'Idolatry': How this week's 'American Idol' had shades of 'Ringu,' 'Hannah Montana,' and 'The Big Lebowski'

It wasn’t the easiest week to be an American Idol fan — not with what Paige Miles, Tim Urban, and Andrew Garcia did to “Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now),” “Crazy Little Thing Called Love,” and “I Heard It Through the Grapevine,” respectively. But Idolatry is here to help you recover from the horror in time for Tuesday’s R&B night with guest mentor Usher. My cohost Tanner Stransky and I have a few suggestions for improving the downward spiral of season 9, plus, our executive producer Jason Averett has selected some classic film clips to turn “frightening” into “frighteningly funny.” Oh, and in the spirit of Idol fandom, Tanner and I even found nice things to say about the Top 11 Week debacle (and guest mentor Miley Cyrus). Press play below, then head down to the comments section to share your own thoughts. And follow me on Twitter @EWMichaelSlezak. (p.s. If you have any trouble viewing the Idolatry player below, try visiting our Idolatry player hub here.)

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  • Alex

    I was starting to get worried that you weren’t ever going to post it! Definitely worth the wait.

    • Dan

      Im sick of the Crystal worship.
      Siobhan was better..

      • Rob

        I’m sick of the ignoring the fact that Siobhan does the same performance every week. That’ll be pitchy and screechy

      • Firecat

        Same performance? “Think”, “Paint it, Black”, and “Superstition” were only similar because she screamed at the end of them. And neither were similar to “Wicked Game” or “The House of the Rising Sun”

        Crystal has hardly mixed things up.

      • Daniel

        To quote Siobhan,
        “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKK!”

      • cher

        You are a tone deaf idiot!

      • ellen

        Did you know why Paige went home last week? She didn’t scream at the end. Viewers don’t care if you don’t hit the notes on the first 90% of the song. As long as you scream or screech at the end, your good. Call it Siobahn’s strategy.

      • Gritaer

        SIOBHAN IS BETTER THAN EVERYONE PUT TOGETHER!!! Someone get rid of Didi please this girl is seriously fake and annoying! I hate that she’s trying to be like Siobhan, please Didi take your annoying face and drunk dancing somewhere else! I could care less about Crystal she’s like furniture I’m sure she’ll fail next week without her precious guitar just you wait and see! The rest are not even worth being in the same sentence as Siobhan!

      • EssexBoy

        Wow the fact you put it in capitals has convinced me.

      • Sarah

        I don’t like either one of them. I’m voting for Tim. He’s at least mildly entertaining.

      • Bijou

        Woah, where did that Didi hate come from?

      • Firecat

        And Crystal’s strategy is trotting out her guitar each week. I’ve already pointed out the 2 songs that Siobhan performed very well, without screams at the end. And both of those performances are more memorable than anything Crystal has done so far.

      • SergeantPepper

        Since when is trotting out a guitar a bad thing. Yeah Dylan, Clapton and Plant with their damned guitars.

      • Kate

        So much animosity, I love Crystal, Didi, and Siobhan! My Top 3, they are all awesome they have their own styles! CrysDiSio for the effin win! I love me some Casey and Lee to! CrysDioSioCaLee for my top 5 baybee!!!!

      • Firecat

        Because in the context of this competition it becomes tired, boring, and predictable.

      • Allie

        well rob if siobhan listens to simon you won’t hear the “screeching”. at least when siobhan tries to hit those high notes, she does, unlike some other contestants.

      • EssexBoy

        Ha Ha peace and love Kate, I like your style. I’m with you CrysDiSio for the effin win.

      • D-Con

        I agree 100% Crystal is so average and hardly ever changes the song at all + her song choices are so predictable, Tracy Chapman, Janis Joplin? BORING!!! If people like what she is doing so much they should go to a GRATEFUL DEAD concert parking lot and they will see a few dozen hippie chicks doing the exact same thing (if they decide to go into the concert THE DEAD will be awesome by the way, I’m not criticizing them at all) Siohban is so much more original, unique and talented it’s time the judges stop kissing Crystal’s a$$. enough already.

      • Jeanne

        Me too!!!!!!!!!!

      • Jason

        Why is everyone making this all about a supposed Crystal/Siobhan rivalry! They both don’t strike me as people who think they are better than the other. They are two completely opposite singers, on what standards do we exactly measure them to, to determine which one is better?it’s a matter of preference people. That being said I prefer Crystal, but I can definitely see Siobhan’s brilliance!

      • juant

        I rather see Crystal standing with her guitar, rather than walking on stage like a lost smiling duck.

