The day we’ve all been dreading has arrived, Bachelor fans. The wise folks over at ABC’s hit fauxmance factory have seen fit to choose Jake, the exceptionally bland pilot from Dallas who defended Jillian’s honor from Wes’ cheatin’ heart last season on The Bachelorette, as the new Bachelor. I think my reaction to this news can best be summed up in one word: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Look, it’s not like previous Bachelors (with the possible exception of Bob) were bursting with personality, but Jake takes vapid to a new, almost creepy level. (See: falling into stalker-level love with Jillian after one cowboy-themed date at an empty honky-tonk bar.) Remember that scene in Coming to America where Eddie Murphy meets his arranged bride-to-be, and when he asks her what her favorite food is, she says, “Whatever food you like”? Well, Jake makes that lady look like a dynamic life partner. Never mind that the producers had two perfectly solid options in jilted Bachelorette suitors Reid (that lovable neurotic germaphobe) or Kiptyn (less lovable, but at least he isn’t Jake), but no, they had to go with the guy who looks most like a Ken doll, and who—let’s face it—is going to be easiest to manipulate. Okay, PopWatchers, I need to know what you think. Will you be watching The Bachelor: Robot Pilot Seeks Mate when it premieres in January? Or does the prospect of watching Jake’s crushingly boring style of courtship for 13 weeks make you want to weep tears of silent misery?
Kevin Foley/ABC
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As someone who has watched every season thus far, I can say H to the N way will I be watching this season. Ah, an hour of my life each week back–thanks, ABC!
Would have been HILARIOUS if Wes was the new Bachelor. I would TOTALLY watch that
You know what they say..”watch out for the quiet ones” He might have more up his sleeve then you all are giving him credit for.
Actually, it’s 2 hours each week of your life back.
I was bummed hearing that Jake was the new bachelor. But, looking at it as 2 hours each week that I get my life back is a neat way to think about it. Thanks.
You are right, DoamFoam! 2 hours–even better!!! Now I just need to make a good to-do list so I don’t just watch 2 hours of something else on TV instead–way too easy to get sucked into that…
Just do what I do… skip the 2-hour episodes each week but come here the next day to read the recaps. That way I still kinda know what’s going on but I don’t hate myself as much for following the show.
You’re right. Thanks for the reminder. Maybe I’ll start that novel….:-)
Ditto, H-to the-No! I cannot believe it and you’re right Kristen it’ll be like watching “ABC-The Bachelor: Jake P, let’s watch paint dry” How will he ever find the “right woman”? All his dates say he’s so perfect and looking for Mrs. perfect. ugh! so disappointed…noooooooooooo!
I can’t wait for Jake!!
reid would’ve been a MUCH better choice! jake is cute but he doesnt have much charisma, he’s really vanilla!!
jake is the guy women overlook, but then thier boyfrirnds treat them like dirt and they come crying to the guy deemed “too nice”. they only get what they DESERVE!
Good Girls date Good Boys; Bad Boys date Bad Girls. IOW: Mother Teresa would never marry Hitler.
I think you should wait to state your opinion until you see the first episode. That’s what I’m doing! He might end up being chocolate LOL
you’re right – he could surprise me! i liked jake during the bachelorette (he’s adorable) but i liked reid better. but im gonna watch it!
“He might end up being chocolate LOL”
That’s cute!
i agree. reid or michael s. were the best choices. jake seems like a nice guy, but if abc wants him to find love get him an eharmony membership. don’t subject bachelor fans to 2 mindnumbing hours of him.
i guess it’s just one less show my dvr will have to deal with.
Never watched and now I never will.
Why bother to post any comment at all about a show that you have never seen? You are waste of space.
Melissa, there’s no need to be mean. Everybody is entitled to their opinion.
