They will be Barbies! Mattel is planning versions of Barbie and Ken modeled after Mad Men‘s Joan, Roger, Don, and Betty. If you can afford one of the 7,000 to 10,000 copies — they’re $74.95 each! — it will surely be your “statement doll.” According to the New York Times, in the interest of maintaining that wholesome Barbie image we all know and maybe have weird nightmares about as adults, “The dolls come with period accessories like hats, overcoats, pearls and padded undergarments, but no cigarettes, ashtrays, martini glasses or cocktail shakers.” What?! How will I make mine act out typical scenes like Draper dinner party, 11 a.m. in the Sterling-Cooper office, or working lunch?
I suppose I could get my mom to mail me my Samantha’s Party Treats setup from the American Girls catalog, and then I could just convince myself the Mad Men Barbies are drinking booze from their fancy goblets. And it will be fun to manipulate doll-Betty to eat those oversize petits fours. And maybe my old Kirsten A.G. doll with the busted hairline and hair that is one giant knot could play Sally Draper and serve doll-Don his Sunday-morning cocktails. She’d tower over him, much like Nanny in Muppet Babies, but that would somehow seem appropriate because Sally’s so adorably clumsy/unkempt. Oh, God, I have so many plans!
Anyway, if Mattel has any sense left in its pretty little doll-head, it knows it should send us a batch of Mad Men Barbies so we can do another EW.com doll video series. But first, it will fix the way-too-skinny Christina Hendricks model and not waste the opportunity to idealize a realistic (okay, still idealistic) female figure. If I blog it, they will come.
Which Mad Men Barbie would you splurge for — or would you need the entire set?
Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett