'Machete' trailer: Danny Trejo celebrates Cinco de Mayo by declaring war. On Arizona!

You know those directors who pride themselves on subtle political commentary? Well, Robert Rodriguez ain’t among them. But don’t take my word for it. Check out the new trailer for his forthcoming Mexploitation movie Machete, which starts with a ticked off-looking Danny Trejo declaring, “This is Machete, with a special Cinco de Mayo message… to Arizona!” Yep, Trejo and Rodriguez are taking a poke at that state’s recently passed legislation which makes failure to carry immigration documents a crime.

But, hey, it’s not all political satire in Machete trailer-land. There’s also plenty of mayhem, cuss words, and, above all stars, including Robert De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, Cheech Marin, Jeff Fahey from Lost, Don Johnson, Lindsay Lohan, and Steven Seagal. That’s right: It’s Lohan and Seagal! Together at last!

Watch the trailer after the break, and tell us what you think.

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  • Al

    It doesn’t make “failure to carry immigration documents a crime”. It makes being an illegal immigrant under Federal law a State crime.

    • Tao

      As the law is written, it makes any American Citizen who doesn’t carry his/her ID a criminal. So this issue is not about Illegal immigration, it’s about Arizona becoming a totalitarian state.

      • Darren

        Yeah, I’d be worried about the totalitarian state of Arizona instead of the United States that has a president and congress forcing people into health contracts and trying to do whatever they can to take over the free market.

  • jake

    Those bad terrible Arizonans. Like the families of all the people murdered by illegal criminals. Or the hard-working people who pay taxes to fund the welfare that Mexicans abuse who arent even here legally. Yeah, I guess we should declare war on them. Who do they think they are? Mexicans dont have to follw any stinkin laws.

    • stan

      Jake,

      Was it painful to watch yourself protrayed by Don Johnson in this movie, you big fat racist pig?

      • Josh M

        “Illegal” is a race?

      • hutchy

        I think that illegal immigration is a problem. Non-citizens getting welfare dollars in a problem. I also think that my personal experience with most of the people in question is that they are quiet, respectful, and want to work. As opposed to various legal citizens who were born and raised here in the USA yet cant seem to get their rear ends off the front porch and actually do anything remotely resembling work, preferring instead to simply milk the public teat as much as possible. I cant speak for AZ, CA, NV, but here in Maryland, there is plenty of crime, and I can tell you who by and large ISNT committing it: illegal immigrants of any race. Watch an episode of the Wire sometime if you want to see exactly how Baltimore really is.

      • m

        hutchy – i almost completely agree with you. as a fellow marylander, i am not going to disagree that there is PLENTY of crime committed by legal citizens, but, i want to point out that MS-13 is prevalent in a lot of the state, and i would be willing to bet that most of those members arent here by legal means.

      • Marcos

        This is not about race or racism is about national sovereignty
        and enforce laws already in place. If you want racism in action go to mexico and see how the “indigenous” population are second class citizen on the eyes of the more white Mexican. It’s a terrible Hypocrisy.

      • KLD

        Here’s the biggest problem, IMHO. It’s employers that hire illegal immigrants. Do you honestly think we’d have as many people crossing the border if they couldn’t find jobs here? Don’t get mad at the illegals — the majority of them are just trying to make money to support their families or want to come here for a better life (just as ALL our families did. Remember, we were the original illegal immigrants.

      • Dayna

        Marcos- That is what I find ironic about this whole racism thing. I lived in Mexico for six months and everything is about you skin color. People openly insult people who look indigenous and even if you have pale skin, if your features look indigenous, then you are made fun of.

      • AZ_Teacher

        First of all, the law is for any illegal immigrant, not just hispanic people. And when all of our ancestors first came here long ago, it WAS legal. I live in Arizona and our state is so freakin broke it’s scary. We are about to end up like California. I am also sick of people saying that Americans are too lazy and don’t want these jobs. Well, the pay is set lower than the minimum wage. If we didn’t have illegal immigrants to fill the jobs, somebody would take them. The employers would just have to pay more. They would actually have to abide by the law.. and PAY TAXES!

