Image Credit: David Giesbrecht/BravoThings got positively nasty on last night’s Top Chef, and I’m not just talking about the lying, strategizing, and former foes showing up.
To kick things off, the episode opened with duck testicles – and Angelo in a backwards hat that looked more like a surgery cap. And then it dawned on me that Angelo bears somewhat of a resemblance to Dr. Robert Rey from E!’s Dr. 90210, and we all know that if Angelo was any kind of doctor, he’d be a plastic surgeon.
Back in Quickfire land came the aforementioned testicles along with other “exotic” proteins to make a dish out of. Those animals might not be endangered (yet), but after last week’s crab massacre, shouldn’t an upcoming episode address sustainable food? Must we endure another politically themed, horribly punned episode?
With the meats, they were obviously going for an ick factor, but the cheftestants seemed far more grossed out than I was. Luckily (?), it made room for a favorite TC pastime: genitalia jokes. You may remember that awkward Penn & Teller conversation about Padma’s love for bull testicles or Natalie Portman’s saucy dinner table chatter (both last season), so it was only natural to squeeze in yet another. This time, Ed tells us he used to make “cock and ball soup” when he worked for Todd English. First Angelo’s sexy adjectives then Alex’s pork butt and now this. Are chefs total pervs?
Yet somehow, even with super funky meat and the halfway switch of dishes, this Quickfire was a total snoozefest for me. The saving grace was bringing on guest judge Michelle Bernstein, a Miami chef who looks like the lovechild of Donatella Arpaia and cheftestant Andrea. Oh, and the two also happen to be bitter rivals, but Michelle became a whole lot more famous because she gave up having a family for her stupid career…or that’s how Andrea wanted to explain it.
With her scarily maniacal smile, Bernstein really seemed to love it up there, judging people who probably have more experience than she does. She naturally relished the opportunity to diss Andrea’s wild boar and risotto. If she could’ve, she probably would’ve also told her her hair is so 1990. Or maybe that’s just me.
On the other hand, judge Michelle loved Tamesha’s soup and Amanda’s llama but was bowled over by Kelly’s emu-egg omelet. Kelly then celebrated her first Quickfire win by throwing up a little in her mouth. Cheers!
Things got even uglier when it came time for the elimination. The gang was split into two teams and each team served the judges and the other team. Call it Intrigue on the High Seas if you will because lies were told, strategies were made, and enemy lines were written in stone.
With the title of this episode being “Cold War,” the cheftestants went on the famous U.S.S. Sequoia (that’s the “High Seas” part) to plan their elimination challenge. No, they didn’t cook on the ship and they didn’t frolic on the ship. They just went on a ship, planned their meal, and left. Not even an “I’m on a Boat” riff. Lame.
But on the boat, Angelo was back to mentoring manipulating Tamesha. Poor, impressionable Tamesha. Funny that when Angelo talks about strategy, he refers to his cooking strategy. This is the man who wanted to make testicle marshmallow, so, yeah.
Doubt popped up left (Kenny) and right (Amanda) but of course only Kenny had reason to feel threatened. Did Amanda really think she’d be chosen as a loser in her group because she’s a threat to everyone else? Aw, honey, no.
Speaking of Amanda, I am loving the collective dislike for her. She’s abrasive and makes me jittery. And if you want to get more culinary about it, she served kids alcohol-infused food, can’t make minestrone, and failed to remove cartilage from her chicken galantine. I’m thinking an upcoming drug-, jail- or alcohol-themed challenge is the only reason she has stayed on.
But the whole cartilage moment, or cartilage-gate if you will, speaks to my big issue with this season. The game has become totally underhanded and downright mean. It’s looking more and more like Hell’s Kitchen these days. What happened to just cooking good food? I think they used up all the talent last season and we got the leftovers this time around.
When it came time to judge their peers, it was no big shocker that Angelo, armed with his game face, hated on every dish, especially Kenny’s lamb duo. (Kenny loves those pairings!) But everyone in Group B was pretty harsh on the dishes, enough to make Tom say, “Cut the crap” – not in so many words of course.
They said Kevin’s surf ‘n turf lacked acidity and it had tomatoes. They said it needed lemon and it had lemon. It was almost as though they’d say, “It needs salt! Oh, it has salt? Well, there’s too much salt!”
Later, Angelo said Ed’s pumpernickel was like a sponge, but why should Ed care, since he “banged” Angelo’s girlfriend in college? I guess that makes Ed kind of sleezy too, but I also kind of love him for the comment.
