You know you’re boring when the only reason people notice you’re not around is a full-fledged LAPD manhunt. Yes, Auggie fled town after his tryst with Violet (understandable — I’m still trying to get rid of the mental picture myself), off to Mexico to go “surfing.” Who did they get to fill in chopping the thyme at Coal!?
The knife the cops dug up last week was the weapon used to murder Sydney and it turned out to have Auggie’s blood on it. So a ridiculously large group of cops (and did I hear a helicopter?) swarmed Melrose to find him. Here’s a tip: go to Mexico and look for the guy with a surfboard and wooden facial expressions.
Despite Jonah’s shock at the news, Riley of course defended her BFF. But she started to get her doubts when Auggie told her on IM that he was struggling, prompting her to tip off the police.
In addition to that murderer-living-among-them business, the Jonah-Riley household was still fraught because of all that kissy stuff from last week. They fretted about not getting along despite being engaged – Jonah wanted some time alone to go to Joshua Tree and Riley wanted some quality couple time. When Ella called with a work emergency, Jonah jumped at the chance to get out of the apartment.
Ella needed her on-call fanboy to impress a potential new client, German auteur Franz Keppler. The director took a creepy fancy to her, though, and Jonah stopped his Fritz Lang references long enough to pretend to be Ella’s fiance – he later tells her, “I had to come up with something to keep Franz from slipping you the weinerschnitzel before salad was served.” Enough with the German jokes, that British actor’s accent was worse than Ella’s auf Wiedersehen!
Ella had another meal in mind, though. After a few glasses of pinot grigio at lunch, she dug into Jonah about his Riley troubles and suggested they nip off for a little afternoon delight at a nearby hotel so he could “explore some other options.” She even seemed genuinely gushing when she talked about how extraordinary Jonah is, and how Riley is “painfully normal.” He turned her down, rather harshly, and you could see the heart under Ella’s tough veneer for the first time.
We all know The Bitch is back next week –Amanda Woodward (Heather Locklear) will be working with Ella – but this episode’s de-bitching of Ella will help humanize her before any future showdowns with Amanda.
Speaking of showdowns, Violet was called to court for resisting arrest, so she stopped by Dr. Michael Mancini’s office to do her famous creepy eyed intense glare. “Either get me a lawyer or I get you divorced,” she said, threatening to share their sex tape with Michael’s wife. Michael got ballsy and decided to confront her later, threatening to tell the judge that she’s “a sick and twisted menace to society that should be locked up.” I’ll sign that petition.
Violet also overshared with Riley, talking about that Auggie hook-up. “Auggie and I have become, well, intimate,” Violet said, and I empathized with Riley as she tried not to upchuck her Lucky Charms. Violet later stalked Auggie by phone: “It’s been 24 hours since we last saw each other, but I miss you.” Hello, girlfriend, he’s a) gone to a different country the minute you became “intimate” and b) is wanted for murder. Time to take the hint and re-read that copy of He’s Just Not That Into You.
Lauren had the opposite problem with David finally making it clear that he’s very into her – what’s a callgirl to do with solid boyfriend material? These two had a heart to heart about him giving up his thieving, and they shared an electric kiss before she had a flash of her sideline career and told him she couldn’t “do this.” I don’t think she’ll be able to deny him too long (that tear looked genuine), and they definitely make a fun and sexy couple. And shouldn’t she have done enough “business” soon to trade in the La Perla for scrubs permanently?
Best line of the night: Ella, to Jonah and Franz: “Okay boys, let’s relax our trousers and get down to business.”
What did you think of this episode? Want to see more of Lauren and David together? Did you feel sorry for Ella rebuffed by Jonah? How excited are you for Amanda’s return next week?
Photo Credit: Patrick Wymore/The CW
Comments (1-30) of 35 Add your comment
Everything involving Violet was fantastic. Everything else was a snooze. So why are they getting rid of her again?
Is that a joke?
ha, its probably Jessica Simpson under an alias.
They should have hired someone else and kept the character.
It was the only character really trying to shake up things with more than just a kissing scandal.
MP still needs a character to cause havoc.
Re-cast the part.
They are getting rid of Violet because Ashley was acting like a “diva” showing up late, demanding things, etc.
I really really really wanted jonah and ella to be together… I was super sad when they didn’t… And David is super cute with Lauren! Hope these two couples work out!