Then why even reply on this blog?
because it is a free country and you can reply on a blog for something you don’t watch if you want to. I personally never watch and never will. this is a stupid show for stupid people
Exactly! Go live your life, while we “waste” ours on reality tv! LOL I love it.
hes so hot though! whats not to love. I would watch the show just to seem HIM. >:]
You are in the minority thinking Jake is hot. I guess you didn’t watch the show when he was on it before. The other guys on the show didn’t like his acting like he was so much better and he did this crying jag in front of the cameras outside of Jillian’s hotel room in what had to be the most fakest moment I’ve ever seen on tv.
OMG- Jake is the last guy I would have wanted to see as the new bachelor- he’s the type you can imagine hand washing and ironing his jockey drawers and placing K-pads on the bed sheets! I saw him on DWTS tonight and his hair was all f’d up like he’s started going bald since he was on the ‘rette’. He’s so NOT worth watching! GAG!
Really, really disappointed in Jake as the next Bachelor. I still remember his insipid and fake crying in hall outside Jillian’s room, when he tried to “save” Jillian. Maybe he just came cheap. Can’t imagine what the producers were thinking. He most likely will go down as the most boring bachelor and who knows maybe it will end the show permanently.
I’m definitely not watching. That’s such a lame choice. Bachelor fail.
LOL I was thinking more like Epic Bachelor Fail…
I was thinking people should stop using “fail” all the time.
And I’m thinking go suck an egg, Jennifer. Wait…you would probably “fail”…in an “epic” way…Idiot.
I was a huge Reid fan, but I’m guessing he turned it down. Jillian was their third choice (offered first to Molly then Melissa) and I’m thinking Jake might have been too.
My friends really liked him, and we always watch together, so I will probably keep watching. I’m sure ABC will be able to get enough crazy girls to bring the drama
Yes, I recently met Reid at a networking event (we live in the same town), and he told me that he turned it down to pursue other options. I don’t know about Kiptyn though– I’m assuming he was asked and turned it down, too. Jake is going to be such a snooze.
I think Reid realized that he can do better in Philly than go on The Bachelor.
The show’s really about the crazy girls anyway. That he’s so bland might actually serve to make the girls even more entertaining.
I am sad to hear the announcement that Jake is the next Bachelor. I’d rather watch Kermit The Frog be the next Bachelor than Jake. I won’t be watching next season. I have skipped other seasons, so I’m not just saying this to be ‘dramatic’.
Well, the Muppets seem to be popping up everywhere else, why not on the Bachelor? And honestly, who wouldn’t want to see Kermit FINALLY hook up with someone other than Miss Piggy? I really think you need to pitch that idea to the network. I’d totally watch!
Seriously – really, ABC? Jake’s the best you could come up with? I’m so bored already, I can’t even finish this sentenzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
HAHAHHA!
Ha! Good one.
LOL!!
this is the worst news i have ever heard
Can I have your life? This isn’t the worst news I’ve heard TODAY and I just woke up.
Best reply ever! Thanks for the chuckle.
I saw on Dancing With The Stars tonight when they announced that Jake was the next bachelor. There he sat as boring looking as ever. Darn, I will just skip the next Bachelor show. I wonder if he will pull the weird crying bit. What a downer.
Lame
This is just horrible. Why Jake. He was such a boring and many ways weird guy. Would not want to be on a plane he was in the flight crew. Maybe the most boring guy can meet the most boring lady. I will definitely skip this next Bachelor.
This can’t be true. I thought how lucky Jillian was that she didn’t end up with Mr. Boring. His crying was really sad and uncomfortable to watch. May the producers just change their minds.
Don’t care, I’m watching anyway–I love the train wreck that is The Bachelor!
Me too! I’m not exactly thrilled that it’s Jake, but I agree with you about loving the train-wreck!
Me too- can’t turn away, even though he’s a horrible choice. (I didn’t really like either of the 3 as options – they should’ve just picked some new guy.)
He’s the nicest to look at out of the three contendors, but he’s… so… look, I’m feeling so uninspired I can’t come up with words. I’m going to go take a nap.
Not sure why you think he is the nicest to look compared to Reid and Kiptyn. He looks stiff and really I don’t think he is good looking. He walks so stiffly that it is kind of sad. Anybody but him. Please change your minds producers.