After all was said and done, in this round, Kevin was the winner and Kenny was the loser, which was totally whack and just goes to show you how everyone was playing.
When the tables were turned and B cooked for A, the A team was a whole lot nicer, not immediately trying to eliminate Angelo. Sweet Kevin even liked Angelo’s sockeye salmon. To top it off, Kenny didn’t even vote Angelo’s as the worst. I guess there is a ray of hope for playing nice this season. Tiffany was the winner and Tamesha, the loser.
At judges’ table, it was down to Kevin and Tiffany for the win and it was the textural perfection of Kevin’s tuna and veal that got him the win and a Hawaiian vacation. His reaction alone was cute enough to deserve a prize. He’s also from my hometown area, and we Jerseyians look out for one another. Except for the Jersey Shore cast.
Tamesha and Kenny’s moment in the bottom was interesting because I never thought I’d see Kenny in that position. At the same time, it was also pretty silly. If anyone thought Kenny would be sent home, you are as gullible as Tamesha.
I know his lamb dish was complicated, but the judges seemed to be stretching to find fault with his food. Well, that is, except for Michelle who got on her high horse to ride out her last few minutes as a judge. “I really didn’t enjoy the flavors of the dish,” she told Kenny. “If I could actually sit here and talk about each piece that was on the dish, it would take me through until the end of the show.” Petty is so not a good color on you, Michelle.
Obviously, Tamesha got the boot, which now raises the question, who will Angelo leech onto next? My bets are on Stephen. Poor, clueless Stephen.
Next week seems absolutely bonkers with the pea purée stealing. And Tiffany has a fiancé? Is nothing on TC sacred anymore?!
What did you guys think of the episode? Does anyone else think this season is particularly seedy?
I knew Angelo reminded me of someone! You are right, it’s Dr. Rey!
Amanda could pass as Sarah Silverman’s sister. Kelly looks a lot like an actress who has been on dozens of sitcoms in the past 10 years, but I don’t know her name. Unfortunately, trying to decide who the cheftestants look like has been the most exciting part of this season.
She looks like Ashley Williams… Kimberly Williams-Paisley’s sister
She looks like Laurie Metcalf from Roseanne (the sister)(also Sheldon’s mom from Big Bang Theory)!
I think she does look a little like Laurie Metcalf, but that’s not who I mean. This actress has a higher pitched voice. Darnit, I wish I could think of her name!
I think you’re thinking of Traylor Howard, who used to be on Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place.
Amy Ryan – The Wire, The Office….
Amanda should stay for two reasons:
1. The minestrone thing was blown out of proportion. I can’t stand it when rice or pasta is put in a minestrone because it takes away from the flavor of the vegetables. Eric was wrong about adding pasta to the soup, it was fine the way it was!
2. She is attractive and I dont want to see a bunch of ugos on my TV.
Ed seems expressionless in his interviews. That guy is such a robot!
She looks like “Countess” LuAnn…at least her bio pic does
she looks like the girl from club dredd, and the sweet valley high tv show from way back.
Oh, totally Dr. Rey. And just as icky. And Kelly looks like Amy Ryan. I think that discussion comes up after every recap.
It will be nice to see Angelo go. His character is more suited to Hell’s Kitchen than Top Chef.
disagree– he’s actually talented, unlike the Hell’s Kitchen bunch.
I didn’t say anything about his cooking skills, I said his “character”
Makes sense since that hack WORKS in Hells Kitchen here in NYC. What a bag o’ scum.
I disagree too. Angelo is a much more talented chef than anyone on Hell’s Kitchen. And I really don’t see anything wrong with his character. He’s self-confident and competitive–what’s wrong with that??? He is in a competition for Pete’s sake! What do you expect him to do–be a patsy? As Billy Joel said: Only the good die young. To those of you who object to Angelo’s “character”–it is so obvious that none of you live in a rat race area like New York City. This is probably why Angelo is so competitive and why New York City is one of the best culinary cities of the world. So get over Angelo’s competitiveness. And I really thought he was helping Tamesha without any ulterior motive. And don’t blame Angelo for this wacky elimination competition. Top Chef had a similar competition in Season One–but at least the contestants judged eachother’s dishes in the first episode–not the 6th episode when most of the contestants know eachother. I blame Top Chef for that. And to Archana: No–I don’t think Michelle was being “petty” when she was criticizing Kenny’s dish. I think you need to get off of your “high horse” and see Kenny’s dish for what it actually was based on what the contestants, Michelle and Tom said.
