Réalité: Sex problems on 'SYTYCD,' robots on 'DWTS,' dolphins on 'Top Chef,' and canine poses on 'Top Model'

Another week of reality television, another week of out-of-control vomiting. Aaron Carter tasted bile on Dancing With the Stars, fabulous guest judge Nigella Lawson fought the urge to hurl on Top Chef, and poor Carol Hannah dropped to her knees and worshiped the porcelain goddess on Project Runway. And while there was no overt tossing of the cookies on So You Think You Can Dance and America’s Next Top Model, both shows left my stomach in questionable condition after Mollee and Nathan tried to bring teen sex to vivid, horrible life on the former, and Nicole wasn’t automatically declared the winner before the season finale on the latter. Press play below for our entire four-part rundown (Runway doesn’t get an entire segment this week, because we question its taste level), then share your opinions in the comments section below. We promise there’ll be talk of bull castration, homemade dog food, ’70s pornstaches, and congressional-intern scandals. (No, Réalité is not NC-17. Good thing the MPAA doesn’t recognize we exist.) Oh, and if you’d be so kind (and you’re into the whole reality TV thingie), do follow me on Twitter @EWMichaelSlezak. Thanks!

Comments (69 total) Add your comment
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  • Tim G. (@rural_juror)

    Woohoo! You’re back!

  • Ken

    2nd!

  • Terri

    I know! Where have you guys been? I totally wanted your take on SYTYCD last week. Don’t leave us again!! *S*

    • Nancy

      DITTO!!!

  • sara

    agreed! no more leaving us!

    • Daemen Williams Sr.

      no,no,no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Stacy

    I love the videos!!! But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE…nobody cares about Top Model. Anyway to do a different show??? Anything but that show. It’s painful!!

    • Julia

      It’s almost the season finale, so just hang on for one more week!

    • niki

      I love the Top Model segment! The show (Tyra) is so over the top, it needs a good smack back down to reality. These recaps are hilarious!

      • Jennifer

        Agreed! Keep Top Model! It’s the funniest bit in the espisodes.

    • Kyle

      I don’t watch Top Model, but the other segments are so good I stick around to watch the Top Model part. That show is awful. Beyond useless.

    • TOPMODELFANNN

      Ummm your wrong! plenty of ppl watch top model including me! sorry, that comment just got to my nerves!

  • bubba

    Hahaha! So funny! I don’t even watch all these shows, but watching you make fun of them always makes my night!

  • D

    The Cindy Brady as Molly snippets had me rolling! I was laughing out loud those comparisons were so funny!

  • HAH

    Thank you. Molle=Cindy Brady, genius. I can only hope Jen is tricking us and is going to make an awesome comeback. But if she doesn’t, then I would love for Kevin to win Top Chef. Thank you for giving us a new episode of Réalité.

    • D

      I think they were reading the comments in the recap-someone said Mollee was a combination of all three Brady girls and I said she was CINDY all the way. Love the clips they used to illustrate though!

  • heLLo

    I loveeed the nicole appreciation <3
    You guys should do survivor! :D

  • Wes

    Ok, who edits this show? Whoever you are, I freaking LOVE YOU for the Top Chef segment (since it’s the only reality show I watch).

    I really hope Jen makes a comeback. Really, really hope so.

    • sbwm

      I think it is Jason Averett – but not sure – he is a producer and also does the AI Slezak videos – Idolotry. But not sure. Deserved much credit whoever it is!

      • Cookie

        “Jennifer FTDCW!! :P Slezak!”
        I can’t wait for RealitE every week!

  • AK

    “She like learned her Spanish at Chile’s.”

    Oh my god, that was hilarious!

  • Alan of Montreal

    Jennifer was ripped off on Top Model, man! She won last week’s challenge for crying out loud! And what the hell were they thinking with comparing Laura to Rachel Hunter? People, get some glasses!

  • Alan of Montreal

    I’m also surprised they didn’t talk about Nigel’s outbursts on SYTYCD. I would’ve loved to hear their opinions!

  • Scott

    NICOLE MUST WIN TOP MODEL!!!!!!And I agree about that not being her best photo that was picked. If she does not win I am done with this show, because I am sick of the best girls never winning.

  • kat

    Too funny! Mollee as Cindy Brandy = laughing out loud! Love Realite !!

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