      • mirriam

        Siobahn will win AI because she’s marketable. I agree with you that Crystal is boring like Janis and Tracy, and Siobhan is unique like Kesha and Lady Gaga.

      • Lil

        @mirriam Kudos you just won the argument by saying Kesha and Lady Gaga are better than Janis and Tracy!

      • mirriam

        that’s a joke.

      • DIDI LOVER

        Gritaer says that Didi has a boring face?!? I think she has a beautiful face and I would like to have sex with it. Her face that is, I could do without the rest of her, but if there was some way that I could just remove her face and keep it in a box in my room and take it out every night and make love to it, that would be awesome!!! Although realistically, if I want to have sex with it I would probably need to remove her entire head, not just the face.

      • Graham

        If Sobhan would just sing “the” note instead of screeching it. I think the big note is now detracting and distracting from the rest of the song. She has talent, and she doesn’t need the power bellow to prove it. She’s proved she can hold a note, now she just needs to carry a song.

      • chonkae

        hahahaha!!!!OMG somebody compared janis joplin and tracy chapman with lady gaga and kesha…WOW!…WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THE YOUTH?????…whatever!bowersox will be HUGE!!!

      • Terri

        Dan I have my grandma’s hearing aid for you. YOU really think Siobhan sang better than Crystal? Really? You sure don’t know music if you think that. I want Casey and Aaron to come out of thier shells and SING DANG IT! Make it work!

      • areyouin

        NOT!

      • Sarah D

        Siobahn is obnoxious. Freaking come down from whatever you’re high on and make a coherent sentence that doesn’t sound like a question. That sounded harsh, I guess I just don’t ‘get’ her.

      • George

        Hey Dan… If you’re sick of the Crystal worship, then stop watching Idolatry! There ya go… Problem solved.

      • wakeforce

        Great! A replay of season 8′s Adam vs. Kris debate!

      • Dan

        I think Crystal is good enough to make the top 3 at least!

    • Bubba

      Agreed, and Tanner’s lisp weirdly brought out a lisp in Slezak that I’d never noticed before. I love Siobhan, but I’m ready for her to retire the screech.

    • DJAM

      Yes, Tanner needs to be buying shirts in the ‘Husky’ section, but what about Michael? He’s starting to look like a potato. Dude, get out from behind that desk once and a while and go outside. And the purple shirt with his translucent skin? Fail.

      • Lea

        Would all of you please stop? I know I sound like a mommy, but it’s just mean. Cut it out.

    • brett

      All three of you are ridiculous a-holes. If you aren’t older than 10, shame on you all.

    • Bubba

      brett, Michael and Tanner just spent three episodes of Idolatry blasting defenseless contestants, I think a little turnabout is fair play.

    • Heather

      This season is so bad. Please make it end.

      • Cat

        We don’t have to make it end. Just turn off your TV. DUH!

      • KelBen

        How about we just rewind to season 7?

      • Ash

        Yeah that’s what I’m doing, after I watch the shows I’ll go watch seaosn 8 or 7, online! And After watch the 2 best seasons ever I realize that this is the worst season EVER

      • Palm Springs

        Tanner should NOT wear tight purple shirts. Michael pulled off his purple shirt just fine. Miss Donnie and Kristen, love those ladies!

      • Daniel

        I watch it for the bad. -.^ (and the good too)

      • GAY FOR TIM

        You can make it end yourself, just stupid watching it. but I bet you can’t, at least not till Tim gets voted off cause he’s too sexy!!! OOOHHH GAAAAA!

      • GAY FOR TIM

        whoops meant to say just stop watching it stupid

    • bobsaccamanna

      yeah and the guitar has really been a hinderance for Joni Mitchell,Melissa Etheridge,or even more recent indie artists like Tegan and Sara or Serena Ryder…how stupid to think that it becomes boring to hear Crystal hit every single note perfectly,sing with complete conviction,and not screech like a banshee at the end..I can see siobhans record now..”Siobhan does Yoko Ono”

      • Linda

        Siobhan is a freak. Just weird. I can’t see anything marketable about her. She is a female wannabe Adam. She is using him to get attention. Only problem she can’t hit a high note in tune.She flat out screams like the place is on fire or she has just hurt herself(or someones’ears)
        I too want Casey and Aaron to come out of their shells and show what they’ve got. Andrew needs to go home and take Siobhan with him. Paige had a great voice, just bad choices.
        As far as Crystal and her guitar, I believe Kris had his guitar most of last year, and David Cook had his, & Bo Bice The peeps that need to be here still are Lily Scott, and Katelyn …they were robbed judt like Alexis Grace from last year

      • areyouin

        “Siobhan does Yoko Ono” — hysterical! Thanks.