I confess I never watch the show, but his photo on the EW homepage got me to read this article because he’s very cute. Nice arms too
If he’s vanilla, don’t marry him, just have fun!
This guys is NO fun. That picture you’re looking at is about as exciting as it gets.
Come on, now. At least of the three, Jake is the one that is a sure bet to be the guy who is open to the idea of falling in love. You know he’s dying to fall in love, instead of being a total player like so many of the bachelors of seasons past.
I agree, Melanie! Good grief, I’m amazed at all the Jake haters comments! Does it really matter whether it was Reid Or Jake? The drama is ALWAYS about the women, and in the end, it would be NICE if someone could fall in love and live happily ever after. I’ll be watching and hoping he finds true love.
Stop Hating… I LOVE Jake. Yes, Reid would have been a more interesting choice, but Jake is a nice guy. What’s wrong with a nice, simple guy.
Thank you! I was so excited that Jake was the new bachelor when they announced it on DWTS last night. I think my husband got a little jealous! He is absolutely the ultimate nice guy and I don’t understand why that’s so bad.
It is not that I hate Jake, he is soooo boring and stiff. He really has no personality. Most of the guys on the show when he was on, didn’t like him-remember. He is just one of those guys that thinks he is perfect and you are lucky to be in his presence. I will skip the show this time around.
I know lots of really, really nice guys with personality. That’s the problem. This is not about a “nice guy”. This is about Jake specifically. And Jake, specifically, is boring, corny and annoying.
I watch every season but I’m going to have to pass this season up. He’s simply not my idea of a prize to be won. No worries, my DVR will get a break.
I just downloaded “On The Wings Of Love” from iTunes
I think this was a rificulous choice. I don’t have anyhting against Jake at all, but he’s too emotional. On “The Bachelorette” he was the kind of guy that either you love or gets on your nerves.
I meant RIDICULOUS.
I was kinda feeling the rificulous.
my new favorite word: rificulous
How about ribiculous–short for ridiculously boring…I’m sure you all could come up with a more clever mashup, but I’m in a rush. : )
“Risticulous” works for me. Ridiculously stuffy/stiff.
Definitely won’t be watching that snoozefest…I can see it now..I like all these girls, but I can’t decide between them b/c they all think I’m too perfect..bla bla bla. I was in lust with Reid, he would have been the perfect choice and more real than any other bachelor. Maybe he was the one that declined, but either way this is a sad day for bachelor history.
This should not really be a surprise. Remember, there were ALL those women who fawning about him on the blogs and let’s not forget the reaction to him at the reunion special. For fans of the show, I hope the producers come up with interesting “dates and challenges” to hide how dull he will be.
See, when I heard this I didn’t assume that ABC didn’t ask Reid or Kiptyn. I assumed those two (wisely) turned the offer down. Jake is pretty, and nice, but SO boring.
YES OF COURSE I will be watching. I bet Jake has a LOT more personality than anyone knows, and I’d like to see what kind of girl the nice, sweet, nearly-perfect man chooses. I am happy for him. Remember hot Andy (in Hawaii)? He was boring as ever, but of course I still watched.
I believe that Jake is going to be fine as the new Bachelor — I’ll watch the show. He has morals and integrity. I would happily marry him, but I’m already married!
yea i am interested if only to see how he reacts to they crazy or drunk or very forward women that are usually on the show. lets hope his morals remain.
YOU, the producers etc. are crazy, I will never watch this show again, I think after this one you will be a done deal. Do you even imagine that this last couple will tie the knot???? Not a chance! If they do…….. I will predict that it will not last five years, In fact, I will put money on that!
Reid, a real person, a good person and one that Jillian I am thinking will be sorry to have dismissed!
I do not watch too many reality shows and the list will get shorter!
My first choice was Reid, but let’s give Jake a chance. Maybe the show will end up not being bad. Hey maybe, Fleiss will play the trump card and show us the love story . I can’t be so mean. I say let’s give the guy the benefit of the doubt. I would hate to see this show get cancelled.IT’s my favorite.