Halloween came early to reality TV this past week. Dancing With the Stars and America’s Next Top Model broadcast graphic, disturbing scenes as scary as anything that Jigsaw fella could’ve cooked up in the Saw series. So You Think You Can Dance brought out angels, cave-people, and the human embodiment of a text message. Project Runway found its top six contestants handing out boxes of stale raisins instead of delicious candy. And Top Chef served up one deluded douchebag trying to dress himself up as a front-runner — and failing poetically!
Press play on our latest five-part installment of Réalité (segments 2-5 stream automatically after part 1 finishes) to: find out my co-host Dawnie Walton’s controversial views on krumping; discover why a damaged weave and a violent game of bobbing for crotches turned me into a fan of DWTS’s least recognizable “celebrity”; ascertain how Barack Obama, the Dalai Lama and people from dozens of ethnic backgrounds were insulted by Tyra Banks; and unearth what exactly was in Jennifer’s sauce pot on Top Chef. When you’re done, share your thoughts in the comments section below, and send me a Tweet to let me know which other shows Réalité should be covering @EWMichaelSlezak. And if that’s not reason enough for you to tune in, I promise you’ll get to hear me mispronounce the tricky French term “verjus nage” not once, but twice! Holla!
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Thank you!!! So much fun – have been looking forward to Realite!
The only way the Rockin’ Robin jive could have been worse is if they used the Megan Corkrey version from American Idol last year.
LOL That’s a good one! Maybe it’s because it’s so late at night, but I am laughing so hard right now at this comment : D
haha, I almost spit out my lunch laughing at your comment!!
That was a brilliant call!
rural juror! 30 rock! i love it!
LMAO !!!
Realite is great! So fantastic.
I liked the WTF subsitute text (during the SYTYCD recap). Maybe I’ll just watch these and not the show.
Also, SYTYCD is so hard to get into. Its like I think if I squint it will look like American Idol.
Realite is what I look forward to on Monday mornings!!! Thanks for being awesome and hilarious!
Thank you, Dawnie Walton, for identifying the problem with Ryan from SYTYCD. He’s a total Monet. Legacy/Kathryn’s routine was the best of the night, but I also still give Legacy the gasface because I believe he will turn out to be the cute but out of his depth hip hop dancer of the season. Another damn fine episode of Realite. If only you’d add The Amazing Race and get rid of Top Model (or PR, since it’s hard to get off the Tyra crack), the show would be perfect!
I think I’ll take up crumping to unleash my inner rage from having to watch Joanna Kruppa dance. Thank you for summarizing Top Model for me so I don’t have to watch it!
Didn’t Tyra do Blackface already in Season 3/4. One of those seasons.
yeah, in 4 I think. But that was before she went crazy.
I haven’t watched Top Model in years, but this clip cracked me up! Tyra is bats**t insane for doing that shoot.
“Think about Egypt, about what the people have been through.” Say what??
I agree with you Slezak on Mollee. I swear just because Nathan is paired with her he is no longer my favorite. Just something about her and the pairing of those 2 is so obnoxious. IDk But Russell was awesome last week and made me a fan!
I gave up on Top Model ages ago. Tyra and her antics are more sad than funny to me these days.
And Jennifer FTW!!! (love her)
How can you be against Mollee and Nathan, thats like being against puppies, and bunnies, and rainbows! hahaha
I’m also with you on Mollee: can’t stand her arggghhhh. And she looks like she’s 15.
My mind just keeps being blown by the idea that Mollee is older than Jeanine was during the first performance show this summer. What a difference personality makes.
Russell is awesome, though. Not just that he seems very good technically (to somebody who knows nothing about dancing), but that he enjoys it so darn much!
“My mind just keeps being blown by the idea that Mollee is older than Jeanine was during the first performance show this summer. What a difference personality makes.”
