'Mad Men' characters don't just look like Barbies...

They will be Barbies! Mattel is planning versions of Barbie and Ken modeled after Mad Men‘s Joan, Roger, Don, and Betty. If you can afford one of the 7,000 to 10,000 copies — they’re $74.95 each! — it will surely be your “statement doll.” According to the New York Times, in the interest of maintaining that wholesome Barbie image we all know and maybe have weird nightmares about as adults, “The dolls come with period accessories like hats, overcoats, pearls and padded undergarments, but no cigarettes, ashtrays, martini glasses or cocktail shakers.” What?! How will I make mine act out typical scenes like Draper dinner party, 11 a.m. in the Sterling-Cooper office, or working lunch?

I suppose I could get my mom to mail me my Samantha’s Party Treats setup from the American Girls catalog, and then I could just convince myself the Mad Men Barbies are drinking booze from their fancy goblets. And it will be fun to manipulate doll-Betty to eat those oversize petits fours. And maybe my old Kirsten A.G. doll with the busted hairline and hair that is one giant knot could play Sally Draper and serve doll-Don his Sunday-morning cocktails. She’d tower over him, much like Nanny in Muppet Babies, but that would somehow seem appropriate because Sally’s so adorably clumsy/unkempt. Oh, God, I have so many plans!

Anyway, if Mattel has any sense left in its pretty little doll-head, it knows it should send us a batch of Mad Men Barbies so we can do another EW.com doll video series. But first, it will fix the way-too-skinny Christina Hendricks model and not waste the opportunity to idealize a realistic (okay, still idealistic) female figure. If I blog it, they will come.

Which Mad Men Barbie would you splurge for — or would you need the entire set?

Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett

Comments (35 total) Add your comment
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  • Logistics

    Could you imagine making them smoke, drink and sleep with one another?!!? Best fantasy life ever.

    • Donna

      You are GRADE A creepy.

      • Brian

        No, Logistics isn’t creepy at all. Clearly he or she just watches the show. Also, you’re a prude. Now shut up.

      • Donna

        Brian = Logistics?
        Whatever. I watch the show too! It’s creepy, however, for he/she to a)play with doll b) simulate sex with said doll and c) derive pleasure from a and b.

      • ann

        not that creepy. my barbies totally use to “do it”.

    • Kiare

      This sounds exactly like the way my sister and I played with Barbies as kids. I mean, we didn’t derive pleasure from it or really know what happened- but we clearly absorbed way too much from the soap operas my mom watched.

      • Cara

        Same. My Barbies “bumped” with Ken, G.I. Joe, Wolverine…didn’t see the big deal.

      • ann

        my barbie used to “bump” with my NKOTB Joe doll – ha.

  • Jess

    OMG I WANT THESE

  • rkor

    Yes Mattel, please make Joan look like Christine Hendricks. The first thing I thought when I saw this was “well at least there’ll be one Mattel/Barbie doll that is even close to real life”……so thanks but no thanks.

    • rkor

      That’s Christina, not Christine.

    • anna

      It’s BARBIE. It’s not supposed to be realistic.

  • KRG

    I would want these if they include Carla and make Joan her sexy curvy self.

  • Johnification

    Seriuously, would it kill Mattel to give Joan an actually curvy figure? Well, come to think about it, they’d have to manufacture a whole new line of body parts, so, um, probably…

  • Lala

    I want them too!

  • SpiritW72

    A Skipper doll could stand in for Sally Draper. And of course, Midge for Midge!!

  • natalie

    The big winner here is Roger – his doll looks about 28. I’m assuming the fully-stocked bar is sold separately to get more money out of the kids.

  • Emily

    Oh this is fantastic! You blog about the best things, Annie! As a curvy redhead, I would love to have a Joan doll!

  • Madd

    I WANT THE JOAN DOLL! It would really help me explain to my fiance what he missed when I forget to Tivo it (since I basically include every detail). But it would help more if there were dolls of the other minor characters. Although I doubt they’d be able to make a great Pete doll. Also, I WANT A SAL DOLL!!!!
    In case you can’t tell, I might be even more obsessed with this show then Annie.

  • debi

    Wouldn’t it be funny if the Pete doll was the same height as the Sally doll…

  • Sarah El

    I would totally get Joan.

  • spiritw72

    A couple of ideas that didn’t fly with Mattel: “Freddie Rumson Alive” doll. Give it a drink, see what happens!
    Talking Jimmy Barrett insult comic doll. “You’re garbage!”

  • Luis PJ

    Accessories Sold Separately… More Doll bachelor

  • Kiare

    Joan! Too bad she isn’t quite right, but hey, they can’t remake the Barbie figure for just one doll.

    • ann

      why not? let’s bring barbie into the real world – start now!

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