        Don’t get me wrong, I certainly do not blame people for wanting to come to America. However, I do think that if people come here illegally.. no matter the reason.. they are law breaking criminals. All this law is doing is allowing enforcement of laws that are already in place. Everyone in Arizona with half a brain knows the main reason for passing this bill is to get the Federal Government’s attention so they quit sitting on their thumbs while our state goes under financially trying to support people that are here illegally.

        As a citizen of the U.S. you are already supposed to carry a drivers license or state issued ID with you anyway. If it cuts down on crime, the cost of medical insurance, medical care, etc.. I am behind it. Also, why should people get away with not paying taxes? I certainly don’t want to pay them, but I have no choice. If all of the people that are here illegally suddenly started paying taxes, our state would be in great shape.

        So many teachers and instructional assistants are losing their jobs this year. The rest of us who are fortunate enough to keep our jobs are having to take a pay cut, pay higher insurance premiums, pay increased out pocket expenses, and will get no supplies or support to speak of. Arizona already spends the lowest amount of money per student on education than any other state. And now millions of dollars are being cut.

        All teachers were also required to take a 3 credit college course, costing $360.00 called Structured English Immersion (SEI). That is 45 actual seat hours spent on this. Then to top it off, we have to pay $60 to the AZ Dept of Ed. to have it put on our certificates. Teachers that didn’t take the class within 3 years of the law being passed, are no longer allowed to teach. This class is geared toward learning different methods of teaching all students in such a way that benefits non English speaking students, and it doesn’t matter whether they are a citizen or not. Most were born in the US to illegal immigrants. Do you know how much manpower and money goes to educating these children? Does anyone even know the numerous legal requirements that go into being responsible for teaching an “ELL” (English Language Learner) student? It’s many, many hours of prep work and documentation. It’s not the children’s fault, and I don’t begrudge them. It’s our Federal Government’s fault, but they aren’t willing to pay what it takes to educate these kids…or to fix their lack of border security.

        I love people of all races equally. However, I don’t love dishonest people who are essentially tax evading criminals who put a strain on our already failing economy. Furthermore, it really saddens me that our Hispanic community is taking this personally. If you are a legal citizen, you have nothing to fear, right? Think about what China does to people who illegally enter its borders!! We are pretty darn mild compared to that!

    • stan

      You know what, I DECLARE WAR ON JAKE. I’ll find your URL, racist pig.

      • jake

        Tell it to the Arizona rancher shot to death a couple weeks ago by ILLEGALS. Tell it to the family killed in a car crash by speeding dfrunk illegal (oh wait, you cant theyre dead).
        Arizona residents should stop paying taxes until the welfare gravy train is cut off for illegals.

      • Juuust a little outside

        You’re lucky that caucasians are not responsible for any accidents and are never murderous or violent, if not you would come off as an ignorant racist bigot who loves to think about the genius of Sara Palin and getting your face tea-bagged.

      • The Truth

        Yeah and what about the original illegal immigrants? The ones that came on the mayflower… the ones that stole this land and rape and murdered the natives? What do you have to say to those people that got screwed by whitey? Pay back is a bitch huh?

      • jake

        Whites do commit homicide. they commit 5% of all homicides in the US, even though 69-71% of the population.

      • Juuust a little outside

        I think you should commit to using at least 5% of your brain, you could almost double your IQ.

      • thin

        Dear jake, please do not confuse “convicted of” with “commit.”

      • ninapintasantamaria

        oh stan, name calling isn’t nice

    • Dustin

      What about the hard working people looking for a better life but are forced to cross their fingers for 2-5 years and spend their hard working dollars on forms, representation, etc while the government passes their green card request through, and may grant said green card. Did you know Jake, that to even be eligible to live/work in this country legally you need a petition filed by a US Citizen who is either an employer or relative. Now, when you start doing the minimum wage jobs that the quiet, humble “illegal” imigrants we will no longer need them and we can do whatever we want. Or, we can just enforce stupid ass laws and broke system and complain. OR, we can do something about it and demand our government completely rebuilds our immigration laws with the proper respect for the fact that only 168 years ago the United States killed over 25,000 mexicans and stole their land.