      • Chad

        My God Linda your ignorance is Offensive! This “Crystal is awesome” talk is just downright silly and for Michael to say she is “carrying this season” is totally wrong. She is too formulaic, dull and uninspired to be carrying anything, let alone the 9th season of idol. There is nothing original about her…all the way down to singing on a rug barefoot. Every hippie guitar chick does that

      • bobsaccamanna

        What is offensive chad is your lack of anything remotely resembling musical knowledge.Not every hippie chick with a guitar can sit down on a rug and then have a sound come out of her mouth that sounds like crystals..you need to actually go to a concert every so often..or even once..plus..she writes her own songs..and most of them are better than anything she has sung on idol to date

      • bobsaccamanna

        and don’t look now..but she is carrying the season..even at the restaurant in connecticut where the fans all gather to route for hometown girl katie stevens..after crystals performance last tuesday all the katie fans in the restaurant stood up and gace crystal a standing ovation..when she goes..the show is over..Slezak knows it..and more impotantly,the judges know it

      • Siobhan 4ever

        Siobhan’s no freak! She’s a beautiful soul and a wonderful singer!

    • melissa

      If AI was strictly a singing contest, Crystal would win because she simply sings better than anybody else this season. Her voice is powerful, soulful, and versatile. Siobhan is ok, but she does’nt have the versatility or a distinct tone to her voice like Crystal does.

      • Diana

        I’m on Team Crystal but it’s unfair to say that Siobhan has no range or versatility. She easily has the highest range amongst the contestants and has proven to be versatile. I love my Crystal, but I don’t think we need to put down the other contestants to praise her. Anyway Mamasox you rocked last week I didn’t want it to end. Sublime performance, how can I not love you?!

    • darren

      Tanner needs to go. Cant face another week of his saggy man boobs squished against his tight t-shirt.

      • shawshank

        Thank you for pointing this out so I don’t have to. If you are going to introduce Tanner, the week after the charming Dawnie is not the time to do it. That boy makes Slezak look like a football jock in comparison. Sure he’s a nice guy, but not an Idolatry cohost. That said, the Ringu opening was fantastic.

      • Lauren

        His pompadour is scary and his shirt and moobies make me think of Grimace.

    • Steve from Canada

      The other guy, Tanner, is seriously annoying!

  • Katie

    The Prom Queen needs to go this week. Bow-er-sox!

    • D-Con

      BOR-ING-SOX is more like it. Simon was right when he told her she should be singing outside a subway station for spare change. By the way if she did I bet she would starve.

      • mesuda

        Crystal = Amesomesox

      • mishka

        Crystal is great but how could she be bad when most of the contestants are just average if not worst?
        Although I enjoy Crystal performances, I’m still rooting for Siobhan! I’m so in love of her candour :)and that high notes!
        Miley did a decent job, she was humble all the way and admitted she couldn’t handle judges critics right after performances.
        Btw, I’M SICK OF ELLEN! Playing the likeability card after Paige’s performance was such a coward move. No wonder Randy got his first sit back., he’s the best critic when it comes to music. Ellen is getting a lot of money just for smiling and cracking jokes. Things are getting serious now, “E”.

      • K.K.KASEY

        CRYSTAL = BORINGSUX, Just cause she has blond hair and blue eyes like a normal person is supposed to doesn’t make her awesome. She is a dirty hippie who needs to cut disgusting dread locks (what’s the point of having blond hair if you not going to wear it like a white person?) and take a bath. I’d bet a million dollars that she stinks like patchouli like all the other smelly hippies. She should have a little self respect and clean up her act. also we need to get rid of MIKE and ANDREW they don’t belong up there with decent white folks (except Crystal who has potential to be decent if she get washed)!

      • Terri

        Too bad Danny Gokey or Adam Lambert or Allison are not on this season, any one of them would have won Idol in THIS SEASON of average and boring untalent!

      • fg

        Wow KKK, hope you think you are being amusing, otherwise you seriously need counseling. Really you need counseling even if think you are amusing.

      • areyouin

        @mishka – - are you British? My comment is to you saying that you like Siobhan’s “candour” (British spelling of candor). When do you see her candor? When she’s being interviewed or addressing the judges – when she’s boring as he*l? When she’s a s l o w – t a l k e r (Seinfeld-ism)?

      • K.K.KASEY

        fg – If you must know actually I am in counseling right now and have discussed my posting with her and my therapist sad that this is a healthy outlet and that if keeps me out of trouble I should keep doing it. sorry if I offended you but I gotta do what is best for me.

