Every now and then I wonder if the writers of Modern Family were invisible guests at my family dinner table. Take last night’s “Family Portrait”: Claire’s obsession with the flawed step, the stress of taking a family picture, and even Mitchell’s reaction to a pigeon trapped indoors (see: my sister, a Lord & Taylor dressing room, last winter) were all scarily reminiscent of my own family.
After two great Hawaii-centric episodes, Modern Family went back to basics for its season finale. The simple plots — a family picture, a basketball game, a school project — could have felt boring as there were no big-name guest stars or scenic backdrops, but each of the characters’ personal quirks made them endlessly entertaining (Phil’s paranoia, Claire’s obsessiveness, Mitchell’s fear of animals, and Cameron’s newly acquired Divadom). They’re what make family family, and what makes this show so brilliant. Here are the 10 best lines:
Phil: Ordinarily I’m a rule follower, but when someone tells me I can’t bring my own snacks into their stadium? That’s when I get a little… nuts. It’s a free country right? Let’s just say it Ruffles me when some Goobers tell me I have to spend my half my PayDay on their hot dogs.
Gloria: The question is, why isn’t all your underwear good, Jay? You make a nice living!
Manny: Hey Mom, I think my diet’s working! My underwear won’t stay up!
Phil: I brought my own snacks, not because I’m cheap — it’s a matter of principle. Plus I get a little rush from the danger. Be cool, be cool, be cool! Just look straight ahead… I’ve never felt more alive. WoOo!
Claire: Quick, quick tell me something to say that will freak him out.
Haley: Tell him I’m pregnant!
Cameron: Calm down, you know I grew up around many animals. One time a rooster attacked me and my mom rung its neck and we had it for dinner.
Mitchell: [singing] We love to play in Lily’s room, we don’t need any milk!
Luke: My dad says the greatest singer who ever lived is Peabo Bryson.
Gloria: Ay, of course because I’m Latina I’m supposed to know everything about gardeners and sprinklers!
Once again, Luke was a gleaming gem this episode. From falling asleep to his grandfather’s stories about the ’60s, to being plastic-wrapped and walking Hurt Locker-style (pure genius!) across the lawn, I’ve grown to appreciate and crave his hilarious and slightly delayed responses to things.
How did Kobe Bryant do in his cameo? Would a foam finger from Phil be enough to make you forgive him? (It would be for me. Get in here, Ty Burrell!).
Sadly, this brings us to the end, PopWatchers. What were the funniest lines of the season? (Check out some of EW’s favorites in our Modern Family quotes gallery). Do you have any ideas for season two? I’m crossing my fingers that we get more of the Haley/Dylan relationship, accompanied by some more of Dylan’s awesome love songs (but can anything top “In the Moonlight [Do Me]”?). For those of you panicking at the thought of a Modern Family-less summer, it looks like ABC will be replaying episodes on Wednesday nights. Yipee! Who needs sun anyway?