      • Dustin

        Oh and @EW, Aintitcool.com had this posted hours ago. You lose, again.

      • bedc01

        But latinoreviews posted it first, so ain’t it cool, ew and you lose

      • Dustin

        @bedc01. Both are great sites, but unfortunatly Google tells another tale. While Aintitcool posted it 6 hours ago, latinoreviews.com posted it 3. YOU LOSE. AND SO DOES EW.COM

      • jake

        We cant go back in time to hundreds of yrs ago and correct the wrongs. Look Im not even saying this AZ law will be effective. My first choice would be to punish those who EMPLOY illegals with jail time. When the jobs dry up, the illegals will dry up

      • NativePatriot

        Bravo Dustin Bravo! Im glad to see people using facts everyone once in a while.

      • Terry

        I get so sick of hearing that we stole the land from the native Americans and the Mexicans. Back then there were land wars and you could go world wide and point fingers. But if white Europeans hadn’t came to this country when they did, it wouldn’t be like this beautiful country where the Indians celebrated the buffalo. First the natives fought among themselves. Second, Mexico would’ve fought it’s way into taking as much land as they could creating a hellhole much bigger than it already has. Also, I could see Japan taking Hawaii and moving to the west coast. Canada may have taken over our northern areas, and probably Russia would’ve had it’s hands in part of it. My point is that it does no good to look to the past and act like we owe these people. We have created an economy and society that others want to be a part of. The problem is, they don’t want to have to wait and do it the right way. I don’t necessarily blame them, but they have to realize that it is breaking the law. That’s what kills me, what other country would let people come into their country and let the illegals start protesting and making demands? And while the illegals do pay some sales taxes they are getting more services than they pay for. I always felt that if you want to stop the rush across the border, you have to make being illegal less attractive. First, any child born to two illegals would themselves be illegal. Second, children of illegals would not be allowed to go to school here. They are not citizens so they should not be given the same services. This would take care of the stories you see where someones been in the country for years and their child is in high school and the parents get caught and we’re supposed to feel bad because either the child goes with the parents or has to be separated from their family. Which plays onto our sympathies and we feel like, oh, let them stay. I’m sorry, I can’t let myself feel that way. If you’re illegal, just because you’ve managed to hide out for years doesn’t lessen the crime. So if you did these changes, at least people would be more likely to try to immigrate legally and show that they truly want to be a part of this country. As it is, so many consider themselves Mexicans but want the benefits of this country.

      • beastmaster

        what about the hangnings and cross burning in the south?????

    • brundlefly

      Never mind that the majority of illegal immigrants end up paying a lot into the government via things like sales taxes, but don’t see the benefit from the welfare programs you speak of because they are here illegally. But I won’t stand in the way of you working yourself into an illogical, bigoted froth.

      • Kayleigh

        I used to be a Head Start Teacher and all of my kids were here in the US illegally, they also got free services. BTW in case you did not know Head Start is a day care/ preschool program that is federally funded for disadvantaged kids who would normally not get to go to preschool they got free food, free school trips, and if they were still in diapers we also supplied those as well and the parents did not pay a dime out tax dollars did. I would go on home visits and some of these families would have tv’s the size of a wall and yet they would tell me we can’t afford clothes for our kids! Also some of these families would pull up to the school driving BMW’s, Range Rovers, and Mercedes. Oh yeah my parents are from Bolivia they came here LEGALLY almost 40 years ago.

      • Dayna

        I work at a hospital in Tucson and we lose millions of dollars a year treating illegal immigrants. At this point, I know all of the regulars, but I can’t turn them away because by law we are required to treat them. We know we won’t see a dime from them ever.

    • Scytherius

      Just stop typing now and maybe, just maybe, you can convince us your IQ is above 50.

      • NativePatriot

        Kayleigh you dont even buy the info your talking about how cute I have never seen a undocumented person in a BMW…so stupid.