      • Sandra Holley

        Actually, she used to make 300 dollars an hour. not a bad living if you ask me. :) I’ve thrown a few hundred in myself. Chicago rocks!! We miss you, Crystal!!

  • Logistics

    I bet Katie Stevens is the Rachel Berry of her highschool… except a worse singer. Way worse. How many bets that she has broadway posters in her bedroom and at least 2 broadway fakebooks

    • tex

      and that is bad?

      • KelBen

        Not bad just without value!

    • Kate

      Completely agree. Katie has been the star of her high school choir and/or drama club and she is shocked that the judges aren’t fawning over her like the people back home.

      • Scott

        Have either of you even listened to her studio recordings? She has one of the four best voices in the group…..just has to work on her performance. I think you all have a problem with who she represents and not her singing……

        Get over it!

      • mesuda

        She’s got a good voice I agree, but she never seems to be able to control/use it correctly.

      • Seriously?

        @Scott Have you ever heard of AUTO TUNE? Of course she sounds great in her studio recordings, all her many pitchy flubs are magically corrected and she then sounds flawless. Why do you think so many pop artists today sound great on their CDs and absolutely lousy live, thus resorting to lip-syncing and such?

        Katie needs to go home. Her voice sounds strained when she sings and she could really do with a couple years of lessons to help correct her serious pitch issues.

      • Doreen

        katie will sell alot because shes a good recording artist and thats wat ppl listen to on the radio but it doesnt matter who wins as much as it matters what u do after

      • mari

        she is horrible, just because she wows at home, and walks her granny doesnt mean diddly!

    • Becky

      who is rachel berry?

      • MsDaisy

        Main character on “Glee”.

  • Sam

    Tim wasn’t as bad as Andrew. Fact.

    • Ms. K

      Wrong! And I’m not an Andrew fan. Tim is the biggest cheeseball I’ve ever seen.

      • D-Con

        I’m not really a fan of either but you gotta admit that knee slide was pretty awesome, even MILEY said so. I think LEE, CASEY are the best guys, MIKE is really good too but I prefer Rock to R&B but he is still really good at what he’s doing. as for the girls SIOBHAN and DIDI are the stand outs despite all the CRYSTAL hype

      • mad maggie

        oh…well if MILEY said so!

      • Terri

        I agree D-con, you got it right!

      • areyouin

        Cheeseball – definitely. Cheesy smile to go with cheesy performances – especially last week.

      • dru

        Tim was a cheese ball but was in tune and entertaining. Look at that smile of his. How can he not be a cheese ball?

        Andrew is roadkill. Not in tune, not entertaining, not even likeable at this point.

    • sbwm

      Right. Andrew is consistently bad and needs to go next.

      • jake

        Yes, he needed to go a long time, when the choice came down to him and alex lambert — it should have been lambert — now andrew is not even in the bottom 3? what gives — he must have found a loophole in the voting or is getting family across the country to vote for him. Tim’s got a great voice.

    • Graham

      Agree. Andrew is pedalling backwards, and Tim is still coasting (uphill).

    • willyb

      seriously, how does Andrew never make it into at least the bottom 3??? He should be eliminated, so why is he safe every week!!

      • James

        You must’ve missed Hollywood Week. I hope Andrew gets back with his guitar tomorrow.

  • TGB

    Way to completely freak me out with the Ringu clips, but you might have made up for it with Lebowski. I love the Dude!

    • Niix Starkyller

      Yes. Agreed. HOW-EV-ER … I now want a whole YouTube mash-up with Bowersox’s Bobby playing over excerpts from Lebowski. I feel teased, and unsatisfied.

  • Lizabeth

    I’m with you guys…I’ve been dipping into the Bow-er-sox Kool-aid since the first time we saw her.

    Great Idolatry! Kudos to you for finding something nice to say about both Miley and Katie!

    • Calli

      Same here… she’s had me in her pocket since the first time I heard her.

    • mad maggie

      Would’ve started drinking the CrySox Kool-Aid sooner if I’d have known it was White Russians! Sweeeeeet!

  • The Virgin Carey

    I can never ever remember Didi. Ever. I have to wrack my brain for her name, and I still forget her performances.

    • swthompson

      in the same vein, many of us will not remember your criticisms.

      • liz

        fortunately virgin carey’s livelihood doesn’t depend on popularity votes or gaining fans from the general public…unlike Didi..

