For anyone whose ever thought about Xena’s homoerotic tendencies or wondered if Peppermint Patty had more of a thing for Sally than Charlie Brown, your musings have been answered in Comedy.com’s list of 15 TV Characters Who Never Came Out of the Closet (But Should Have). The countdown isn’t all that shocking, but I love their rationale. (The Partridge Family’s Reuben Kincaid: “He was a 40-something single man who worked in the entertainment industry and had a large collection of snazzy wool sports coats.”)
As for the less-than-shocking, No. 4 is Waylon Smithers (pictured), who’s never at a loss for some sexual innuendo directed squarely at the most unattractive of targets — Mr. Burns. “What is the deal with Smithers?” you may have asked yourself (though it’s become more and more obvious as the years have rolled by). Well, someone else had the same question in mind, as you may have seen on The Simpsons‘ 138th Episode Spectacular (video after the jump).
As for Comedy.com’s No. 1 pick, Bert and Ernie, perhaps it’s a case of reading too much into things, but, um, hello — eternal roommates? Baths? I think this Family Guy clip sums up what we’ve all been thinking for so long:
Looking at the list, it’s no surprise that most of the characters are from yesteryear, before shows like Ellen, Will & Grace, Ugly Betty, and Glee made positive portrayals of gay characters as unremarkable as a container of syrup next to a plate of diner pancakes. In fact, I’m hard-pressed to think of any recent characters who could make this list* I’m sure many of you want to say Nate or Chuck from Gossip Girl, as in Nate and Chuck, but jury’s out on that one for me.
Can you guys think of any characters on TV now who need to burst through the closet door already? Any other characters from back in the day who need to be added to the list?
* I do think Stewie from Family Guy should have made the list, but perhaps he was left off because Seth MacFarlane recently cleared up that little Stew is as gay as Brian’s cousin Jasper (and because he’s, ya know, an infant). But he’s still fair game because he never actually came out on the show, right?
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Martin on the Simpsons, they’ve alluded to it on several eps. Yes I know it’s just a cartoon, yes I know he’s just a kid. But come on..
didnt Martin say he was gay after seeing Bart skateboard naked in the Simpsons movie?
I think that was Ralph.
Can you remind me of where Martin’s being gay has been alluded to? I have vague recollections, but can’t think of anything specific regarding Martin. He’s just a sissy, not gay.
You sure it’s not Milhouse you’re thinking of? From “Lisa’s Sax”:
Dr. J. Loren Pryor: “Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, there’s nothing to be alarmed about. Public school can be intimidating to a young child, particularly one with as many flamboyantly homosexual tendencies as your son.”
Marge Simpson: “Bart’s gay?”
Dr. J. Loren Pryor: “Bart?”
[looks at the file]
Dr. J. Loren Pryor: “Ah, whoo, wrong file.”
[puts the file, labeled "Milhouse Van Houten," back]
Yeah, it was Ralph. Although Martin’s probably gay, too. He dressed up as a fairy- no, sorry, Oberon, king of the fairies, for Halloween one year. No straight kid does that.
I would remove Murray and Alice (yes, I know lots of straight women with their own bowling bowls) from the list and add Felix Unger from the “Odd Couple”.
Few will know this reference, but my family always figured “Mentor” on “Shazam!” was a big old pile of gay.
All the male characters from Bewitched.
THe Crane brothers from Frazier.
The Professor from Gilligan’s Island. You ever see the way he DIDN’T look at the Ginger?
Actually, I would have said Gilligan, as the Profrssor seemed to have a thing for Mary Ann. Oh, and I forgot to mention Les Nesman of WKRP.
I have to add in Milhouse from the Simpsons. There’s even an episode when Homer and Marge go to see the school guidance counsellor (for Bart) and the counsellor says something about “homosexual tendencies” and Marge replies “Barts gay??”. The counsellor then replies “Oops, wrong file!” and as he puts it back we see Milhouse’s name on it. What more proof do we need?
(And yes, I’m a Simpsons nerd).
HOUSE and WILSON!! ‘Nuf said.
wrong! they’re both straight. they’ve never displayed any affinity for men, they’re just friends.
Tobias Funke on AD. Married means nothing, and he “blue” himself.
If Bill Adama and Saul Tigh hadn’t both been so aggressively in love with their significant others I’d call them both gay.
Well, that wasn’t suppose to go there :\
Dr. Smith on “Lost in Space” is way gay.
Murray from MTM was married to Marie & had a bunch of daughters I think.
They incorrectly identified Murray Slaughter as a “single man”. He had a wife (played by Joyce Bullifant) and daughter (played be a really young Helen Hunt).
Sheldon from TBBT.
He’s not gay! He has absolutly no sexual identity whatsoever. Sexuality is a complete waste of time to him. Which is why we will never see a Penny & Sheldon couple, despite what so many people on EW.com want
Sheldon reproduces by mitosis- doesn’t make him a homosexual
I don’t think Monroe on “Too Close for Comfort” ever came out.
Murray & his wife Marie adopted a sonbecause they had all girls. Floyd was also married in the early seasons.