    • The Truth

      @jake, wow, I’m surprise you manage to type all that garbage with you cheetos’ infested fat fingers, oh thanks to proving what a dumb f-u-c-k you are.. what’s the matter? Upset casue your mother abandoned you for a mexican? Maybe she had a good reason

      • jake

        No, I’m upset about the slow destruction of this country. Mexico actually coaches illegals on how to take advantage of the US system.

      • Juuust a little outside

        Slow destruction of this country? You must’ve been seriously vexed during the disastrous Bush years. He wasted no time in destroying his country.

      • jake

        Yeah, Bush and Obama are two peas in a pod….for me.

      • The Truth

        @jake, hahahaha, keep typing your idiotic “rethoric”.. you keep coming off as a dumb and ignorant fool who clearly doesn’t know what he’s talking about and his only arsenal are racist lies

      • onechance

        To the truth.You are one big jackass.And I would love to put my foot up your ass.

      • ninapintasantamaria

        When people have no real points, and find their opinions at odds with logic and reason, they start calling people names. It seems that the word ‘racist’ is the most popular name to use when a person finds themselves in this situation.

    • The Whole Enchilada

      I agree with Jake.
      And, Dustin, we didn’t steal their land.
      The Spanish did…but we both took it by conquest and paid for it in gold.

      • Dustin

        So what was the Mexican-American War?

      • Juuust a little outside

        The rape of the First Nations and the stealing of thei lands, on the other hand, is a completely different situation.

      • beastmaster

        these illegal immigrants are often targeted because they are easily spotted on streets. But what about the illegals from overseas who commit insurance fraud, and cheat the welfare system? What about the financial dent that they put in our society? It is hard to identify these people because of their european attire but come one people….

      • Adult

        Now, now immature little children, nobody looks all that smart when they start name-calling. If you are a mature adult you can make a point without lowering yourself to calling perfect strangers negative names.

    • check it out

      sorry, but there are more whites on welfare than any other people. and while alot will disagree, majority of whites will not do any work that is now provided by immigrants. you can’t deny it! alot of whites out there now don’t have a committed work ethic in the jobs they’re in now, they think they know more than their bosses, think they can make more somewhere else, don’t respect their coworkers, and are the biggest kiss a**s ever cuz their parents failed them at birth. there are lot of a-hole parents out there now that actually defend their kids when they misbehave. so don’t blame immigrants for taking advantage of resources that are offered to them. whites will become the minority in time, you wait and see. then you will eat your words for treating others with hate and disrespect.

      • John

        Blacks and hispanics account for well over 50% of welfare recipiency, loathsome racist. Your virulent, hatefilled-bigotry is typical of the casual racism against Whites. If a White posted your brand of acid spew, whiny minorities would be up in arms over it.

    • Kellie N

      Stan, you’re an idiot. Illegal too I’m guessing?

    • naomi

      up yours jake! i’m mexican and i follow the laws. but of course if your something other than mexican what concern do you have? it’s not like you are going to be the one being asked if you’re illegal if you are simply walking the street. people keep blaming all their problems on illegals well you know what i had a cousin who was stabbed and you know what the police thought that it was an illegal or that my cousin was part of a gang but the truth was that he was stabbed by a WHITE guy who tried to steal my cousin’s wallet. not all illegals are criminals! but p.s i don’t not acknowledge the fact that people are here illegally either. i just believe that there has to be a better way to confront the immigration problem.

    • TruePatriot

      My uncles are illegal, they’ve been paying taxes for 12 yrs. like every other illegal migrant we know. I wonder where this non tax paying histeria comes from.

  • Anthony

    HEY! My mother is Mexican, and your opinion is offensive to those Mexicans that do work hard and abide by the laws. My mother did everything by the books and now she is a citizen. It’s offenses like yours that make others believe that all Mexicans break the law.

    • Anthony

      Darn. I meant this as a reply to Jake.