Angelo is that you?
Angelo is a douche and you know it.
@Team – I don’t think this was posted by Angelo. Way too literate and sort-of-clearly-written for that jacka**. No way does he know words or phrases like “high horse” and “ulterior motive”. OMG, I want to see that yahoo back in his sandwich shop…every time I watch him speak I feel the urgent need to jump into a very hot shower.
The judges should have been able to override the contestants’ decision, especially regarding the poor performances. It seems like it was more gamesmanship than actually caring about the food and flavors.
Yeah I thought that was simply ridiculous. What is this American Idol. The judges should have taken more of a stand.
After reading Tom’s blog at the Bravo website, it appears that he didn’t disagree with their choices for top and bottom of each group.
Spike, I read Tom’s blog too and he pretty much stated that the contestants were actually fair. I just wish the show portrayed more of the judge’s point of view so we wouldn’t be questioning the outcome so much. But I guess they needed to milk the drama, which I don’t like at al..
The judges should have picked a best and worst from each group. If they agreed with the chefs so be it, if not there would be a better sense of judging on the food and not personalities. Although by the judges comments it seemed they did agree with some of the choice.
I got the impression that the judges – while possibly finding that the chefs were too tough on their peers – DID agree with their decisions, just based on comments that Padma and Tom made.
agree. despite EW and the viewer’s love of Kenny, he did deserve to be in the bottom.
What many veiwers and even the contestants may not have understood is that if group A put a good dish from group B into the elimination pool, it guarantees that someone from group A gets eliminated if Group B plays fair.
In this case while they could have made a solid case fro sending Amanda instead of Kenny, Tamesha was going to be out anyway.
I agree… I think it would have been more fair if the judges could also have picked someone from each group to be in the bottom. Might have been the same person, might not have been, but at least then it wouldn’t have been totally about strategy and manipulation.
Agree Laura – I thought this would be a “twist” they’d end up with. Was disappointed. Even though Kenny’s dish didn’t seem that great, there was definitely gamesmanship going on. Looking forward to Colicchio’s blog to get some inside scoop on this one!
I agree. This was a very Hell’s kitchen episode, yet boring in a petty way.
Or at the very least, the judges should’ve been able to put up one winner and one loser to go with the two chosen by the teams. What if the other team had colluded to put up Angelo? Would they really have kicked one of them off?
And, am I the only one who wishes we saw more of Eric Ripert? I feel like he’s only been in an episode or two.
Eric is a good judge, but sometimes he’s a bit arrogant. I’m surprised that the blogger, Archana, didn’t know Michelle. She’s been on several cooking shows as both a contestant and as a judge. Sometimes she seems to favor gals over guys, but a guy won and a gal got sent home, so maybe not this time. I also think she’s kinda hot!
I mentioned this somewhere else, but I think Eric and Gail are splitting duties for that judge’s seat.
I’d have to rewatch, but I thought they were careful to say that the contestants could “nominate” winners/losers, but they didn’t seem to say that the contestants would have the last word. I assumed there was wiggle room in case the judges [producers] disagreed, and others could have been brought to judges’ table.
I was hoping they would judge the dishes blind, not knowing who prepared what. That way they could be more objective and fair.
I agree – the tastings should have been blind, although by this time, they are aware of each other’s styles. If anything, this type of tasting should be done at the very beginning.
BLB, I agree – they were open-ended about it, and I had the sense that the judges could over-ride. And I agreed with argem that it would have been less gamesmanship and more about the food if there had been blind judging.
I think the real point of this week’s competition was to profile the contestants’ characters and professionalism under pressure. They all failed the test, Kenny in particular – I kept expecting him to beat his fists on his chest and hollar out, “come and get me, losers.” Compare with last season when the final 6 were truely supportive and respective of each other. Sad. I’d be embarassed to see a child or spouse of mine acting this juvenile on TV.
I hated this challenge last night. This show has always been about good cooking, and not “strategy” (other than what food to cook). I don’t like giving contestants so much power to manipulate the game. I hope it doesn’t continue to go in this direction.
I agree that the other chefs shouldn’t have been allowed to judge. It does seem that the real judges could have over ruled, or even added their own choices, but didn’t. Still, I didn’t like the way “strategy” played into the challenge.
