Amazingly enough, he is not playing a first-day waiter in a restaurant that makes waiters wear light purple ties. He’s playing an entertainment reporter named Allen Cook!
Oh my God. This is happening in less than 10 minutes and I’ve never watched a soap opera all the way through. In lieu of a Lunchtime Poll today, I’m gonna live blog this insanity. Everyone turn on CBS and let’s get through it together!
12:30 “Is this where you say ‘Just kidding?’” My thoughts exactly.
12:33 Michael Ausiello: “He better be on within the next five minutes or else I’m leaving.”
12:34 We miss Santa Barbara.
12:34 We’re liking the dress on Eden. You think it’s like Ann Taylor but then there’s all this jazzy hardware!
12:35 “I don’t remember Eden Riegel being that stacked while she was a lesbian!”
12:37 Mandi: “That is an ugly bear.” (Referring to a toy)
12:39 WHERE IS HE?
12:40 Victor gets the biggest group laugh so far: “Our daughter Victoria has lost her mind.”
12:41 Adam/Michael Muhney’s hair is so self-consciously messy! Too bad Slezak’s can’t do that. IF HE EVER SHOWS UP.
12:43 Does a judge need that many pencils?!
12:44 Claire Danes is doing a Latisse commercial?!?!?!?!?
12:45 What if they just totally cut Slezak’s scenes? I’d be hosting an office party for nothing.
12:46 Hello, f— me shoes!
12:47 CRUEL CUT! Slezak is totally supposed to be in this bar scene.
12:48 Soft focus flashback with sax!
12:49 Why isn’t Slezak in this sex/sax scene?
12:49 What’s wrong with that guy’s face?!!
12:50 Despite the 12:49 update: Still no Slezak.
12:51 News Director Mike Bruno has contributed Pretzel M&Ms to the party.
12:52 “I learned it the hard way. All washes do not take care of feminine odor.”
12:53 Lunchtime Poll: Is this my best blog item in weeks?
12:55 I like the Michael Bluth look Adam’s got going on.
12:56 They better have these repetitive arcade sound effects IF SLEZAK EVER FINALLY SHOWS UP.
12:57 Denise Richards needs some better highlights.
12:58 The photo we have of Slezak is from this scene but this scene could go on for another three days…
12:59 THERE HE IS!!!!
12:59 Celebrity Weekly? Please.
12:59 Slezak said ‘sex tape’!
12:59 SHARED LINGERING LOOK.
1:01 Hillshire Farms commercial: Kids chanting “Gooooo meat!”
1:03 Please tell us this arcade date montage isn’t really happening.
1:06 Slezak is sorry — he assumed this was common knowledge!
1:12 Is that ring (not a hidden gem) made of tinsel?!
1:15 Okay, which deer-in-the-headlights photo of Slezak was the best?
A. Diagonal upwards gaze at something that does not exist
B. Slackjaw chic
C. Lookin’ alive!
1:19 The strawberry blondehead and Nicholas better have sex within the next 11 minutes or this episode has been a bust.
1:21 Phyllis is her name.
1:22 Mandi is chanting “Sex! Sex! Sex!”
1:22 Phyllis is SO TIRED and we know how she feels.
1:22 “I WILL NOT SIT BACK AND WATCH IT ANYMORE!”
1:27 Slezak’s back! He can quote that if he wants. “Oh, I plan to.”
1:27 Bonus reaction shot!
Well, that was fun! Should Slezak be a recurring character? From which disease and/or type of attack should he meet a violent end?
I saw this on Friday (we get it a day early in Canada). I was stunned when I saw him! Slezak was awesome!!!
I watched it Friday too, and it was bugging me. I couldn’t figure out how I recognized him. Of course!!
yayyyyyyyyyyy extra long lunch break!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love you for doing this, despite the fact that even a professional procrastinator like me can’t find a way to be in front of a TV right now. Should be fun!
So is Bryton like Madonna or Prince or something? What’s with only one name?
My dog Gobias is totally into this. My other dog Lenny Bruce has fallen asleep.
Yeah I don’t know why he goes by one name now. He started doing it about a year and a half ago. It really annoys me for some odd reason
I’m assuming ya’all come through with footage for us to peruse later for Daytime Emmy consideration.
“Cook” – was that a co-in-ki-dink?
Is that guy David Cook? Looks like him
nvm close up
Victor’s daughter is named Victoria? What, are we in Roman times now?
Actually, Victor and Nikki have two kids: Victoria and Nicholas.
Both named after themselves lol
For the record, Victoria’s name has nothing to do w/Victor. Kevin Bancroft was believed to be the baby’s father, and his mother was named Victoria.
Does he insult talented pretty girls and praise mediocre pretty boys as an actor too?
Are you kidding? He fanboys hardest for the girls from American Idol – Fantasia, Crystal and Allison especially.
Seriously, what Idolatry have YOU been watching?
Is this going to be like in “The Incredible Hulk” when they kept showing the scene with Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark in all those TV spots, but then you watch the movie and he doesn’t appear until, literally, the very last scene?
Ah I’m so happy I opened ew.com just now! I had no idea and he still hasn’t appeared right? Great timing.
Did they cut him completely? If I watched this terrible show for no reason I’m going to be really mad.
ALLEN COOK IS SLEZAK
SLLLLLLEEEEEEEZZZZZZAAAAAAAAKKKKKKK
THERE YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t believe how geeked out I just got when you came onscreen!
That was awesome.
Was the actress playing Nicki Julie on the original V?