  • Ceballos

    I like how insane the cast is, I like remembering what Jeff Fahey looks like with his hair actually done (Frank Lapidus’ mane on “Lost” has been out of control all season) and I like how they incorporated the footage from the original faux-trailer with new footage for the real movie.

    Looks like a fun enough time – except for Jessica Alba. Sorry, but it just seems like she’s gonna suck in this the way she sucks in pretty much everything I’ve seen her in.

    • Anthony

      Yup, Jessica Alba’s acting really does look terrible. But I do love me some Rodriguez and Segal!

    • Annette

      Love Jeff Fahey – his eyes are gorgeous. Lost totally misused him this season – he’s had absolutely nothing to do on there.

    • Nicole

      I am more worried about Lindsay Lohan bringing down the movie, he life just seems like such a disaster lately I am worried about her performance in the movie. I have been waiting for this movie since the announced they were making it, I loved the faux trailer in Grindhouse and just hope it isn’t ruined.

      • BG 17

        Ah, finally a thread talking about how much fun this movie might be, as opposed to the pissing contest regarding who is worse – the law-makers or the law-breakers. This movie makes me want to go buy an old El Camino and go see it at the drive-in…

  • Miranda

    thank you jake.

    • stan

      No, thank you Miranda. for outing yourself as a racist piglet.

      • Juuust a little outside

        And for her ironic name. Rights anyone?

  • W

    This looks AMAZING! Can’t f ckin wait!

    • Annette

      Oh eeeyeah! I can’t wait either… I’ve had this on the radar since the trailer ran in Grindhouse. So happy to see it come to fruition. THIS is an ALL-STAR cast to die for. I dunno – Rodriguez is becoming more of a favorite director than Tarantino at this point.

  • stan

    This is my NEW FAVORITE MOVIE EVER. VAMOS A LA FRONTERA, PENDEJOS!!!!

    • Cartman

      Stan, yer a puss.

  • machette

    Looks F’n AWESOME

    • Annette

      Makes me want to throw a party for opening night!

  • Christine

    Sweet trailer! Looks cheesy awesome!

  • Un Solo

    Go Machete!!!

  • Annette

    Danny Trejo hasn’t gotten this much acting in since his head rode the turtle in Breaking Bad. Time for some serious coverage in the magazine, EW!

  • ned ryerson

    hey anthony. too bad the arizona laws won’t be affecting your mother then, since that law was created to cut down the amount of ILLEGAL immigrants in the state. if she did everything by the book then whats the friggen problem! stupid!

    • Anthony

      I made that statement because Jake made a generalization about ALL Mexicans. Maybe you should read something twice before calling someone stupid.

      • jake

        I said illegals, most of which are from Mexico in Arizona. Of course you probably dont pay any taxes at all so what do myou care, huh?

      • Juuust a little outside

        Such stupidity is taxing to everyone higher up on the intellectual scale.

    • gibby

      Hey moron, it will affect her if she “looks” Mexican because she’s going to get pulled over and get asked for her “papers”.

    • Anona Muss

      It’s about the color of her skin. she’s probably tan, as most Hispanics are, so she and others might get stopped based on that and that alone. With Arizona being 30% Hispanic, a lot of natural born citizens will be harrassed.

  • Mike

    It isn’t racist to want to stem illegal immigration, Arizona’s law however is profiling, and not the way to reform the system.

    I feel for the people who want to come here, but it does hurt those of us already here.

    Back to the topic though, great to see Trejo and Rodriguez back in action!!!

  • VAN

    You know from space there are no borders.

    Movie looks pretty cool

    • Josh M

      And you know from maps that there are.

    • dan

      in reply to AZ teacher
      I couldn’t agree with you more. all these people that don’t agree with you shout and scream that you are a racist. california voted on prop 187 by a majority vote. but the minority voice is very loud and it never went into effect. I say that the majority of us that have voted for these laws should boycot this movie. I mean his claim to fame was that he was a drug addict and he did some prison time(one or two year runs, drug addict time). this guy can’t act anyways the best parts of his movies are when someone kills him.

  • speedy gonzalez

    Papers? We don’t need no stinking papers!

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