I think that if the other chefs were judging their competitors’ dishes, it should’ve been a blind tasting. Each team could’ve shopped and prepped their food at different times. That way, the judging would’ve been more fair and “strategy” would’ve been thrown out the window. Each chef could’ve brought a dish to the table, described what it was and how it was prepared, but not “their” dish. At least it would’ve been harder for Angelo to target Kenny’s dish.
Yes Benoreno! I said the same thing to my husband. At the very least they shouldn’t have known which chef prepared each dish. Would not have been very hard to set that up with 2 shifts of cooking!
This season of TC has been infested with too much Real Housewives’ faux drama. I don’t watch the Real/Fake Housewives and I certainly won’t watch next season of TC if it continues down this personality and drama-driven, foodless path.
I’m just kind of sick of these crappy recaps. Also, does this recapper really like Kenny so much that she will continue to ignore his cocky, big-man-on-campus attitude, while constantly pointing out Angelo’s? Also, the recapper thinks it’s whack that Kevin was tops in his group, while Kenny was on the bottom, yet the judges seemed to agree. Please, next season, can we get a decent recapper. It seems like Archana only makes observations about what interests her, and forgets that she is writing a recap for others. Seriously. Worst recapper ever.
Top Chef had a similar elimination challenge in Season One–but it happened in the first episode when most of the contestants didn’t know eachother. It seems like this season is borrowing quite a few of the challenges from Season ne, such as last nite’s challenge and the one that happened at the elementary school.
I did too. This season is way different then past seasons because the people are just nasty. The only other contestant I remember being like this is Tiffany from season one. And seriously, if Steven, who may be the most annoying contestant in TC history, stays one more week, I will stop watching until he is gone.
Tamesha was a goner the minute she let Angelo start whispering in her ear. She was obviously talented enough to make it on Top Chef, but forgot that once her “mentor” starting giving her suggestions. Anyone else notice Angelo seasoning someone else’s dish last night? What the hell?? I guess you always have to have a villain but Angelo is morphing from a wannabe leader to a slimeball.
I love Top Chef and have watched every season, but this is the first season where it feels like the cheftestants are trying to be reality show characters rather than actual chefs. Stop performing for the cameras and just cook already! But it seems like all of the shows have hit bottom with the caliber of chefs this year: Top Chef, Hells Kitchen, and Food Network Star. Did we run out of talented chefs?
I agree, this season the chefs seem to lack the grace and poise that previous chefs have had. I mean, even the most arrogant former ‘cheftestants’ (*cough* Stephan!) were respectful of their competitors and commanded respect.
This bunch is really rough.
Except Candace though… He was really awful to her….
Yes Stephen was awful to Candace but he did get points in my book for apologizing to her and acknowledging that once he saw himself on the show, he was embarrassed by his behavior.
The biggest problem this season is no LeAnn. Professionalism has taken a back seat to pettiness. Fabio’s season again had a similiar challenge but it was a blind tasting because Toby Young was judging that group for the first time. Who screens these cheftestants? How is it decided who gets on the show? Who’s dropping the ball behind the scenes this season? And enough with the snarky guest judges. That guy from the White House was a bit of a jerk. Michelle clearly wanted to embarrass Andrea. It works for Bourdain, not so much for others.
I vote we put a moritorium on the phrase “throwing up a little in my/her/his mouth”, just so over used. I agree that this season is somewhat lackluster but am starting to root for Kevin and hope Angelo gets taken down a peg!
Perhaps the phrase itself is over used, but it did literally look like she threw up in her mouth after the win.
She was stifling a laugh due to her excitement from winning. Watch it again, and she is smiling and then catches herself to keep from laughing and the smile remains. Had she “thrown up in her mouth” she wouldn’t be smiling.
At least we have no “I’m on Team Angelo” here.
I agree completely. And while we are retiring “throwing up a little in my/her/his mouth,” can we also get rid of “I almost pee’d myself?” This country is becoming very undignified.
I am so over that phrase too…
Since the producers keep pushing in the vignettes that everyone likes Kenny and hates Angelo, how do you figure putting Kenny in the bottom was whack (yo, yo, yo). Since Alpha dawg has been on the bottom before, maybe it wasn’t a good dish. Worse than Amanda’s, probably not, but I don’t think they would puthim there if he was as fantastic as he says he is.
For me Angelo is at least realistic and I really do think he was trying to help Tamesha. Whether she should have listened is another matter.
I’m with you, Brian. I don’t think Angelo intentionally tried to get Tamesha eliminated. Why would he? I doubt he felt threatened by her. And I don’t think Kenny is as great as a lot of people are making him out to be.