God, I hope Amanda can save this painfully boring show. I seriously hate almost every character on this show but Ella and Jonah. Riley is annoying, violet is stupid, Lauren has had the chance to stop being a hoe twice now and she preferred to be a hoe. David is just too pretty boy. I really wish the writers would watch old dvds of the old melrose and get some ideas on why people liked the original. STUFF ACTUALLY HAPPENED! this show is like watching paint peel.
Its amusing to an extent, but I do not think bringing back Amanda will help. I am sure Heather L. was able to save shows (of her own generations) in the past, but she is way too old to save a show about 20-30 somethings – she is old enough to be their mothers. They need hot, young celebs.
Personally I am liking this series more and more each week. The loss of Violet and Augie is not a big loss and to be honest with you is a blessing to the series. Ella is by far the funniest one on the show and the most enjoyable character. I do have a personal liking for Riley despite most people not caring for her. Lauren has been annoying until last night and I found myself rooting for she and David to hook up. The introduction of Heather Locklear as Amanda should make this show even more interesting next week. I only hope that Locklear’s presence helps the ratings, because this show really is good!
I haven’t finished the episode yet, but I have to say that “Melrose Place” has been improving. Of course, firing Ashlee Simpson-Wentz is a huge bonus, and the indefinite return of Heather Locklear as Amanda. My only question: she was deemed older (at 30!) the first time around. Now, in her late 40s, will she be able to relate to these morons?
she dosen’t need to relate to them she’s going to have them all for dinner
What were they thinking when the got rid of Colin? I was a fan of the original series and was beginning to be a fan of the new series. Colin was one of the best characters…….I guess they weren’t thinking.
Oops … meant to say the return of Heather Locklear is nothing but a huge PLUS for the show. Locklear is a great actress, and I can see an extra 2 or 3 million tuning to see the return of Amanda.
LOL yeah right….the show it a series LOW in the ratings last night with 1.3 million viewers. You’re telling me the ratings are going to more than DOUBLE just because of Heather? Ya. right.
I don’t think ratings are going to soar just because of Heather L. Alot of people that would/are interested in this show I am sure do not really know of her. The older generation may turn in for a peak, but I am sure for the 40 and 50 year olds they have no care in a show like this. They need to make the show more appesaling to the 20 and 30 year olds. Bring back Heather L. will def. make me not want to watch it (she’s so annoying, esp. as Amanda).
I love the show and it’s only improving. I can’t wait to see next week. I want to see some serious Amanda/Ella bitchery.
That dude playing “David” makes the guy they fired look like Laurence Oliver. PLEASE don’t saddle your one fantastic actress/character in this cast, Stephanie Jacobsen, to this awful actor!!!!!!! No wonder no one watches this show…….
I really like Ella/Jonah so I’m hoping that they continue to develop them further. I’m curious what Amanda thinks when she sees Ella/Jonah together at a party next week. Riley can run off with Auggie or maybe hook up with the new guy they’re bringing in. My favorite scene of the night was definitely the David/Lauren moment at the end of the show. These two definitely have chemistry and I’m sure there’s going to be plenty of angst ahead for them. Can’t wait for Amanda next week!
The “dude” playing David is great on the show and hot as hell..he is part of the reason I am watching it. The show is actually quite good without Heather, so her coming on can only make it better. This reboot is 100% better than the 90210 reboot. I actually like this better than the original Melrose.
This show is a real mess sadly. The Sydney murder seems like an afterthought with no real attention given to it.
Why did Sydney fake her death? It was briefly hinted she did it because someone was after her and wanted to protect Craig. I suspect this won’t go anywhere.
The gap for her missing twelve years was disappointing. She spent 6 years in prison for faking her death but if she had a good reason–like fear for her life–wouldn’t she have brough that up?
I thought the whole point to the flashbacks involving Sydney was to reveal an interesting insight or history of the new cast yet most of the flashes have been straightforward and dull–we aren’t talking Lost-level here.
Also there has been no build up to her murder.
Where was Jane when the police were swarming the apartment complex? You’d think she would be interested in a break in her sister’s murder. And this is like the second time that Michael has visited the complex and he hasn’t crossed her path?
And as much as I’m looking forward to Amanda’s return–I don’t think even she can save this show. She certainly didn’t save the original in its last two middling seasons when the bulk of the original cast exited leaving a revolving door of characters that never really gelled like the cast in seasons 2-5 had with the audience.
