'Real Housewives' star Danielle Staub recording pop song. File this under: Trends that should die now.

danielle-staubImage Credit: Mark Von Holden/Getty ImagesDear God,

What did we do wrong? Have we offended you in some way? Is there a reason you are allowing our ears to suffer such pain? I can’t help thinking there is, after the way we’ve been forced to listen to the auto-tuned prowess of both Real Housewives of Atlanta‘s Kim Zolciak and Real Housewives of New York‘s LuAnn de Lesseps in “Don’t Be Tardy for the Party” and “Money Can’t Buy You Class,” respectively. And now, to make matters worse, Real Housewives of New Jersey‘s Danielle Staub is apparently recording a duet called “Real Close,” with singer Lori Michaels.

Okay, truth is, I haven’t heard Staub sing, so I shouldn’t judge — after all, she says that she used to sing in an R&B band. (And if we’ve learned anything about these women, it’s that they’re not delusional. Sarcasm!) Plus, she has plenty of life experience to channel into her passion. Maybe we have the next Madonna on our hands here and we don’t even know it!

Okay — too optimistic. But however Danielle’s single turns out, please God, make this trend stop with her. Let peace be with us.

All my best,

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Comments (52 total) Add your comment
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  • BrandonK

    What happened to her face?

    • CC

      Doesn’t it look like Vincent D’Onofrio from “Men in Black,” after he’s been roachified by the aliens, and his wife says “what’s wrong with your face, Edgar, your skin’s hangin’ off your bones?”, so he yanks the skin waaaaay back and goes, “is this better?” Might just be me, but she looks just like that.

      • mary q contrary

        Totally! And by the way, I freaking love that scene.



    • Louise

      What? It’s always been a mess. But yep it does look worse, if that is possible.

  • Ebs

    Did we forget Gretchen’s tribute to Jeffie????

    • K_Sull

      Yeah, but that song features actual singing and isn’t half bad.

      • mary q contrary


  • Sarah

    This is God punishing us for Val Kilmer’s statements about New Mexico.

    • Okai

      I think it’s God’s punishment for Val Kilmer.
      This singing housewife craze must stop or it could last as long as Val Kilmer. That would be too great a punishment.

      • mary q contrary

        Haha, Sarah, I think we’ve found a new inside joke around here.

  • Ember

    The worst part about “Money can’t buy you class”, is that the dang tune gets stuck in my head!

    • OMG

      Me too. It’s terrible. The auto-tuned horribleness of it is twanging away in my head. It’s painfully catchy. ‘Ellllegance is leaaarreend, my friend.’ Oh, God, stop it now.

    • mary q contrary

      No, not catchy. At all. Terrible. Especially if you accidentally watched the video one time. *shudder*

      • B Ro

        The true “shudder” comes from that creepy producer who keeps telling Countless she can sing–he and Spencer Pratt should start a band called Douches.

  • Brett

    Bravo seriously needs to shift from “Real Housewives” stars recording songs to “Real Housewives” stars recording sex tapes. Just sayin’.

    • mary q contrary

      Never. EVER.

    • Morgaine

      Danielle reportedly already has some sex tapes floating around. Even if she can sing, this is a bad idea. I agree, this trend has to stop.

  • Brian

    You don’t have to hear her singing voice to know this will be a preposterous, nonsensical, stemaing pile of self-delusion. Man I have fun hating on these terrible broads when I watch this show, but sometimes Danielle is so out of touch with what an airheaded, stupid, glomming moron she is that it’s almost not fun to watch. My favorite line was from this week when Danielle says “I have a firm grasp on reality.” Take note, high school English students: THIS is what irony looks like.

  • Barbara

    OMG! Not again, 1st Kim, then the Countess, now the wicked witch of the West. These woman are so full of self importance, do they really think that we want to hear them sing? They can’t even run their lives normally. And what singer or producer would want to put his or her name to this garbage. It is really sad that these women has gone so low as to think that they can perform. And what hasn’t Danielle done? Model, singer, prostitute, married to the mob, writing a book, really who cares. I love the housewives shows but come on, there is a limit to how much the audience can take. New Jersey, if I wanted to watch shows about the mob, I would watch reruns of the Sopranos and great job you are doing by the way, makes all NJ people look like idiots. NY,your new best bud just got arrested for DUI. Way to go! I know they need to pump up the shows but can’t these housewives do something constructive. And don’t get me started on Jill Zarin, the evil pill. She uses people until she sucks them dry and then moves on to her next cult victim. Her move on the ice rink was classic and just what she deserved. I hope Bethanny never forgives her. This was supposed to be her best friend and she treated her like crap and then badmouthed her to everyone. And somebody please get Kelly off the show. She is over the edge, bipolar or worse and paranoid. She isn’t that important either. When was the last time she actually modeled?Or did anything important? So self-absorbed these women. Out of all the shows Dina and Jacqueline seem to have some modesty and compassion. GEt these women off the air and replace them with someone worth listening to.

    • mary q contrary

      I hate to point out the obvious, but you clearly watch all of these shows. What makes you think it’s any different to listen to their music? You support their “careers” each time you tune in to their nutjob, famewhoring shenanigans.

    • jersey

      couldn’t agree more!!

  • fancypants

    “Maybe we have the next Madonna on our hands here and we don’t even know it!”

    Probably not the best example since Madonna is a way below-average “singer” and is heavily reliant on auto-tune.

  • MARGe Happens

    Wow ! They can have a Real Housewives tour just like American Idol ! I cant wait – I hope Danielle records a duet with Danny – that would sell more records than Sat. night fever ! The Countess and her songs are AWESOME – Tardy for the PARTY- CaNDYS songs are great. A tour has got to happen !

  • Sharlin

    Dannielle is ubber paranoid this season. I feel bad for her kids. The other ladies are so normal.

    • Amy

      I think cocaine does that to a person.

      • Maureen

        It IS one hell of a drug. ;)

      • blanche

        Alegedly, Meth does that to a person, too. Right, Kelly Bensimon?

    • NoPink

      I don’t think any of the housewives are normal. No one who is obsessed with bashing people are normal. And, Teresa is too much with spoiling her kids to the point that they are going to be in trouble as adults. None of them are normal.

  • KC

    Take a good look at that picture and think how she said she’s “too pretty to work”

  • MARGe Happens

    if DANIELLE thinks she is too pretty to work – she should hook up with Danny because he would prob. let her stay home and not make her go out to work.The other ladies are not normal !There is nothing normal about Teressa’s lack of parenting skill and her 24-7 bragging about having sex with that loser hubby of hers .I can’t wait untill the IRS shows up with the moving van and pad locks that place.

    • Glowbug

      LOL again with the IRS & moving van do you know something about their finances? Teresa equates spending gobs of money on her girls as showing love (not that she does not love them for real) but children don’t need tons of junk to be happy —how about involving them in some creative activities (no manicures) or sports or read them a book! Gia is cute but swinging your hips and looking model fierce is not a talent–Teresa should be forced to live in a house where people already lived—she is very entitled—its not pretty

  • howboutagangbang?

    Damn you Val Kilmer!!! God is punishing us again!!! Oh the humanity!!!! Make it stop please!!!

  • Madd

    File this as a trend that never should’ve started.

  • MARGe Happens

    I love the Countess LU LU’S song – I hope they put out a greatest hits of the Housewives CD -Tardy for the Party is also a great dance mix. I wonder when NE NE will have her songs out ? Maybe they can make a box set of all the housewives – Jo sounded pretty good to and should be on the G.H.O.H.W. cd.

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