hawaii.

    • dave j

      great show!!! Its got everything..
      Its going to be around for years to come

      • mary q contrary

        I was thinking the same thing.

  • Moon in Pisces

    Maybe a square for “McGarret can’t relate to cutey kid of the week” or maybe “Beware useless secondary character sister only there to humanize McGarret”

    • sandd

      Zing!!

  • steve

    the best is the one about the forest and it looks like Lost… i thought i was the only one who was thinking that! so awesome, ha.

    • Mole

      Last week when they stopped at the stream for water, I was SURE that was the same stream from Lost. Then seeing Daniel Dae Kim passing it, all I could think was, “Jin’s back on the Island!”

      • Yes

        Exactly what I was thinking. I almost teared up. Jin’s alive!!

      • kal

        I miss Sun

      • KarlHall

        LOL @kal.

  • Zoe

    Add; guest star whom you recognize from other shows (James Marsters, Martin Starr, Scott Cohen, Balthazar Getty, William Sadler, Ivana Milicevic, Max Casella, Taryn Manning, DL Hughley, Jean Smart…) I think all these actors just want to come to Hawaii for some work!

    • Elizabeth

      Yep – that would’ve been a good one to add.

      There are a lot of shows that could use this treatment. Brothers & Sisters comes to mind…

    • Petunia

      Yep.

  • rebecca

    And now this is all I will be thinking about while I watch the episode tonight! thank you EW, not!

  • daisyj

    I think it was wise to make this bingo and not a drinking game, considering the danger of alcohol poisoning.

    • mary q contrary

      har

    • Casey

      Lol this had me laughing for a few minutes. Very true, though. I think you’d be dead drunk within 10 minutes.

  • coco

    spot-on

  • Leesa

    Bless you and the comedy gods for making this. Every time I watch the show I ponder how Daniel Dae Kim has managed to be on a show even more implausible than LOST.

    • Doris

      Did you see him on Angel? Or on Crusade, the sequel to Babylon 5?

  • scott

    While they were running in the forest I was waiting to hear the ticka ticka sound and for Smokey to appear.

    • s-k-s

      I know!! How could they seriously write a scene that involves Jin running through the jungle after hostages taken by mysterious malevolant strangers? They should add a square for accidental Lost moments!

  • licious

    The ‘gimme’ center square should always be “Alex O’Loughlin exhibits a complete lack of charisma,” because the lead actor is the worst part of this show.

    • Kirsten

      I think Danno’s the worst part of the show. He’s so unlikeable. But they have made sure most of the characters here are not likeable. I guess they never watched the original show.

    • NO!

      I can’t agree with you. I think Alex is gorgeous and ‘licious.

      • Mikie

        sorry, I’m lovin Dano and all the characters. I love this show.

    • Rusty

      ahhh…..another person without a sense for Australian sensuality

  • Max

    Yep that why i stop after three eps.

  • Allison

    This bingo game is going to make me watch tonight. Hilarious.

  • TWD

    HaHa! Can you do a bingo card for CSI Miami??

    • Laura

      That’s just too easy! And the card would have to be HUGE to cover all the ridiculata on that show. David Caruso alone can fill a standard card grid.

    • KarlHall

      Some ideas for this:

      “Sunglasses are placed on the face.”
      “The killer is the random dude they questioned at the start of the show but we all forgot.”
      “The scientists are not doing the science right.”
      “People can shoot while running and it somehow hits AND kills the bad guy.”
      “Mexican drug cartel.”

  • sabrina W

    lol this is too funny, i love this show, finally watched last week episode today,everytime i say i’m not that enthusiastic about the show and everytime i watch it i have such a good time laughing, great action, acting is ok, mcgarrett abs check, crazy stunt check he can pilot a helicopter lol, got a military friend on speed-dial who will illegally use military satellite for u check!!! and yes how can u hate a show that looks so beautiful, so rich and lush, makes me wanna visit this place, i feel hawaii will get more of a tourist boost from this show than it did in 6yrs from LOST,and i’m a fan of LOST!!! now danno also has to contribut to the abs display he’s got way too much clothes on, a tie?

    • Mikie

      amen sister!!!

  • Thomas

    What I can’t get over is how many people over think a TV show. A ahow is supposed to stretch the imagination and be entertainment. LOST was flimed in Hawaii so one would expect to see scenery that may have been in the former show. Get over it people

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