Oh, wow, that’s special. Had no idea… and really, how could I have? (Not otherwise being one to look at the birthdates)
Hmmm. Frankly, like a lot of people not from New York, I hate Seinfeld and never watched the show because it wasn’t even remotely funny and listening to Jerry was like listening to nails on a chalkboard. On Top Chef, the brothers V have devolved to obnoxious cartoons: the older is Sam the Eagle from the Muppets, complete with the rod up his rear, and the younger one clearly has some serious childhood issues to overcome. I’d pretty much hate either of those jerks to win anything. I’ve gone Team Kevin becuse his food is virtually univerally lauded for it’s taste and ability to satisfy.
Seinfeld is awesome.
Don’t speak for a “lot of people not from New York”. Seinfeld was consistently highly rated and reviewed, so obviously a lot of people not from New York (including me) watched it and liked it.
“Like a lot of people not from New York”? What national survey did you conduct in order to arrive at this conclusion?
I hate Seinfeld AND Curb Your Enthusiasm!
Don’t be a hater.
Oh, and I HATED Nathan and Molee’s disco. It was slow and labored; Nathan grimaced throughout the whole thing and looked like he’d rather have been anywhere else. Seriously, he couldn’t even fake a smile? It was just BAD. And I’m not sure what Slezak’s cohort was thinking, but Ryan is clearly very handsome (and built like a Greek god) and Logan is (arguably) not attractive at all. I’m not seeing the appeal of fashion designers that don’t look like they bathe and regularly wear metallic silver.
Great as usual, but no love for Bianca and Victor’s Travis Wall piece. When they locked legs at the knees and flipped her over him in that somersault? Holy crap. It was the dance of the week for sure.
Yay Aaron – I agree that Bianca and Victor were awesome in another great Travis Wall piece – The one move that has to be altered is the running leap the woman onto the man’s back that screams “Don’t Go!”
What about when she did the straight back bend onto the ground? That girl’s got a great core!
best REALITE EVER!
Calling it “blackface” in the true sense of what it means is a bit of a stretch IMO. People are way to sensitive nowadays
I’m inclined to agree. Granted, I’m not black so I don’t have that perspective, but I think there is a difference between just makeup and “blackface”. Blackface is a product of minstrel shows, it’s done to mock and insult black people, it’s exaggerated, it’s acting out stereotypes and racism. Makeup is just changing one’s appearance for more innocuous reasons. Sure, listening to Tyra tell people to look for the eagle and waffling about the Dalai Lama was ghastly, but this wasn’t like a minstrel show. Was it?
Maybe it was. I don’t watch Top Model, but it seems like it didn’t have to be a blackface thing. Perhaps Tyra’s ignorance turned it into one because she made a mockery of it all, though she didn’t seem to be actively TRYING to mock anyone’s culture/nationality. She just comes across as a well-meaning but undeniable idiot.
I don’t see how this is any different than many of the other photo shoots that they’ve done on the show – transforming women into male characters, animal-like characters, celebrities, many characters that the models are obviously not like in reality. I didn’t see the episode, but what if there was a black girl on there who was supposed to portray someone of white heritage? Would everyone be so upset about that? Move on.
God Bless You Slezak… good way to start the week as always.
Yeah – Dawnie!
I’m getting sick of people complaining about the Tyra shoot. There was nothing racist about it. She did the exact same shoot in season 4 and no one complained back then. I think people are just looking for things to be offended by.
Hoo-boy. “Think about Egypt, about what the people have been through.”? Holy crap! There were plenty of race-related (not to mention any notions that might come from Sociology 101) issues to talk about through Top Model this week.
If they’d simply complained about the stereotyping I could agree with them (the EW people) but this insistence that making a white person look black is always blackface is just stupid. As you said, no one freaked out in Season 4 and the French Vogue thing would not have been a problem if they would use black models and if it hadn’t been so poorly done.
I’m with Dawnie on the not finding Ryan attractive front. I like my men a little less plastic looking. He looks like a Ken doll.
My unattractive stems from the fact that he married one of the most annoying people on SYTYCD
Eh, I think he’s pretty unattractive on his own. Kinda creepy looking actually. If he didn’t have a hot bod, no one would even mention his looks.