I see the same thing happening here. You don’t have strong writers and they’ll still be the same ones writing episodes, they’ll be writing Amanda’s lines and like in seasons 6/7 of the original Locklear needs a strong supporting cast she can’t do it by herself and with the exception of Ella and Lauren there just isn’t one. They need to fire the writers they’ve got now, ditch the light fluffiness of the show and embrace the twisted arcs that were the hallmarks of the original, and bring Jane/Michael and maybe one or two of the original characters back in a more central way.
As far as last night’s episode I did however like seeing the softer vulnerable side to David in wanting to be a big brother to Noah and I think Lauren and he would make a nice couple.
I agree Ashlee Simpson Wentz may not be the best actress but her character is interesting. The problem with MP is that they try to focus on all its characters in one episode giving everyone storylines. They need to focus on a couple of characters an episode to speed up the process. Everyone episode takes place in one day.
Love this show! Its been improving since the dull first episode. Last night was the strongest yet. The best characters are Ella and Lauren. I don’t mind Ashlee as the psycho. Her storyline is the most exciting part of the show! My only real complaint is the misuse of some of the old characters, especially Jane (supposedly the new landlord and sister of dead Sydney) she should pop in once in while, they don’t even mention her in passing. Her debut was a central plotline she had pages of lines then she just disapperared. I understand there is a budget, but they should atleast mention her from time to time. Next week ratings will probably rise nearly 50% with Heather!!
cont…. I may be in the minority but I actually like almost every character on the show. Auggie was the most boring character on the show so they can leave him in Mexico.
I AM OVERJOYED WITH EXCITEMENT, TO SEE THE RETURN OF AMANDA WOODWARD HONEY.
I CAN’T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im starting to enjoy this show. agree that david and lauren have hot chemsitry…but i dont mind having them apart for now. same with elle and jonah. it creates storylines. although i enjoyed the creepy factor of Violet as a character, Ash Simpson didnt serve her justice. Maybe recast? or introduce another similar character. they need a creepy, loopy tenant for the fun factor.
Although I love the fact that Amanda is coming back. How will she fit into this new format besides being the boss of Ella? Am I the only one thinking that?
Mel, I am worried about that too. You would think Ella would have mentioned the character Amanda several times so its more seamless when she SUDDENLY arrives as boss. They screwed up Sids sister Jane and photographer Jo. Lets hope the long awaited arrival of Amanda proves us all wrong!
cont… The only old character that is paying off so far is Doctor Micheal Mancini. He used to be one of the most entertaining characters back in the 90’s version. He has been too serious and somber so far, he needs to lighten up and get a sense of humor. I understand he is older and more responsible now but the change in personality is a 180 degree change. That said, the good doc was fantastic last night. I CAN’T WAIT FOR HEATHER LOCKLEAR!! Who cares if she’s older, check out the Desperate Houswives most of them are around her age.
That is why I was thinking Heather Locklear is more in league with Desperate Housewives, but I’m sure she’ll work her magic with the younger generation on Melrose Place.
I have to say that while I never expected Lauren and David to get together (until their recent fight at least), I do think they have a lot of chemistry and make a good couple. I really hope that Lauren’s days of hooking are numbered.
I really hope the ratings elevate high enoough for CW to be satisfied. I just hope that their expectations aren’t too high (CW can only garner so much)imagine this show back on FOX. I bet it would be doing close to 10 million (as opposed to the under 2 million it has been doing), Heather must be feeling lots of pressure, but she shouldn’t becuase she has proven herself with Dynasty and Melorse already. She was AMAZING on both.
Heather Locklear is going to be amazing but it’s going to take more than her return to turn the show around. The writing here is simply not that good. I hate saying that because I do love the show and I loved the original. Melrose is not fun and fluff, it’s twisted storylines and sexy people doing really messed up things to each other.
I am not excited that Amanda is coming back – Melrose 2.0 needs younger celebs, I am sure Heather L. was able to save shows of the past in her age bracket, but I mean, she is old enough to be everyone’s mom and possibly even grandmom.
BRING ON THE BITCH! Dying to see amanda on the show. I liked the show both old and new, but She will always be the Quenn of Melrose!
Amanda is the greatest thing. Everyone should be obsessed with her return!!!!!