Furthermore–if anyone was a backstabber last nite, I would have to say it was that bald guy. He intentionally didn’t tell Amanda about the cartilage in her dish. But why would he? They’re in a competition. She should’ve tasted it herself and figured it out. They’re not in preschool.
I agree. I think Angelo is a douche…but I think his menthorship of Tamesha was less nefarious than it was made out to be. Maybe he just likes to be looked up to. Now, if we could just get him to stop saying “sexy” for 10 seconds….
I’m glad someboday said something, especially since this isn’t the first time he’s been in the bottom. I mean how do you know Kenny’s was wrongly chosen as the worst, you didn’t taste it. The contestants did. And I think if the judges REALLY disagreed, they would have said something. I find Kenny just as arrogant as Angelo (and frankly less fun about it). I am sad to see Tamesha go though, I like her.
Yeah, what Scotty said. I’m tired of this recapper’s blatant Kenny ass-kissing.
hip hip!
Wow, this group is so eager to stab each other in the back. Forget shoving them under the bus. It’s getting harder to watch. It’s ridiculous and takes away the credibility of a show that I’ve held in such high regard. How about bringing back the first 3 chefs eliminated from the first 6 seasons? How about Top Chef – the Real Housewives version? Couldn’t be any worse than this train wreck.
I don’t like this season of Top Chef. Last season was probably the best because there were chefs that cooked really good food and not trying to undermine other chefs. I think Angelo needs to be voted off the show. He bring division among the other chefs. Why use strategy when you suppose to be a good chef. He feels threatened by Kenny and that tell me that he is not a very good chef. Stop strategizing and just cooked good food.
I totally agree! Any of the top 5 chefs from last season would easily win this year.
Are you kidding that the chefs put Kenny there only to be petty? The judges didn’t like his food either. Kenny is one of the most boring and arrogant people on this show and if he wins, it will likely be worse than Hosea winning it all.
Hosea winning? Ugh. Still pisses me off that he won.
I think all the chefs are boring.
I’m not getting the arrogant vibe from Kenny.
I wouldn’t say Kenny winning would be worse than Hosea winning. Kenny seems to have a great talent, arrogance or not. Hosea just seemed to skate by all year and then lucked out in the finale.
I don’t see Kenny as arrogant- I see him as just very confident. He’s not rude and dismissive towards the others like the arrogant chefs (Angelo!) seem to be. I’m pulling for him just because I’d quite like to see him sit on Angelo and squish him like a bug.
If proclaiming himself the “alpha dog” isn’t arrogant I don’t know what is. It is so dismissive like the only people that matter are him and Angelo. I hope they both go.
He’s pretty arrogant. He kept talking about how EVERYONE WAS OUT TO GET HIM BECAUSE HE’S SUCH A THREATOMGOMGOMG!!!!! Chill, dude, just cook your food.
I don’t see Kenny as arrogant, just defensive. I think he’d be a lot looser if Angelo wasn’t there.
This season has gotten to be so predictable with who they’re kicking off. As soon as Tamesha got more than 5 seconds of screen time I was like “Aww she’s going home…” and (voila!) I was right. If anyone other than Kenny, Angelo, Andrea, or Kevin start suddenly getting their “face time” in front of the camera, it does not bode well. Although I do feel badly for Tamesha because her naivete was her downfall: This is a COMPETITION! I don’t care if your BFF is your competitor, YOU are here for YOU! If you didn’t need “mentoring” before to get on the show, why the hell would you need it now?!?
Tamesha had plenty of screen time last episode, too. Your observations are incorrect.
I prefer this show when the competition is based on cooking skills and not “strategy”. I’m not feeling this season at all.
I think all this strategy is happening this season due to the team competitions. Whenever there’s team competitions, they breed fights (as in Season 4) or strategy (as in this season). I don’t think Top Chef had as many team competitons last season as they do this season (or Season 4). That’s probably why last season was better than this season or Season 4.
Totally NOT seeing a Dr. Rey/Angelo resemblance, BUT Andrea does look like Woody Harrelson in a wig.
LOL
This season is so BORING.
It’s one big snooze fest.
Hell’s Kitchen contestants are annoying.
I always thought of them as rejects from Top Chef.
I don’t care about Angelo’s personality.
The guy can cook if he has won a few challenges.
The person that irks me is Kelly.
I can’t put my finger on it?!?