Thought Dawnie totally rocked on today’s Realite. Hoping to have her back sooner rather than later. As to the shows… Top Model, in particular, was insane this week. I mean just… wow.
Totally agree re: Dawnie rocks! I much prefer her lighthearted take on the shows and people to Kristen’s mean-spirited digs. Even Slezak seems less snarky under her sunny influence.
Dawnie is AWESOME!!! I don’t get all the love for Ramon on Runway – I mean really? Did they miss the pregnancy bowling ball bag mess he “created”. He was a joke and needed to go home.
Ra’mon didn’t design the pregnant bowling ball bag mess. I forget the guy’s name, but seem to remember he looked a bit Asian; definitely had black hair. Anyway, I just know it was not Ra’mon—and I agree that he should still be there. Also don’t get the poster who said that Logan was “not attractive??? Gee whiz. I’ll take that unattractive guy any day.
Re: Ellenore’s hand-placement on SYTYCD–I noticed that too. I actually thought it was because she felt she should “close the circle,” but wasn’t comfortable putting her hand on the bare skin ABOVE his waist.
Oh, and Slezak–I think the musical “with the ship” is “Anything Goes,” not “South Pacific.” “South Pacific” is set on…hmm…an island in the South Pacific. “Anything Goes” is set on a cruise ship and could certainly use tap dancers.
I didn’t like it when she proclaimed that it would be “the best dance sytycd has ever seen” um really?
THats exactly what i thought. She has to keep that connection while being critiqued, but probably didnt want to touch his sexually appealing bare abs! HELLOOOOO
Plus, Ryan was sweating profusely. Perhaps the leather pants were less sweaty than his perfect, married abs… Or maybe she was nervous or just wasn’t thinking.
Just cause it can’t be said enough, Jennifer FTW!!!
Also, I love all the subtitles for Top Chef. Hilarious, hilarious!
Watching this before I go to work is a highlight of otherwise depressing Mondays. Thanks!
This is the first time I caught Realite. How hilarious! I really haven’t paid much attention to the dance shows, but I totally agree that this season PR is a snoozer. It seemed that the real characters this season also lacked talent, so they were eliminated early. I can almost feel the producers egging these poor designers on to get more bitchy! Love both you and Dawnie, thanks for a quick laugh on Monday morning…(esp. the Top Model travesty!)
I wanted to slap the judges on sytycd for putting Russel in the bottoms 4.. He is like another Joshua. I am a big fan of Russel because he is not cocky and he is really good at what he does and even in genre’s he has never studied. I really hope he wins. He’s GREAT!!!!!!!!!
me too! i was going to stop watchimg if they eliminated him.i think he was really shocked b/c His solo was so angry (even for Krumping) and it took him a while to calm down afterwards. Cat seeemed noticeably nervous.
Loga, whom I agree should have been auf’ed weeks ago, can take cold comfort, that his retro 80s look that he has done a few times this season, is actually making a comeback this year. I received a promo email from Lord and Taylor this morning, touting their, “80’s rock-inspired fashion. So there Heidi, Kerry etals. Seems old Logan more of a clue than you two who were dissing him. Also, when the judges ripped Epperson and Christopher during the Macy’s/Inc challenge, if you go to Macy’s website right now and look up INC, you will see the same crap that that INC lady was so horrified about.
I have friends who are dropping out of some of the shows you dish about – I’m going to encourage them to check Realite out because you watch so others don’t have to – and for those of us who do watch – you guys make Mondays SO much easier to face! Thank you!
Watched Ellenore and Ryan hand placement again. I think maybe she was trying to keep his sweaty body from touching her without making it obvious.
That’s exactly what I thought!
yeah she kinda was barely touching him with her fingers, like she didnt want to really touch him.
I *heart* you Slezak. Realite’ rocks!
LOVE Realite! Makes me laugh… Tom Collichio’s blog explains that though the Brothers V cook fancy, it needs to really taste good and Kevin’s does.