'The Twilight Saga: Eclipse': A hater's guide

WARNING: The opinions printed below do not necessarily reflect those of the EW staff — or anyone else on Planet Earth. Read the full post.

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  • Sonia

    twilight is the worst movies or vampire series ever.
    Where are the glorious Blade trilogy, “Queen of the damned” ” Interview with a vampaire”,the great “Underworld” trilogy also.
    This twilight movies are for tee-agers and even for teen-agers who have bad taste.
    The werewolf guy SHOULD have nose surgery ( he has the ugliest nose I’ve seen in a not so bad looking face, making him UGLY) Tobert Pttison is not even good looking and Bella sucks and she really is not got looking at all either, compared toKate Beckinsale she looks like crap, and none of them can act for squats.
    Rather watch True Blood or satch “The vampire Diaries” than this piece of crap.

    • Mindy

      Best recent vampire movie is a Swedish film called “Let the Right One In”. It is fantastic!

      • dee

        That was a fabulous movie. It makes me kind of sad that they’re doing an American remake. The first one was so good.

  • lita

    I just went to see the new movie and omg is sucks ass so a waste of money the worse one yet

  • dee

    Finally an EW Twilight review I can get on board with. lol

  • Truethat

    Why oh why? And you think Twilight fans are stupid? And you think Twilight fans don’t have a life while ya’ll are google searching for Twilight related articles so you can diss on the movies? Don’t bother with a follow-up comment. Ya’ll are as pathetic as the Twilight fans. Snap out of it already. Your making a bigger deal then the Twilight fans for christ sake. Ehh, I got to go before I waste my time. Besides Family Guy is on.

    Kiss my ass haters! All though I am one too. Oh! Double standard. So sue me.

    Twilight fan in the house.

    • Jennifer

      You know what, we didn’t have to Google this article; it was presented on a general entertainment website. We can’t actually get away from this crap no matter how hard we try, unless we move to Antarctica, and probably that wouldn’t help.

  • JESS

    That was a great review. I applaud you with all my heart!

  • Mindy

    Ah, Clark, I have awaiting the EW.com Twilight haters post for the last couple days. Was afraid after the last two glorious ones that we would mysteriously not get one this time. So glad to see it! Perhaps not quite as hilarious as the last two, but still refreshing to see.
    Please, though, that disclaimer was pathetic.

    • Mindy

      Eek, grammar fail for me. Should say, “I have *been* awaiting the EW.com Twilight haters post…”

  • Nubia666TwilightLover

    Stop hating you kumquats!!! Edward Cullen is my boyfriend! – Dont be Jealous. Dont make me tell him to bite you. Your all worthless human kumquats!! Ohhhhhhhh Guess whatt!!!!! I FARTED!!!!!!!! :D Hahahaha

  • timelord

    what a lame disclaimer! even when you were writing an article professing hate for the twilight franchise , you didn’t want to alienate those stupid twilight fans eh? pathetic

  • Vivian

    I am indifferent toward Twilight, and I thought this was hilarious!

  • Laura

    Down with Twilight!

  • Kelly

    I am a Twilight fan and I still found this funny as hell. Thanks for the morning lift!

  • GetReal

    It’s obvious you’ve never read the books. Bella accepted the ring. ‘Breaking Dawn” has the answers to your questions in regards to the relationships. The book talks about Jacobs stench. You are clueless as to the story. Can’t put in movies that which is not yet in the book. Read. Quit writing.

    • Crumb bum

      I’m pretty sure if he found the movies terribly done, the books would give him a stroke. Requiring anyone to read those things is pure sadism.

      • Jennifer

        Exactly. Plus, this is an article relating to the movie version of Eclipse only – not Eclipse & Breaking Dawn.

  • K

    When I came from college on holiday breaks I had to share a room with my younger sister. If I had trouble falling asleep I’d ask her to start talking about “Twilight.” It bored me to sleep.

    So, you know, the series is good for something.

    • Lisa Simpson

      So Twilight has it’s use as a cure for insomnia and as a form of torture. I can accept that.

  • Stever_B

    The Twilight fans have obviously decided to take the “high road” and not comment in this thread. I can just see them reading, with their arms folded, pursed lips and tapping their foot waiting for this to be over while they gaze lovingly at their framed picture of Edward or Jacob. Speaking of which; Edward and Jacob owning a B&B in Vermont with Bella as fertilizer in the garden? That’s got fan fiction written all over it!!

    • dee

      LOL I’m sure you’re right. Well, after all that talk about “If you don’t like it, don’t comment! We don’t comment negatively on articles for things we don’t like! We just don’t read them!” it would be really hypocritical to show up and complain in this one, wouldn’t it? ;)

    • Ambient Lite

      Oh, I’m actually enjoying it. The funny part is that people are actually less hateful about the fans on the hater guide post than the other articles. Interesting…and refreshing.
      I actually think some of the more creative ‘haters’ lend an interesting perspective – would be nice if fans of the series could be open minded enough to enjoy it.

  • Bibi

    I’ll wait to get this on Netflix. The first two were complete snoozefests and I like the books, so I was very disappointed. I also am reconsidering my subscription to Entertainment Weekly due to the “special double issues” and lack of seeing past “this week’s dominant theme” which lately have been franchises I don’t care about. I hate taking magazines I can’t even read.

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