      • EssexBoy

        Fortunately a lot more of us do remember Didi and are voting to keep her in. Which is pretty evident since she hasn’t been in the bottom three donchya think??

  • Jim

    Damn, time to pop in my Big Lebowski DVD.

  • salsal

    michael, make your subtitles onger, i constantly have to pause, you are the only reason im watching this season, also didi is my favorite. i want to make a cafepress for lee- wwdcs- what wwould david cook sing.(ps david cook is WAY WAY better) also are you saying nice things about kara all the time bc shes gonna be on the show in may?

  • tiggs

    why don’t they just end the season now. Crystal wins.

    • Ugly Jenny

      Is crystal winning a forgone conclusion? If so that would be great with me. I caught the last minute of this week’s episode and almost all the those contestants couldn’t even win a karaoke contest with those weak a$$ vocals!

    • The Dude

      The Dude abides. His Dudeness is with team Bowersox. El Duderino for La Bowersox.

      • mad maggie

        His Dudeness was awesome. LMAO Slezak. Still hoping you take Simon’s place.

  • bebe

    can I still vote for allison? No?

    • roquemocan

      We can still vote with our wallets – her CD is VERY enjoyable

  • Teena

    No mention of Paige’s exit song? The best she sounded all season. It looked like Kara was going to have a cow.

    • mesuda

      I concur.

  • glassescafe

    IDG the jizzing over Crystal. She’s good and she deserves to be there but I feel like every song she sings sounds exactly the same.

    • anon

      it’s called consistency. she sounds like she’s singing from the same album each time.

      idg you people who want your favorite to alternate genres every week

      • anon

        exactly

        the contestants need to overcome the dumbass theme weeks and i think crystal does that

      • nick

        So far the themes have been softballs. This is foremost a reality show.. so yeah a lack of variety could cause her the crown.

      • Rascal020978

        Nick: well count me among those who beleive the “themes” used by AI generally are tired and unoriginal, so I see nothing unusual about those chose so far this season. However, I do take personal issue with the idea that variety/uniqueness is a virtue unto itself. Entertainment value is very subjective, and personally, I don’t find Crystal’s performances boring so far because I enjoy listening to her and I would prefer she stay true to who she is a let the chips fall where they may. I just don’t give credit for being original when the product is unenjoyable (from my perspective … again, VERY subjective).

      • horrorparties

        i agree that she’s consistent, but the problem is that there’s no variety in her consistency. kris and adam and david cook were good (and garnered such strong fanbases) because they were consistent AND changed up their performances every week. they kept you guessing. hopefully crystal can start doing that too. i’m interested to see what she does without her guitar this week.

      • anon

        i don’t think she needs to change up her performances tbh

        she’s just on each week and that’s what matters. someone like siobhan who switches it up each week but has pitch or screech issues? not going to go as far.

      • Stacie

        Someone should only switch it up if they don’t know themselves. Crystal knows what artist she wants to be, she shouldn’t change it up because Kara wants to see what she looks and sounds like without the guitar.

        http://idolbethejudge.blogspot.com

      • JeffF

        Tell that to Melinda Dolittle!

      • mesuda

        yes, but melinda dolittle didn’t win Idol. Sometimes the best person doesn’t win.

      • COOKIE MONSTER

        That’s cause Dave Cook was what is called creative, Crystal can sing decent covers that sound pretty much like the original but so can a million other people, it’s really not that hard. I like Cook and Kris, actually I thought Gokey should have won last year, but did not care much for Adam but he was definitively creative and original and interesting to watch week after week and I looked forward to seeing what he was going to do and that’s kind of the point, to make people want to watch you. when crystal comes on that’s usually time to get a snack for me cause I already know exactly what I’m going to see. Yawn!!!

      • mad maggie

        OFFS, turn the page already.

      • nick

        even on an album each song isn’t the same tempo. There are at least a few ballads.

        Besides the is a reality show, its not all about the music.

    • bobsaccamanna

      I can just hear you people listening to a Melissa Etheridge CD and saying”man this sucks..every song sounds the same”…Yeah I really hate when someone hits every single note perfectly and absolutely blows me away with just the sound of her voice..and not the dramatics..she’s not Lady Gaga..she’s an artist

      • bobsaccamanna

        go watch biggest loser nick..that’s a reality show

  • tex

    ringu for the win.

  • bamabunny

    The contrast of Crystal and “The Dude” just felt so dead-on. Bravo!

    • chewy

      The rug really ties the stage together.

      • Graham

        She’s setting up her rendition of Magic Carpet Ride where she plays the sitar.

    • gen

      LMFAO that was brilliant. I love Michael Slezak!

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